Halo

14 Defying Gravity

All week long the beach bonfire loomed in my mind. What I planned to do terrified me, but I was also strangely excited. Once the decision was made, it felt as though a great weight had lifted from my mind. After all the time I’d spent in internal debate, I now felt surprisingly sure of myself. In my head I rehearsed over and over the words I would use to tell Xavier the truth, making subtle adjustments each time.

Xavier was now behaving as though we were a couple, which I loved. It put us in our own exclusive world that no one else had access to. It meant that we took our relationship seriously and believed it had a future. It wasn’t some infatuation we were likely to outgrow. We were making a commitment to each other. Every time I thought about this, I couldn’t keep my face from cracking into a broad smile. Of course I remembered Ivy and Gabriel’s warning and their belief that there was no chance of a future for us, but somehow that didn’t matter anymore. I felt like the skies could open and rain fire and brimstone, but nothing could wipe the smile from my face. That was the effect he had on me — an explosion of happiness in my chest, scattering like little beads and making my whole body shiver and tingle.

A life with Xavier was full of promise. But would he still want that when I revealed my identity to him?

I tried to conceal my elation from Ivy and Gabriel. It had taken them long enough to recover from my last escapade with Xavier, and I didn’t think they could handle another one. Whenever I sat down with them I felt like a double agent and kept wondering whether my face might betray me. But just because my siblings could read human minds, didn’t mean they could read mine, and my acting skills must have improved because my new enthusiasm passed without comment. It struck me that I finally had an understanding of the expression “the calm before the storm.” Everything seemed to be going smoothly, but I knew that appearances could be deceptive. There was an explosion waiting to happen. Tension, anger, and guilt were bubbling below the surface of our happy-family act, ready to erupt the moment Ivy and Gabriel discovered my betrayal.

“One of my juniors asked me today if there’s such a thing as Limbo,” Gabriel said over dinner one night. I found it ironic that the conversation had turned to punishment for sins.

Ivy put down her fork. “What did you say?”

“I said nobody knows.”

“Why didn’t you say yes?” I asked.

“Because good deeds have to be voluntary,” my brother explained. “If a person knows for sure they’ll be judged, then they’ll act accordingly.”

I couldn’t argue with that. “What’s Limbo like anyway?” I knew enough about Heaven and Hell, but no one had ever told me about the eternal midpoint.

“It comes in several different forms,” said Ivy. “It can be a waiting room, a train station.”

“Some souls say it’s worse than Hell,” Gabriel added.

“That’s ridiculous,” I scoffed. “What could be worse?”

“Eternal nothingness,” said Ivy. “Year upon year of waiting for a train that’s never coming, waiting for someone to call your name. People start to lose all sense of time, it blurs into one never-ending stretch. They beg to go to Heaven, try to throw themselves into Hell, but there is no way out. The souls wander aimlessly. And it never ends, Bethany. Centuries can go by on earth and they will still be there.”

“Sounds like crap,” was all I could think to say. Gabriel and Ivy looked surprised for a moment before bursting into laughter.

I wondered if an angel could be exiled to Limbo.

At Tuesday lunchtime I sat with Molly and the girls on the lawn in the afternoon sunshine. Around us green buds tipped the branches of the trees, bringing everything back to life. The imposing main building of Bryce Hamilton loomed behind us, casting a shadow over the benches arranged in a circle around the broad trunk of an ancient oak with ivy twining around its trunk in an amorous embrace. If we looked west, we had a view of the ocean in the distance stretching to the horizon, clouds drifting lazily overhead. The girls lounged on the lush grass, letting the sun warm their faces. I was feeling bold and ventured to tug my skirt up above my knees.

“Way to go, babe!” The girls applauded my progress, commenting that I was becoming “one of them” before falling into their usual routine of gossiping about teachers and absent friends.

“Miss Lucas is such a cow,” Megan complained. “She’s making me redo my Russian Revolution assignment because it was too ‘sloppy.’ What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think it means you did it in the half hour before it was due,” Hayley said. “What did you expect — an A plus?”

