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OUR SPECIAL TIP FOR YOU:

Whoever said England was prudish? Take a look at this sexually explicit edition of Jane Austen’s most revered work.

Extract from Pride and Prejudice FOR YOU

“Upon my honor I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life, as I have this evening.”

As he danced past, the huge erection straining against Bingley’s trousers came into plain sight.

“You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Mr. Darcy.

Bingley was in the process of shamelessly fondling the voluptuous décolletage of the eldest Miss Bennet. By way of thanks, Miss Bennet slid her hand into his trousers and began to rub his erect member up and down.

“Oh! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable,” said Bingley. “Do let me introduce you.”

“Which do you mean?” and turning round, Darcy looked for a moment at Elizabeth, who quickly lifted her skirt so that he could see her wet pussy.

“She is tolerable,” he said coldly, “but not comely enough to tempt me.”

RECOMMENDATIONS FROM THE CLASSICS:

The Trial FOR YOU

Out of the blue, a bank employee is accused of committing a crime. He knows why. But he also knows this: he is innocent. First he flees, but then he decides to take the law into his own hands. Armed with his rifle, he fights his way through the system until he is able to prove his innocence. A straightforward thriller that leaves no questions unanswered.

Romeo and Juliet FOR YOU

The child porno classic. Thirteen-year-old Juliet is in love with the somewhat older Romeo, who comes from a rival family. Star-crossed scissoring, Montague muff-diving and Capulet climaxes galore, and a plot twist in the family crypt with an explosive and slightly necrophiliac finale.

The Diary of Anne Frank FOR YOU

Thirteen-year-old Anne Frank successfully hides herself away with her family for three years, in order to evade the Nazis. When the war comes to an end, she even gets the pony she was wishing for the whole time.

RECOMMENDATIONS FROM THE FANTASY GENRE:

The Bible FOR YOU

Only one hundred pages long, but it’s all there! Masturbation, incest, murder, and manslaughter! A punitive God and an original father-son story: “And Jehovah said, ‘Maria never told you what really happened to your father!’ ‘She told me enough!’ cried Jesus, hanging from the cross by one hand. ‘She told me you killed him!’ ‘No!’ thundered Jehovah. ‘I am your father!’”

FURTHER RECOMMENDATIONS :

Realistic Expectations by Charles Dickens, The Grapes by John Steinbeck, and of course Leo Tolstoy’s great masterpiece War.