Providence

Chapter Fifteen The Last Supper

Jared instructed Robert to drive us to the loft, and then take my things to Brown. I noticed that he didn’t speak much on the way, but there was no point in trying to talk to him. Not with Cynthia sitting on the other side of me.

When the car slid in next to the curb, I kissed my mother goodbye. Jared led me up the stairs with one hand, his duffle bag and luggage in the other. He put a few things away, and then trotted down the stairs.

From the railing I watched him mill about. I wasn’t sure when reality would finally set in. His perfection was something only seen on the silver screen or a magazine cover, and yet he casually walked around just below me. He was thumbing through his mail until he paused to look up at me.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

“I should be asking you that, shouldn’t I?”

“No, not necessarily, why?” His face was too relaxed, his features intentionally at ease.

“You’re not going to tell me what Samuel said?”

Jared smiled, seeming to ignore my question. “If you’re worried about your things, I had Robert take them to be laundered. We’ll pick them up later and swing by Andrews to get anything else you need.”

“Jared…Samuel—,”

“Lillian wants to meet you,” he interrupted.

“She wants to meet me? But…I’ve met her,” I said, bewildered.

“Nina, you haven’t been around her since you were a girl. And she wants to be properly introduced to my girlfriend, not to mention Bex has been dying to meet you. You’re sort of a celebrity at my house.”

“A what?” I said dubiously.

Jared laughed. “Imagine your father guarding the king, and your big brother, whom you idolize, guards the princess. You’ve never met either of them….wouldn’t you be excited to hear that a princess is coming to dinner? He’s eleven. He’s excited.”

“Yes, Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Crime,” I grumbled.

“Tomorrow night. She’s making pot roast.”

“Ugh! You’re not fighting fair!”

His face contorted from playful to concern. “You don’t want to meet my family?”

“Of course I want to meet your family. It’s just that…being around your mother — who I desperately want to like me — and in the same room is Claire…who wishes me dead. It’s going to be awkward.”

Jared smiled warmly. “It will be fine. Claire will be on her best behavior, I assure you. My mother is less forgiving about Claire’s attitude than I am. And you don’t have to worry about Lillian. She’s always loved you.”

I nodded, wondering what I had ever done to deserve her kind regard.

We set out on perfectly normal errands. He held me against his side while we waited for our developing film, and while walking the aisles of an antique store to find the perfect frame for our new picture. On the surface it appeared that our normal days on the island hadn’t ended, but Jared had purposely made it seem that way. He was hiding something.

He seemed to have to work harder to hide his unease when he wrapped his arms around me for the night.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

I felt him tense. “I was hoping you’d let it go.”

“Why? I thought truth was the cornerstone of our relationship? That was so important to you before Spring Break,” I pointed out.

“It’s still important,” he sighed.

“Then what is it? Why are you keeping what Samuel said from me?”

He sighed. “Before we left you needed normal. While we were gone, we had normal. I want you to have that here, where we live. If that’s what you want then you should have it. We could live like Jack and Cynthia. She didn’t ask questions, he didn’t divulge information, and they made it work.” He pressed his lips against my hair. “Leave the details to me.”

I considered that for a moment. “That’s what you want?”

“I just want to make things easier on you.”

I kissed his shoulder. “And when do things get easier on you?”

“You’re safe in my arms. I’m not outside Andrews in my SUV listening to you talk about some guy you’re dating, wishing it was me. The fact that you know what I am and that we spend so much time together, my job is easier than it’s ever been. This will end soon, sweetheart. I just need you to trust me.”

“Sweet potato fries?” I whispered into the darkness.

Jared pulled me closer to him and kissed my neck. “Sweet potato fries.”

Saturday morning I awoke to Jared standing beside the bed. He held out my buzzing cell phone and I took it, noting the unhappy look on his face.

“Hello?”

“Good mornin’, sunshine. How was your trip?” Ryan said.

“It was perfect. How was yours?” I said, rubbing my eyes. I couldn’t help but smile, Ryan’s voice was strangely comforting.

“It was fun. You should have been there. You didn’t forget about the Bio test next week, right?”