Megan shrugged. “I reckon she’s just jealous because she’s hairy as a yeti.”

“You should write a letter of complaint,” a girl named Tara said with a serious expression. “She’s totally discriminating against you.”

“I agree she’s defs picking on you,” Molly began, and then fell suddenly silent, her gaze locked on a figure striding across the lawn.

I turned to identify the source of her fixation and saw Gabriel making his way toward the music center, some distance from where we sat. He cut a solitary figure with his faraway look and a guitar case slung over one shoulder. He had abandoned school protocol regarding dress sense some time ago, and today he was wearing his torn jeans with a white T-shirt under a pin-striped vest. No one had dared to query it. And why would they? Gabriel was so popular there would have been uproar among the students if he resigned. I noticed that Gabe looked so at ease with his surroundings. He had an easy gait and his movements were fluid. He seemed to be coming in our direction, which made Molly sit bolt upright and frantically smooth down her wild curls. Gabriel, however, suddenly cut across in a different direction. Lost in his own thoughts, he hadn’t as much as glanced in our direction. Molly looked crestfallen.

“What can we say about Mr. Church?” Taylah speculated when she spotted him, eager to resume their usual sport. I had been quiet for so long, absorbed in my fantasy of being stranded on a secluded island somewhere in the Caribbean or held captive on a pirate ship, waiting for Xavier to come and rescue me, that it seemed they had temporarily forgotten I was there. Otherwise they might have reconsidered discussing Gabriel in my presence.

“Nothing,” said Molly defensively. “He’s a legend.”

I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. I knew her fascination with Gabriel had grown in recent times, fueled by his remoteness. I didn’t want Molly to suffer the rebuff that would inevitably follow from this infatuation. Gabriel was made of stone, metaphorically speaking, and was incapable of reciprocating her feelings. He was as detached from human life as the sky is from the earth. When he looked at humankind, he saw only souls in peril, barely even distinguishing men from women. I could see that Molly was under the delusion that Gabriel operated like the other young men she knew; full of hormones and unable to resist feminine allure if the girl in question played her cards right. But Molly had no idea what Gabriel was. He might have taken human form, but unlike me, he was far removed from anything human. In Heaven he was known as the Angel of Justice.

“He’s a little uptight,” Tara said.

“He is not!” Molly snapped. “You don’t even know him.”

“And you do?”

“I wish I did.”

“Well, keep wishing.”

“He’s a teacher,” Megan interrupted, “and in his twenties.”

“Music teachers are kind of on the fringe,” said Molly optimistically.

“Yeah, on the fringe of the staff,” said Taylah. “Get over it, Molls, he’s out of our league.”

Molly narrowed her eyes as if she’d been issued a challenge. “I don’t know about that,” she said. “I like to think he’s in a league of his own.”

There was a sudden awkward silence as they remembered my presence. The subject was quickly dropped.

“So,” said Megan a little too brightly. “About the prom…”

When Xavier dropped me off at home that afternoon, I found Ivy icing cupcakes. There was a smudge of flour across the bridge of her nose, and her eyes sparkled as though she was captivated by the whole process. She had lined up all her ingredients neatly in assorted measuring cups, and now she was arranging her sprinkles so they formed perfectly symmetrical designs. It was something that no human hand could have managed. They looked like miniature artworks rather than something designed to be eaten. She presented me with one as soon as I came in.

“They look great,” I said. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think there’s any chance Gabriel will let me go to the school dance?”

Ivy stopped what she was doing and looked up.

“Xavier asked you, didn’t he?”

“What if he did?” I was suddenly defensive.

“Calm down, Bethany,” my sister said. “He’d look very handsome in a tuxedo.”

“You mean you don’t see a problem with it?”

“No, I think you’d make a lovely couple.”

“Maybe, if I make it there at all.”

“Don’t be so negative,” Ivy chided. “We’ll have to see what Gabriel thinks, but it is a school event and it would be a shame to miss it.”

