18 MISS YOU

1972

During the two years since landing the commander slot on Apollo 16, Tom and his crew had been working their butts off training for the moon mission. When the three weren’t training together, Dusty and Tom were working on preparing for the lunar landing and moonwalks, flying all over the country doing specialized training and geological field trips. Their crewmate, Kirk Cooley, was just as busy doing his own training as the Command Module Pilot. With a little over a month before launch, their schedules were getting even more hectic. The reality that the three would soon be circling the moon was starting to set in.

No matter how hard Tom worked, he couldn’t help feeling he was behind on the studying aspect of the flight. He needed to be fully up to speed on the equipment manuals, lunar maps, and star maps as well as becoming a geology expert. The scientific community wanted science to be the number one priority on Apollo 16, putting added pressure on the trained pilot. As the commander, Tom had to make certain his team could carry out all the science-related tasks and still be able to handle emergencies and all other spacecraft duties the mission would require.

Different from the Gemini flight where his main focus had been his spacewalk, Tom was essentially responsible for every aspect of Apollo 16, including two other lives. The gravity of this responsibility motivated him to study during any spare moment he could find. Consequently, he rarely saw his family. Whenever he was home, he was holed up in his office, working. Even with David and Joan patching things up, the nights of playing cards had long ago stopped. As a result, Tom had become a stranger in his own home. Out of necessity, Anne and Peter were forced to get along without him, basically developing their own routine. If a problem came up with the house, the car, or even Peter, Anne took care of it without consulting her husband. She understood he needed the freedom to focus only on his job.

Finally, Tom had set up an opportunity to spend some quality time with his family, even though the underlying reason was still the mission. He had invited Dusty and Jean over for a barbeque. Though Anne knew Dusty’s wife, Jean, from the regular gatherings of the astronaut wives, they weren’t very close. Tom hoped to change that with the get-together. He wanted the ladies to be friends so they could support each other during the moonwalks.

With Beatles music coming softly through the living room screen door, the couples were sitting around the patio table sharing laughs and sipping cold margaritas on the breezy March afternoon.

Jean moved her bangs away from her emerald eyes. “Can you believe it’s been over a year since the Beatles broke up?”

Tom looked at the young-looking woman. “It was only a matter of time. They were all musical geniuses. I betcha each one goes on to have his own successful solo career.”

Anne chimed in. “I remember when their first album came out. I was in college.”

“Me too.” Jean took a sip of her cocktail as she looked across at Anne. “So where did you go to school?”

“University of Texas.”

Jean raised an eyebrow as she set her drink down. “How does a UT girl end up with a boy from Texas A&M?”

Jean obviously knew Texas A&M was the rival to Texas. Tom lifted his hands as if presenting himself. “Could you have turned this down?”

Jean answered jokingly, “Yes, I could have.”

All chuckled as Tom brushed off his ego. “Good. Then I would have still ended up with Anne.”

Jean smiled. “So how did you two meet?”

A sensuous smile brightened Anne’s face as she swept her gaze over to Tom. “Tom was my knight in shining armor, coming to my rescue.”

Dusty piped up, “Did he ride in on a white horse?”

Anne turned. “Not exactly. It was a yellow VW bug. During my freshman year some girlfriends and I were visiting College Station for the Texas game. Afterward we wandered over to a local bar. Some UT guys were being obnoxious and started to hit on us. We decided that we had to get out of there. Some of the boys followed us out of the bar. One of them started harassing me. Tom was sitting in his car at a red light and saw what was going on. He leaned over the empty passenger seat and yelled out his side window for the guy to stop. The boy started getting all macho and told Tom to mind his own business. Tom immediately jumped out of his car, leaving the engine running. He strolled over calmly and got right into the boy’s face. Before doing anything, he looked to me and asked, ‘Sally, are you okay?’”

Dusty chimed in, “Sally?”

Anne smiled and continued, “Yeah. At the time I had no idea where he was going with that, but I played along and nodded yes. Then Tom turned back to the boy and said I was his cousin, and if he messes with me, he messes with him. After a few intense seconds, the boy laughed it off, pretending nothing had happened. Then he told his friends it wasn’t worth it, and they left.”

Dusty said to Tom, “Good thing that guy didn’t know Anne’s name.” He lifted his drink. “Gutsy call, buddy.”

Tom raised his glass in a toast.

