Birthright

name.

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Victory celebrations were in progress on almost a thousand scattered worlds, not the least of which was Gamma Leporis IX. Intoxicants flowed and happiness reigned supreme on this final night of idleness. “Hey!” cried somebody. “Let's let Ferdy in and give him a drink! He's got as much right inside here as anybody.”

Indeed he did, agreed Ferdinand silently. He had no auditory orifices with which to hear, but he had means of understanding what was said, and he'd been listening intently all evening. He didn't especially like being inside the auditorium. It was warm and uncomfortable, the higher oxygen content of the air made his eyes smart, and his metabolism couldn't cope with the whiskey they were feeding him. But Men were a pretty pleasant species, and he was very happy to kill nelsons in exchange for magnesium.

Tomorrow morning, he decided, would be soon enough to present them with the Butterballs’ list of demands.

4: THE PSYCHOLOGISTS

...Probably no field of study was more instantly expanded than that of psychology, for where Man originally had only himself as a subject, he now had literally thousands of races, many with such foreign values that simply separating sentient from nonsentient life forms became a titanic task. For half a millennium Man was able to communicate with less than five percent of the other races of the galaxy; as his new psychological skills improved, he was ultimately able to understand and exchange ideas with almost half of them...

—Man: Twelve Millennia of Achievement ...Conceived as a pure science, Man's mastery of psychology soon became simply another tool to be used in his expansionist endeavors, often pointing out the weaknesses in an enemy's mental defenses. Nonetheless, in its formative years—100 to G.E.—the purpose of alien psychology was still rather pure and idealistic. Some fascinating problems arose and were ultimately solved, and many of Man's methods have since been adopted by... —Origin and History of the Sentient Races, Vol. 7 Consuela Orta walked into the room and smiled politely at the Madcap. The Madcap immediately began eating its tail.

“Good morning,” she said.

The Madcap growled hideously at her, then started battering its head against the padded wall. “Would you like some water?” asked Consuela, placing a dish on the floor. The Madcap giggled hysterically, took another bite of its tail, and lay on its back, its feet held rigidly in the air.

Consuela remained where she was for five minutes. Then, with a sigh, she opened the door to leave. “Good morning,” said the Madcap.