I was impatient to hear the verdict. I dragged Ivy outside, and we scoured the beach for Gabriel, where he was taking a walk. The shoreline wound in one direction up to the main beach, where bodysurfers rode the waves and ice cream vans set up shop beneath the palms. In the other direction, if your eye traveled far enough, were the jagged cliffs of the wild Shipwreck Coast and a rocky outcrop known as the Crags. The area was famous for its dangerously high winds, choppy seas, and fierce rips. Divers occasionally searched for wreckage from the many ships that had gone down there over the years, but usually the only visitors were the gulls bobbing harmlessly on the water.

We spotted our brother seated on a prominent rock, looking out to sea. With the sun reflecting off his white T-shirt, he seemed to be surrounded by an aura of light. He was too far away for me to see his face, but I imagined his expression as one of deep longing. Sometimes there was an inexpressible sadness about Gabriel that he struggled to conceal. I thought it must be due to the burden of knowledge that couldn’t be shared. He was more attuned to human suffering than Ivy and I, and this couldn’t have been easy for him to bear alone. He knew all the horrors of the past, and I imagined he could see tragedies that were yet to occur. No wonder he was somber. But there wasn’t anyone he could confide in. His service to the Creator of the universe resulted in his own isolation. This gave him an austerity of manner that made those who didn’t know him uncomfortable. The young adored him, but adults invariably felt as if they were being judged.

Sensing that he was being observed, Gabriel turned his face in our direction. I took a step back, feeling that we were intruding on his solitude, but as soon as he saw us, the clouded expression vanished and he waved, indicating we should join him.

When we reached him, he helped us both up onto the rocks, and we all sat together for a while. In that moment I thought he seemed more at ease than he’d been in a long time.

“Why do I feel an ambush coming on?” Gabriel joked.

“Please can I go to the prom?” I chimed.

Gabriel shook his head in amusement. “I didn’t realize you wanted to go. I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“It’s just that everybody’s going,” I said. “It’s all they’ve talked about for months. They’d be so disappointed if I skipped it. It means a lot to them.” I tapped him lightly on the arm. “Don’t tell me you’re planning on missing it.”

“I’d love to miss it, but I’ve been asked to supervise,” he replied, looking less than pleased at the prospect. “I don’t know how they come up with these ideas. The whole thing seems an extravagant waste of time and money to me.”

“It’s still part of being at school,” Ivy said. “Why not look at it as research?”

“Exactly,” I said. “We’ll be in the thick of things. If we wanted to watch from the outskirts, we might as well have stayed in the Kingdom.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with dressing up now, would it?” Gabriel asked.

“Never!” I said, sounding shocked. “Well, maybe just a little.”

He sighed. “I suppose it’s just for one night.”

“And you’ll be there to keep an eye on things,” I added.

“Ivy, I was hoping you’d accompany me,” Gabriel said.

“Of course.” My sister clapped her hands. It was just like her to get excited once a consensus had been reached. “It’ll be great!”

Saturday evening was balmy and clear, perfect for a beach bonfire. The sky was blue velvet, and a gentle breeze from the south swayed the trees, making them look as though they were bowing to one another. I should have been feeling on edge, but in my head everything made perfect sense. I was about to cement my connection with Xavier by bringing our conflicting worlds together.

I paid special attention to what I should wear that night and chose a loose-fitting dress made of soft white crepe with a bow at the back. Gabriel and Ivy were in the living room when I went downstairs. Gabe was reading the minuscule print of a religious text with the aid of a magnifying glass. It was such an incongruous sight given his youthful physique that I had to suppress a giggle. Ivy was vainly attempting to train Phantom to obey basic commands.

“Sit, Phantom,” she said in the kind of gooey voice people usually reserve for infants. “Sit for Mommy.”

I knew Phantom wouldn’t obey so long as she adopted that tone with him. He was a very intelligent dog and didn’t like being patronized. I imagined the expression on his face to be one of disdain.

“Don’t be too long,” Gabriel cautioned me.