Jean licked salt off the rim of her glass and looked over at Tom. “Wow, good for you. After a stunt like that, you would be tough to turn down.”

Tom extended his arms, teasingly presenting himself for a second time.

Anne pushed Tom playfully. “He offered us a ride, but our car was around the corner. The traffic was starting to build up behind his VW, and he said he’d better get going. I could see in his eyes that we had made a connection. Even though he didn’t ask, I quickly wrote my name and number on a piece of paper and handed it to him before he left.”

Tom called out victoriously, “And the rest is history.”

Still looking at Tom, Jean set her glass down. “That’s a great story. By the way, my dad graduated from A&M and speaks very highly of you. He brags about you all the time, proud you’re an Aggie. He was impressed you flew that jet pack, showing up those Commies.”

Tom exchanged a look with Anne. Only they knew the real danger he had been in during that EVA. “That’s nice to hear, especially with all the problems on that mission.” Tom rubbed his finger along the side of his glass, leaving a trail in the condensation. “Actually, I learned a lot from that flight, specifically, to know your limits.” He looked at his wife. “Now that I’m commander, I have to make smart decisions.” He turned back to Joan. “I have two other men and their families to consider.”

“I appreciate you saying that.” Jean reached across the table and patted Tom’s hand. “I’m confident Dusty is in good hands.”

Tom nodded. “He is.” He grasped the pitcher of margaritas and started topping off everyone’s glass. “You know, since your dad sounds like a fan and is a fellow alumnus, I’d be more than happy to give him one of the American flags I carried in my spacesuit during my EVA.”

“Wow! No, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s no big deal. They’re just sitting up in our closet gathering dust.”

“That would be wonderful. I know he’d love it.”

“Great, I’ll go get one and sign it.” Tom got up. “Does anyone need anything while I’m inside?”

Anne asked, “Can you please make some more margaritas?”

“My pleasure.” Tom grabbed the empty pitcher.

“And check on Peter.”

“Will do.”

As Tom approached the sliding screen door he was able to make out his son’s silhouette on the living room floor. The Robinsons had left their two young children at home with a babysitter, leaving Peter on his own. When Tom slid open the door, he saw little green army men all over the carpet, some on their sides. In the middle of all the action was his seven-year-old son, moving the men around. Dino was off the battlefield, lying on the couch behind Peter.

Over the music, Tom asked, “What’s ya doing, Son?”

“Playing war.”

Like all kids his age, Peter had grown up with the Vietnam War as a major backdrop of his life. “Who’s winning?”

“The Americans.”

“Go Americans.” Tom left the screen door open since he’d be coming back with his hands full. He decided to go retrieve the flag first. He made sure not to disturb any of the army men, carefully walking over to the coffee table and setting down the margarita pitcher. He turned and gave his son a loving pat on his head. “Don’t kill all the enemy soldiers. I don’t want green blood all over the place.”

The boy smiled.

When Tom left the room, Dino leaped off the couch and followed. The dog shot straight past Tom after he opened his bedroom door. Dino jumped onto the bed and did a couple of tight circles, patting down the bedcover before laying down on the flattened spot. With his tongue hanging out and his paws dangling over the backend of the bed, the dog intently stared at Tom.

Sure the flags were in a small tan box on the shelf on Anne’s side of the closet, Tom slid open the wooden door. He was overcome by the clutter. How does she know where anything is? The top shelf was jam packed with boxes. No way could he search the shelf just standing on the floor without knocking boxes over. He needed help. He reached over and grabbed the wooden chair in front of Anne’s makeup table.

Positioning the chair in the center of the open area, Tom stood on the seat, allowing him to see the items on the back of the shelf. While cautiously moving boxes around, he came across a round white box. He wiped his finger along the top, gathering a substantial amount of dust on his fingertip, confirming the box hadn’t been opened for some time. Curious what was inside, he lifted the lid slightly to take a peek. He smiled big when he recognized the blonde wig Anne had worn at Seville’s a few years back. He stared at it for a moment, reflecting on that wonderful evening that seemed like ages ago. That was the night Anne learned he would be flying to the moon. He’d had no idea that, from that point on, his schedule would prevent them from enjoying any more similar romantic evenings. As Tom sadly closed the box, he struggled to remember the last time they had even made love. As he set the box on top of another, he wondered if his excessive drive for a perfect mission was causing him and Anne to drift apart.

