A Rage for Revenge

20 The Fourth Corner

And that's how I joined the Tribe. It was that easy.

The difference was simple. Instead of waiting until I was told to do something, now it was my job to invent my own responsibilities. If I saw something that needed doing, it was my job to see that it got done.

For example, about a week later I went to Jason and said, "I think we need weapon drills, Jason. I think everybody over the age of fourteen should know how to use a gun. I'm prepared to start teaching the classes twice a week."

Jason nodded and replied, "That's fine, Jim. We'll announce it at circle tonight." And then he thought a moment. "Let's make it an honor; you'll teach two at a time. That way we don't pull the rest of the camp off purpose. You choose who you want to honor, check it with me, and I'll announce it at circle. All right?"

"That's it?"

"You look surprised."

"I thought you might be a little concerned about teaching the children how to use guns."

"No," said Jason. "You've obviously thought it out, you think it's necessary-and for what it's worth, I agree with you. That business with the bikers proves you right."

And that was that.

I fell into the routine without question. I worked naked in the gardens for an hour every morning. I enjoyed singing to the plants; I liked to see their long spiky black tendrils unfold to the sun each day. I helped prepare dinner three days a week, and I herded bunnydogs the other four.

Hoolihan had given birth to several hundred libbit-babies. We culled out the fattest and pinkest and put those in cages to grow, at least twenty or thirty. The rest we ate.

Every other week, we went out scouting. I didn't go every time, but I went along often enough to not feel left out when I wasn't invited to join. Jason thought we might be able to move the camp within a month; he had an idea we might be safer higher up in the mountains, and everybody agreed with him.

In the evenings, we circled and danced. And we slept with each other. Loolie and Jessie and Marcie; and Jason and Danny and Billy. Frankenstein was the most tender lover I'd ever known. Loolie was the most playful of them all. I'd been wrong about her age; she was almost eleven, but so small she still looked like a baby. Sex to her was not a serious business, but a silly one, and not about penetration as much as it was about being naked and tickling.

I should have been happy. And I was. But, at the same time, I felt troubled. It bothered me.

Because I thought that I shouldn't be feeling so troubled. I should have been as joyous as everybody else, shouldn't I?

This was a place of happiness and love. Even the Chtorrans were more affectionate to me now. Once, when we were all in circle, Orrie came up behind me and gave me a friendly bump and a purr. Everybody laughed. Including me. I liked Orrie. He was a person.

Finally, there was nothing for me to do but tell Jason of my conflicts. He only said, "You're asking me for help, Jim. I don't help people. It takes away their opportunities to be responsible for themselves. This is one you have to create yourself. Let me know what you want to do." Then he sent me back to my chores.

I knew I was marking time. I was waiting for something to happen, something that would answer the question for me; and I knew that was dangerous. Jason had this to say about waiting: "There are two basic conditions in the world of the unconscious. One is waiting for Santa Claus. We're all like that when we're kids. One day we figure out that Santa Claus isn't coming, that's when we slip into the second condition: waiting for rigor mortis. Around here, we've given up waiting. We don't wait. We create. We can't afford to wait, can we?"

No, we can't.

I understood exactly. I realized that I was not the same person anymore. I was experiencing the truth of what Jason said. It wasn't that hard to create myself as an extraordinary being, not when I was surrounded by other extraordinary beings, all of whom were also committed to functioning at that level. If I forgot, there was always someone there to remind me. If they forgot, then I was there to remind them. We supported each other in staying extraordinary. We were all flushed with enthusiasm for our lives. It was an exciting and exhilarating time.

And then, one afternoon, a wave of excitement swept across the camp. "It's happened!" One of the little girls came running across the main field. "It's happened! The new god is born. We have a fourth corner!"

All over the camp, people looked up from their work. A woman crawled out from under a car, grease on her face. Two more, hanging laundry on the line, put down their baskets. Two men with rifles came running down the hill. Those of us who were working in the garden put down our hoes. Jessie, nursing her baby, came out of the women's enclosure. Marcie came out of Jason's office, a surprised look on her face. It was the first time I'd seen her smile. Already, people were moving in the direction of the nursery, a small tent that had been set up near the pool. I saw two children riding on Falstaff's back as he flowed eagerly down.

As we approached, Orrie reared up as if in challenge, but instead of issuing the shrill cry of warning, he made the most amazing whooping sound I'd ever heard a Chtorran make.

Almost everybody in the Tribe was gathering around in eager anticipation. I was acutely aware of the enthusiasm, and my own curiosity as well. There was so much about the Chtorran biology that I wanted to know. I wanted to see what a Chtorran egg looked like-or were they born live? Jason had never said.

Abruptly, the tent flap opened and Jason stepped out, carrying a tiny pink bundle. The pink bundle had two big black eyes that swiveled and stared at the world with incredulity. What kind of a place was this? it looked like it was asking.

There was awestruck silence from the crowd. Nobody dared make a sound louder than breath.

