The Firebrand

CHAPTER 22

The day after Chryseis had been returned to Troy, Kassandra was summoned to dine with her parents at the palace; she supposed that Priam wished to hear how the parley had gone. Priam and Hecuba dined in private tonight, rather than with all the household; besides the King and Queen there were Creusa and Aeneas, Hector and Andromache, with their little son, and Helen and Paris with her four children. Nikos was a year or two older than Hector's son, a handsome boy; the twins were running around but were no particular trouble as each had his own nurse who kept him under reasonable control.

It seemed to Kassandra strange that the years of war had made but little change in the palace dining-room. The paintings on the walls were a little faded and cracked; she supposed that the palace servants who might have been repainting them had other duties, if they were not among the army. There was a liberal quantity of many kinds of food: roast kid, fresh fish (although indeed there was not much of this). Andromache told her that the Akhaians spent much of their time in fishing, and had dirtied the harbor so that the finest fish stayed further out at sea; and no one could be spared to go out with the fishing boats through the barricade of the Akhaian soldiers.

"And when they do," she added,"the Akhaians draw the boat on to shore and take most of the best fish."

But there was an abundance of fruits and barley bread and honey; and wine from the grapes culled from the vines that grew as plentifully as weeds all through the city.

Priam insisted that Kassandra should repeat every word exchanged in the negotiations. He shook his head angrily when he heard of Agamemnon's arrogance and said, "I have seen no more plague victims in the Argive camp; and may the Gods grant there come none to our city. So the girl is safely back among us; what will her father do with her now?"

"I do not know; I have not asked him," Kassandra said, thinking, Nor do I have any intention of doing so and nor do I care.

"I suppose," she said, "he will find her a husband with the dowry the Akhaians gave. They seemed eager to placate the Sun-lord. And after the plague who can blame them?"

"I suppose none of the Akhaian leaders died in the plague?"

"None that I know about," said Aeneas. "Certainly neither Agamemnon nor Akhilles suffered; but they came almost to blows as soon as Chryseis left the camp; and at the end Agamemnon stalked off to his tent and Akhilles to his; it seems there was a quarrel—"

"There was," Kassandra repeated, and told them how Agamemnon had insisted that if his woman was taken from him, he would be repaid with Briseis; and what Akhilles had said to this.

"That explains what I saw later, though of course I did not know what it meant," Aeneas said. "A few of Agamemnon's soldiers went to Akhilles's tent, and there was some sort of fight between them and Akhilles's men; then Odysseus came and talked with them all for a long time. After that, Akhilles's soldiers were tearing down banners and decorations; it looked as if they were packing to go home."

"May that be what the Gods will," said Hector. "Agamemnon is an honorable enemy; Akhilles is mad. I prefer to fight sane men."

Kassandra had her namesake, Creusa's daughter, in her lap. She said, "I do not think any man who would fight in this war is sane."

"We all know what you think, Kassandra," said Hector, "and we are tired of hearing it."

"Hector, do you truly think we can win this war? If the Gods are angry with Troy—"

"I have seen no signs of their anger," said Hector. "Now it seems that the Sunlord at least is angry with the Akhaians; with Akhilles gone, I have no fear of the rest of them. We will fight them and win honorably, and then we will make a truce and live at peace with them - if we are fortunate, for the rest of our lives."

And what will happen to us?" asked Paris. He was sitting beside Helen, who was feeding one of the twins mashed fruit with a bone spoon; she looked quiet and peaceful; lovely, Kassandra thought, but without any trace of the uncanny beauty she had shown when she was inhabited by Aphrodite.

"If peace comes to us," Andromache said,"there will be peace for you as well, and you may make such lives for yourselves and your children as you desire."

"It will be a dull world without war," Hector said, yawning. Paris disagreed. "I have already had as much war as I care to see. There must be better things to do with a life."

"You sound like our sister," Hector said. "But peace will come, like it or not; if all else fails, there's peace in the grave, and an end to all fighting and talk of honor."

Kassandra said wryly, "It sounds like a heaven specially designed by Akhilles's God!"

"No heaven for me then," Paris said. "Enough to fight here; I don't intend to spend the afterlife doing it."

