The Number of the Beast

XLVII

"There are no tomorrows."

Zeb:

Sharpie shouldn't have done it to Lazarus. For a veteran of sixteen wars and Koshchei alone knows how many skirmishes and narrow escapes to be

placed in a position where he is so shocked that blood drains from his head and he collapses "ain't fitten."

Deety agrees but asks me if I could have refrained from staging Mama Maureen's return that way, given the chance? Well, no, had I Sharpie's imagination-but it still would not have been "fitten."

Not that he was hurt by it. Sharpie, all forty-three kilos of her, checked his fall. She was watching Lazarus, saw him start to collapse, closed the gap and grabbed him around the waist, did her best.

Sharpie saved him from hitting his head on the wardroom table. I would bet long odds that everyone was looking at Maureen except Sharpie. Sharpie had staged it-and the producer was interested in the effect on the one for whom it had been staged.

She had staged it even to the extent of getting Libby to ask Ishtar to obtain costume-shoes, hose, and round green garters to match a photograph, plus a hooded cape to keep our ubiquitous snoop Dora from knowing that we had an extra aboard. Sharpie had figured this way: that "French photo" snapshot of Mama Maureen (yeah, I call her that too-she's the most motherly person in any world... and the sexiest. Don't mention the last to Deety) (Deety knows it- !)ee/y)-that snapshot was still in existence unless destroyed by machinegun fire in 1918, Earth-Prime.

Which it would not be... because Lazarus "got his arse shot off" as his sisters describe it. Not literally true, it was a belly wound more than bullets in his arse that came that close to finishing him. But all the wounds were low.

Where does a man in combat carry his most cherished possessions? In a breast pocket, usually the left one. I always have and I've never heard a veteran deny this.

It might be worth it to faint in order to wake up surrounded by Maureen, Hilda, Laz-Lor, Elizabeth, and my own reason for being. Jake and I could have played several hands of gin before anyone bothered with us. So I asked Dora for drinks and snacks for Jake and me, as it seemed uncertain as to when dinner would be served. Or if.

I heard Sharpie say, "Maureen, we must get this heavy uniform off him. Dora keeps this ship tropical. I should never have ordered uniforms for men while we women are comfortable." They started peeling him.

I said, "Jake, school's out." I had sweated through my number-one uniform- might never wear it again but I'm sentimental about it. Jake was in as bad shape. Once you get happy with skin any clothes make you feel like Rameses

II.

We peeled down and handed our clothes and swords to one of Dora's waldoes and told her to hand them to Gay-including Jake's pistol, belt, and holster, which I retrieved without anyone noticing me. Jake and I were Chinese stage hands; "Corporal Ted Bronson" was getting all the attention.

Dora pointed out that Gay was locked. I said, "If one of her doors were open, could you lay this gear on a seat?" Yes, she could. "Then do it," I said. "Let me talk to Gay."

We eventually had dinner, with everybody "formal" but Maureen. She retained her "casual" clothing long after everyone else was in formal skin. But not until I got pix of the Four Disgraces. Libby and Deety wanted to go shower, too, when Jake and I decided that, having discarded uniforms, we should shower in fairness to Dora's airconditioning. I asked them and Laz-Lor please to wait until I staggered down (we had encountered a force-four sea, with white caps) to Gay for Jake's Polaroid.

Turned out not to be necessary; Dora could take color and 3-D, still or motion, any angle, and light as needed, just as she had lighted the posing (which she had photographed, too, I learned later).

Maureen and Jake directed while "Corporal Bronson" and I sprawled Nerostyle on lounges intended for Lib and Deety. Sharpie sat between us and dropped grapes into our mouths.

Jake tried to make the poses "artistic." Mama Maureen agreed with everything Jake said, then did it her way. The results may have been artistic. But I know that those pix would give a skeleton one last case of raging tumescence.

Meanwhile Dora was singing and playing, urging us to eat-tasty tidbits eaten with tongs; I was reminded of the best in Oriental cuisines-and plying us with fine wines. Dora seemed to have a vast repertoire, some of which (to my surprise) was familiar. When Judy Garland sings Over the Rainbow, who

can miss it?-Dora used Judy's voice. I recall, too, Enjoy Yourself; It's Later Than You Think. Most of them I did not know.

