Providence

Chapter Three Suspicion(s)

I didn’t leave campus again until Beth, Kim and I met Ryan and his friends for drinks in a pub downtown. When we arrived, I saw that it was less of a pub and more of a dingy hole in the wall, but it would serve our purpose.

Tucker nodded to the bartender. “Hey, Tozzi.”

Tozzi eyed our group as he dried the inside of a glass and nodded.

We began with a shot and toasted to our mascot, “TO THE BIG BROWN BEAR!!”

I lost count of how many drinks I’d had, it was easy to do that with an open tab at the bar and Tucker ordering round after round. My cheeks were beginning to complain from the constant giggling and smiling, so I made fish faces to stretch them out. Ryan squeezed and pulled at my face as he laughed, having far more to drink than I had.

Ryan spoke as quietly as a drunk person was capable, brushing my bangs from my eyes and laughing as if he should be hiccupping tiny bubbles with every word. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked.

“A few times,” I replied.

He grabbed each side of my face and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m glad you came, Nina. I never have this much fun.”

Beth had just volunteered to call a cab when the door opened and I saw them. Jared walked in with a platinum-blonde beauty. She was all of five feet four inches and clearly younger than I. Her lips were plush, snowy banks glittering under her icy blue eyes. She moved with the confidence and precision of a runway model, disregarding our table as she strode by. Her hair was board-straight, barely grazing her shoulders, and her thick bangs hung just above her eyes. A tiny diamond piercing sparkled in the crease of her left nostril. I’d never seen anything like her in real life before. She looked like punk rock Barbie with her heavy eye makeup, skin-tight clothing and knee-high boots.

Jared ignored us, too, as he followed her to the bar, and I felt something catch in my throat when he sat next to his companion.

Kim grabbed my shoulder. “Does he know you’re here?”

“I don’t think so,” I choked out.

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, seeing our reaction to the fair-haired couple at the bar.

“That is the guy that’s been pursuing Nina,” Kim said, eyeing Jared with disgust.

Ryan looked at me and nodded in Jared’s direction. “You’re dating that guy?”

“No.” I stood up from the table. The door was just a few steps away, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.

Tozzi took one look at the blonde Jared was with and shook his head. Jared whispered something in his ear, slid something across the counter and the bartender walked away without further argument. The girl — and she was a girl — looked up at Jared with an annoyed expression. I was instantly angry. He had chosen to be with her and she was bored with him.

Beth stumbled back to the table. “Cab’s on its way.”

“Let’s wait outside,” Kim said, pulling me with her.

Just before I looked away, Jared raised his eyes to meet mine. I was glad that he had seen me, then he wouldn’t be so surprised at the fury I would unleash on him the next time we happened upon each other. My anger gave me the distraction I needed to turn away. I shook my head in heated disbelief that he’d shown up with such a fake looking sl—

My arm pulled in the wrong direction. “Nina, don’t go,” Jared said.

“What are you doing here with her?” Beth sneered.

I looked down at my arm and then glared up at Jared. He removed his gentle hold on me so as not to offend me further. “Just…wait a minute. It’s not what you think.”

“I don’t think anything,” I snapped.

Jared sighed. “Yes, you do. If you would just give me a moment to explain….”

In the next moment Ryan was standing beside me, eyeing Jared. “She’s leaving. You need to step back,” Ryan said in a low, hostile voice.

Jared turned his head away from us, laughing off the threat. He turned to look directly at Ryan, and I recoiled as his eyes turned from warm pools to steely blue.

After a few tense moments, Jared looked down at me. His eyes softened again. “Nina, I don’t want you to leave upset. Just hear me out.”

“I don’t think I will,” I said, turning away from him. His hand shot out to catch my arm once more. Ryan grabbed Jared’s arm and I could see that in seconds the situation was going to escalate.

A petite hand shot out and gripped Ryan’s wrist, bending it back just enough to incapacitate him. Ryan cried out in pain.

A feminine but firm voice came from behind Jared. “I’m just going to tell you this once. Don’t put your hands on my brother.”

“Okay! Okay!” Ryan begged.

