Mr Mills of twenty-three
Said, 'Look at this and envy me.'
He'd kitted himself out with trolley wheels.
I said, 'Yes, well, very nice.'
I'd seen that trick done once or twice
But cared not for it either time, preferring house-trained seals.
House trained,
House trained,
Rat and mouse trained,
In and out,
And roundabout trained.
Mr Mills of twenty-three
Was given out the OBE,
For services to pe-des-tri-an-ism as a whole,
I said, 'Yes, well very nice.'
I'd seen that trick done once or twice
But cared not for it either time, preferring the house-trained vole.
House trained,
House trained,
Rat and mouse trained,
Up the spout,
And all about trained.
Mr Mills of twenty-three
Became a big celebrity,
And opened up the Summer fГЄte for three years in a row.
I said, 'Yes, well, very nice.'
I'd seen that trick done once or twice
But cared not for it either time, preferring Jean Cocteau.
But then I went to art school, so what else would you expect?