Dora announced Tomorrow's Song-I thought that was what she said. Lazarus and Maureen held hands all through it and it was not a song that would fit the title I thought I had heard. I got straightened out when the song ended to dead silence and Maureen said to Lazarus, "Theodcrre, Ishtar was going to rearrange the watch list but Tamara vetoed it. She did it for you, dear man, and for me-but Tamara is anxious to see you."

"Tamara always knows what she's doing," Lazarus answered.

"Yes, Tammy always knows what is best," agreed Mama Maureen. "Tell me, Theodore, do I still make you think of her?"

Lazarus looked upset. "Uh, I don't know. You don't look like her....ut you feel like her. And you look more like Nancy than you look like yourself."

"Yes, I know. None of our family was willing to wait; you've been away from home too long. Be patient, and when I look like me to your eyes, tell us, and Galahad will hold my cosmetic age at that. Are you going to do as you promised me, so long ago, take Tammy and me to bed together? Perhaps I should add, Theodore, I am now wife to your co-husbands. I don't ask that you marry me. Although I think Tammy will be shocked if you don't. But I shan't make it difficult, either way. I will hold to any pretence you wish. I did for Brian; I shall for you."

Maureen was neither shouting nor whispering; she was simply bringing him up to date on things he needed to know. Lazarus started to answer, his expression oddly mixed, when Elizabeth cut in: "Lazarus-"

"Eh? What, Lib?"

"Message to you from Ishtar. To be delivered when needed, and now is the time. Ish read both your charts with her computer set for maximum pessimism. She also had them read at New Rome without identification other than her own file numbers. She has this message for you....n answer to the answer you will make. She says to tell you that you are an uncivilized primitive, ignorant of science, especially genetics, oversentimental, almost pathologically stubborn, retarded, probably senile, superstitious, and provincial....nd that she loves you dearly but will not permit you to make decisions in her area of authority. In vitro or in utero, the cross will take place. Let me add that Maureen was not given a choice, either."

"So? You can tell the big-arsed bitch that I agree with every word she says, especially the part about 'senile,' and that I gave up all hope of arguing with her tyrannical ways fifty years ago and that I love her just as dearly-outside her clinic-and that Maureen will tell her how such things will be handled; I don't have a vote." He turned toward me, looking past Sharpie's pretty toes. "Zeb, here is the wisdom of the ages: Men rule but women decide."

"Elizabeth, do you think I am anything like Tamara?"

"Mmm- Never thought about it. Yes, you both have that all-mother feeling. Uh, would you mind taking off costume? It distracts me from looking at you."

"No trouble, Elizabeth. I don't like round garters except as advertising."

Mama Maureen kicked off her shoes, took off the garters, carefully rolled down her hose in a manner interuniversal-stood up and stood easily, not posing.

"Turn around slowly. Mmm- Maureen, you do look like Tammy... or vice versa; it's probably your genes in her. Am I descended from you? Does anyone here know? Lazarus?"

"You are, Lib. But not through me. Through my sister Carol. 'Santa Carolita' believe it or not-which would surprise Carol as she was no saint. But your descent through Carol was not proved until long after you were killed, when the Families' records were being revised through computer analysis and a deeper knowledge of genes. No saints in our family, are there, Mama?"

"None that I know of, Woodrow. Not me, certainly. You were a little hellion; I should have spanked you much oftener than I did. Mmm... your father was as close to being a saint as any in our family. Brian was wise and good-and tolerant." She smiled. "Do you recall why we separated?"

"I'm not sure I ever knew. Mama, my recollections of that era are much sharper for my trip there as 'Ted Bronson'-the other is a long time back."

"In my sixties I stopped having babies. About the same time your brother Richard was killed. War. His wife, Marian Justin of the Hardy family, was with us, with their children, and Brian was back in uniform, a recalled colonel, on a desk job in San Francisco. When Richard was killed in 1945 we all took it hard but it was easier in that so many of us were together-Brian, and my youngest children, and Marian, and her children-five; she was thirty-one."

Mama Maureen, free of stockings and shoes, sat in lotus across from Hilda and accepted a plate from Dora's helpers. "Woodrow, I encouraged Brian to console Marian the only way a widow can be helped; she needed it. When that war was over, Marian needed a visible husband; her waistband and the calendar could not be reconciled. When we moved from San Francisco later that year, it was easy for Marian Justin Smith to become Maureen J. Smith while I became, with the aid of hair dye, her widowed mother-no one knew us in Amarillo and females were not yet compelled to have I.D.'s. So Marian had the baby as "Maureen," and only with the Howard Families Trustees was the correct genealogy recorded." Maureen smiled. "We Howards were easy about such things as long as it was kept inside the Families-and I am happy that we are even easfer about it now.

