Halo

17 Calm Before the Storm

My relationship with Xavier seemed to deepen after the dinner with my family. We felt we had been given permission to express our emotions without fear of reprisal. We began to think and move in sync with each other, like one entity occupying different bodies. Although we made a conscious effort not to disconnect from everyone around us, at times it just couldn’t be helped. We even tried allocating specific times to spend with other people, but when we did, the minutes seemed to drag and our behavior felt so contrived that we inevitably gravitated back together within the hour.

During lunch Xavier and I had taken to sitting together at our own private table at the back of the cafeteria. People drifted over from time to time to share a joke or ask “Woodsy” about details of a swim meet, but rarely did anyone attempt to join us nor were references made to our relationship. Instead people orbited around us, keeping a respectful distance. If they sensed there were secret issues between us, they at least had the manners not to pry.

“Let’s get out of here,” Xavier said, packing up his books.

“Not until you’ve finished your essay.”

“I’m done.”

“You’ve written three lines.”

“Three carefully considered lines,” Xavier objected. “Quality over quantity, remember?”

“I’m just making sure you stay focused. I don’t want to be responsible for distracting you from your goals.”

“Bit late for that,” Xavier joked. “You’re a huge distraction and a very bad influence.”

“How dare you!” I teased. “It’s impossible for me to be a bad influence on anyone.”

“Really? And why is that?”

“Because I’m goodness personified — I’m so clean I squeak!”

Xavier’s brows furrowed as he pondered this admission. “Hmmm,” he said after a moment. “We’re going to have to do something about that.”

“Any excuse to get out of homework!”

“Maybe it’s more that I have the rest of my life for achieving my goals. Who knows how long I’ve got with you.”

I felt the lightheartedness seep from the conversation as soon as those words were spoken. We usually skirted around this topic — it mostly led to confusion as things do when they’re outside our sphere of control.

“Let’s not think about that.”

“How can I not think about it? Doesn’t it keep you awake at night?”

The conversation was going down a road I didn’t like.

“Of course I think about it,” I said. “But I don’t see the point in spoiling our time together now.”

“I just feel like we should be doing something,” he said angrily. I knew the anger wasn’t directed at me. The fact that there was no one to blame made things even harder. “We should at least be trying.”

“There’s nothing we can do,” I said quietly. “I don’t think you realize what you’re dealing with here. You can’t just mess around with the forces of the universe!”

“What ever happened to free will? Or was that just a myth?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something? I’m not like you so those rules don’t apply to me.”

“Maybe they should.”

“Maybe… but what are we going to do about it, start a petition?”

“That’s not funny, Beth. Do you want to go home?” Xavier asked, his eyes locked with mine.

I knew he wasn’t referring to Byron.

“I can’t believe you even have to ask me that question.”

“Then why doesn’t this bother you as much as it bothers me?”

“If I thought there was any way I could stay here, do you think I would hesitate?” I cried. “Do you think I’d willingly walk away from the most important thing in my life?”

Xavier turned to look at me, his turquoise eyes dark, his mouth narrowed into a hard line. “They, whoever they are, shouldn’t have control over our lives,” he said. “I’m not about to lose you. I’ve been through that before, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Xavier…,” I began, but he silenced me by putting a finger lightly over my lips.

“Just answer me one question. If we were to fight this, what are our options?”

“I don’t know!”

“But are there options, someone we can ask for help, something we can try, even if it’s a long shot?” I looked into his eyes and saw an urgency that had never been there before. Xavier was always so calm and relaxed. “Beth, I need to know,” he said. “Is there a chance? Even a small one?”

“There might be,” I said. “But I’m afraid of finding out.”

“Me too, but we can’t think that way. We have to have faith.”

“Even if it all comes to nothing?”

“You said yourself there was a chance.” Xavier laced his fingers with mine. “That’s all we need.”

Over the last weeks I’d felt a little guilty about distancing myself from Molly, but she had resigned herself to spending time with me whenever Xavier was otherwise occupied. I knew she must be resentful of his monopoly of my time and attention, but Molly was a realist and held the view that friendships had to take a backseat when relationships started — especially if the relationship was as intense as mine and Xavier’s. She seemed to have overcome her previous irritation with him, and although she was far from willing to acknowledge him as her friend, she was much more prepared to accept him as one of mine.

Xavier and I were walking into town one afternoon when we spotted Ivy under an oak tree with a dark-haired senior from Bryce Hamilton. The boy was wearing a backward baseball cap, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to show off his muscular arms, and he kept smirking suggestively as he spoke. I’d never seen my sister look so flustered. The boy had her cornered; she clutched a shopping bag with one hand and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear with the other, clearly seeking a means of escape.