“All right, Claire, that’s enough,” Jared murmured, watching me. He sighed at the horror that emanated from my eyes as I watched her draw her hand back from Ryan’s.

“This is my little sister, Claire,” Jared explained with chagrin.

My eyes shot a confused look at Claire, searching for some sort of offense taken by her, but there was none. He was telling the truth.

“Your sister?” I asked. From my peripheral vision, I could see Ryan rubbing his wrist.

Claire watched Ryan, seeming both irritated and concerned, almost as if she had regretted hurting him. Jared noticed the way she looked at Ryan as well, and they traded a strange glance.

“I didn’t want you to think…,” Jared trailed off, looking at me, “I’m sorry. About the other day, it’s difficult….”

Claire rolled her eyes and made her way to the bar. Jared whispered in her ear as she passed.

“Behave yourself.”

“Whatever,” she snapped.

Claire made herself comfortable on the bar stool and ordered a water, keeping to herself. After a few moments, her eyes flashed to Ryan and then back down to her drink.

Jared turned to me again, obviously wanting to pick up where we left off. His eyes wandered beside me to where Ryan was still standing.

“It’s okay, Ryan,” I whispered, touching his arm. I noticed Jared stare at my hand as if it would burst into flames.

“Okay?” Ryan repeated, still rubbing his wrist. I didn’t miss the edge of uneasiness in his voice.

“Yeah,” I smiled.

Ryan walked with Kim and Beth to the wall beside the door to join the rest of the group we came with. They all made a poor attempt to pretend they were watching for the cab.

“What are you doing here, Jared?” I snapped my head back to meet his eyes. He muttered something under his breath, briefly surveying the room full of people that were staring at us. I cocked my head and leaned so that I was somewhat in his line of sight. “Jared?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was with Claire. She insisted on coming in,” he said, looking back to me.

“I’m not sure why you’re here at all,” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

Jared noted the stubborn set of my chin and sighed. “I’m here because of what happened the other day. The look on your face when you walked away…I couldn’t just let you think that I didn’t….that I wasn’t….,” he was struggling with the truth, and it was aggravating me.

“Just say it!”

He winced at my tone. “I have these…feelings for you. And when I saw you over here, with that same look on your face, I was afraid you’d never speak to me again if I didn’t explain.”

“You have feelings for me?”

His face fell. “I can’t get you out of my head.”

That simple sentence had my heart pounding through my chest. He lightly cupped my jaw and brushed his thumb against my cheek. His touch sent a jolt of electricity throughout my body from my head to my toes.

A sultry guitar solo played from the jukebox. I knew the song vaguely, but wasn’t paying enough attention to it to figure it out. Jared’s mouth turned up into a half-smile, and he pulled on both of my hands.

“Come here,” he said.

He walked backwards and led me to the small wooden dance floor. Pulling me close to his chest, his eyes never left mine. Everyone in the room must have been staring at us through the smoky haze, but I couldn’t disengage my gaze from his, even for a moment. He wrapped his arms around my middle, and I slid my hands up his arms, stopping at his shoulders.

I wasn’t sure if we were even dancing, with all of my focus on the fact that our bodies were so close. He broke his stare and leaned down to press his lips to my hair. I pressed my cheek against his chest and closed my eyes.

He tightened his grip, and every inch of me that was in contact with him burned in a wonderful way. I looked up and my eyes stalled on his lips, the bottom a bit fuller than the top. I bit my lip in anticipation, the alcohol dissolving all of my inhibitions.

His body stiffened and I turned to follow his glare to the bar. One of the older men still loitering in the pub had approached Claire.

The man reached for Claire and Jared’s grip on me tightened, stepping just slightly in front of me in a protective stance.

The man leaned over and patted Claire on the back. He laughed loudly and attempted to whisper into her ear. Claire was staring ahead, her body rigid; seeing just half of her expression it was obvious that she was about to lose her temper. The man lost his balance and used Claire to right himself.

“Claire—,” Jared warned, but it was too late.