Tom continued with his search, moving boxes around until he spotted what he was looking for, the tan box way in the back. It was labeled EVA Flags, handwritten by him in blue ink. Tom had to stand on his tiptoes to reach the little bugger. As he leaned in, his arm was bumping other boxes. Come on, Tom, you can get it. He had no choice but to do a little jump to snag the sucker. He jumped and successfully nabbed it. Yes! As he fell back down on the chair, his arm accidently knocked some of the other boxes, causing one to fall. Pleased he had the flags, he looked down, curious to see what box had dropped. There on the floor was the round white box, knocked open, the blonde wig lying next to it. Dino instantly jumped up on all fours, his tail shooting straight up in the air as he growled.

“It’s okay, Dino. Calm down.” Tom set the box of flags on the end of the shelf. When he turned to climb off the chair, he was shocked to see Dino leap with a killer’s instinct toward the wig. “Dino, no!”

Tom quickly jumped off the chair trying to beat the dog, but he was too late. Dino clamped down hard on the prize, and immediately started shaking it. Tom bent down to grab the wig, but the dog darted away before Tom could get it. “Dino, no! Stop!” Tom was mortified when the defiant dog bolted out the door. Damn! Tom took off after the mutt.

Chasing Dino down the stairs and through the house, Tom was having no luck catching the little rascal. The beagle sprinted across the living room floor, knocking over many of Peter’s army men.

Peter cried out, “Stop it, Dino!”

Dino ignored the boy’s command, shooting straight out the open screen door.

Panicked, Tom rushed past Peter and called out, “Peter, help me catch Dino.”

Dino stood in the center of the yard, shaking the hell out of the wig, blonde hair flying all over the place. Tom looked over and saw a horrified look on Anne’s face.

“Stay, boy.” Tom lifted both hands as he slowly walked toward Dino.

Dusty got up. “Need some help?”

Keeping his eyes focused on Dino, Tom answered, “Yes, we need to get that away from him.”

Dusty started walking toward the dog, on the opposite side from Tom. Dino suddenly stopped all his shaking and peered directly into Tom’s eyes, the blonde wig hanging like a dead animal from his mouth. Dino seemed to be toying with Tom, ready to bolt at any moment. Tom hoped to grab the little scoundrel before he did. “Peter, close the sliding glass door.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Dusty and Tom had the dog surrounded. Dino stayed focused on Tom as both men slowly moved in.

“Good dog, Dino,” Tom said, just inches from reaching Dino’s collar. Then the dog darted off playfully to the other side of the yard. Dusty, Peter and Tom spent the next five minutes chasing the ornery dog all over the backyard until Dusty finally caught him. Holding Dino steady, Tom was able to seize the thrashed and dirty wig from the dog’s slobbery mouth. He held the wig aloft in a minor celebration. Anne didn’t look happy.

Tom realized he’d messed up. Dejectedly, he took the ragged wig inside the house to get it away from his hyper dog. As Tom passed the patio table he overheard Anne tell Jean, “Oh that was something from our past.”

Tom was disappointed to hear those words. It was as if his wife was embarrassed by the wig and what it stood for. Tom continued into the house, set on tossing the wig in the trash.

Later that night, after saying their goodnights and turning out the lights, Tom rolled over on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Anne’s words still resonated in his head. He turned to see the back of his wife’s head, her hair flowing over her pillow. Their lack of intimacy over the last few years concerned him, making him feel like a stranger in his own bed. They hadn’t really discussed the topic, which made it even more awkward. He leaned over and kissed her on the neck before whispering in her ear. “What did you mean by that comment about the wig?”

Anne grumbled out her response. “What?”

“You made it sound like it was something dirty.”

Anne slowly turned over. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you still love me?”

Anne rubbed her eyes, reached over and gently placed her hand on his face. “With all my heart.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you really do. I know my work has kept me away, but I don’t want to lose you over it.”

Anne moved closer so their legs touched. “You’re not going to lose me. But ever since you started training for Apollo 16, it’s as if you’re already on the moon. Peter and I never see you, which I’m okay with. I understand it comes with the territory.”

“It will all be over soon.”

“I know, and when it is, Peter and I will be waiting with open arms, ready to welcome you back into our lives.”

Tom kissed her. “I miss you.”

Anne reached out and put her hand around his neck. “I’ve missed you too.” She pulled Tom closer and they shared a deep, passionate kiss leading to a wonderful night of love making.

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