I nudged Xavier. “What’s going on over there?”

“Looks like Chris Bucknall finally worked up the nerve to ask her out,” Xavier said.

“You know him?”

“He’s on my water-polo team.”

“I don’t think he’s Ivy’s type.”

“I’m not surprised,” Xavier said. “He’s a total sleaze.”

“What should we do?”

“Hey, Bucknall,” Xavier called out. “Can I have a word?”

“Little busy here, dude,” the boy replied.

“Did you hear the news?” Xavier said. “Coach wants to see everyone in his office tonight after the game?”

“Yeah? What for?” Chris said without turning around.

“Not sure. Something about taking names for next season’s tryouts. Anyone who doesn’t show doesn’t get in.”

Chris Bucknall looked alarmed. “I gotta go,” he told Ivy. “I’ll catch you later.”

Ivy gave Xavier a grateful smile as Chris sprinted away.

Gabriel and Ivy finally seemed to have accepted Xavier. He didn’t intrude on our space but rather became a regular fixture within it. I began to suspect they actually liked having him around: first, because he was so reliable in terms of keeping an eye on me; and second, because he was useful when it came to working technical gadgets. Gabriel had found his students giving him strange looks when he didn’t know how to work the DVD player, and Ivy wanted to promote her social service program via the school e-mail system. Both had enlisted Xavier’s help. Knowledgeable as my siblings were, technology was a bit of a minefield for them, because it changed constantly. Gabriel had also grudgingly allowed Xavier to show him how to send e-mails to his fellow colleagues at Bryce Hamilton and teach him the workings of an iPod. It seemed to me that Xavier spoke a whole different language sometimes, using alien terms like Bluetooth, gigabyte, and WiFi. If it had been anyone else, I would have switched off, but I loved the sound of his voice, no matter what he was talking about. I could occupy myself for hours watching the way he moved, listening to the way he spoke, committing it all to memory.

Aside from being our tech angel, Xavier took his responsibility as my “bodyguard” so seriously that I found myself having to remind him that I wasn’t made of glass and had managed quite adequately before his arrival. Entrusted to look after me by Gabriel and Ivy, Xavier was determined to keep his word and convince them of his moral fiber. He was the one who reminded me to drink plenty of water and the one who deflected questions about my family from curious classmates. He even took it upon himself to answer for me one day when Mr. Collins asked why I hadn’t managed to finish my homework by the due date.

“Beth has a lot of other commitments at the moment,” he explained. “She’ll get the assignment in by the end of the week.”

I knew that if it slipped my mind, Xavier would complete it for me and hand it in without my knowledge.

He became fiercely protective whenever anybody he didn’t approve of came within a two-foot radius of me.

“Uh-uh.” He shook his head at me when a boy named Tom Snooks asked if I wanted to “hang” with him and his friends one afternoon.

“What’s wrong with him?” I asked crossly. “He seems nice enough.”

“He’s not your type of person.”

“Why?”

“You ask a lot of questions, don’t you?”

“Yes. Now tell me why.”

“Well, because he’s off with the green fairy most of the time.”

I stared at him blankly so that he was forced to elaborate.

“He’s good friends with Puff the Magic Dragon,” Xavier hinted and waited for me to register, rolling his eyes when I didn’t. “You’re a dope.”

If it hadn’t been for Xavier acting as a buffer, my life at Bryce Hamilton would have been a lot more difficult. I had a tendency to get myself into sticky situations. Trouble seemed to seek me out even though I did my best to avoid it. It found me one day as I was crossing the parking lot to get to English.

“Hey there, sweetheart!” I spun around when I heard the voice behind me. It was a lanky senior with slick blond hair and pock-marked skin. He was in my biology class, but he was rarely there. I had seen him out behind the Dumpsters smoking cigarettes and doing burnouts in his car. He was flanked by three other boys, all grinning nastily.

“Hello,” I said nervously.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” He smirked. “I’m Kirk.”

“Nice to meet you.” I didn’t meet his gaze. Something about his attitude made me uneasy.

“Anyone ever told you you’ve got a pretty sweet rack?” Kirk asked. The boys behind him sniggered.

“Excuse me?” I didn’t understand what he meant.

“I’d like to get to know you better — if you know what I mean.” Kirk took a step toward me. I immediately darted away from him. “Don’t be shy, honey,” he said.

“I have to get to class.”

“Sure you can’t spare a few minutes?” He said in a leering drawl. “I’m only after a quickie.” He took hold of my shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Ooh, feistier than she looks.” Kirk laughed and tightened his grip.