"You mean you wouldn't choose to spend the afterlife doing it," Hector remarked. "I'm not sure we will be given our choice."

At this moment there was a loud outcry; the children had been playing at the far end of the hall, and there were whacking sounds from wooden swords and loud childish shrieks; Hector and Paris saw that little Astyanax and Helen's son Nikos were sprawled on the floor, struggling and punching at each other, both shouting incoherently, their faces red and tear-stained.

Helen and Andromache each ran to reclaim their child, and when they returned, each with a wailing small boy under her arm, Hector gestured to the women to set the boys down.

"Here, here, lads, what's all this? Isn't there enough war outside the gates, must we have it at suppertime too? Astyanax, Nikos is our guest in Troy; a guest deserves our hospitality. Besides, he is smaller than you. Why do you beat him?"

"Because he is a coward like his father," Astyanax scowled, digging his fists in his eye.

Nikos kicked out at his shins, and Astyanax muttered, "Well, you said it, father."

Hector struggled to keep his face straight. "No, Astyanax; I said that his father Menelaus was an honorable enemy; Paris is not his father, you know. And besides—" he interrupted as both boys began yelling at once, "whoever said what, there is always a truce at dinnertime. If Agamemnon himself came to this table, it would be my duty as an honorable man to feed him if he was hungry; the first duty we owe the Gods is hospitality. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir," muttered Astyanax, and Hector turned to Helen.

"Lady, I beg you to keep your son in order at dinnertime, out of respect to my father and mother, or send him away with his nurse," he commanded.

"I will try," she murmured. Paris looked like a thundercloud, but he did not venture to contradict Hector; no one did, these days.

Kassandra applied herself to the honeyed fruits which had appeared in her dish at the end of the meal, and asked Priam, "Has there been any sign that my mother's waiting-women can be exchanged or returned?"

"Not yet," Priam growled. "That damned priest's daughter - a plague on her - for all Apollo took her part," he added with a pious gesture, "has brought all other negotiations to a stop so sudden that if it were a chariot we'd all be head over heels in the road! When we can, we'll try again, but just now I'm afraid there's no hope."

Creusa rose, cradling her child in her arms. "I must take the little one to bed," she announced to the company at large. "Helen, will you accompany me?"

Kassandra rose too.

"I too will say goodnight," she said. "Mother, Father, good night, and thank you; I have certainly dined better at your table than in the refectory of the priestesses."

"Don't see why it ought to be that way," Priam said thickly. "They get the best of everything up there."

Aeneas said, "By your leave, sir, I will walk through the city with the Lady Kassandra; it's late and there may be riff-raff about, now that all the decent able-bodied men are with the soldiers down below."

"I thank you, but really, Brother-in-law, it's not necessary—"

"Let him go with you, Kassandra," Hecuba commanded firmly. "It will ease my mind; Polyxena was not with us tonight because the Temple of the Maiden could spare no able-bodied man to escort her."

"Why, where is Polyxena?" Kassandra asked. She had noticed her sister's absence, but for all she knew, Polyxena might have been married to some king or warrior at the far end of the world.

"She serves the Maiden Goddess; it's a long story," Hecuba said in a tone indicating that long story or short, she had no intention of telling it now. Kassandra kissed her mother and the children, and let Aeneas, rather than a servant, fold her into her cloak. Hector rose too, embracing his wife and son, and at the palace doors, took leave of Aeneas and Kassandra.

"You are prettier than when you went to Colchis," he said kindly. "There is some ballad which calls you beautiful enough for Apollo to desire; if you want to come home I am sure Father could find you a husband, without all the nonsense that drove Polyxena into the Temple of the Maiden."

"No, dear brother; I am happy in the house of the Sunlord," she replied, but she returned his embrace with real warmth, knowing he meant her well.

It was not particularly dark as they moved up the steep streets, for the moon was rising, round and bright. Aeneas paused at one point to look out over the plain where the Argive army lay.

"If Agamemnon and Akhilles had not quarrelled, this is the sort of night when it would hardly be wise for Hector to dine at home with his family," Aeneas said. "Usually, on nights with a full moon, these last three years, we have had an attack from seaward. But look, everything is dark down there, except in Akhilles's tent where, I dare say, they are still arguing over their wine."

