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You delivered me from my enemies, you gave me the gift of my life.
So that I could throw it away again, the day I left you on Tiamat. And now I'm sinking into quicksand, and I
can't help myself. . . . Thank the gods you can't see me now. At least you'll never have to know the truth about me, the way my father did.
But I still need you. I need you more than ever ... if
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I could only find you, touch you, hold you, make you mine the way I should have, everything would be right again--
You gave me back the future. And now I'm lost in it;
like a wretched dog howling after the moon.
105
another day.
This one was the worst yet. We lost most of our food today--thanks to Spadrin and his selfish, craven stupidity.
He got into another argument with Ang a few days ago, about his using the rover's main power access for his plugheading. Even Ang finally agreed that the rover's electrical system shouldn't be used for anything unnecessary.
He ordered Spadrin to stop.
So Spadrin found another power supply--the unit
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that kept the perishable food in stass--and he burned it out. But he didn't tell anyone. He didn't even know what he'd done, the cretin.
No one did, until we ate breakfast--and spent the rest of the day doubled up with cramps and nausea. Food poisoning; we were lucky it didn't kill us. When I could think again about anything besides the pain in my gut, I checked the food locker's field generator, and found the short. I told the others. Even Ang couldn't ignore the look on Spadrin's face as he realized what he'd done-- not just to us, this time, but to himself.
"How long?" Ang asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Spadrin said. He wiped his mouth, wiped perspiration off of his face.