“Take your hands off her.” I breathed a sigh of relief as Xavier stepped in front of me, tall and reassuring. I drew instinctively closer to him, relishing the safety of his presence. His hair was pushed away from his face. His familiar turquoise eyes were narrowed with anger.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” said Kirk, dropping his hand. “This isn’t any of your business.”

“Her business is my business.”

“Oh, yeah? You think you can stop me?”

“Touch her again and see what happens,” Xavier warned.

“You wanna make something of this?”

“That’s your call.” Xavier pulled off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. His school tie hung loose, and I saw the crucifix sitting just in the hollow of his throat. The fabric of his school shirt strained against the sculpted muscles in his arms. He was significantly broader in the chest than Kirk, and I saw the other boy do a quick evaluation of his strength.

“Let it go, man,” one of his friends advised and then lowered his voice. “That’s Xavier Woods.”

This seemed to act as a deterrent for Kirk.

“Whatever.” He spit on the ground, threw me a filthy look, and stalked away.

Xavier wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I drew close to him, breathing in his clean, crisp scent.

“Some people really need to be taught some manners,” he said disdainfully. I stared up at him.

“Would you really have gotten into a fight for me?”

“Of course.” He didn’t hesitate.

“But there were four of them.”

“Beth, I’d take on Megatron’s army to protect you.”

“Who?”

Xavier shook his head and laughed.

“I keep forgetting we have different reference points. Let’s just say, I’m not scared of four little punks.”

Xavier didn’t know much about angels, but he knew about people. He knew what they wanted far better than I did and therefore could better judge who to trust and who to keep at a safe distance. I knew that Ivy and Gabriel still worried about the ramifications of our relationship, but I felt that Xavier supplied me with a strength and belief in myself that made me stronger for whatever my role in our mission was meant to be. Although he didn’t really understand the nature of our job on earth, he was suddenly conscious of not distracting me from it. At the same time, his concern for my well-being bordered on obsession as he worried about even the littlest things, like my energy level.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I reminded him one day in the cafeteria. “Despite what Gabriel thinks, I can take care of myself.”

“I’m just doing my job,” he replied. “By the way, have you had lunch today?”

“I’m not hungry. Gabriel always cooks a big breakfast.”

“Here, eat this,” he commanded and pushed a health bar across the table. As an athlete, he always seemed to have an endless supply at any given time. The label told me this one contained cashews, coconut, apricots, and seeds.

“I can’t eat this; it’s got birdseed in it!”

“Those are sesame seeds and they’re full of energy. I don’t want you burning out.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because your blood sugar is probably low — so don’t argue.”

Sometimes it was easier not to argue with Xavier when his objective was taking care of me.

“All right, Mother,” I said, biting into the chewy bar. “By the way, this tastes like cardboard.”

I rested my head on his strong tanned arms, reassured as always by his solidity.

“Sleepy?” he asked.

“Phantom snored right through the night, and I didn’t have the heart to kick him out.”

Xavier sighed and patted my head. “You’re too nice for your own good sometimes. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve only taken one bite out of that bar. Now eat up.”

“Xavier, please, someone might hear you!”

He picked up the bar and waved it through the air making a whistling noise with his mouth. “It’ll be a lot more embarrassing if we have to start playing airplanes.”

“What’s airplanes?”

“A game mothers play to get stubborn children to eat.”

I laughed, and he seized the opportunity of flying the health bar straight into my mouth.

Xavier loved to tell stories about his family and I loved to listen. Whenever he spoke, I found myself enormously distracted by him. Lately his anecdotes revolved around his eldest sister’s upcoming wedding. I often interrupted with questions, hungry for the details he omitted. What color were the bridesmaids’ dresses? What was the name of the young cousin who had been recruited as ring bearer? Who was in favor of a band over a string quartet? Would the bride’s shoes be white satin? Whenever he couldn’t answer, he would promise to find out for me.

As I ate, Xavier explained how his mother and sister were currently butting heads over the wedding arrangements. His sister Claire wanted a ceremony in the local botanical gardens, but his mother said it was too “primitive.” The Woods family were parishioners of Saint Mark’s, and had a long-standing association with the church. Mrs. Woods wanted the wedding held there. During the recent spat, she had threatened not to attend at all if it wasn’t going to be celebrated in a House of God. According to her, vows not exchanged in a sanctified place weren’t even valid. So they’d compromised — the ceremony would be held at the church and the reception at a beachside pavilion. Xavier chuckled as he told me the story, amused by the irrational antics of the females in his family. I couldn’t help thinking how well his mother would get along with Gabriel.

