USSR Hoax

17 IT’S OFFICIAL

A sudden fury swept over Tom at the sight of Chris Riddick entering the empty hallway of Building 4 at the Manned Spacecraft Center. Chris had his head down reading paperwork, unaware he was approaching Tom. The two had been on different travel schedules ever since Tom learned Chris had made a pass at Anne. Tom had been forced to suppress the anger while it festered deep within during his time in Geneva, waiting for the moment when he could release his wrath on the man. The opportunity had arrived.

For maximum effect, Tom kept quiet as Chris came closer. At the last second, Tom pounced and shoved his hands hard onto Chris’s chest. The man was caught off guard as he was firmly slammed up against the wall, causing paperwork to fly all over the place. Chris was speechless, stunned by the attack.

Pointing his finger at Riddick, Tom spewed venom as he fiercely shouted, “I thought I told you to stay away from my wife.”

Chris stood motionless for a moment, confused by the assault. “What are you talking about?”

“Anne told me you played that stupid-ass song on your piano and then tried to hit on her.”

Chris’s demeanor unexpectedly changed. He pushed Tom’s hand aside and bent down to pick up his papers.

Overcome with rage by the brush-off, Tom seized Chris strongly by his shirt, forced him back up and pushed him hard against the wall again. This time Tom held on as he stared directly into Chris’s eyes. “This is my last warning—stay away from my wife, or next time I’ll beat the crap out of you. I mean it!” Tom let go, waiting for a response. Not getting one, Tom felt he had gotten his point across. He turned in disgust and headed down the hallway.

When Tom reached Dick’s office, his blood was still boiling. He took a moment to get his emotions in check before entering.

His boss could tell something was up. “You look rattled.”

Tom mopped his brow. “I’m fine.”

Dick closed the file in front of him. “Good. So, sounds like all went well in Switzerland?”

Tom put what just happened in the hallway in the back of his mind as he took a seat. “It did. The transaction unfolded as planned.”

“Good, and no issues with the cosmonaut?”

Leaning back in the chair, Tom crossed his legs. “Nope. In fact, he was actually a pretty swell guy. The two of us ended up at a bar when we finished our business. After a few drinks, even his broken English became easier to understand. We were probably there well over an hour talking about all kinds of stuff, laughing and having a good ole time before he was called away.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s a pilot like you, and I bet he’s even a family man. I doubt he has any hidden political agenda. He just wants to fly in space, which requires following orders passed down by the Communist Party leaders, regardless if he agrees with them or not.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Well I’m glad it all worked out and the two of you got along.” Dick put his hands behind his head as a magnanimous smile appeared on his face.

Tom could tell good news was coming, and he hoped it was what he expected.

“So, are you ready to start working on your mission, Commander?”

Adrenaline surged through Tom, hearing those words. He was finally going to fulfill his dream. He shot up in his chair. “You bet!”

“Good. Have you decided on who you want as your crewmates?”

Without hesitation, Tom shared his thoughts. “I have. I was thinking of Kirk Cooley as the Command Module Pilot and Dusty Robinson as my Lunar Module Pilot.”

Dick looked out his window while tapping a pen on his bottom lip. After a few seconds, he turned around with a relaxed expression. “I like it. Considering what the objectives are for the mission, I think those are good choices. I’ll submit the selections today and let you know what I hear. Once they’re approved, expect your training schedule to increase. You may want to tell Anne you won’t be spending much time at home over the next few years.”

“Don’t worry, she knows the drill.” Tom leaned forward. “So, can I tell her I’ve been selected for Apollo 16?”

“Absolutely. But keep in mind, even if your crew choices are accepted, we probably won’t make an official announcement until sometime next year. So please keep it between the two of you until then.”

Tom understood. He couldn’t wait to get on the phone and tell Anne to buy some champagne to celebrate some wonderful news. He expected her to press him for details over the phone, but he was confident he wouldn’t break under pressure. He wanted to tell her in person that her husband was going to the moon.

ONCE TOM ENTERED the house, Dino was the first to welcome him. He bent down to pet the excited dog. “Buddy, it’s always nice to be greeted by you. And to think you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for some lion cub.” As he scratched behind the dog’s ear, Tom whispered, “But you know who wears the pants in the family, right?” Tom smiled at his little joke. He looked up, surprised his son wasn’t close behind. Dino rolled over on his back hoping for more scratches. Tom obliged the wiggling dog, giving him a good, hard belly rub. “Dino, where is everybody?”

Tom figured Anne must have stepped out with Peter to pick up the bottle of champagne he had requested. To confirm his guess, he walked into the kitchen to see if there was a bottle in the refrigerator. The sound of the dog’s paws slapping wildly across the linoleum floor broke the silence as he followed his master. Dino bolted straight toward the treat jar on the counter, jumping up on his hind legs, loudly barking at the container. Tom quickly snagged a doggie biscuit and tossed it to the eager dog, quieting the mutt.

When Tom reached the refrigerator he saw a note on the door. He slid the magnet aside, unfolded the paper and read the hand-written message:

Tom, I thought it would be nice to celebrate your good news over a steak dinner. Peter is over at the Grants. Meet me at the Seville Club. Love, Anne.

Tom looked over at the dog chewing his treat. “Looks like I’m eating steak tonight, buddy.” He knelt down and opened a bottom kitchen cabinet where the bag of dog food was kept. Tom quickly scooped out Dino’s dinner, dumping it into a bowl on the floor. “Enjoy, my friend!” As the dog dug in, Tom gave Dino one last pat before hustling out of the kitchen.