He knew I was going to take an evening walk along the beach with some friends, and he also knew that Xavier would be among them. He’d raised no objection to this, so I figured he must be mellowing on the topic of my social life. The weight of our mission meant that sometimes each of us simply needed to escape from the task. Nobody protested when he went for a solitary run or when Ivy locked herself away in the guesthouse with only her sketchbook for company. So there was no reason why I shouldn’t be allowed the same courtesy when I needed time out.

They trusted me enough not to ask too many questions, and I hated myself for the way I was about to betray them. But there was no question of backing out now — I wanted to invite Xavier into my secret world, I craved the intimacy. Mingled with my determination was a nagging fear that such a contravention would result in serious punishment. But I forced the worry from my mind and filled it instead with an image of Xavier’s face. After tonight we would face everything together.

I didn’t intend staying out long — just long enough to tell Xavier my secret and deal with whatever his reaction might be. I had been over and over the possible outcomes in my head and had finally narrowed them down to three. He could be enthralled, appalled, or frightened. Would he think I belonged in a museum? Would he even believe the truth when I finally mustered the nerve to say it aloud or would he think it was an elaborate hoax? I was about to find out.

“Bethany’s quite capable of looking after herself,” said Ivy. “Sit, Phantom! Sit down!”

“It’s not Bethany — it’s the rest of the world I’m worried about,” said Gabriel. “We’ve seen some of the stupid things that go on. Just be careful and keep your eyes open.”

“Will do!” I said, giving him a military salute and ignoring the sharp pang of guilt in my chest. Gabriel wasn’t going to forgive this one in a hurry.

“Sit, Phantom!” Ivy cooed. “On your bottom!”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake!” Gabriel put down his book and pointed a long finger at Phantom. “Sit,” he commanded in a deep voice.

Phantom looked sheepish and sank straight to the floor.

Ivy scowled in frustration. “I’ve been trying to get him to do that all day! What is it with dogs and male authority?”

I ran lightly down the narrow steps to the scrubby track leading to the beach. Sometimes there were snake tracks in the sand and the occasional lizard darted across the path. Twigs snapped underfoot and the trees grew so dense in places that they formed a canopy over my head through which only slivers of the setting sun’s light managed to slip. An orchestra of cicadas drowned out all sound save for the roaring of the ocean. I knew that if I lost my way I could always follow the sound of the sea.

I reached the silky, white sand of the beach, which squeaked under my feet. The location for the bonfire was out near the cliffs because everybody knew it would be deserted. I headed along the beach, thinking how much more rugged the landscape looked at night. There was nobody around save for a lone fisherman casting his line from the shore. I watched him reel in and inspect his catch before throwing its thrashing body back to the waves. I noticed that the ocean varied in color: inky blue at its deepest point where it met the horizon; closer to aquamarine in the middle; and the waves that lapped at the shore were pale green and glassy. In the distance I could see a promontory jutting out, and at its top was perched a white lighthouse. It looked about the size of a thimble from where I stood.

By now it was getting dark. Up ahead I heard the sound of voices and then saw figures piling notes, exam papers, worksheets, and other flammable items into a large mound in preparation for the bonfire. There was no blaring music or a mass of seething bodies as there had been at Molly’s party. Instead the few present lay around on the sand, taking swigs from bottles of beer and sharing crumpled cigarettes. Molly and her friends hadn’t arrived yet.

Xavier was sitting on a fallen log half buried in the sand. He wore jeans, a floppy pale blue sweatshirt, and the silver cross around his neck. He held a half-empty bottle and was laughing at an impersonation by one of the boys. The firelight dancing across his face made him look more entrancing than ever.

“Hey, Beth,” someone called out, and the others acknowledged me with waves and nods. Had people finally stopped treating us as “newsworthy” and just accepted that we now came as a package deal? I smiled shyly at everyone and quickly slid in beside Xavier where I felt secure.

“You smell amazing,” Xavier said as he bent to kiss the top of my head. A few of his friends whistled and nudged him or rolled their eyes.

“Come on.” He helped me up. “Let’s go.”

“Leaving already?” one of his friends joked.