"Aeneas, what's all this about Polyxena?"

"Oh, lord," he said, "I don't know the whole story; nobody does. Akhilles - well, Priam offered her to Akhilles, hoping to make trouble in the Akhaian ranks. Your father - after that he went about saying she was as beautiful as the Spartan Helen and he would award her to the most powerful—"

"What? Polyxena, as beautiful as Helen? Is his eyesight failing with age?"

"I think he was trying to make trouble with the Akhaians; he offered her to the King of Crete—"

"Idomeneus? But I heard he was joined with Agamemnon on the Akhaian side - it's treachery of course; the Minoan folk have been our kinsmen and allies since before Atlantis sank."

"Well, however it may be, Priam tried to offer her as wife to many of the island people; but all those who wanted to accept were among the supporters of the Akhaians. And in the end Polyxena rebelled—"

"Rebelled? But Polyxena has always done whatever she was told—" Kassandra protested.

"And so she did; but she said at last she felt like a pot being hawked at the market; and a cracked pot which no one would buy at that—and vowed to serve the Maiden Goddess. Where she is to this day. Priam was angrier with her than when you went to serve the Sunlord."

"I suppose so," Kassandra said. "Since I was a very little girl,

Father always thought of me as a rebel; but when Polyxena disobeyed, it must have been as if a child's pet rabbit had turned and bitten him."

"Yes, exactly like that, I think. Your mother was very distressed."

"Yes," Kassandra said, "Mother brings us up to think for ourselves and then is shocked and upset when we do it. I'm glad she made her own decision."

They strolled quietly up the steep street. Kassandra stumbled in the darkness and Aeneas quickly caught her.

"Mind your step!" he admonished. "It's a long fall!"

His arm was round her; he was not wearing armor, only tunic and cloak, and against her body he felt warm and strong. She let him support her for the next few steps; but when she would have drawn herself upright, he tightened the clasp of his arm around her waist, and bent his face to hers. In the dark their lips just met before she pulled away.

"No," she said, entreating, drawing herself away. "No, Aeneas. Not you too."

He did not free her at once; but he raised his head, and said softly, "Since first I set eyes on you, Kassandra, I have wanted you. And somehow I thought that this—this was not altogether distasteful to you."

She said, and discovered that her voice was shaking, "If it had been otherwise - but I am sworn to chastity, and you are the husband of my sister."

"Not by my own choice, not by Creusa's," Aeneas said softly. "We were wedded by the will of my father and yours."

"Still, it is done," Kassandra said. "I am not Helen, to abandon a pledge of honor…' but she let her head rest against his strong arm. She felt weak, as if her legs were no longer holding her firmly upright.

Aeneas said quietly, "I think too much is said of honor and duty. Why should Helen remain faithful to Menelaus? She was given to him with no thought for her happiness. Are we put on this earth only to carry out our duty to our families? Are we not given life by the Gods so that we may create lives for ourselves tor some good to our own hearts and minds and souls?"

If you felt like that," Kassandra asked precisely, drawing herself a little upright (she felt cold away from Aeneas's arm),"why did you agree to marry her in the first place?"

"Oh, I was younger then," Aeneas said, "and all my life I had been told it was my duty to marry whatever princess was found for me; and at that time I believed still that one woman was very much like another."

"And are they not?"

"No," Aeneas said violently. "No, they are not. Creusa is a good woman, but you are as unlike her as wine to spring water. I say nothing against the mother of my children; but at that time I had never seen a woman who was more to me than any other, one I truly wanted, one who could speak as an equal, a comrade - Kassandra, I swear, if before I married Creusa I had had the opportunity to speak a dozen times with you, I would have told Priam and my father that I would marry no other woman under the skies - that I would have you or go unmarried to my grave."

She felt stunned. "You cannot mean this; you are making fun of me," she murmured.

"Why would I want to do that?" he demanded. "I did not - I do not - want to disrupt my life, or trouble your peace, or hurt Creusa, but I think that Goddess of Love who played such a cruel trick on Paris has chosen to throw discord my way as well—and I felt I must say to you, once, what I felt."

