USSR Hoax

26 LUNAR ROVER

Tom felt every ache and pain throughout his body. Every little noise echoed in his ears. The faint sunlight squeezing through the window shade penetrated his closed eyes. Come on, Tom, get to sleep! He squeezed his eyelids tighter, which only made his mind race more. Discouraged, he popped his eyes open and stared up at the LM’s ceiling a few feet above his face. After sleeping like a baby the night before in Explorer, he was disappointed he wasn’t able to get needed shuteye during the mandatory rest period. He had gone over in his head both the schedule for their final EVA and the steps needed to steal the lunar core sample. He was mentally ready for the following day’s activities. But for some reason, his mind wouldn’t allow him to relax.

Stripped down to his liquid-cooled undergarment, Tom struggled to get comfortable in his hammock, which hung crossways in the cabin just above Dusty’s. After long hours working in his space gloves, Tom’s hands were covered with many cuts and bruises. This made a simple task like adjusting his blanket painful.

Frustrated, he took a large breath. Inhaling the gunpowder-like smell from the many moon rocks stored onboard was just another reminder of where he was. He wanted to scream out in frustration. He rolled over and cracked open the fiberglass window cover that darkened the cabin interior. He looked down at the sundrenched lunar surface and focused with pride on the motionless American flag. He was still amazed he was actually on the moon. He tilted his head slightly up to Earth, high in the black sky. The heartwarming sight gave him some comfort. He pulled his arm out from under the blanket and positioned it so shards of sunlight hit his Omega watch. It was almost midnight in Houston. Anne was probably already asleep. He looked back out toward the colorful ball and blew her a loving kiss. Miss you, Sweetheart. Sleep tight. I’ll be home soon.

A whisper came from below. “Tom, are you awake?”

Tom quickly closed the cover. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

A bit louder, Dusty said, “No, I’ve been tossing and turning over the last hour. I just can’t get to sleep.”

“Me neither. It’s pissing me off. I might have to take some sleeping pills.”

Dusty let out a deep sigh. “I keep replaying our moonwalks in my head. It’s as if my mind is preventing me from getting any rest since this is our last night on the moon.”

“Maybe that’s it.”

“I can’t believe we’re down to our last EVA. Where did the time go?”

“It’s because we’re so busy. Every minute is practically accounted for.”

Dusty replied with sincerity, “Well, I bet you this will be the highlight of my life.”

“No doubt it will be tough to top this experience. I’m sure we’ll reflect on it and dream about it for the rest of our lives.”

Sarcastically, Dusty shot back, “You’re going to be dreaming about me, Tom?”

To keep the humor going, Tom answered, “When that dream has the Playboy Bunny on my checklist coming to life, I’ll make sure something happens to you. Not enough room in here for the three of us.”

“Yeah, just kick me out for another moonwalk.” After some rustling below, Dusty said, “So Anne is cool with you looking at a nude picture on the moon?”

Tom looked up at the ceiling as he thought of Chris with his arm around Anne. He said through clenched teeth, “Absolutely. We have total trust in each other.”

DUSTY YELLED OUT excitedly, “Whoa! Watch out for that one.”

Tom grinned as he veered the lunar rover around the 20-inch rock, lunar dust spitting out from the bottom of the spinning wheels, getting the men even filthier. With only a 14-inch clearance for the chassis, Tom had to avoid running over big obstacles. He was doing his best imitation of Mario Andretti as he raced dizzily through the boulder field, often going airborne due to the bumpy terrain. He felt like he was riding on a bucking bronco as he tried to make up time. They were thirty-two minutes behind schedule, and every one of those precious minutes cut into the time needed at the end of the EVA to snatch the lunar material.

Dusty sat in the right seat and was their navigator, picture taker, and tour guide for the folks back at mission control. His voice shuddered from the rough ride. “We don’t need to hit any more big rocks.”

The electric rover had taken quite a beating over the last few days from Tom plowing over his share of moon rocks, putting some golf ball-sized holes in the wire mesh that made up the wheels’ metal tread. “Gotcha, buddy.” The more Tom drove, the more comfortable and confident he became in the machine’s ability. It was a good thing both men were strapped into their “lawn chair” seats, or one of them would have certainly been thrown out. The only thing missing in all the fun was a booming sound system blaring Beach Boys music.

They had just finished up at their station 11 stop and were off to North Ray Crater. With their spacesuits pressurized, Tom chose not to fight the suit. He sat with his arms and legs extended in a relaxed and ballooned-out position. His only challenge was positioning his right arm and keeping it steady so he could operate the T-shaped hand controller that was located on the center console and operated the buggy. His fatigued arm had the handle shoved all the way forward as they flew over the surface at a record pace, rotating the handle left or right to avoid the fast-approaching craters and rocks.

Dusty radioed mission control, “At our ten o’clock position there are two very bright, small craters that are three to four meters across, with some whitish material in the center. We are in a distinct boulder field, heading west.”