In the same second, she knocked the man’s legs out from under him with incredible speed and then stood up on the rung of her bar stool, slamming his head, cheek down, to the bar. The wood made a cracking noise with the force of her blow, and the man wailed in pain. He flailed his arms, reaching above him for Claire’s face, but she quickly reached around with her other hand and grabbed his fingers, wrenching them back. The bones in his fingers snapped and I recoiled, even though I still hadn’t quite processed what was going on. The man’s blood-curdling scream sent the bartender running over to try to separate them.

Claire leaned down and yelled over the music into his ear. “Was that good for you, Baby?” and then slowly licked his cheek. Claire released her grip, and he slithered down to the floor. The entire room seemed frozen in time.

Jared heaved an exasperated sigh. He looked at me with a tired ache in his eyes, and then let me go. He walked over to Claire, grabbed her arm and then ushered her out.

“She broke my damn fingers!” the man howled, cradling his arm to his chest.

Several of the older patrons rushed to his side and helped him up while he moaned in pain. Beth grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the pub. The cab waited for us outside in a cloud of exhaust.

I looked around, but Jared had disappeared.

Beth tugged at my coat frantically. “Get in, Nina, before the cops get here!”

I ducked into the cab and my ears were filled with shrieking and chattering in high tones. I wasn’t listening to any of it; I was too confused about what I had seen. Jared wasn’t surprised at all that his teenaged-sister had broken the hand of a full grown man as if he was made of glass.

I went over it in my head; the memory seemed more like a kung fu movie than something that had unfolded in front of my eyes. Tiny, delicate Claire seemed to have superhuman strength and speed, and Jared’s reaction didn’t make sense. He didn’t act to protect her, and yet he seemed to know that carnage was on the horizon; he even shielded me from it.

“Nina! Are you listening to me? Wasn’t that incredible? The way she just—,” Beth set in motion with a series of karate chops and then jerked her hand forward in the same motion Claire used to slam the man’s head into the bar, grunting with each move. Beth giggled with delight while I shuddered at the recollection.

“I’d hate to meet her on a dark playground, I’ll tell you that,” Kim joked.

Ryan shook his head. “She’s all of ninety-five pounds and when she grabbed my hand, I couldn’t break free. What is she? Sixteen? Seventeen? She isn’t normal.”

“She has to be in high school, still,” Beth said.

“She’s old enough to drive, though. Did you see her car?” Kim added.

I perked up, then. “You saw them leave?”

Beth nodded. “She took off down the street in some kind of sports car; Jared was with her. They looked like they were arguing.”

“It was a Lotus,” Kim said.

“It was a phantom black Lotus Exige S two-sixty. Nice, nice car,” Ryan mused. “It costs over twelve-grand just for the paint.”

“Doesn’t Josh’s dad have one?” Kim asked, elbowing Ryan.

Ryan shook his head with raised eyebrows.

Kim looked at me. “It’s a good thing she wasn’t his date, Nigh. That would have been one short catfight.”

“Hey,” Beth prodded. Her giggling had tapered off. “What’s wrong? You’ll see him again, I’m sure of it. You should have seen the way he looked at you when you were dancing together.”

I couldn’t help but notice Ryan frown at Beth’s words.

My attention was drawn to the passing lights outside my window. Seeing him again was exactly what I wanted, but my sense of self-preservation cried foul. The entire situation was one big red flag, but did I believe Jared was dangerous?

Something about Jared’s eyes assured me that in the short time I’d known him, he was safe. Every piece of me that had been guided by my father to be reasonable and wary was screaming run, but I knew I would intentionally try to cross paths with him at the earliest moment fate allowed. The moment of sadness in his eyes before he left me played out over and over in my head. I had to see him again.

The next study group session, Ryan collapsed in the chair beside me. He teetered his pencil between his fingers while I went over my notes.

“Nina?” Ryan whispered.

“Yes?”

“Who was that guy the other night?”

I feigned a confused expression. “What guy?”

He smirked at me. “You know who I’m talking about. That Jared guy. Are you dating him?”

I shrugged. “No, not really.”

“What does that mean?”

I kept my eyes on my paper. “I’ve gone to lunch with him once, he’s given me a ride home a few times, and I’ve see him around town…,” I was purposefully vague. I didn’t know where the conversation was headed.

