'Here, what's this?' says Kirby,
Kirby with those legs he wears,
Kirby with his books and prayers,
Kirby living under stairs,
Stupid bow-legs Kirby.
'So, who's there?' says Kirby,
Kirby with his Fifties suit,
Kirby with his iron book,
Kirby with his pheasant shoot,
Stupid bow-legs Kirby.
Well, why's this?' says Kirby,
Kirby with his kipper tie,
Kirby with his lazy eye,
Kirby with his tasty fry,
Stupid bow-legs Kirby.
'Yes, I see!' says Kirby,
Kirby with his winning ways,
Kirby with his love of praise,
Kirby with his open days,
Stupid bow-legs, greaseball, over-fed, toffee-nosed, know-it-all, no-good-son-of-a-pig who wouldn't let me in his gang-
Stupid bow-legs fat-head!