Tom was so consumed with driving and making up time that he had no idea where they were. He was counting on Dusty to get them to their next location. With no reference points or distinct characteristics to stand out over the barren landscape, everything looked the same. The undisturbed gray hills and craters surrounding them looked like the hundreds they had already passed. Dusty’s map gave him the distance and heading needed to reach each destination, and the Rover’s navigation system fed him the needed data to guide him along. Unfortunately, the odometer was slightly off due to Tom’s crazy driving, making the wheels slip and go airborne.

Dusty called out in a relieved tone, “We are almost to North Ray Crater.”

Through all the bouncing, Tom was able to lift his sun visor to get a good look at the enormous crater they were approaching. It was by far the biggest they had seen, with a broad ejecta blanket. This was going to be a blast to explore. He quickly shut his visor and aimed for the monster.

THE DIMLY LIT Mission Operations Control Room glowed from the vast array of lighted console monitors and flickering digital displays that fed information to the young, energetic flight controllers monitoring the Apollo 16 mission. Anne sat watching the action in the quiet, glass-enclosed VIP area. Her attention was riveted on the large bank of projection screens spread out across the front of mission control. The futuristic displays had flashing technical data along with colorful, gleaming lines and dotted lights depicting maps and locations which made absolutely no sense to Anne. Her concentration was on the screen to the far right, which showed the live feed from the moon. Whenever the moonwalkers were in transit, the image on the screen was often of Kirk, busy in the Command Module, since the lunar rover could not transmit a TV signal while moving. Once the vehicle was parked, the screen was filled with images of the astronauts working on the moon. The voices coming from the room’s small ceiling speakers kept Anne abreast of all the action, even when her husband was joy riding on the lunar surface.

“Mommy, I’m hungry.”

Anne reluctantly tore her eyes from the screen to look down at her son, who was getting restless after sitting in the room for the last two hours. “Sweetheart, aren’t you enjoying listening to Daddy drive on the moon?”

Sitting on the opposite side of Peter, Virginia interjected, “I can take him down to the cafeteria to get a little something to eat if you’d like.”

Anne had to pull a few strings to get Virginia into mission control, and this was exactly why she had done it. After returning from the Cape, any time Anne wanted to go to mission control, Peter always begged to tag along. She was happy to take him, but it was only a matter of time before he would tucker out and ask to go home. Today Anne wanted to stay as long as possible. “That would be great, Virginia.”

Her sister-in-law started to get up when Chris Riddick entered the sparsely filled VIP area. Without hesitation he turned down the empty row right in front of the women. Anne quickly turned away without making eye contact. Joan, sitting next to Anne, also noticed Chris walking toward them and nudged Anne’s leg. Anne turned to her friend, rolling her eyes, and looked straight ahead into the control room. As feared, Chris stopped right in front of the three ladies with his hands on his hips and said, “Hi, Anne.”

Anne’s eyes didn’t budge as she answered in her best brush-off tone, “Hello, Mr. Riddick.”

Chris gave Virginia a good once over. “So are you going to introduce me to this pretty lady?”

“No, she’s not,” Virginia said, “because I’m not interested in meeting someone as pigheaded as you.” Virginia turned to Peter. “Come on, Peter. Let’s get you something to eat.”

Joan practically fell out of her seat trying to control herself as a slight giggle leaked out. Anne only smiled. She felt Chris staring in her direction, but she didn’t move. An awkward silence hung over them as Virginia and Peter worked their way down the row and out of the room. Finally, Chris turned away and left without saying a word.

Joan leaned over to Anne and whispered, “I like Virginia.”

WITH SOME EXPERIMENTS not going as planned and the astronauts running behind schedule, Tom figured the geologists and scientists at NASA were probably fighting over what the astronauts’ next move should be as they worked on the rim of North Ray Crater. He was glad David was CAPCOM, knowing the experienced moonwalker would filter out any unrealistic request.

“Tom, some of the boys in the back room would like you to get a sample from that big black rock east of the rover.”

In order to maximize their time, Dusty and Tom had been operating independently ever since they got out of the rover. It was obvious which rock Houston was referring to. It was the only black rock east of them and probably the biggest they had come across yet. He estimated it was about 100 meters out. “Roger.”

Tom looked over at his LMP, who was busy getting samples of small white rocks behind the rover. “Dusty, all okay?”

“I’m fine. Go on ahead. Gosh, these are some great samples.”

Tom waved and set off on his trek through the scattered stone forest. He found the easiest and quickest way to travel along the lunar surface was with a mixture of a hop and a jog, what he labeled the lunar gallop. Even though the moon’s temperature was 100 degrees hotter than when they landed, the blistering 200 °F temperature was only a minor inconvenience thanks to the cooling water circulating through their suits.

“Houston, I’m heading toward the rock.” Tom felt like a little kid as he bounded joyfully about. “Whoopee. I tell you, David, I wish moving around on Earth was this easy.”

David said with envy in his voice, “I know. I miss it.”

As Tom ventured away from the rover, the rocks he was passing were larger and larger. After a while it was becoming obvious that the rock he was aiming for was much bigger and farther away than he had expected. “Boy, this rock is really out there.” Tom figured he had gone well over a couple hundred meters.