“So what was that, at the pub? Why did he show up with his sister to tell you he wasn’t there with her?”

“I haven’t talked to him to get that figured out, yet.”

“But you’re going to talk to him?” His voice was growing impatient with my answers.

“I don’t know, Ryan. Why?” I said, unable to conceal my irritation with his line of questioning.

Ryan squirmed in his seat and then turned to face me. “I wanted to ask you…if…you know… if you wanted to grab dinner sometime.”

“Oh,” I rubbed my forehead, “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.”

Ryan nodded indifferently. “I just thought I’d ask. I didn’t know if you and that guy were….”

“It’s not about Jared,” I lied.

“Do you think he came there to check up on you?”

I contemplated that for a moment. “I don’t know, maybe. I’ve been running into him a lot, lately.”

“That’s pretty creepy.”

“I like to think of it as fate stepping in,” I mused.

Ryan’s face twisted to petulance. “Sounds like stalking to me.”

“You should talk, trying to fight over a girl you barely know.”

“He had his hands on you,” he grumbled.

“Thank you,” I smiled, nudging him.

“You’re welcome. You know that guy’s got to be bad news, right?”

“I don’t believe that.” Ryan scowled at my words, but I shrugged off his skepticism. “I can’t explain it. There’s something in his eyes.”

Ryan shook his head in disapproval. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. His little sister is insane.”

“I’m with you on that one.”

We both laughed and then Ryan shrugged. “Maybe once you get things all sorted out with your stalker, you’ll reconsider.”

“He’s not a stalker.”

“MmmHmm,” he said, trying to appear interested in his algebra book.

Beth began gathering her plethora of organizational aides and Kim stood up and stretched. The rest of the group disbanded as Kim, Beth, Ryan and I walked out of the library together.

“I’m starving,” Kim said.

“I could eat,” Beth chimed in.

Ryan turned to me. “Is an after study snack out of the question?”

They all eyed me expectantly. “Let’s eat,” I shrugged.

Ryan and Kim went over possible plans for the weekend over pancakes and hash browns while Beth and I discussed our intentions to attend the basketball game. Even with the ever-growing puzzle that was Jared, life was a shade of ordinary again. I felt the unease I’d been feeling for weeks slowly dissipate into the greasy air.

While walking out to the car I noticed a short, squat man walking parallel to us. Ryan veered to the outside of our group, positioning himself between us and the stranger. The man arrived at Kim’s Sentra the same moment that we did.

“Are you Nina Grey?” The man asked me in a hoarse voice. I felt my body tense.

“What do you need?” Ryan asked, stepping forward.

The man noted Ryan’s presence but spoke only to me. “I was an associate of your father’s. My name is Charles Dawson. It’s important that I speak with you.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, the mention of my father created a stabbing sensation in my stomach.

“I would like to speak with you alone, if you don’t mind,” he said, his squinty eyes shifting from each of my friends and then back to me.

“Nina, do you know this guy?” Ryan asked, jerking his thumb at Mr. Dawson.

I studied his face for a moment. He wore an expensive suit like the hundreds of other men I’d seen in my father’s company through the years, but his face wasn’t familiar.

I tried to be polite. “I–I don’t think I do, sir. I’m not sure I could help you.”

Mr. Dawson took a step toward me and Ryan did the same.

“I’ve been trying to get in touch with your father for some time, now. It’s come to my attention that he’s passed away.”

I worked to separate my lips long enough to form the words. “That’s correct.”

“Your father had agreed to sign over some property to me, and I was wondering if you were at all familiar with our transaction?”

Kim spoke up. “Nina, this is probably not the appropriate time to—,”

“I think you’d rather speak to my father’s attorney, Thomas Rosen,” I interrupted. “He is with Rosen and Barnes in Kennedy Plaza. I’m sure he will be able to assist you.” I turned to get into the car, but the man took several quick steps to thwart my efforts. He held my door and his face turned grave.

“It’s of the utmost importance, Nina. I’ve exhausted all of my options, and I’m asking for your help.” His eyes darted to Ryan and then back to me. Mr. Dawson kept his voice low, “Jack has a safe. Maybe you’ve seen it? My papers are there in that safe and I need to obtain them right away.”