She put out her hand, hardly knowing she was doing so, and touched his; he clasped his fingers strongly over hers. He said softly, "When first I saw you, seated among the girls with your eyes cast down modestly, I knew all at once that it was you I wanted, and that I should have stood up at once and proclaimed it to Priam and to my father…'

The thought made Kassandra smile.

"And what would Creusa have said to that?"

"I should not have let that matter to me," Aeneas said. "I was the one whose life was being cast into the balance. Tell me, Kassandra, would you have had me for a husband? If I had refused Creusa and demanded you instead - as the price of my fighting for Troy—"

Her heart was beating as wildly as his agitated words. "I don't know," she said at last. "Whatever I might have said or done then, it's too late for thinking about it now."

"It need not be too late," he said, and drew her into his arms. She did not know that she was crying until Aeneas's finger wiped away a tear.

"Don't cry, Kassandra; I don't wish to make you unhappy. But I cannot bear to think that now I have found that you are the one I love, that there can never be anything more for us than this—"

He enfolded her in an embrace so rough, so completely compelling, that nothing outside seemed to exist at all; she was drowning, suffocating, wiped away into non-existence; incapable of thought. Nevertheless after a time that seemed too long - but very short - she pulled herself upright and on to her own feet, wiping her eyes with her gown. So that is what it is like.

She knew her voice was shaking as she said, "You are my sister's husband; You are my brother."

"By my own immortal ancestress! Don't you think I have chewed on that until it sickens me?" he muttered. "I can only beg you—not to be angry with me."

"No," she said, and it sounded so foolishly inadequate for the moment between them that she began helplessly to giggle, "No, I'm not angry with you, Aeneas."

He pulled her again, into an embrace she could not and did not want to fight off; but this time there was caution too, as if he were taking great pains not to hurt or frighten her. He said against her ear, "Tell me you care for me too, Kassandra."

"Oh, Gods," she said helplessly,"do you have to ask?" Her mouth was crushed so tightly against his that she wondered how he could understand her words.

"No," he said, "I don't have to ask, but I need to hear you say it. I don't think I can stand to go on living unless I hear you say it."

Suddenly Kassandra was filled with the most unbelievable sense of generosity; it was in her power to give him something ht wanted so much. She leaned forward again against him and whispered, "I do care for you. I think - I think I have loved you since first I saw you." And she felt him move softly against her as if it was where he had always wanted to be. He was touching only her fingers; but it was somehow closer than an embrace. She wanted him to hold her again, yet she knew that if he did, she and she alone would be responsible for whatever happened.

She said softly, "Aeneas—" and stopped.

"What, Kassandra?"

"I think—" she whispered with a sense of overpowering wonder, "I think I only wanted to hear myself say your name."

He tightened his arms round her, but gently, as if he was afraid the slightest touch would break her. He said, "My little love. I don't know - I'm not sure what it is that I want, but it is not to seduce you into my bed - that I can have from anyone, anytime. I love you, Kassandra. I wanted to tell you, to try and make you understand—"

"I do understand," she said, tightening her hand on his. Above them the moon swung so brilliant that she could see his face as if by daylight.

"Look," he said, "all the fires are out in the Akhaian camp. It is very late. You must be weary—I should let you go."

It was late; she drew a little away from him, feeling cold out of his arms, and offered him her hand. He bent over her very close, but he did not kiss her again. He whispered, "Good night, my little love, and the Goddess keep you. I will stand here till I see you safe inside the gates of the Sunlord's house."

She climbed the last steps alone, thrust at the gate, which was opened from inside.

"Ah, Princess Kassandra," said one of the temple servants, as he opened the gate, "you are returning from dining with your parents at the palace? Did you walk up alone?"

"No; the Lord Aeneas escorted me," she said, and the young man thrust out his head.

"Would the Lord Aeneas like a lighted torch for the way downward?"

"No, thank you," Aeneas said courteously. "The moon is very bright." He bowed to Kassandra. "Good night, my sister and my lady."

"Good night," she said, and when she was out of hearing, she heard herself whisper, "Good night, my love."

She was stricken with dismay. She had sworn - knowing nothing of it - that she would never serve the Goddess Aphrodite nor succumb to this kind of passion.

And now she was like any other of that Akhaian Goddess's servants.