“Just going for a walk,” Xavier said in good humor. “If that’s okay with you.”

A few catcalls followed us as we strolled away from the group and the warmth of the fledgling bonfire. They came from Xavier’s closest circle of friends so I knew their intention was not to offend. Soon their voices had petered to a distant hum.

“Xavier, I can’t stay out long.”

“I figured that much.”

He slung an arm casually around my shoulders as we headed up the beach in silence, toward the jagged cliffs, now nothing more than serrated silhouettes against the midnight sky. The warm pressure of Xavier’s arm made me feel safe and protected from everything. I knew as soon as I left him that cold uncertainty would return.

When I cut my foot on the sharp edge of a shell, Xavier insisted on carrying me. I was grateful that in the darkness he couldn’t see the cut heal of its own accord. Even though the pain in my foot had subsided, I continued to cling to him, enjoying his attention. I relaxed my body, allowing it to meld with his. In my enthusiasm to get close, I accidentally poked him in the eye. I felt as clumsy as a schoolgirl when I should have been as graceful as an angel. I apologized profusely.

“It’s okay, I’ve got another one,” he joked, his eye watering from the jab. He squinted and blinked, trying to clear it.

He put me down when we reached a sandy inlet shadowed by the looming cliff face. The jagged rocks formed an ancient archway, like a portal to another world, and the moonlight turned the sand a pearly blue color. A steep flight of steps led to the top of the cliff, which offered the best view of the lighthouse. In the water scattered rock formations rose like monoliths. People hardly ever ventured out this way except for the occasional group of tourists. Most were happy to hang around the main beach, where the cafés and souvenir shops were a short stroll away. The spot was completely secluded — there wasn’t anything or anybody within view. The only sound was the pounding of the sea, like a hundred voices speaking in a mysterious tongue.

Xavier sat down and rested his back against the cool rock. I hovered next to him, not wanting to delay the inevitable any longer but without the faintest idea how to start. We both knew why we’d come: I had something I wanted to get off my chest. I imagined it had been on Xavier’s mind as well as mine, but he had no idea what was coming.

He waited for me to speak, but my mouth felt as dry as a cracker. This was supposed to be my moment. I’d planned to reveal my true identity to him tonight. All week I’d felt as if time was moving slowly, the hours inching by at a snail’s pace. But now that the moment had finally arrived, I seemed to be buying more time. I was like an actor who’d forgotten her lines, even though the rehearsal had been flawless. I knew the gist of what I was supposed to say, but I had forgotten how I was meant to say it, the gestures that should accompany it, the timing of the delivery. I paced up and down the sand, twisting my hands and wondering where and how to begin. Despite the warmth of the night, I shivered. My hesitation was starting to make Xavier uncomfortable.

“Whatever it is, Beth, just get it over with. I can handle it.”

“Thanks, but it’s a little more complicated than that.”

I’d been over the scene in my head a hundred times, but now the words died on my tongue.

Xavier stood up and put both hands reassuringly on my shoulders. “You know, whatever you’re about to tell me won’t change my opinion of you. It can’t.”

“Why can’t it?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m crazy about you.”

“Really?” I said, pleasantly sidetracked by his pronouncement.

“So you hadn’t noticed? That’s not a good thing — I’m going to have to be more demonstrative in future.”

“That’s if you still want us to have a future after tonight.”

“Once you get to know me better, you’ll learn that I don’t run away. I take a long time to make decisions about people, but once I do, I stick by them.”

“Even when you’re wrong?”

“I don’t believe I’m wrong about you.”

“How can you say that when you don’t know what I’m about to tell you?” I muttered.

Xavier opened his arms wide, as though inviting me to hit him with the truth.

“Let me prove it to you.”

“I can’t,” I said, my voice catching. “I’m scared. What if you never want to see me again?”

“That isn’t going to happen, Beth,” he said more forcefully. He lowered his voice and spoke seriously. “I know this is hard for you, but you’re going to have to trust me.”

I looked into his eyes, like two blue pools, and knew that he was right. And I did trust him.