Sometimes I felt removed from this part of Xavier’s life. It was like he was living a double life: one he shared with his family and friends, and then his deep attachment to me.

“Do you ever think we don’t belong together?” I asked, propping my chin on my hands and trying to read his face.

“No, I don’t,” he said without a second’s hesitation. “Do you?”

“Well, I know this wasn’t supposed to happen. Someone upstairs slipped up big time.”

“We are not a mistake,” Xavier insisted.

“No, but I’m saying that we’ve gone against fate. This wasn’t what they planned for us.”

“I’m glad about the mix-up, aren’t you?”

“I am for me. ..”

“But?”

“But I don’t want to become a burden for you.”

“You’re not a burden. You’re infuriating sometimes and you don’t listen to advice, but you’re never a burden.”

“I am not infuriating.”

“I forgot to add that you aren’t the best judge of character either, including your own.”

I ruffled his hair, relishing its silkiness on my fingers. “Do you think your family would like me?” I asked.

“Of course. They trust my judgment about most things.”

“Yes, but what if they thought I’m weird.”

“They’re not like that, but why don’t you find out? Come over and meet them this weekend. I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“I’m not sure,” I hedged. “I’m not comfortable around new people.”

“They’re not new,” he said. “I’ve known them my whole life.”

“I meant new to me.”

“They’re a part of who I am, Beth. It’d mean a lot to me if they got to meet you. They’ve heard enough about you.”

“What have you told them?”

“Just how good you are.”

“I’m not that good or we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Girls who are all good have never really appealed to me. So you’ll come?’

“I’ll think about it.”

I had hoped he would ask and I wanted to say yes but part of me feared feeling different from them. After what I’d heard about his conservative mother, I didn’t want to be judged. Xavier read my face.

“What’s the problem?” he asked.

“If your mother’s religious, she might recognize a fallen angel when she sees one.” It sounded pretty stupid once I’d said it aloud.

“You aren’t a fallen angel. Do you have to be so melodramatic?”

“I’m fallen compared to Ivy and Gabriel.”

“Well, I hardly think my mother’s going to notice. I had to face the God squad, remember? And I didn’t try to squirm my way out of it.”

“You have a point there.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll pick you up Saturday around five. Your lit class is about to start — I’ll walk over with you.”

As I was gathering my books, a peal of thunder echoed through the cafeteria and the sunlight streaming through the windows vanished. The sky had darkened and was threatening rain. We had all known the blissful spring weather wouldn’t last, but it was disappointing just the same. The rainy season could be bitter along this part of the coast.

“The rain’s about to hit,” Xavier observed looking at the skies.

“Good-bye, sun,” I moaned.

No sooner had I spoken than the first fat drops began to fall. The skies opened and soon rain was falling in steady sheets, drumming on the cafeteria roof. I watched students sprinting across the quad, shielding their faces with folders. A couple of junior girls stood in the open, allowing themselves to be drenched and laughing hysterically. They would be in trouble when they finally turned up to class soaked. I saw Gabriel heading to the music wing, a troubled expression on his face. The umbrella he held was slanted by the strong wind that had blown up.

“Coming?” Xavier asked.

“Let’s stay and watch the rain for a while. There’s not much going on in lit right now.”

“Is this bad Beth speaking?”

“I think we need to revise your definition of ‘bad.’ Can’t I stay with you for this lesson?”

“And have your brother accusing me of being a bad influence? Not on your life. By the way, I hear there’s a new student, on exchange from London. I think he’s in your class. Aren’t you a bit curious?”

“Not especially. I have everything I need right here.” I ran my finger along his cheek, tracing its smooth contours.

Xavier removed my finger and kissed the tip before planting it firmly back in my lap. “Listen, this kid might be right up your alley. According to the grapevine, he’s been expelled from three schools already, and he’s been sent here to sort himself out. I guess because it’s far away from anything that might get him into trouble. His dad’s some media mogul or something. Interested now?”

“Maybe — just a little.”

“Well, go to class and check him out. Maybe you can help him.”

“Okay, Xavier, but I already have a conscience and it gives me enough of a hard time. I don’t need another one.”

“Love you too, Beth.”

When I looked back on this day later, I would remember the rain and Xavier’s face. That change in the weather also marked a change in our lives; one that none of us could have seen coming. My life on earth up till then had been filled with minor drama and the angst of youth, but I was about to learn that these troubles had been child’s play compared with what found us next. I suppose it served to teach us a lot about what was important in life. I don’t think we could have avoided it; it was part of our story from the very beginning. After all, things had been running relatively smoothly; we were bound to hit a bump. We just didn’t expect it to hit so hard.

The bump came all the way from England and had a name: Jake Thorn.