“You’re calling about the test?” I asked, immediately suspicious of his ulterior motives.

“No. That’s just my lame excuse. I’m calling because I haven’t heard your voice in a week and I miss you.”

I could tell by the tension in Jared’s jaw that he could hear Ryan perfectly clear. I sighed, “Thank you. I didn’t forget.”

Ryan chuckled. “Good. I’ll see you Sunday night?”

“What’s Sunday night?”

“You’re coming back to Brown Sunday night. Or did you change your mind and move in?”

I sighed. “No. I’m coming back, but not until late…I’m having dinner with Jared’s family.”

“Oh,” Ryan dramatically exhaled, making a loud noise into the phone. “Okay, then. I’ll see you Sunday night. Later, kiddo.”

I hung up the phone and made a face.

“What?” Jared asked.

“He’s being…weird. He’s being really nice.”

“I heard,” Jared frowned, sitting beside me.

“He’s up to something,” I grimaced.

Jared watched me for a moment and smiled. “I can’t say I blame him. I’ve been in his shoes, and I can testify that it’s torture being in love with you and seeing you with someone else. I don’t take a single second with you for granted.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Okay, now you’re up to something.”

Jared laughed and shook his head. “Ryan is working overtime to win you over. I’m just doing everything I can to keep you. You can’t begrudge me that.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I’ve always been yours.”

Jared took my hand and kissed my new ring, content. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

As the evening approached, I grew increasingly nervous. Jared reassured me that Lillian was very fond of me, but it didn’t help to calm my fears.

As soon as we walked in, the wonderful smell from my childhood saturated my senses. Jared’s mother greeted us in the foyer and I grinned how much Jared looked like her. She hadn’t changed, only this time in a sage green apron. Her long blonde hair caressed her shoulders, and her wide, blue-grey eyes wrinkled with her broad smile. She approached me with open arms.

“Nina! Nina…it’s so good to see you, honey. We’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” She hugged me tightly, and then pulled Jared in to kiss his cheek. The plant Jared held caught her eye. “This is for me?”

“Nina insisted we bring you something. I tried to tell her the poor thing would be dead in a week.”

“Oh! Jared…you’re so silly,” she giggled, lightly smacking his shoulder.

I could see why an angel would fall in love with her. She was a beacon of light, and love seemed to pour from her every word.

“Come in! Come and sit, dinner is almost ready,” she said, carrying the small plant with her.

Bex’s eyes brightened as he stood to greet me.

Jared gestured to the boy. “Nina, this is my little brother, Bex. Bex, this is Nina Grey.”

“Nice to meet you,” Bex said, surprising me with a hug. His blonde hair was nearly white, and his big, blue-grey eyes matched his freshly ironed shirt. Even at eleven, his muscles were already well on their way to his older brother’s size, and he was almost as tall as I. Jared watched me with adoration as I hugged his brother. Bex pulled out my chair and I smiled appreciatively before taking a seat.

I caught Claire rolling her eyes and Jared cleared his throat.

“Claire? Could you help me in the kitchen for a moment?” I heard Lillian say in a slightly firmer tone than she’d had moments before. Claire stiffened and then quickly joined her mother in the kitchen.

I sat between Bex and Jared as Lillian and a significantly more affable Claire brought the dishes of food to the table.

I felt seven years old again as Lillian circled the table, scooping out side dishes to each plate. After Lillian served me, she leaned down and kissed my cheek.

“I have missed you, sweet Nina,” she crooned.

When she retreated to the kitchen, Jared pulled me to him and kissed me affectionately. “I told you. She loves you.”

I smiled, feeling a little overwhelmed at the outpouring of love. Aside from Jared, the only person that I felt loved me so deeply was my father. It felt as if I’d had a secret family my entire life that I wasn’t aware of. They had all — but one— loved me from afar and watched me grow. Gabe’s occasional proud paternal glances made more sense, now.

I looked over at Claire and wondered why they didn’t regard me in the same way that she did. My family had kept Gabe away much of the time, and now I occupied the majority of Jared’s and, until recently, Claire’s time. I couldn’t fathom the pure goodness in Lillian for loving me despite what my family had done to hers, but she sat across from me, watching me like I was a long lost daughter that had finally returned home.

