Almost Perfect

GWEN AND IANTO GET A SHOPPING MONTAGE

Jack had insisted they go shopping.

‘Just wear something natural,’ Gwen had urged. Ianto had looked at her, slightly worried, and then gone off, very solemnly. Ianto emerged wearing… oh god. A tight pair of jeans, the same T-shirt as Gwen and a pretty close match for her leather jacket.

‘What do you think?’ he asked.

‘Yeees,’ said Gwen. ‘You look very good. Really good. But it’s not you. It’s me.’ Plus, if you wear that, I will have to kill you.

‘But it looks so good on you,’ said Ianto. Bless.

‘Wear what you want. Surely you’re more suits and skirts? Look around you. Really express yourself. Go crazy. And nothing orange.’

Ianto nodded, a bit panicked, and wandered off.

After three quarters of an hour they both gave up and bought him a little black dress, a sensible grey business suit and some blouses. ‘I got it a size up,’ explained Ianto to Gwen as they headed for the tills, ‘After all, hopefully I won’t be a woman for long. And then I thought you could have my clothes.’

Right, thought Gwen.

‘Now,’ said Ianto, smiling bravely, ‘perhaps you can explain about bras.’

It was at this point that Jack called.