A Farce To Be Reckoned With

Chapter 5

Good dog. Now go lie in the corner," Westfall said. The half-grown Old English sheepdog looked at him and barked.

"He's not very well trained," Westfall said.

"Hey, you didn't say anything about him being trained," Hermes replied. "He's got a pedigree as long as your arm."

"He's a good-looking dog," Westfall acknowledged, "and the gold pieces are satisfactory." He had a mess of them in a small stout leather bag at his feet.

"I'm glad you're satisfied," Hermes said. "Now if you will just tell this amulet that you release me and that I am no longer in your power, we can each of us get on with our own business."

"Not so fast!" Westfall said. "I still have a number of wishes I want you to grant."

"But I'm busy!" Hermes complained.

"You must be patient. I'll need you around for a while longer, my dear Trismegistus, and if you do what I ask, after that I'll consider releasing you."

"That's not fair!" Hermes said. "I'm willing to grant you a wish or two out of respect for your ill-gotten talisman, but you're taking advantage of the situation."

"Magic is there to take advantage of people with," Westfall said.

"Don't press your luck," Hermes said. "You don't know what you're playing around with here."

"Enough of this talk," Westfall said. "Listen carefully, Hermes. Earlier, before I conjured you, the talisman gave me somebody else. A woman. A very beautiful woman. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

Hermes Trismegistus closed his eyes and concentrated. Then he opened his eyes again.

"My sense of postcognition tells me you conjured up one of God's angels, a former witch named Ylith."

"How did you know that?" Westfall asked.

"Second sight is one of my attributes," Hermes said. "If you'll release me, I'll teach you the way of it."

"Never mind. What I want is for you to bring that lady —Ylith, you called her? I want you to bring her to me."

"I don't care if she wants to or not," Westfall said. "The sight of her has inflamed my imagination. I want her."

"Ylith is going to love this," Hermes remarked aside. He knew she was a strong-minded lady who had been fighting for feminine spiritual equality in the cosmos long before the concept was even conceived of on Earth.

"She will have to get used to me," Westfall said. "I intend to possess that lady in all the ways a man may possess a maid."

"I can't make her agree to that," Hermes said. "There's a limit to my powers; they stop at having any influence over the feminine psyche."

"You don't have to make her agree to anything," Westfall said. "I'll do that myself. You merely have to put her in my power."

Hermes thought for a while, then said, "Westfall, I have to be frank with you. Possession of magic has overborne your good sense. This thing with Ylith is not a good idea. You're meddling with something here you don't want to get anywhere near."

"Be silent! Do as I say!" His eyes were wide and shining.

"Have it your own way," Hermes said, and he conjured himself out of there, marveling at the unerring way humans had of getting themselves into trouble. And he was beginning to see the glimmering of a plan that might bring benefit to himself and the other Olympians who were now cooped up in the unreal world known as Afterglow. But first he was going to have to procure Ylith for Westfall, and that might prove more than a little difficult.