I looked down to my food, the deluge of emotion threatening to bring tears to my eyes.

“Nina?” Jared whispered, gently touching my knee.

I nervously chuckled. “I’m fine,” I said, looking up at him as if he’d given me the greatest gift in the world.

He was confused at first, but my overwhelming happiness prompted a wide grin across his face. We ate and laughed as Lillian and Bex told funny stories about Jared. Even Claire allowed herself to laugh a few times. Jared and I shared our time in Little Corn, and Lillian rushed over to look at my ring, kissing her son on the head in approval.

Lillian looked at her watch and smiled at her youngest son. “I’m afraid it’s bedtime, Bex,” she smiled.

Bex fought a look of disappointment and nodded, stopping to hug me before he retreated upstairs.

“Wow. What a great kid,” I mused, watching him leave.

“He is. All of my children are exceptional,” she said, watching Bex as he climbed towards the second floor.

“Yes they are,” I enthusiastically agreed. We all shared a laugh at that, and Claire cleared the table of our pie plates.

Jared leaned over to kiss my forehead and Lillian beamed with joy. “You make my son the happiest I have ever seen him. You don’t know how wonderful it is to see finally see him smile that way.”

I looked at Jared, who scanned my face with deep adoration. He touched my cheek and I tore my eyes away from his affectionate stare, embarrassed by the intimate way we were behaving in front of his mother.

I struggled to deflect the three pairs of eyes staring at me. “So…how does that work? Bex having a bed time, I mean. Isn’t he awake by midnight?” I asked.

Lillian’s musical laugh filled the air. “He really has told you everything, hasn’t he?” she said, winking at her son. “The younger they are, the more they sleep. They slept almost as much as other infants when they were newborns. By their first birthdays they no longer need naps, but they still slept nearly through the night. My goodness, you and I would have our work cut out for us if we had babies that only slept two hours a day!” She laughed again and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

Jared shifted in his seat. “We haven’t really…discussed that, yet, Mom.”

“Oh…I’m sorry,” she smiled sweetly. “I’m notorious for wishful thinking.”

I felt Jared’s warm hand gently encompass mine. “Let’s just take one thing at a time. We don’t want to scare Nina off.”

I smiled at Jared. “It would take a lot more than that to scare me off. As if that could ever happen.”

Claire stiffened in her seat, and almost simultaneously Jared did the same. Lillian watched her son. She was waiting for something, but didn’t seem afraid. Jared turned his head, listening intently. He reminded me of a wild animal sensing danger, on alert, ears scanning the air for movement. Suddenly Claire stood up and kicked her chair against the wall. I jumped at the noise, and then it was dark.

“Bex,” Claire whispered.

Jared grabbed my arm and whisked me up the stairs, with Lillian just behind us. We rushed down a long hall, and then entered the last door to our right. He backed me into a corner and gently put his finger to my mouth. It was then that I realized something was very wrong.

I could barely make out Jared’s form in the darkness as I saw him lean over Bex’s bed and whisper in his brother’s ear before disappearing silently from the room.

It was quiet for a long time, and I jerked when I felt Lillian’s hand on my arm. My eyes darted back and forth between the door and Bex, who was lying as still as a statue in his bed.

Suddenly, a loud crash echoed from downstairs and I closed my eyes. My heart threatened to punch through my chest with every beat. Another crash came from a different area of the lower level and then two gun shots rang out. I heard scuffling, and then a male voice cried out, abruptly cutting off.

Bex remained in his bed. The room became clearer as my vision adjusted to the darkness. Unable to discern who was in the house, how many, and who was winning, I told myself that Jared was alive as long as I was.

In the next moment, a stranger dressed in black burst through the door. The bed lit up with the beam of a flashlight, and in the next moment the man charged, yanking Bex from his bed. I lunged forward when the man pressed cold metal against the boy’s temple.

“No!” I screamed. Lillian grabbed my shoulders and jerked me against her chest.

Claire appeared in the door way, targeting the intruder with her handgun. She jerked her head up once, breathing heavily. “It’s been awhile, Crenshaw.”