"On our next move I moved out and became Maureen Johnson again, fifteen years younger since I did not look late seventies, and a Meen-ah-sotah Yonson, Woodrow, rather than a southern Missouri Johnson. A grass widow with round heels." Mama Maureen chuckled. "Howards married only to have babies. My production line had shut down but the equipment was there and the urge. By the time you darlings"-Maureen's eyes swept the wardroom-"rescued me, I had trimmed thirty-five years from my age and added thirty-five men to my memories. In fact, when you picked me up, I was on my way to a motel rendezvous, a widower of sixty who was willing to believe that I was sixty when in fact I expected to reach my Century Day in a fortnight."

I said, "What a dirty shame! I wish you had been coming back from the motel when we picked you up."

"Zebadiah, that's sweet of you but it's not a shame. We were getting bored with each other. I'm sure he read my obituary with as much relief as grief. I'm just glad you got me-and I'm told that you did most of it."

"Gay Deceiver did most of it. The car you rode in both ways. But we almost didn't pick you up. Things went wrong, badly. I knew that it was going to- Deety, can you tell her?"

"Mama Maureen, Zebadiah has forerunners of dangers. They are not long range; they are always just barely in time. I don't know what happened this morning but-"

"This morning?" Maureen looked extremely puzzled.

"Oh." My wife went on, "It was 'this morning' to us. You arrived here at eighteen-forty and a few seconds, ship's time. During that instant we spent fifteen hours on another planet, we made two trips to your native planet, two more trips to your new home planet, and you spent seventeen months on Tertius and we brought you back here-and it all happened today. Not just today but at that exact instant: eighteen-forty and thirteen point three seconds. Laz and Lor didn't know that we were gone; even the ship's computer didn't know we were gone."

"I did so!" Dora objected. "Gay was di~connected for nineteen microseconds. You think I don't notice a gap like that? I asked what happened and she told me that it was a power fluctuation. She fibbed to me! I'm sore at her."

Deety looked thunderstruck. "Dorable, Dorable! It wasn't Gay's fault. I asked her to keep our secrets. I made her promise."

"Mean!"

"I didn't mean to be mean to you, Dorable-and we did let you in on it as quickly a~ we could. We couldn't have staged the tableaux if you hadn't helped. Be angry with me if you must... but don't be angry with Gay. Please kiss and make up."

I don't know how computers hesitate, but I think I caught the briefest split second. "Gay?"

"Yes, Dora?"-the Smart Girl's voice through Dora's speakers.

"I don't want to be mad. Let's forget it, huh? Let's kiss and make up. I will if you will."

"Yes, yes! Oh, Dorable, I do love you."

"You're both good girls," said Deety. "But you are both professional women, too, and work for different bosses. Dora, you are loyal to your family; Gay is loyal to her family. It has to be that way. Dora, if your sister, Captain Lor, asked you to keep a secret, you wouldn't tell Gay, would you? Because she might tell me... and I would tell Zebadiah....nd then the whole world would know."

(Would, huh? My dear wife, I had a clearance two stages above "Q"-so secret it does not have a name. Never mind, I'll take the rap.)

(Yes, I know, my husband, I once held the same level of clearance. But dealing with balky computers is my profession. Computers are supergeniuslevel children and must be dealt with on their own level. Okay, maybe, huh?-

"Gosh!"

"You see? Captain Lor, does Dora have any secrets of yours? Or of your brother's? She can tell them to Gay and Gay can tell them to me and I always tell everything to my husband and-"

Lazarus interrupted. "Dora! You tell tales out of school and I'll beat your ears off with an ax! It's all right for you two to chum together and play games. But you start swapping secrets and I'll call in Minsky's Metal Mentalities, Incorporated, to measure that space."

"Male computers. You can't scare me, 01' Buddy Boy, you wouldn't trust your dirty neck to a male computer. Stupid."

"My neck isn't dirty; that's just where the collar of my uniform rubbed it."

"Dirty neck and a dirty mind. But don't worry, 01' Buddy Boy; Dora Long doesn't tell secrets. I now see that Gay had to keep secrets, too-I just hadn't thought about it. But you were mean to my sisters."