“First tell me something,” I said. “What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?”

Xavier thought for a moment.

“Well, being at the top of a hundred-foot rappel drop was pretty scary, and once when I was traveling with the under-fourteen state water-polo team, I broke one of the rules and Coach Benson took me outside. He’s a pretty scary guy when he wants to be and ripped me to shreds. He banned me from the game against Creswell the next day.”

For the first time I was struck by Xavier’s human innocence; if this was his definition of a frightening experience, what chance was there of him surviving the bombshell I was about to drop?

“Is that it?” I asked. The words came out sounding harsher than I intended. “That’s your scariest moment?”

He looked me in the eye. “Well, I guess you could count the night I got a phone call telling me my girlfriend had died in a fire. But I don’t really want to go there. ..”

“I’m sorry.” I looked at the ground. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid as to forget about Emily. Xavier knew about loss and grief and pain that I’d never experienced.

“Don’t be.” He took my hand. “Just listen to me; I saw the family after it happened. They were all standing on the road, and I thought for a moment that everything was okay. I expected to see her with them. I was ready to comfort her. But then I saw her mom’s face — like she didn’t have a reason for living anymore — and I knew. It wasn’t just their house that was gone, Em was gone too.”

“That’s awful,” I whispered, feeling my eyes brim with tears. Xavier wiped them away with his thumb.

“I’m not telling you to upset you,” he said. “I’m telling you because I want you to know that you can’t scare me. You can tell me anything. I won’t run away.”

So I took a deep breath and began the speech that would change both our lives forever.

“I want you to know that if you still want me after tonight, then there’s nothing that would make me happier.” Xavier smiled and started to reach for me but I stopped him. “Let me get this over with first. I’m going to try and explain in the best way I can.”

He nodded, crossed his arms, and gave me his undivided attention. For a split second I saw him as a schoolboy at the front of the class, eager to please and awaiting the teacher’s instructions.

“I know this might sound crazy,” I said, “but I want you to watch me walk.”

I saw a flicker of confusion cross his face, but he didn’t question me.

“Okay.”

“But don’t look at me, look at the sand.”

Without taking my eyes from his face, I moved in a slow, deliberate circle around him. “What did you notice?” I asked.

“You don’t leave footprints,” Xavier replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Cool party trick, but you probably need to eat more.”

So far so good — he wasn’t easily fazed. I smiled grimly and sat down beside him, turning my foot around so he could see the sole. The soft, peach-colored skin was unbroken.

“I cut my foot before. ..”

“But there’s no cut,” Xavier said, his forehead creasing into a frown. “How did that…”

Before he could finish I took his hand and placed it on my stomach.

“Notice the difference?” I said with a hint of bluntness in my voice.

His fingers gently traced their way across my abdomen. His hand stopped when he reached dead center, and he pressed down lightly, his thumb searching for the indentation of my navel.

“You won’t find it,” I said before he could speak. “It’s not there.”

“What happened to you?” Xavier asked. He must have imagined that I’d been in some kind of accident from which I’d never fully recovered.

“Nothing happened to me, this is who I am.”

I could almost see him trying to put the pieces together in his mind.

“Who are you?” It was barely a whisper.

“I’m about to show you. Would you mind closing your eyes? And don’t open them till I tell you.”

When I was sure his eyes were shut tight, I sprinted, three at a time, up the steep steps in the cliff face. I tiptoed my way along until I stood precariously close to the edge, with Xavier directly below me. The ground was lumpy and uneven but I kept my balance. It was roughly about a thirty-foot drop, but the height didn’t deter me. I just hoped I would be able to go through with my plan. I could feel my heart thumping, almost turning somersaults in my chest. I could hear two voices shouting over each other in my head. What are you doing? one cried. Have you lost your mind? Get down, go home! It’s not too late to do the right thing! The other voice had different ideas. You’ve gone this far, it said. You can’t back out now. You know how much you want him — you’ll never be with him if you don’t do this. Fine, be a coward and walk away, let him move on and forget all about you. I hope you enjoy eternal solitude.