The already uncomfortable feeling that I was experiencing grew as the man inched closer to me. I heard Kim make wide strides to intercede, but Ryan beat her to it, stepping between me and the stranger. I slid into my seat and shut the door while Kim wheeled around, hurrying to start the car. Ryan paused for a moment, eyeing the man, and then joined Beth in the back seat. I saw Ryan’s arm slide between my shoulder and the door, reaching to press down the lock.

Mr. Dawson leaned down to peer at me through the glass. “I need those papers, Nina. It would be wise of you to help me.” He pulled out a card and held it against the window with his palm. I scanned it quickly and attempted to smile.

No one spoke until we were almost back to the school parking lot.

“Does anyone else think that was completely creepy?” Beth shrieked.

“Beth! You scared the crap outta me!” Kim said.

“What are you going to do?” Ryan asked.

“I’m going to call Mr. Rosen tomorrow, and then I’m going to call my mother,” I said, fidgeting.

Beth nodded with wide eyes. “Your mom is gonna freak.”

“I know,” I grumbled.

Kim waved and set off to Andrews while Beth and I said our goodbyes to Ryan.

Beth patted Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m glad you were there, Ryan. That guy was…I don’t think he would have let Nina in the car had you not been there.”

“Yes, thank you,” I said, hugging him.

Ryan pulled back to look at me, still keeping me enveloped in his arms. “I’d do anything for you,” he said, brushing my bangs away from my eyes.

I took a step back and glanced at Beth, whose eyes were bouncing back and forth between Ryan and me. He scratched the back of his head nervously. “Yeah, well…guess I better head back to the dorm. I’ll see you ladies at our next study group.”

“See ya!” Beth chirped.

I smiled and waved to him as he turned to walk away.

Beth grabbed my arm and pulled me along with her as she walked. “Neeenah! What are you going to do about him? He’s in love with you!”

“He is not,” I said, glowering at her. “He just hasn’t accepted our strictly platonic relationship, yet.”

“And you think he will?”

“Yes,” I said, nodding once.

“Or you hope he will?”

“He will.”

“Because you’re in love with Jared?” she grinned.

“I barely know Jared!” I said, irritated. “Beth, you have to hear how ridiculous you sound right now. Ryan loves me, I love Jared. I’ve known them both for about two seconds.”

“You are in denial.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to see my mother tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?”

“No, I have a meeting.”

I raised one eyebrow. “What kind of meeting?”

“I’m not talking about it, you’ll laugh at me.”

“Tell me, Beth. I won’t laugh,” I said, hooking my arm around hers.

She pressed her lips together and then sighed in resignation. “We’re starting a group for students from Oklahoma.”

“How many are there?” My words were involuntarily tinged with disbelief.

“A few!” she said defensively.

I fought a grin. “Are you going to have square dances and fight with the Native American Club?”

“You’re not funny.”

I chuckled and looked away. “That was pretty funny.”

“You know the parking meter was invented in Oklahoma? And the shopping cart…? Invented in Oklahoma, too! The yield sign, the autopilot, voicemail! All because of Oklahomans. Bill Gates was inspired by an article penned by Ed Roberts, an Oklahoman. We have affordable housing, natural gas, Will Rogers, and the Sooners!

“The Oklahoma jokes are getting really old. We’re not a bunch of hillbillies…you’re friends with me, aren’t you?” she said, breathless.

“Yes, Beth! Yes, we’re friends! You’re right, I’m sorry. I won’t say anything else about Oklahoma.” I could feel my eyes widen in bewilderment. Beth was upset with me.

“And that goes for Kim, too,” she grumbled.

“I can’t speak for Kim, but don’t hold your breath.”

Beth tried not to smile, but giggled, anyway. I smiled apologetically and we hugged just outside of our dorm room.

“You’re crazy, but I love you, anyway,” I giggled.

“I love you, too. I wouldn’t rather be shacked up with any other Yankee,” she said in a horrible southern drawl.