"Me? How?"

"You knew about this caper; you didn't need to get it from Gay. You knew all about it; you were there. But you held out on your own twin sisters-"

"Most unfairly, Mama Maureen-"

"-as if we were untrustworthy, and if we're-"

"-untrustworthy, why can we be trusted with a ship and-"

"-the lives of everyone on board? We're glad you are here-"

"-for yourself, but maybe now that you are here, you will-"

"-protect us from his tyranny. Mama Ishtar doesn't, and Mama Hamadryad just laughs at us, and Mama Minerva takes his-"

"-side, everytime. But you-"

"Girls."

"Yes, Mama?"

"I made a promise to myself years ago that when my children grew up, I would not interfere in their lives. I should have punished Woodie more frequently when he was a child, but he is no longer a child-"

"Then why does he act like one?"

"Lorelei Lee! It is rude to interrupt."

"I'm sorry, Mama."

"No harm done. But from what I was told at home, you two are not only my daughters but are also Theodore's wives. Wives of Lazarus. And equally wives of his co-husbands. Is this not true?"

"Yes, Mama. But he's pretty chinchy about it."

"If you mean 'chinchy in bed,' it may depend on how you treat him. I did not find him so, when I was his mistress, many years ago-centuries ago by some odd scale that I do not understand. You heard me say that I am now wife to your co-husbands-including Lazarus if he will accept' me. But I am certainly, if you will accept me, sister-wife with you two. So I had better stop being your mother. Nay?"

"Why? Grammy Tammy is mother to Ish and everybody-"

"-and we have three mamas in our family now and everyone of them is our-"

"-sister-wife, too; Ish and Hamadarling and Minerva and now-"

"-we have Mama Maureen and we are both delighted that we are your sister-wives but-"

"-you can't get out of being our mama because we've been waiting for you

all our lives!" -

Dora echoed: "And I'm their sister so you are my mama, too!"

"Theodore, I think I am going to cry. You know my rule. I mayn't weep in front of my children."

I stood up, the whole gangling length of me. "Ma'am, I'd be honored to take you to some quiet place where you could cry on me all you please."

Seven-I think it was seven protein types and two computers-jumped on me. The essence was: "You can't take Maureen away from her own party!"- with ugly overtones of lynching.

The wind had freshened to force six, so I took liberal doses of champagne to insure against seasickness. After a bit I napped; it had been a busy day and I still was not over the shock of seeing a large freighter roadable about to take Gay's door off before I could close it and bounce. That was when I kicked the cop in the stomach. Ordinarily I don't kick cops; it makes one conspicuous.

Then a piercing voice was saying: "Flag Chief of Staff Carter's presence on the bridge is requested by the Commodore," and I wondered why the silly son of a bitch didn't comply, so that the noise would stop. Then something cold was poking my tender bare ribs. "That's you, Doc. I'll help you. Relax."

I was relaxed. Past tense. Some of Dora's waldoes aren't too gentle-or maybe these weren't people waldoes but for cargo; I admit that I'm fairly large for a growing boy.

In the lift I decided that the Beaufort scale was at least eight, more likely nine. Nevertheless we got to the bridge. Right out of Hollywood, a whole dome of displays and clocks-all moving slowly widdershins. Yet Gay made do with just an instrument board. I heard Sharpie say, "My God, look at him!"

Deety was saying something about we can shift seats if necessary to Lor while Laz was saying Drink this.

I said firmly, "I do not drink. Beshides I been dring; yr fashe is all blurry."

It must have been Laz and Lor who pinned me from both sides, each with an arm lock and a nerve pinch; Deety wouldn't do that to me.

Sharpie was holding my nose and Laz was pouring it down my throat; it fumed and bubbled. Then- Well, there must have been a stowaway; Deety wouldn't do that. Not to me.

They let go of me when I finished swallowing. I left the ship, made a fast inspection circuit, checked the Milky Way, and returned to a precision grounding. My ears fell off but it didn't seem military to stoop over and pick them up. Besides, Sharpie is playful.

"Flag Chief of Staff reports to the Commodore as ordered."

"How do you feel, Zebbie?"

"I feel fine, Ma'am. Is there any reason why I shouldn't?"

"I suppose not; you've had a nap."

