World's End

Page 36

overworked orbital industries--the price we paid for our leadership in the Hegemony.

"We must notify thy mother. She will surely want to see thee once more ... if her work will allow it."

I didn't answer, afraid that anything I said would be the wrong thing. Suddenly my chest hurt. I recited an adhani under my breath. Mother had gotten fed up with us all when I was only five. I could count on the fingers of my hands the times I'd seen her since then. She spent her time on another continent halfway around the world, leading archeological excavations of Old Empire ruins. ... I had heard so many times as a child that I

wasn't to blame that I was sure it must somehow have been my fault. She didn't come home before I left Kharemough.

"Are thou certain this is the right course? After all, thou're only a boy--" I saw the trembling of his hands, which he usually controlled so well.

"Father, I'm nearly twenty standards. I already have more degrees than HK and SB put together.

I can't spend the rest of my life studying, preparing for something--" For something I would never have. "I'm a grown man. And I'm

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43

JOAN D. VINGE

not thy heir. It would be dishonorable for me to live here any longer." But more than that, living with my brothers had finally become unbearable.

"Scholarship is a respected calling in its own right.

Thou could at least remain here on Kharemough, and teach--"

"No." I bit my lip, seeing the pain in his eyes. But the pain of staying would be far worse.

"Thou know . . ." His mouth resisted the words.

". . thou know that I'm not young. It's true that thou're last in line to inherit. But to leave Kharemough ... If something were to happen to thy brothers--"

"Nothing will happen to them, Father " If only it would! The violence of the thought almost blinded me. I

blinked and glanced away, afraid that he would read it in my

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eyes, and know.. .. "What could happen to them here?"

With malicious spite, my mind showed me half a dozen fatal possibilities.