Jason had a big silly grin on his face. He was ecstatic. He held the baby out for all to see. He raised it high. The little creature was maybe half a meter long. It couldn't have weighed more than ten kilos, probably less. Its little arms reached out and grabbed Jason's big hands for security. "Awwww," said the crowd.

Jason lowered the baby back into his arms. He stroked it reassuringly and made cooing noises. He moved toward Orrie and held the baby worm out for Orrie to see. Orrie goggle-eyed the tiny creature. The baby Chtorran goggle-eyed him right back. Orrie reached out with his long arms and gently touched the tiny pink worm. The baby claws reached up and touched Orrie's bigger hand. They wrapped around his bony black wrist and pulled it down in front of the tiny eyes. The baby made a whimpery sound and reached toward Orrie. Orrie repeated his whooping cry from before, only now it was a lullabye. Jason allowed the tiny Chton-an to flow into Orrie's arms. Orrie took the baby and held it up before his eyes. He burped and chirped at it. He held the creature up high and looked at it, as if he were holding it up to the light and looking for the secret message, as if he were deciding , whether to kill it or keep it. He chose.

He raised the baby high, then brought him down onto his back, nestling him in the hollow between his eyestalks and his brainbulge. The baby grabbed huge handfuls of Orrie's skin and settled in with a loud happy purr.

Everybody cheered. We had a fourth corner. We were a family. Jason raised his hands high. "Everybody come to circle tonight. We shall revel and revelate!"

Jason turned to Jessie and gave her some quiet instructions, then turned back to Orrie. Orrie lifted the baby off his back and handed it back to Jason. Jason stepped inside the tent, and Orrie raised up and whooped for us all. We all cheered and hollered with him.

Jessie handed her baby to one of the girls and started breaking up the crowd then. When she came to me, she said, "Jim, I want you to go down to the cookhouse and bring up five pounds of fresh burger. Tell Judy to round up all the loose dogs if she has to. And do it double quick. Chop chop."

I ran.

Judy complained when I told her what we needed, until I told her that it was for the new god. Then she shut up. She turned to her refrigerator and handed me a large wrapped package. "Here's three and a half. I'll bring up the rest myself in a little bit."

When I got back to the tent, there was no one there. I hallooed and Jason's voice called softly, "Come on in, Jim. You'll find this interesting."

I entered the tent cautiously.

Inside, there was a wooden floor and a plastic tarpaulin. The new baby was on the floor and Jason was wiping it down with a towel. "Being born is hard work," he was saying to it. "Isn't it?" He didn't even glance up at me. "Put the burger behind me where I can reach it, Jim. Unwrap it."

I fumbled with the package, opened it and laid it down behind him. I didn't know if he would want anything else, so I waited. Off to one side, I noticed the pieces of a large brownish shell. So, Chtorrans came from eggs after all. That was nice to know.

Jason reached back behind him and broke off a chunk of the ground meat. He rolled it into a meatball and put it on the floor just in front of the baby. The baby's eyes widened with interest. It moved forward slowly, its tiny antennae waving in the air. It came right up to the meatball and cocked its eyes down and stared at it, not knowing what it was or what it was supposed to do with it. It lowered its antennae almost until they touched the meat. It swiveled its eyes to look at Jason, then at me, then at the meatball again. "Chrrp?"

"Go ahead, baby," encouraged Jason.

The baby tapped the meat with its antennae again.

"This is a crucial moment, Jim. If he can't recognize Terran food, he'll starve to death. We lost our first two babies because they didn't know to eat."

"Could you help him? Couldn't you put it in his mouth?"

Jason shook his head. "He has to do it himself."

The baby looked up confused. I felt my heart sink. This baby meant so much to everybody. It wasn't going to eat.

The baby turned back and stared at the meat for a long, long moment. "Chrrrrppppp," it said.

Please, I prayed. Eat.

The baby opened its mouth and slowly engulfed the meatball. It chewed softly, almost ruminatively-Jason and I held our breaths-then it looked up at both of us and said, "Brup?" Jason and I exchanged triumphant looks! The baby was going to make it.

Excitedly, Jason broke off another chunk of meat and rolled it into a bigger ball. The baby watched with interest as he put it down on the floor.

This time, the baby didn't hesitate as long. It tapped the meatball twice with its antennae, just to check; then pounced on the gobbet and ate it quickly. "Brrpity?"

Jason split the rest of the meat into three lumps and put them out on the floor. The baby moved from one to the next and ate each of them with enthusiasm.

"He's going to make it," Jason said proudly. "We really are a family now. There's a lot of work to do, but we're on our way now, Jim." He looked to me. "Thank you. You've made an incredible difference, just being here. This is an historic moment, you know. You'll be sharing this with people for years." He wiped his hands on a towel, then began wiping down the baby again.

The baby grabbed one of Jason's fingers and tapped it curiously with its antennae. "Frrp?" it asked. It pulled Jason's hand toward its mouth.

Jason freed his finger gently. "No," he said. "No. Not frrp, or anything else." He said to me. "You'd better go now, Jim. There'll be a lot to do to get ready for tonight. And I need to stay here until then."

I went back to the camp feeling curiously jubilant. I made a difference. Jason said so.