The next morning Beth decided to rise early and head out with me for coffee. I felt closer to her after our understanding the night before, and she seemed to be in an uncharacteristically good mood for being up so early.

Classes went by without delay. Before I knew it, I was sitting in my room alone, thinking about Jared and his unexplained appearances in my life. My mind abruptly switched to Mr. Dawson. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Thomas’ office. His secretary answered and informed me that he was out for the day. I hung up, frustrated.

I couldn’t recall a secret safe or any important real estate deal my father was involved in, which wasn’t exactly surprising. I was typically clueless about my father’s business dealings and had gratefully remained that way. That was before strange men started following me around, though. At least one person thought I had access to that file. I had to know why it was so important.

I burst through the door of my parents’ home and called for Agatha.

“Yes, Nina love! What’s the racket about?” she answered, scurrying around the corner.

“Is Mother home?”

“She’s at Crestwood, planning something ‘er other. You know how busy she keeps these days.”

Of course she would be out. Immediately after Jack’s funeral, my mother immersed herself into every group, every organization, and every charity she could find. She had several meetings a day and, although it was at times frustrating being unable to reach her, I was appreciative of her time well spent away from my dorm room.

After an hour of thumbing through my mother’s mail and snooping in every closet downstairs, I headed to Jack’s office. It was the most obvious place to look, so I assumed I wouldn’t find anything that would be of help. I took my hand off the knob and had almost convinced myself to look elsewhere, but I wheeled around and shoved myself through the door.

It hadn’t changed.

His mahogany desk and swivel chair sat commandingly in the center of the room. Hundreds of books including tax law, encyclopedias, poetry, the classics and Dr. Seuss lined the back wall.

I crossed his plush, imported rug and planted myself in the desk chair. The last papers he had looked over before his accident lay strewn on one side, and unopened envelopes on the other. I started with those. Opening one after another, I sifted through statements, invitations, requests and letters. Seeing nothing of interest, I pitched them into the wastebasket under the desk.

Just as I was about to put the letter opener back inside the drawer, the inscription caught my eye. My mother had purchased it for me so I could give it to Jack for his birthday. The inscription read simply, “To Daddy Love, Nina”. I ran my finger over the words affectionately and shoved it into my back pocket. My mother wouldn’t miss it.

My eyes flitted to a two-inch stack of papers with sign here stickers poking out in various bright colors. I thumbed through them, but didn’t see anything about properties.

I pulled his lower desk drawer open and thumbed through every file, but I saw nothing of importance. Searching the remaining drawers, I rifled through old photos, envelopes, paperwork from the last ten years of tax filings, and a set of car keys. I slammed the last drawer shut and puffed.

My eyes wandered over to the file cabinets along the left wall. I started with the highest drawer in the cabinet closest to the back wall and searched for anything pertaining to properties, commercial or otherwise. I began to feel possessed. Every time I shut a drawer, I stifled a sob. Each drawer was slammed harder and harder. Only one cabinet wouldn’t open.

While searching through the last drawer my hands began to shake. Upon finding no suspicious evidence or anything related to Mr. Dawson I kicked the drawer shut, causing the cabinet to rock back and forth.

“AGH!” I stomped, balling my hands into fists at my sides.

I paced in a small circle for a minute, and then made my way to the desk chair and collapsed. A small bronze frame sat to my left. It was of me and Jack when I was about four years old. We had gone on vacation to the Grand Canyon and I had fallen. I looked closer to verify my bandaged knee and smiled. I was sitting on my father’s lap; he had just finished cleaning up the dirt and blood and used a colorful bandage from my mother’s purse. He kissed my knee and told me that it was all better, and even though the sting remained, I nodded my head in belief.

The colors were all so vivid, as was my memory. My eyes filled with tears and I looked around, horrified that I was in Jack’s office and at what I was doing there. Mr. Dawson, a complete stranger, had made me doubt my father. I wiped my face and quickly straightened his desk. The door slammed behind me as I quickly descended the stairs.

“Miss Nina?” Agatha called after me, but I raced past her, too intent on escaping the shame that I felt.

I yanked my BMW into gear and flew down the driveway into the street. Tears streamed down my face and I felt my body shudder in the same sobs I had worked so hard to rid myself of. Too many questions and no answers, everything that had made sense died with my father.