"I did drop off. Dreamt I was in the Tasmanian Sea in a small vessel. Very

uneasy body of water." I added, "Aside from that nightmare, now gone, I'm in top shape. Orders, Ma'am?"

We gave everybody the two-dollar tour, including the bathrooms in the Land of Oz. Libby, Deety, and Jake waited outside, the place being crowded. Sharpie ruled that Laz could relieve Lor to allow Lor to look first, then Lor took back the captaincy so that her sister could see. The fairyland bathrooms made the biggest hit. I concede that the time-space twister is not impressive. Then the twins thanked Hilda and left.

"Attention, please," said Hilda. "If you wish, we will show how we operate. Lazarus may use the astrogator's seat while Deety makes responses from the cargo space. Elizabeth will go back there, too, as she has ridden in Gay Deceiver. Deety, before you move aft, show Maureen and Lazarus how we squeeze a passenger into the rear seats; I'll scootch over.

"This car operates in several modes. As a roadable it is fast, comfortable, easy to handle, rather hard to park, and is usually parked with wings raked back as they are now, the hypersonic configuration. If we intended to drive it in the air, the wings would usually be extended for maximum lift. When operated by the Burroughs Continua Device, wing rake does not matter, but the chief pilot may choose to anticipate where he will arrive and rake accordingly.

"Since it has a computerized autopilot-Hello, Gay!"

"Hello, Hilda, mind if I listen?"

"Not at all, dear. Have you met everyone?"

"Yes, Hilda, and, since I've seen them through Dora's eyes, I place all of them by their voices." Gay added, "Dora is listening through me; she's going to record your demonstration. Is that all right?"

"Certainly. Dora, since you are recording, I'll make it as realistic as possible. Gay Deceiver. Close doors. Execute." I was at chief pilot, Jake at copilot; his door closed, I started checking the seal on mine.

"All hands, prepare for space. Copilot."

"Verniers zero, starboard door seal checked, seat belt fastened."

"Report incomplete. Is your belt fastened tightly? Maximum accelerations? Friends, this car is powered to engage as a fighter; the driver may find himself upside down. Full demonstration, please, Jacob. Cinch it in."

"Copilot reports seat belt tight for maneuvers."

"Thank you, Jacob. Chief Pilot."

I answered in my best cadet-boning-smart voice: "Portside door seal checked. Power pack on line point-eight-nine, two packs reserve at one-point-oh, juice at capacity, all systems go, seat belt cinched tight for max gee maneuvers."

"Astrogator."

"I'm not in my proper seat. Lib and I are fastened down like Siamese twins, tight. No loose gear. Annex checked and secure; all doors locked 'cept bulkhead door is dogged open, contrary to routine. Captain, you could dog us in; we don't mind."

"Not like somebody I won't mention who loses his temper over being locked in for five minutes-"

"Hilda, that was a low blow!"

"Passenger, pipe down. If you had done as you promised, you would not have known that the door was locked. I didn't trust you-and I was right. I am not sure that I want to be your junior or second junior or whatever wife; you don't keep your promises. I'm sorry, Mama Maureen, but Woodie is sometimes a very naughty boy."

"I'm aware of it, Hilda. Captain. Please slap him down as necessary. I was always too fond of him and spoiled him."

"We won't speak of it now. All four of us are qualified in all four positions; we sometimes rotate to maintain our skills. Normal T.O. is myself commanding, Zebbie as second-in-command and astrogator, Jacob as chief pilot, Deety as copilot. But for this exhibition I have placed the finest manual pilot at the overrides, the inventor himself at the continua device, and a lightning calculator equal to Slipstick Libby-"

"Better!"

"Pipe down, Elizabeth. -as my astrogator. With such a crew, command cannot worry me. Chief Pilot, please unbelt and check that Mama Maureen and Lazarus are safely belted. Assume violent evasive maneuvers-and believe me, friends, we use them and are alive today because we were properly belted and because Zebbie is a lightning aerospace fighter pilot-and our Gay is a Smart Girl."

I unbelted, made sure that Lazarus was belted tightly, made certain that Maureen was safe with those improvised belts, then suggested that she put her right arm around Hilda, her left around Lazarus, and hold tight. "All the others have double belts, lap and chest. You have just a lap belt; if I turned the car upside down, holding onto Hilda and Lazarus would keep you safe. Right, Lazarus?"