Tom knew how much his wife hated sitting alone, so he went straight to his car and raced to the Seville Club. When he entered the elegant restaurant he instantly smelled the cigarladen air. The dimly lit room with its polished cherry wood furnishings and deep, red velvet drapes was a favorite drinking hole for many of the astronauts. Through the smoky haze he began to search the scarcely crowded room for his wife. Unable to locate her at first glance, he walked over to the bar. Maybe she stepped into the bathroom?

Nabbing one of the available leather barstools, Tom took a seat and motioned to the bartender.

The man walked over and set a white paper napkin in front of Tom. “Can I get you a drink?”

Tom answered with a mischievous smile. “Absolutely.” What do I want? He began scanning the bottles on the glass shelves in front of him when he noticed the reflection off the mirror of an attractive blonde sitting alone a few barstools over. “Tell you what, how about a martini.”

“Got it.”

To get a better view of the blonde, Tom decided to do a more thorough search of the room for his wife. He slowly swiveled around on the bar stool until he was facing the pretty lady. He casually checked her out. The blonde had her back to him, smoking a cigarette, wearing a form-fitting white mini dress with white high heels. Nice. He eventually turned his seat around so his back was to the bar. He scanned over the handful of tables in search of Anne, but she was nowhere to be found. Where could she be?

Frustrated, he swiveled back around to find his drink sitting in front of him. As he took a sip, he was surprised to see the blonde had moved one barstool closer, her back still toward him. That’s odd. Without looking too obvious, he took another sip while nonchalantly peering over his glass, studying her. He smiled big when he spotted Anne’s wedding ring on the girl’s hand. This beautiful lady he was ogling was his own wife, wearing a blonde wig. He was tickled pink she actually went through with the crazy idea. He decided to have a little fun. Grabbing his drink, he slid over to the barstool next to her. He moved in close, whispering into her ear, “Hello, beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?”

Without turning, Anne let out a puff of smoke and answered in an uncharacteristically deep and seductive tone. “That would be wonderful. A martini please.”

At that moment, Tom felt amazingly close to Anne. He wanted to hug her right then and tell her how much he loved her, how much he appreciated her little scheme. But instead, he kept his cool and played along. He caught the bartender’s eye, and, pointing to his drink, signaled he wanted another. After the bartender acknowledged the order, Tom turned back. “My wife was supposed to meet me here, but it doesn’t look like she’s coming. I think you’re very attractive, and I have always had a thing for blondes.”

Anne set her cigarette in the ashtray and turned slightly.

Tom got his first glimpse of the big, round sunglasses she was wearing, similar to the Jackie O style of glasses. His grin got bigger.

“I assume your wife isn’t a blonde?”

“Correct. She’s an attractive brunette and she’s a wonderful lady. But sometimes you want to try something new, if you know what I mean.”

Anne turned completely toward him, and her look showed she knew that her cover was blown. “You sound like you love your wife. Is it worth risking all that for one night of fun?”

“Good point. I have an idea. How about we pretend you’re my wife in a blonde wig?”

The bartender arrived with Anne’s drink. She took a sip seductively, before tilting her sunglasses down and looking Tom in the eye. “That’s an interesting concept. Ask me that again after a few martinis.”

Tom couldn’t hold back his news any longer. “Since my wife isn’t here, how about I tell you some exciting news.”

Anne set her drink down. “I’d love to hear it.”

Tom looked around to double-check no one was within earshot, leaned closer to her and whispered, “You are looking at the commander of Apollo 16.”

Anne broke out of character, letting out a high-pitched squeal before jumping off her barstool into his arms. “That’s fantastic news. Congratulations, Tom!”

Hugging his wife, Tom wanted to stay in character. He pulled away with a raised eyebrow. “How do you know my name is Tom?”

She hit him playfully on the chest. “Silly, I know you knew it was me.”

He smiled. “You look nice as a blonde.”

Anne settled back into her chair. “Don’t get too comfortable with it. I just wanted to do something special for you.”

“It was incredibly special and I very much appreciate it. Of course, you look good no matter what.”

Anne took off her sunglasses and flashed him a wink, “Right answer.” She took another sip of her drink and said enthusiastically, “I’m so happy for you. We need to celebrate.”

Tom wiggled his eyebrows. “We will, later tonight. Me and the blonde.”

Anne smiled. “Wow, my husband will be walking on the moon.”

“Yep, and I’m sure he’ll be missing you.”

She put her hand on his leg. “We’ll miss each other. But what an adventure it will be.” Her face turned serious. “Honey, I really have to pee. I’ve been sitting at this bar for almost an hour waiting for you.”

Tom chuckled. “Sorry. I’ll pay the tab so we can go to dinner.”

Leaning over, Anne gave Tom another kiss, this time on the cheek. “I’m so proud of you.” She flashed a seductive grin before slipping her glasses back on. She spun around on the barstool, then hopped off. She patted his knee before walking with a spring in her step toward the restrooms.

With a lecherous grin, Tom watched his wife’s backside sway before he turned back to the bar. The bartender was standing right in front of him casually wiping the inside of a glass with a towel. Tom pulled out his wallet. “I’d like to settle up our bill.”

The bartender leaned over the bar and asked with a smile, “What’s up with those sunglasses on that lady? She’s been in here for over an hour smoking cigarettes. You wonder if she can even see anything with those on.”

Tom smiled. “That’s my beautiful wife, and she has an eye infection.”

“Oh, sorry about that. Sure, bud, I’ll get your tab.”