Even in the darkness I could see a smug smile on Claire’s face, as if she had the upper hand. Crenshaw pressed the barrel of his gun against Bex’s head.

“Claire?” Bex said, sounding as terrified as I felt.

“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be all right,” Claire assured him.

“Just let me take her, and I’ll go quietly. I’ll leave the boy down the street,” the man growled, true fear underlying his demand.

“You know that’s not going to happen, Crenshaw. Just take your life and go,” Claire said, looking down the sights of her firearm.

Crenshaw tightened his grip on his gun. “I can’t go back without her — you know that. Hand Jack’s kid over and I’ll leave the boy,” he rasped.

Bex’s head tilted from the pressure of the barrel pressing harder against his skin.

Claire’s expression was frightening, even in the darkness. “Do you know what I’ll do to you if you leave a mark on him? Ease up on that barrel, Harry.”

“I’ll go!” I said, desperate to end the standoff.

Crenshaw’s attention jerked toward me, then. “Nina?”

“I’ll go with you. Just leave them alone,” I blurted out, a tear burning down my cheek.

Claire sighed in exasperation, keeping her eyes on Crenshaw. “I’m not going to trade one brother for another, Nina. Stay where you are.”

Crenshaw cocked his weapon and Claire took one hand off her gun and held it palm-out, toward Crenshaw. “Okay. Okay, Harry. I’m laying down my weapon. Easy does it,” she said, moving slowly to lay her gun flat on the floor.

Lillian held her breath and her nails lightly dug into my shoulders.

“Your heart is racing, Crenshaw.” Claire said, standing up slowly with both hands in front of her.

“So?”

“So they warned you about us, didn’t they?”

“Yeah…so?” he sniffed.

“So, when they warned you about Jared and I, and they sent twelve of you to take on two of us, and you all came in here, guns blazing, knowing most of you wouldn’t make it out…,” she raised one eyebrow before getting to her point, “…did they warn you about Bex?”

Crenshaw’s head darted around to each side of him, unclear what Claire meant, but he looked terrified.

A small hand slowly rose into the air. “Nice to meet you, Crenshaw. I’m Bex.”

In the same second Bex’s body blurred in movement, and Crenshaw’s dark form bent unnaturally as he cried out. I heard bones snap as the intruder’s gun fell to the floor. In the next moment, Bex stood over his assailant. In one swift jerk, Bex pulled Crenshaw’s neck and a loud crack pierced the room.

Lillian exhaled as Bex stood over Crenshaw’s broken body. Claire walked over to her slightly taller, younger brother and hugged him.

“I underestimated you,” Claire said, smiling at the overgrown boy in her arms.

“And you said I wouldn’t be able to act scared enough,” he taunted.

“I admit it. I was totally wrong. There for a second I thought you were going to cry like a little girl. He didn’t see you coming for a second,” she said, pressing her fist against his jaw.

Bex playfully punched her in the arm and she ruffled his hair.

“Are you okay, Nina?” Bex asked, turning to me with a concerned expression.

I could only lift the corners of my mouth for a second, grateful when Claire motioned for him to follow her downstairs. I recoiled as I watched Bex step over Harry Crenshaw’s body like he was a piece of furniture.

Jared came through the door moments later, and after surveying the scene, walked straight to me.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, pulling me tightly into his arms.

I nodded. “Where were you?”

“I had to take care of a few things downstairs. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again, holding my cheeks in his hands and scanning my face.

I nodded again, and then my knees buckled. Jared lifted me into his arms and carried me downstairs through the darkness.

“Should I get the lights?” Lillian asked.

“Not yet,” Jared answered.

I heard Claire trot down the stairs and rummage through a cabinet in the bathroom. With a small flashlight in her mouth, she turned to look at her back in the mirror as she flattened a pink Hello Kitty band-aid against a deep cut on her shoulder.

Jared took me outside into the night air. “Take a few slow, deep breaths. You’ll feel better soon.”

I felt a blanket surround me as Lillian kissed my forehead. “I’m so sorry, Baby. We’ll try again another night.”