"Right, Zeb. Mama Maureen, a drill should be as near as possible to the real thing or it won't save your life in combat."

"Theodore, I don't ever expect to be in combat. But I will do the drill properly."

"Mama, I hate the idea of women in combat. But all through the centuries I have seen women in combat again and again, all too often as regular troops. I don't like it. But there it is."

My wife put in a plug for Lazarus. "Mama Maureen, my Pop has required me to learn every weapon I can lift and he had me trained in every type of dirty fighting imaginable. Several times it has saved me from a mugging. Once I almost killed a man twice my size-with my bare hands."

"Jacob, will you teach me as much of what Deety knows as I am capable of learning?"

"Maureen, I'll teach you what I can. While we're here."

From the back I heard Libby's voice: "Now, Maureen?"

"Yes. If you think it wise in view of Hilda's black ball."

"I'm going to chance it. Friends, I was not sent to get myself pregnant by a great mathematician. That was my reason. By now Tamara has reports from me and from Laz and from Lor on each of you. Twelve 'Yes' votes, zero 'No'

votes. I am directed by Tamara to offer you four fullest hospitality-such as you gave us in your home. If you decide to accept the name Long, tell Tamara. We won't crowd you, either way."

Hilda immediately answered, "Because of delays, a short roll call for space. Copilot."

"Copilot ready."

"Chief Pilot ready," I echoed.

"Astrogator ready."

"Passengers? By seniority."

Lazarus started to reply; Hilda interrupted him. " By seniority!"

"If you mean me, Captain, I'm ready."

"You are, I believe, thirty years older than your son. In any case you are senior to him. Junior passenger?"

"That's me," answered Elizabeth. "Ready."

"Forgot you, dear-apologies. Woodie!"

"Ready for space, Captain, you feisty, narrow little broad. And you're damn well going to marry us!"

"Astrogator, log that. Insolence. Gay Deceiver."

"Ready, Captain honey."

"TertiusOrbitExecute!"

Maureen gasped. Lazarus snorted. "Farced us!"

"In what way? You reported, 'Ready for space."

"And you called it a 'drill."

"Woodie, I will bet anything you care to name that I did not call it a 'drill'- you did. Both Gay and Dora recorded. Put up or shut up. In the meantime, on the back of the seat ahead of you is a small medical kit. Find a pill bottle marked 'Bonine.' Small ~ink pills. Give one to your mother. Maureen, chew it, swallow it. Tastes like raspberry candy."

"Hilda, what are you feeding-"

"Pipe down! Or do you prefer to be locked in the bathroom again? Passenger, I do not tolerate insubordination. Haven't you learned that by now?"

Lazarus got out the pill, gave it to his mother. She accepted it and ate it without comment.

"Lazarus, I can offer you a front-seat view if you will swear by whatever it is that you hold holy that you will not touch one control of any sort even to avoid a crash. You don't understand this craft and would cause a crash if you tried to avoid one. If you can't convince' me, I'll give Maureen the front seat. But I don't think Maureen is interested in learning to drive this car and I think you are."

"That's right, Hilda," I heard Maureen agree. "I'm studying to be a nurse. Then a medical doctor. Then a rejuvenator. Or as far along that route as my ability will carry me. In the meantime I'm pregnant. Isn't that a joke, Theodore? Everytime you and I meet with maximum opportunity, I'm pregnant. And this time Woodie can't spoil it." She chuckled a warm chuckle. "I owe you one, Staff Sergeant Bronson. Can we find a black walnut tree?"

"Lazarus, do you want a front seat? Or do you want to take Maureen into

the annex and give her what she so clearly wants?"

"Oh, I can wait!" Maureen said quickly.

"God, what a decision! Maureen, a short rain check? I really do want to see what this craft will do."

"I want to see the ride, too, Theodore. But I would not refuse you."

"Pipe down, please. Jacob, will you change places with Lazarus? Each report when your seat belts will stand evasive maneuvers."

"Seven gee," I added. "Lazarus, Ack-Ack?"

"Not yet, thank God. I'm wondering how soon we'll need it. And what sort? I'm stumped. Seat belt tight. Hey, we're passing over Boondock!"

"So we are," I agreed.

"Seat belt tight. Maureen, too."

"Chief Pilot, you have the conn. Maneuver at will."

