Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming

Chapter 3

Never had the demigod looked handsomer. His dark cloak, draped artfully over his massive white marble body, looked miraculously beautiful. Every strand of his hyacinthine hair was in place. A faint Oriental tilt to his eyes gave him a look of unutterable beauty and wisdom. The blankness of his eyes, which, in the classic statuary mode, were without pupils, made him seem preternaturally wise. Even his sandals gave off an air of sapience.

"O Hermes," Charming said, "what Azzie is doing isn't fair, sending out Frike to take my head, and all because I haven't fallen in with his scheme of having Princess Scarlet murder me."

"It does seem unfair," Hermes said. "But who ever said demons were otherwise?"

"Has he even the right by divine law to send his servant to take my head?"

"Let me see," Hermes said. He removed from a fold of his cloak a thick scroll. He threw it into the air and it unwound, soaring upward with paper spilling down.

Hermes snapped his fingers and a small spotted owl ap­peared.

"Find me the relevant passage for laws regulating the ac­tions of demons' assistants," Hermes said.

"You got it," said the owl, and fluttered up into the air, darting close to the endlessly long page of the scroll. Finally it darted in on a section, pinched the parchment in its beak, and brought it back to Hermes.

Hermes read the entry and shook his head sorrowfully. "As I feared. He can do anything he wants with you via a servant, since he created you. Assembled, actually, but it comes to much the same thing."

"But why should that give him power of life and death over me?"

"That's how it goes in the creation game. But you are not without recourse."

"What can I do?"

"Kill Frike."

"You think I might be able to? He looks awfully strong to me."

"Yes, but you're a hero. Maybe if you had a good sword ..."

"I had Excalibur but we parted ways. It was trying to kill me."

"You must get it back. It will take a magic sword to kill a supernaturally augmented demon's assistant."

"I think I ought to mention, I'm very scared," Charming said.

"That's because you were given a coward's heart. Don't worry about it, though. Everyone's scared."

"Everyone?"

"Those who are too courageous perish too quickly to leave a record. Cowardice is nothing to be ashamed of, Prince Charm­ing. It is like measles - most people get it at least once in their lives. Just ignore it and it'll go away. Carry on without it. The metaphor is unclear, but your path of duty is not. Get out of here, Charming, and find the sword. Tell your coward's heart to stop fluttering and get on with destroying this knave of a Frike and claiming your Princess for forever after. She's very pretty, by the way."

"Yes," Charming said, "isn't she? But I'm afraid she's sulky."

"The good ones always are," Hermes said. "Come on, let's go get that sword!"