I clapped a hand over my mouth to stop myself from crying out in frustration. There was no point dwelling on it any longer. I had made my decision.

“You can open your eyes,” I called down to Xavier.

When he did, he looked around in surprise to find me gone before turning his gaze upward. I waved when he spotted me.

“What are you doing up there?” I heard a splinter of panic in his voice. “Beth, that’s not funny. Come down right now before you hurt yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I’m coming down,” I said. “My way.”

I took a step forward so that I was teetering on the cliff’s edge and shifted my weight to balance on the balls of my feet. The uneven rock scraped my skin but I hardly noticed. I felt like I was already flying, and more than anything I wanted to feel the rush of wind in my hair again.

“Cut that out, Beth! Don’t move, I’m coming up to get you!” I heard Xavier yell, but I wasn’t listening to him anymore. As the wind whipped my clothes, I spread my arms and let myself fall from the cliff. If I had been human, my stomach might have shot up into my throat, but the drop only made my heart soar and my body buzz with exhilaration. I plummeted toward the ground, relishing the sharp sting of the air against my cheeks. Xavier cried out and ran to catch me, but his efforts were futile. This was one time when I didn’t need rescuing. Midway to the ground, I dropped my arms and allowed the transformation to take place. A blinding light shot from inside my body, shining from every pore and making my skin glow like white hot metal. I saw Xavier shield his eyes and draw back. I felt my wings burst from behind my shoulder blades. They exploded through the confines of my dress, tearing the light fabric to ribbons. Fully expanded, they cast a long shadow across the sand as though I were some sort of majestic bird.

Xavier had dropped to a crouch, and I knew that the pulsing light was blinding him. I felt exposed and naked hovering there, my wings beating the air to hold me up but also strangely elated. I felt the tendons in my wings stretch, eager for more exercise. They spent so much time cramped beneath my clothes these days. I resisted the urge to fly higher and dive through the clouds. I allowed myself to hover a moment before I swooped to the ground where I landed gently on the sand. The blazing incandescence that surrounded me dimmed once my feet reconnected with solid earth.

Xavier rubbed his eyes and blinked, trying to regain his vision. Finally he saw me. He took a step back, face stunned, hands hanging limply by his sides as if they should be doing something but he couldn’t think what. I stood before him, light still clinging to my skin. The remnants of my dress hung like tentacles and from my back arched a pair of towering wings, feather-light but suggesting enormous power. My hair streamed behind me, and I knew that the ring of light around my head would be brighter than ever.

“Holy crap!” Xavier blurted.

“Would you mind not blaspheming?” I asked politely. He stared at me, grappling for the right words. “I know.” I sighed. “Bet you didn’t see this one coming.” I waved a hand in the direction of the beach. “Feel free to leave now if you want.”

Xavier stood motionless for a moment, staring at me wide-eyed. Then he circled me slowly, and I felt him brush his fingers ever so gently against my wings. Although they looked heavy, they were as thin as parchment and weighed next to nothing. I could see from his face that he was marveling at the fragile white feathers and tiny membranes that were visible beneath the diaphanous skin.

“Whoa,” he said, lost for words. “That’s so…”

“Freaky?”

“Incredible,” he said. “But what are you? You can’t be…”

“An angel?” I said. “Jackpot.”

Xavier rubbed the bridge of his nose as though trying to make sense of everything in his head. “This can’t be real,” he said eventually. “I don’t get it.”

“Of course you don’t,” I said. “My world and yours are legions apart.”

“Your world?” he asked incredulously. “This is insane.”

“What is?”

“This stuff is all fantasy. It just doesn’t happen in real life!”

“This is real,” I said. “I’m real.”

“I know,” he replied. “The scariest part is that I believe you. Sorry I just need a minute. ..”

He sank down on the sand, his face contorted like someone trying to solve an impossible riddle. I tried to imagine what was going on in his head. It must be chaotic. He must have so many questions.

“Are you angry?” I asked.

“Angry?” he repeated. “Why would I be angry?”