"Aye aye, Captain," I agreed. "Gay Deceiver Clinic Execute Gay Bounce Gay Bounce. Show your heels, girl! Mach point seven point nine....ne point two... Mach two... three... four....weep right, set course for Boondock. Dive, Smart Girl. Mach five....ix... seven-"

"Oh, my God!"-Lazarus.

"GayBounce. Trouble, Lazarus? Smart Girl, spread your wings."

"You almost crashed us."

"Oh, I think not. Gay Deceiver Clinic Execute Gay Bounce."

"They were waiting for us on the roof!"

"Who? How? Do you have some sort of cee-squared radio?" I added, "Gay Bounce. Smart Girl, do you want to dance? Gay dances beautifully, knows several. Want to pick one, Gay?"

"Dora taught me the 'Nutcracker' suite and I've been figuring out one for the 'Sugarplum Fairy.' But I don't think I'm ready to show it yet."

"Give them 'Blue Danube."

"That old thing?"

"You do it well. Give them a few bars."

Smart Girl just wants to be coaxed. She swooped and she swirled and once bounced herself for altitude without breaking her dance. Meanwhile I got the frequency and asked Libby to talk to Ishtar's office. "Alternate route, Lib"- which was all it took for Deety to close the bulkhead door... which left Strauss waltz music in the cabin, and a truly private radio conversation in the after compartment.

When Deety opened the bulkhead door again, I waited for her to report strapped down. "Got a number for me, Astrogator?" We had agreed on a simple code: fifty-seven was fifty-seven seconds but five-seven meant fifty-seven minutes.

"No, Zebadiah. Zero. Now."

"Okay. Lazarus, can you pick out your house in Boondock?"

"Certainly. But we've been moving away from there steadily." "GayDeceiverClinicExecuteGayBounce. Now where, Lazarus?" "Practically under us. Can't see it." So I tilted my baby straight down. "Can you coach me?"

"Yes, it's- Hey! There's a ship in Dora's parking spot! What nerve! I'm going to give somebody a bad time. It's irrelevant that Dora is a long way off, that's my parking flat. See that round ship? Interloper! My house is the largish one with the double atrium north of it."

"All right for me to park by the interloper?"

"All right but not room enough to get in."

"We'll try. Close your eyes." I steadied vertically on the spot Lib had told them to clear. "Gunsighted, girl?"

"Nailed it, Boss."

"New program code word 'Maureen' I tell you three times."

"I hear you three times." We were getting low.

"MaureenExecute!

"You're a Smart Girl, Gay. Open your doors."

She opened them but answered, "If I'm smart, why wasn't I invited, too? It's Dora Long and Athene Long-am I a second-class citizen?"

I was left with my mouth open. And was saved by two darlings. Libby said, "Gay, we didn't know you cared," and Deety said, "Gay, either we both join or neither joins. A promise."

I said hastily, "Goodnight, Gay. Over." People were pouring toward us. Gay answered, "Sleepy time. Roger and out," just as Laz and Lor arrived in the van, trotting ahead.

Lazarus stopped unbelting. "Hey! It is the Dora!"

"Of course it is, Buddy Boy. What did you expect?" (Lor, I think.)

"But how did you beat us here? I know what that ship can do; I did her basic design myself."

"Buddy Boy, we got here three weeks ago. You just don't understand time travel."

"Mmm- I guess I don't."

There was a limited amount of car viewing, as Tamara and Ishtar had limited the greeting committee to a handful of the most senior-not in age but senior in that family. So we met Ish again, no longer pregnant, a young man named Galahad, the incredible Tamara who is Maureen over again but does not look like her (except that she does, and don't ask me to explain), and a beauty who would make Helen of Troy jealous but doesn't seem to know she is beautiful, the Hamadryad. Lazarus seemed annoyed that someone named Ira was not at home.

Momentarily we (my wife Deety and I) were left talking with the twins. "I promised you both joy rides. Get in."

"Oh, but we can't now because-"

"-there's going to be a celebration for you-"

"-four and we'll be busy! Tomorrow?"

"There are no tomorrows. Pipe down, climb in, fasten seat belts. Pronto!"

They prontoed.

"Nail the time," I said quietly to Deety, as we strapped down. "Gay Deceiver, Reveille." She played it. "Close doors."

"Starboard seal checked."

"Same here. GayBounceGayBounceGayBounce. Tumbling Pigeon, execute. Laz-Lor, can you spot your house from this distance? About thirty kilometers and closing."

