The Laird of Dunoon

The Laird of Dunoon

Leans back in his chair,

Trousers rolled up to the knee.

Easing his braces

With courteous graces

He sips at his Newcastle B.

The Laird of Dunoon

In the newspaper bonnet

Smiles as he looks out to sea.

Taking a drag

From a finely rolled fag,

He sips at his Newcastle B.

The Laird of Dunoon

In the Fair Isle pullover

Whistles '˜The Rose of Tralee'.

He swivels his hips

As he purses his lips,

And sips at his Newcastle B.

The Laird of Dunoon

Glances down at his Rolex

And sees that it's time for his tea.

He slips on his socks,

Puts his specs in a box

And finishes his Newcastle B.

Ah, if only all of life could be as this.

But regretfully, it cannot!

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