Qualityland

Machine Breakers Host BBQ

by Sandra Admin

The so-called Machine Breakers have struck once again, this time in the suburbs of the city of Progress. This group of backwater individuals, who call themselves the Frontmost Resistance Front Against the Domination of the Machines (FRFat-DotM), attacked a branch of the restaurant chain Fastest Food yesterday evening. Fastest Food—“Quickest service, most dependable food”—stands out not just for having the quickest service speed, but also for the quality of their food, which is the most consistently unchangeable around. Why not stop by there tomorrow, on Threeday? On Threedays the menu always features the Sugarburger, a 180-gram sugar-coated meat patty with a large portion of FaSaSu—“Perverse but delicious.”

The branch was targeted by the Machine Breakers because it was recently completely automated in order to offer even quicker service and an even more consistent quality. The Machine Breakers destroyed all robots by beating them with axes and baseball bats. A spokesman for Fastest Food—“Quickest service, most dependable food”—complained because the police officers who arrived at the scene of the crime didn’t take any ID information from the Machine Breakers. Instead, they had a barbecue with the criminals. As onlookers reported, however, the service speed as well as the quality of the food was far beneath the level offered by Fastest Food. Nonetheless, the share price of Fastest Food—mmmm, yummy—temporarily nosedived by 5.12 percent. Richard Butcher, the CEO of Fastest Food, said he wanted to persevere with the automation regardless, due to its many advantages. He said he is striving toward creating the perfect fast food restaurant. All he needs to do now is somehow succeed in automating the customers.

Comments

» by Tino Trucker:

We tried to launch a similar attack at the Fastest Food branch here in QualityCity, but then some guy turned up out of nowhere with, well, how should I put it, an army of Kung Fu robots or something. They really kicked the crap out of us.

» by Mike Stuntman:

That’s right, you wimps! Fastest Food is under the protection of the Kung Fu Robot Mafia of QC. Stay away! We have fists of iron!

» by Mascha Organic-Shop-Owner:

I’m eating the Sugarburger at Fastest Food right now. Totally delicious. Fastest Food really is my favorite burger chain. You should all go to Fastest Food.