Qualityland

Woman From Nowhere Gives Birth to Hundredth Baby

by Sandra Admin

Every year since her 32nd birthday, Shirley-Anne Waitress, now 57, from the small town of Nowhere, has had herself impregnated with quadruplets. “I decided back then that I wanted to become the first woman to bring one hundred children into the world,” she said at a press conference. Having now achieved her dream, she looks exhausted. When questioned about the motivations behind her ambition, she said she did it because it was possible. Her husband, Joe Arms-and-Tobacco-Trader, said that he has always been consistently behind his wife. He added that, for him, it was also about making a stand against the insidious takeover of QualityLand by headscarf-wearing girls and their quantitative proliferation methods. He and his wife wanted to prove that white people could have lots of kids too. “Hopefully our example will serve as an inspiration to others,” he said. “Then the battle won’t yet be lost!”

Comments

» BY MELISSA SEX-WORKER:

I’m not racist or anything, but Shirley-Anne is an example to us all!

» BY CYNTHIA HELICOPTER-PILOT:

Good grief. To be honest I feel overstretched with just one kid.

» BY TIM E-SPORTSMAN:

Someone should shoot this woman and her doctors up to Mars in a rocket. She could colonize the place single-handedly.