“Because I didn’t tell you sooner?”

“I’m just trying to get my head around this,” he said.

“I know it can’t be easy. Take your time.”

He was silent for a long while. The convulsive rise and fall of his chest suggested that an internal struggle was taking place. He stood and slowly passed his hand in a semicircle around my head. I knew his fingers would pick up the warmth emitted by my halo.

“Okay, so angels exist,” he conceded eventually, speaking slowly as though trying to explain things to himself. “But what are you doing here on earth?”

“Right now there are thousands of us in human guise spread right across the globe,” I answered. “We’re part of a mission.”

“A mission to achieve what?”

“It’s hard to explain. We’re here to help people reconnect with one another, to love one another.” Xavier looked confused so I tried to elaborate. “There’s too much anger in the world, too much hatred. It’s stirring the dark forces and raising them up. Once they’re unleashed, it’s near impossible to tame them. It’s our job to try and counteract that negativity, to prevent any more disaster from happening. This place has been pretty badly affected.”

“So you’re saying the bad things that have happened here are because of dark forces?”

“Pretty much.”

“And by dark forces I take it you mean the devil?”

“Well, his representatives at least.”

Xavier looked like he was about to laugh, but then stopped himself.

“This is crazy. Who’s supposed to have sent you on this mission?”

“I thought that part might be obvious.”

Xavier gazed at me in disbelief.

“You don’t mean…”

“Yes.”

Xavier looked shaken, like he’d been tossed around by a hurricane and thrown back down to earth. His fingers scraped the hair back from his forehead.

“Are you telling me that God really exists?”

“I’m not allowed to talk about it,” I said, thinking it best to cut this conversation off before it went any further. “Some things are beyond human understanding. I’d get into a lot of trouble for trying to explain it. We shouldn’t even speak his name.”

Xavier nodded.

“But there is an afterlife?” he said. “A heaven?”

“Without a doubt.”

“So…” He rubbed his chin pensively. “If there’s a Heaven, it stands to reason that… there must also be…”

I finished his thought. “Yes, there’s that too. But please, no more questions for now.”

Xavier massaged his temples as though trying to figure out the best way to process all this information.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know it must be overwhelming.”

He dismissed my concern, more focused on getting a cogent picture in his head. “Just let me get this straight,” he said. “You’re angels on a mission to help mankind and you’ve been assigned to Venus Cove?”

“Actually Gabriel’s an archangel,” I corrected. “But otherwise, yes.”

“Well, that explains why he’s so hard to impress,” said Xavier flippantly.

“You’re the only person that knows this,” I said. “You can’t breathe a word of it to anyone.”

“Who am I going to tell?” he asked. “Who would believe me anyway?”

“Good point.”

He laughed suddenly.

“My girlfriend is an angel,” he said and then repeated it more loudly, changing the emphasis, testing out how the words sounded. “My girlfriend is an angel.”

“Xavier, keep your voice down,” I warned.

Spoken aloud it sounded so outrageous and yet so simple at the same time that I couldn’t help but giggle as well. To anyone else, Xavier’s use of the word angel would have sounded like nothing more than a lovesick teenager professing his admiration. Only the two of us knew differently and now we both shared a secret — a dangerous secret that brought us closer than ever. It was as if we had just sealed the bond between us, closed the gap, and made it final.

“I was so worried that you wouldn’t want to know me once you found out.” I sighed, relief flooding through me.

“Are you kidding?” Xavier reached out and curled a lock of my hair around his finger. “Surely I’ve got to be the luckiest guy in the world.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’ve got my own little piece of Heaven right here.”

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I nuzzled against his chest, breathing in his scent.

“Can you promise not to ask too many questions?”

“If you answer just one,” Xavier replied. “I suppose this makes you and me a big no-no?” He clicked his tongue and wagged his finger to emphasize the point. I was happy to see that the shock had passed and that he was behaving a little more like his old self.

“Not just big,” I said. “The biggest.”

“Don’t worry, Beth; there’s nothing I love more than a challenge.”