Weaveworld

II

DESPAIR

nd so it went on for a week and a half: no news, no news.

He returned to work, claiming his father’s illness as reason for his absence, and took up where he’d left off amid the claim forms. At lunchtimes he came back to the house to heat up some food for Brendan – who, though he could be coaxed from his room, was painfully anxious to return to it – and to feed the birds. In the evenings he made some attempt to tidy the garden; he even patched the fence. But these tasks received only a fraction of his attention. However many diversions he put between himself and his impatience, nine out of every ten thoughts were of Suzanna and her precious burden.

But the more days that went by without word from her, the more he began to think the unthinkable: that she wasn’t going to ring. Either she feared the consequences of trying to make contact or, worse, she no longer could. Towards the end of the second week, he decided to try and find the carpet by the only means available to him. He set the pigeons free.

They rose up into the air in an aerial ovation, and circled the house. The sight reminded him of that first day in Rue Street, and his spirits lifted.

‘Go on,’ he willed them. ‘Go on.’

Round and round they flew, as if orienting themselves. His heart beat a little faster each time it seemed one of them was detaching itself from the flock to head off. Running shoes on, he was ready to follow.

But after all too short a time they began to tire of their liberation. One by one they fluttered down again – even 33 – some landing in the garden, others on the gutters of the house. A few even flew straight back into the loft. Their perches were cramped, and doubtless the night trains disturbed their sleep, but for most of them it was the only habitat they’d ever known.

Though there were surely winds up there to tempt them, winds that smelt of places lusher than their loft beside the railway line, they had no wish to chance their wings on such currents.

He cursed them for their lack of enterprise; and fed them; and watered them; and finally returned despondently to the house, where Brendan was talking of rats again.