The flickering street lamps flew by as I sped down the road. As I passed the bus stop where I’d first met Jared. I noticed someone sitting on the bench and slammed on my brakes. I jerked the gear into reverse and my car made a grievous whirring noise as I back-tracked. My tires screeched to a halt straight across from where Jared sat.

Shoving my way out of the car, I stomped to the middle of the street. “Are you following me?”

“Are you all right?” he asked, concern overshadowing his flawless features.

“What are you doing here, damn it?” I yelled.

He stood up and held his arms out to me, but I shook my head. He stopped and furrowed his brow. “Nina, come here.”

“I want answers, Jared. You show up in my life, tell me you have these feelings for me. You won’t give me your number, and you all but refused mine.” I took a step toward him, and he a step toward me.

“Nina, I know you’re upset, but it’s going to be okay.” His voice was calm and soothing, almost too much so, as if he was trying to talk me down from a ledge.

“I’m standing in the middle of the street bawling my eyes out and yelling at you, Jared! Why aren’t you asking me what’s wrong? Why don’t you ever ask me questions?” Jared thought for a moment, seeming surprised at my observation. He took another step toward me with outstretched arms, begging to hold me.

“Is it feelings you have for me? Or are you just following me around because you feel sorry for me? Is it because I’m some tragic, fatherless basket case that you’ve decided to make a charity project out of?”

His eyes turned angry and his arms lowered. “You know that’s not true.”

As he took another step, his face for once didn’t try to hide emotion. His eyes ached for me to come to him; I could see that my tears caused him pain. I leaned into his arms and he wrapped them around me without hesitation.

I relaxed in his embrace for a moment, the warmth of his arms provided instant comfort.

He leaned down to press his cheek against my temple. “It’s more than just feelings, Nina. You have to know that.”

I peered up at him with damp eyes. “Then why haven’t you…?”

“What?” he asked. I shook my head at first, but he pulled me closer to him and his eyes begged me to confess my thoughts. “Tell me.”

“Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?”

He seemed stunned, and then his eyes settled on my lips. I watched as his expression changed from desire, to conflicted, to a decision. I didn’t know what it all meant, so I closed my eyes and leaned into him, knowing his lips were just a few inches from mine. I felt his grip tighten and he held me at bay. My eyes popped open, humiliation crashing over me in waves. Adding to my already crippling embarrassment, tears once again spilled over my cheeks.

His eyes closed tight and his face crumpled. “I don’t want to lie to you.”

The humiliation still flamed my face, but it was now obscured by my anger. I’d grown weary of his vague non-answers. He would offer a tiny bit of truth shrouded in confusing ambiguity and my patience had reached its limit.

Seeing the resentment in my eyes, Jared let out a frustrated sigh. He released me and walked across the street to an impressive black motorcycle parked behind the bench. Without looking back he turned the key, and with a push of the button the engine roared to life. The motor snarled as he revved it a few times before speeding off the sidewalk and down the street.

The weekend came and went. Beth and I attended the basketball game and Kim, Beth and I joined Ryan, Josh, Tucker, and Chad for air hockey and nachos. I refused to talk about Jared, even with Beth. I couldn’t even bring myself to explain what had happened that caused me to be so furious anytime they mentioned his name.

Ryan seemed to enjoy my change of heart. One night he called to ask me for help with his chemistry, and we found ourselves sitting on the floor of my dorm room alone.

“No…it’s….” I pressed my lips together as I rewrote the last line.

“Chad said he failed this test last year,” Ryan grumbled.

“Well, Chad didn’t have me for a tutor, now did he?” I threw my pencil at him and it bounced to the floor.

“Tutor or not, this test is gonna suck.”

“Have you lost your faith in me?”

“Have you reconsidered my offer, yet?” he grinned.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I shrugged, playing dumb.

“Yes, you do. It’s okay if you haven’t….you will eventually,” he smiled wide.

“I’m fairly certain I won’t be interested in dating for a long, long time.”

Ryan didn’t skip a beat. “I’ll wait.”