"I'm not sure"-"I think I can."

"Gay Clinic Execute. Now you know where you are?"

"Yes, it's-"

"GayTermite."

"Oh!!"

"We lived here a while. No annex then, had to have an armed guard just to pee. Even me. Pretty place but dangerous. GayHome." I tilted her nose down. "And this was our perma- Deety!"

"No crater, Zebadiah. Looks the way it did when Pop and I leased it. This is spooky."

"Twins, something is wrong; I've got to check. GayTermite."

We were back on Termite Terrace. I practiced Yoga breathing while Deety explained that the missing-crater place had been the site of our former home- but couldn't be. I added, "Look, dears-we can't drop this. But we can take you to Boondock at once. Do you want to go home?"

The same silent consultation. "We're sticking-"

"-our brother would stick. We stick."

"Thanks. Here we go. Gay Home GayBounce." Still no crater. I told Gay to go into cruising mode. "Display map, Gay. Change scale. I want Snug Harbor and the campus on the same display. Deety, figure shortest distance here to campus. Mine, not yours at Logan."

"Don't need to. Eight-five-six klicks,"

"Gay?"

"Don't argue with Deety, Boss."

"Head for campus, Gay. Transit, Deety."

"Set!"

"Execute." Then I was busy, having popped into city traffic at wrong altitude, direction, et cetera. I ignored police signals, zoomed the campus. Looked normal. Turned and hovered over Sharpie's house-which was not there. Different house. Parking lot no longer paved. And you don't grow 200-year-old live oaks in less than seven weeks.

Not a sound out of the back seat. Nor from my right. I had to force myself to look to my right.

Deety was still there and I let out my breath. She was treating it as she did all crises: No expression and nothing to say until she had something to say other than chatter. A sky cop was trying to give me a bad time, with orders to follow him and ground, so I told Gay to bounce, then dived on my own neighborhood. No trouble picking it out-intersections and nearby shopping center all familiar as well as the Presbyterian church across the way from my apartment house.

But it wasn't my apartment house; this one was three stories and built around a court.

I had Gay bounce four times quickly. "Deety, do you want to look at Logan?"

"No, Zebadiah. I know Aunt Hilda's neighborhood well enough to be certain. Not her house, her pool was missing, and the parking lot where our Buick was destroyed is now a park with big trees. I assume that you know your former home as well or better."

"Shall we ground and add another World Almanac to our collection?"

"If you wish. Not for me."

"Hardly worth the trouble. Tell me-how does it feel to be erased? X-ed out? Blue-penciled? Written out of the plot?"

'~I don't feel it, because I'm not. I'm real, I am!"

I glanced behind us. Yes, Laz and Lor were there keeping quiet. "Gay B'gout!"

It certainly looked like our piece of"dead sea bottom." I couldn't see anything of the wreckage of Colonel Morinosky's ornithopter. Unless there had been a real gully washer-which I did not believe-something had come along and cleaned up every bit of burned junk.

An eraser?

I Bounced Gay and had her start a retreating search curve, thought I saw a gleam to the northeast, Bounced again. A city. It was only a few moments until I saw twin towers. We cruised toward them. "Deety, do you suppose that the other Dejah Thoris is at home?"

"Zebadiah, I have no wish to find out. But I would like to go close enough to be sure that those are the twin towers of Helium. Perhaps see a thoat. Or a green man. Something."

We let it go with one thoat, of the smaller sort. The description was exact. "Gay Parade Ground."

"Null program."

"Hmm- Gay, you have in your perms a map of Mars-ten showing the English and the Russian areas. Display."

"Null program."

"Gay Termite." Termite Terrace was still in place.

"Gay Deceiver. Maureen. Execute. Open your doors." Hamadryad had started to turn toward us as we closed the doors to leave; she was still turning as we opened them.

I unbuckled, saying: "You two all right back there?"

"Yes, Zeb and Deety, and we thank you both but-"

"-is this something we can tell or-"

"-should we keep it Top Cut-Our-Throats-First Secret?"

"Laz-Lor, I don't think it matters. You aren't likely to be believed." Mama Hamadryad stopped at my door, smiled at all of us, and said, "May I show you to your suite in your home? The suite Tamara picked; you may change it. With our new north wing we have loads of room. Girls, there will be a happy welcome tonight. Formal."

I found that I was not upset by "erasures." We were home.