I couldn’t reply. She acted as if she’d burned the pot roast, not that a group of men had broken into her home and assaulted her family to kidnap one of her guests.

“I need to take Nina home. Claire and Bex can clean up. Call me if there is a problem,” Jared said.

Lillian nodded and kissed her son.

“I am so sorry,” I choked, the guilt crushing me.

Jared’s mother cupped my cheek in her palm and stared at me with deep sympathy. “This is not your fault, Nina. It’s no one’s fault. It is what it is.” She shrugged with a small smile and I tried to return her expression, but I was afraid if I let the numbness escape me for even a moment, I would break down in front of everyone.

Once in the SUV, I asked Jared to take me to Andrews.

“Why?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“I just want to go home,” I said, looking out the window.

Jared traced my fingers with his. “I’d feel better if you stayed with me tonight.”

“I think I…I just want to sleep in my bed,” I said, stumbling over my words. I had made the decision before I got in the car.

“If that’s what you want.” He sighed in resignation, and then turned down a road that led to Brown.

Jared slowly pulled beside the curb and switched off the ignition. Without a word, I pulled on the handle to let myself out.

“Nina?” Jared called as he caught up with me. “I don’t think this is a good idea, you’re not in any condition to be alone.”

“Beth is there,” I said as I continued walking.

He stopped me just as I reached for the door. “You don’t want to be around me tonight, do you?”

I didn’t want to say it. I begged myself not to, but I had to say the words. The tears threatened to fall but I forced them back. “I can’t do this, Jared.”

He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You can’t do what?”

“We have to go back to the way things used to be,” I said, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

I could see the clouds forming in his eyes. “What are you talking about?” he asked warily.

“I….” My lips pressed together, afraid to speak words that would be physically painful to say, “I don’t think we should be together. I don’t see how it can work.”

Jared was instantly angry. “Don’t do this. You think what happened at Lillian’s tonight is your fault.” He gripped my shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Nina.”

“They came to your mother’s house, Jared. For me. If I wasn’t there they wouldn’t have come. Quit saying it’s not my fault. It is.”

Jared’s eyes narrowed. “How do you think this is going to help, exactly? This isn’t the first time someone has been in our home. It’s not the first time Lillian has been in danger. She was married to Jack Grey’s guardian angel, Nina. It sort of comes with the territory.” He relaxed a bit and pulled me to him. “We can take care of ourselves, okay?”

I pulled away from him, surprised at his casual demeanor. “You brought me to meet your family and you expect me not to care what happens to them?”

Jared grabbed my hands and sighed in frustration. I could see that he was desperate for me to see reason. “Nothing happened to them. I realize you were scared, but it was completely under control. You don’t think Bex has seen worse?”

“In his home? In his room? Your eleven year old brother broke a man’s neck in his bedroom, Jared. That’s not normal….”

“We’re not normal!” He took a deep breath to keep his voice calm. “Bex just got home from training with the Marines, Nina. You’re not saving him by doing this. It’s who we are. What do you think you’ll accomplish by pushing me away?” He shook his head and looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.

But I was resolved.

“It’s going to keep them focused on me and out of your mother’s house.”

Jared’s eyes darkened and a grave expression shadowed his face. “So we won’t go back there. If that’s what you want, we’ll stay away from her house.” Jared reached for me, but I moved away.

I shook my head. “They already know who you are. They know where your mother lives. They know about Bex, now. The damage is done, Jared.”

“You’re being unreasonable. This doesn’t make any sense,” he said in a strangled tone.

I looked to the sidewalk. “Don’t make this harder—,”

“Than it already is? Original,” he snapped. “How are we supposed to go about this, Nina? I’m no longer allowed to speak to you or touch you? You expect me to go through that again?”

His pointed question sent a new bolt of guilt shooting through me, and I struggled to keep his pain from overriding the guilt that I felt at Lillian’s.

“I don’t know what I expect, I just know this is too hard…it’s too…I’m going to get your family killed! Don’t you care about that?”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to get them killed. Three out of four of us are Half-breeds, Nina. Twelve well-trained humans couldn’t make it out of our house alive, tonight. You don’t have to do this!”

