Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming

Chapter 5

Scarlet paced before Ylith.

"I'm getting so sick of napping," she said.

She continued to pace.

"I'm never fully awake, it seems, and I can't get a good night's sleep either. I need to do something more than stay here in this stupid castle waiting for some guy to come along and wake me up. I want to get out of here! I want to talk to someone!"

"You can talk to me," Ylith replied.

"Oh, Aunt Ylith, you're very nice. I'd be completely out of my mind if you weren't here. But I'd like to talk to someone else. You know ... a man."

"I wish I could help you," Ylith said. "But you know you're not supposed to have any company. You're just supposed to sleep until Prince Charming gets here."

"I know, I know," Scarlet said. Tears filled her eyes. "But it's so boring, just sleeping all the time. And not even sleeping well. Napping! Oh, please, Aunt Ylith, isn't there some way you can help me?"

Ylith considered. She felt more irritated with Azzie than before. She should have known better than to trust him again. Still, there was nothing she could do about it now.

The following day, there came a knocking at the gate: it came during one of Scarlet's rare moments of wakefulness, and she rushed down to open it herself.

Standing at the door was a six-foot frog dressed in foot­man's livery, with a white peruke slightly askew on his warty green head.

"Hello," Scarlet said calmly. She was getting quite used to enchanted visitations. After talking with Azzie-who was very strange, in his puff-of-smoke comings and goings-and Ylith, who spent considerable time before a magic mirror, ob­serving the townspeople at the foot of the mountain, as well as points distant (including the nether regions and lower astral realms)-nothing could surprise her. "Are you the Prince who's supposed to awaken me?"

"Heavens no!" the frog said. "I am a messenger."

"But underneath the frog disguise you're really a handsome young man, aren't you?"

"Afraid not," he replied. "I've been enchanted to possess the power of human speech and made to be six feet tall."

"What are you like when you're not enchanted?"

"I'm six inches tall and I croak."

"What do you want? "

"I have an invitation for you."

He held out a square of cardboard upon which letters had been embossed:

YOU ARE INVITED TO A CELEBRATION

MASKED BALL IN HONOR OF

CINDERELLA AND HER PRINCE

MUSIC BY ORLANDO AND THE FURIOSOS

GIORDANO BRUNO AND THE HERMETIC TRADITION

SPARTACUS AND THE REVOLTING SLAVES

CHARADES, DOOR PRIZES

TASTEFUL REVELRY

"Oh, thank you!" Scarlet said. "But why did Princess "Cinderella ask me? I don't even know her."

"She heard that you are alone here and is sympathetic to your plight. She's had her own problems, you know."

"I'd love to go! But I have no ballroom gown."

"Surely you can get one."

"And transport... How would I get there?"

"Merely contact Enchanted Ball Caterers, and at the proper time they will dispatch me with a coach fashioned out of a pumpkin."

"Oh. But won't I get pumpkin juice on my gown?"

"Not a chance of it. The interior is upholstered in rarest watered silk."

"Watered?"

"It's dry, don't worry."

"Thank you! Thank you!" Scarlet rushed off to tell Ylith about the wonderful invitation.

"Faith, child, Azzie has a spell over this whole place," Ylith replied. "It would take a plenipotentiary pass to get you out of here. And that, only the Powers of Darkness can supply."

"But what can I do?"

"Nothing, poor dear," she mused. "Though if you had Azzie's unlimited credit card, then a lot would be possible. And he keeps it so carelessly, too, in the upper pocket of his waist­coat. You'll just have to hope that he drops it when he visits you next, and that you can pick it up before he misses it."

"But what if he doesn't drop it?"

"Your own hands can help you," Ylith said. "Especially the left one."

Scarlet looked at her hands. The left one, the pickpocket's hand, was slightly smaller than the right one, and looked, she didn't know how to say it, somehow more Ay than its near mate.

"What is it about my left hand? I can see it's small and I suppose dainty. But what of it?"

"That hand has a skill for getting what you need."

"And if I had the card?"

"Why then," Ylith said, "you could call up a ballroom gown and get an order through to the Enchanted Ball Caterers. Then you could go to the ball, so long as you came straight back."

"Why are you telling me these things?"

Ylith looked away.

"Anger and pity, my dear," she said at length. "The first is a strength and the second a weakness. So think of it mainly as the first. And it is time that you learned about balls. And free will."

She patted Princess Scarlet's hand, which half succeeded in removing a jeweled ring as she was about it.

"Yes," she continued. "The hell with Azzie." And she smiled. "That's grace for you."