Eventually he reached the giant boulder, which towered over him like a huge building. He decided to give it a name. “This is one huge rock. It’s as big as a house. I’m calling it House Rock.”

“Tom, we can’t see you on camera.”

Tom heard some static breaking into David’s response, a sign something was blocking his signal. Looking out in the direction of the rover, his view of it was blocked by some rocks. He hopped about twenty meters away from House Rock until he could see the rover. “See me now?”

David’s voice came through crystal clear. “We do. Can you work on the rock where you are?”

“That’s a negative. It’s about twenty meters over.” As Tom heard some mumblings, he looked over at the rock, then back at the rover in the distance. Since they were running behind schedule, this was probably his best opportunity to snag a lunar sample in secret. He was concerned he might be rushed if he waited until the end of the EVA, increasing his chances of being caught.

“We would like to keep an eye on you.”

“Roger, Houston. How about Dusty moving the rover so I am in view?”

The radio was silent for a moment. Tom assumed management was discussing the proposition, since only the commander was to drive the car. “Dusty, we want you to move the rover about twenty meters north.”

Elated, Dusty replied without hesitation, “Copy that, Houston. I would be happy to.”

Tom had to act quickly. “I will position myself over by House Rock at a good sample area.” Before mission control could object, he hopped over to the rock. He double-checked to verify that he was out of view before reaching down and ripping open the Velcro pocket on his pant leg. He quickly pulled out the metal cylinder and whipped the top open. He got down on one knee and forced the container as deep as he could into the rocky soil, scooping up a good sample.

Through radio static, Dusty called out, “This is some cool ride.”

Concerned Dusty might be pulling the vehicle into position, Tom looked up. He was relieved to see the buggy was still out of sight. He swiftly screwed on the cap and shoved the cylinder deep into his pocket before sealing it. When he looked up again, the rover was coming into view. He grabbed his hammer and raised it high, waving it back and forth. “Houston, I see the rover.”

“Copy that, Tom. We now have you in view.”

Pleased to have the secret sample in his pocket, Tom let out a deep sigh. He watched Dusty climb out of the rover. “Good job, Dusty.”

“Hey, that was fun. Let me know if you want me to drive us back.”

Tom knew mission control wouldn’t go for that. “I would get us lost. How about you navigate and I drive?”

“Roger that.”

Tom started hammering away on the massive boulder, but after a few minutes of pounding, he had nothing to show for his hard work. Man this sucker is strong. Frustrated, he lifted his sun visor to get a better look at his target. He repositioned himself, hoping for a better angle at striking the rock. When he raised the hammer above his head, he heard panic in Dusty’s voice.

“Tom, the rover is slipping!”

Without lowering his arm, Tom turned, and, in horror, saw the lunar rover slowly sliding backward into the crater. Dusty hopped toward the buggy in an attempt to save their ride. Concerned his friend might also be pulled into the crater, Tom cried out, “Dusty, don’t follow it!”

Dusty suddenly lost his balance, launching himself high above the lunar surface before crashing dangerously hard onto his life support backpack.

Oh my God! Tom instantly dropped his hammer and took off toward his friend.

JUST AS THE live feed of the astronauts went dark on the projection screen, the radio transmission in the VIP room was abruptly cut off. The lost transmission concerned Anne. The last communication heard was Dusty stating the rover was slipping. Anne knew if the astronauts were unable to retrieve the rover, they would have a long and strenuous walk back to the Lunar Module. She leaned forward to get a better view of the control room, hoping to get a read on the seriousness of the problem. She fixed her eyes on the flight director, who appeared to be barking out orders while scattered flight controllers rushed back to their desks. The many flickering red lights on the consoles made her nervous.

Anne turned to Joan, who was staring toward her husband working the CAPCOM desk. “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

“I can tell by the way David is acting, it’s serious.”

This was the first time during the mission Anne was truly worried. “Were you ever cut off from the radio communications during David’s flight?”

A concerned look was etched on Joan’s face. Shaking her head, she answered, “No.”

Anne turned to the wives of the other crew members who were sitting side by side two rows back. Jean, Dusty’s wife, had both hands over her mouth, obviously understanding the ramifications of her husband’s words. Being the veteran astronaut wife, Anne kept her poise. She gave a self-assured nod, signaling all would be fine.

The tension was broken by Peter crashing through the door and excitedly sprinting down the aisle toward Anne. “Mommy, did Daddy write my name on the moon yet?”

“Not yet, dear.”

Behind Peter was Virginia, sensing something was up. With a raised eyebrow she whispered, “What’s happening?”

Anne lifted her hands, shaking her head. She turned to Peter. “Son, I forgot to feed Dino. Can you go home with Aunt Virginia and take care of that?”

“Can I come back? I want to see Daddy write my name on the moon.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Anne looked at Virginia and whispered, “I don’t want Peter seeing any of this. I’ll call you later.”

Virginia nodded. “Come on, Peter. Let’s go feed your dog.”

Anne watched Peter skip out of the room before turning her gaze to the chaos in the control room. God, please let Tom be okay.