“Hybrids,” I insisted. “Don’t fight me on this. You know I’m right. They know they can get at one of us with the other.”

“So we’ll solve the problem, not run from it. I can’t believe you’re saying this,” he seethed. “You of all people, who stood in the freezing rain for fifteen minutes because you didn’t want to wait a few more days for me to appease your mother! Who sliced open your hand and nearly broke your arm because you had to talk to me! Two days ago we decided where our wedding will be, Nina! You’re just going to walk away from everything we’ve been fighting for?”

I couldn’t argue, so I simply nodded my head.

Jared grabbed my shoulders. “I don’t believe you.”

“You said I needed normal.” I hesitated; my next words would cut him. “I can’t have a normal life with you.”

Jared’s eyes turned a midnight blue. “Don’t lie to me, Nina. You want out because you’re afraid something will happen to my family if we stay together. I’m telling you, nothing’s going to happen. I’m asking you to trust me.”

I reached my hand up to touch his cheek; his jaws tensed under his skin. “Something will happen. I don’t know what else to do, Jared. We both have to have some sort of a life.”

“I can’t have a life without you. I don’t want a life without you.” He swallowed hard. His face was locked in an agonizing expression.

I pressed my lips together, determined to make him believe the lie. “This isn’t how I want to live. The fear, the guilt, the looking over my shoulder. We can’t even be intimate.”

Jared took my hand and pressed his lips against my knuckles, closing his eyes tight. “Please…please don’t do this. I can’t go back to that.”

I almost gave in. I wanted to, but I stayed focused on the guilt I felt as I told Lillian goodbye. “You have to go.” I placed the loft key in his palm.

“Nina…,” he choked, looking down at his hand as if I had placed a hot coal there.

I reached down to pull his ring from my finger and he grabbed both of my hands. His face crumpled as if he had taken all he could stand. “Don’t break your promise.”

I relaxed my hands down to my sides. He was right, I had promised.

Jared pulled me into him by my shoulders and kissed me deeply — and I let him. I returned his kiss with the same sadness and fear. He held me so tightly I found it hard to breathe, but I didn’t care. I let him hold me and kiss me however he wanted. It would be our last night together.

He abruptly pulled back, just a few inches, but kept me tightly in his arms. “I’ll do what I have to do, Nina. If you want to go away, we’ll go. If you need intimacy, I’ll make love to you. I’ll give you whatever you want. I’ll give up everything I have. I’ll give up my family. We can get in the car right now and just drive— I won’t even look back. Just don’t ask me to do this. I can’t do it. I can’t…,” he choked.

I pulled away from his grip and opened the door. Jared pulled me back into his arms and kissed me again. Once I felt the tears streak down my cheeks I pushed him away, but he kept me against him. I finally had to shove him again and again until he finally let go so that I could get through the door.

The steps to my room were endless. I stayed focused on my mission, refusing to fall apart. Jared had said it himself that he was willing to give up everything for me, including his family…and I couldn’t let him do that. I couldn’t let the Ryels get hurt because of me, whether it was physically or from losing Jared. I couldn’t look Jared in the eye if he lost another person in his family because of the mistakes of my father.

I wiped my face and tucked my hair behind my ears before I opened the door. Beth sat at her computer.

“And she’s home!” Beth said excitedly, spinning around in her desk chair. Her tone quickly changed when she saw my face. “Oh my God, Nina! What’s wrong?”

“Jared and I are over,” I murmured, changing into my pajamas. I wanted to sleep. It was the only thing that would alleviate the wrenching pain in my ribs.

“Didn’t you meet his mother tonight? What happened?”

“All hell broke loose,” I replied, scrubbing my face in the sink.

“Ugh! Why can’t Hell stay where it’s at? Why does it always have to break loose?” she whined.

I tried to smile at her, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate. I couldn’t tell her the truth and I didn’t want to lie. “It just wasn’t working.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve been talking about forever with this guy.”

I looked up at the vent in the ceiling and then back to Beth. “It’s the only way I know how to save him.”

Beth grew quiet. “Save him from what?”

“Me.”