Nocturnal

Bryan’s Lie

The sun had hidden itself somewhere behind the apartment buildings. Bryan was only minutes away from his bed and sleep. Usually he had trouble sleeping at night, but not today — he’d be out like a light.

“Riddle me something, Bri-Bri.”

Bryan’s forehead rested in his right hand; his elbow rested on the inside handle of Pookie’s Buick. Whatever bug he had was rapidly getting worse: fatigue and body aches, the start of sniffles, throat full of razor blades, a first hint at a monster headache.

Bryan leaned back and yawned. Pookie had been talking nonstop since they left the restaurant. That was in a manual somewhere — keep the shooter talking after the incident, don’t give him time to get all introspective.

Pookie meant well, for sure, but Bryan just wanted silence. He couldn’t tell his friend and partner why. Some things you just couldn’t share. They were almost back to Bryan’s apartment, then he’d be done with Pookie’s constant chatter.

“Bri-Bri? You hearing me?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s the question?”

“How does a grown man not have a car?”

Bryan had to clear his throat before he could talk. “Don’t need a car. I live right in the city.”

“You don’t need a car because I schlep you all over the place.”

“Also a factor.”

Pookie double-parked in front of Bryan’s building. Horns behind them started honking instantly.

“Bri-Bri, you going to be okay? I can hang here tonight if you want.”

Bryan put on his best fake-solemn expression. “Thanks, but no. This ain’t my first rodeo. I just need to be alone and think this through.”

Pookie nodded. “All right, playa. But call me if you start wigging out, okay?”

“Thanks, man.” Bryan had to coax his exhausted body out of the car. He stumbled into his building. What a day. A shooting, handling the crime scene, giving his statement, the preliminary shooting review — too damn much. There would be more long days to come. With all those witnesses, with a gunman opening fire in a crowded restaurant, Bryan wouldn’t catch any shit for this. That didn’t mean, however, that he didn’t have to go through the motions. A full shooting review board was already scheduled. That was always such a good time.

And at the crime scene itself, before he could even leave, there’d been the mandatory chat with the police shrink. Was Bryan okay? How did the shooting make him feel? Did he think he could be alone that night?

Bryan said what he always said — that killing a man felt awful.

And, as always, that was a lie.

Did he enjoy killing people? No. Did he feel bad about it? Not in the least. He knew that he should feel something, but just like the last four times, he did not.

The guy had fired a shotgun. If Bryan hadn’t put him down, it could have been Lanza in the body bag. Or Pookie. Or Bryan himself.

Lanza, such an idiot. Maybe on the East Coast people respected the Mafia enough to give them leeway, but not out here. Jimmy the Hat had been a sharp cat. His son? Not so much. Frank and his buddies dressed up like they wanted the golden age of crime to come back overnight. Well, now they knew a different story.

Adrenaline had kept Bryan pumped from the shooting right up through the talk with the shrink. But during that whole time, his body had been sneakily breaking down. Once the buzz of excitement wore off, he’d felt completely wiped out.

Bryan pressed the button to call the rickety old elevator. Instead of a click and the whir of machinery, he heard nothing. Dammit — the elevator was broken again.

He pushed his body up the stairs, each step feeling like he was lifting someone else’s much-larger foot. He reached the fourth floor and paused. Muscle pain you could ignore. Most of it, anyway. Aches, throbbing, fever … but now he felt a new pain that demanded his attention.

A pain in his chest.

Bryan ground his teeth, then rubbed his hand hard against his sternum. Was he having a heart attack? No … it felt like it was a little above his heart. But what did he know about heart attacks? Maybe that’s where they started.

And then, suddenly, the pain faded away. He took a long, deep breath. Maybe he should call a doctor, but he was so damn tired.

It was probably nothing. Just the flu, messing with his system. Maybe he was more stressed about the shooting than he knew. If his chest felt like that the next day, he’d call a doc for sure.

Bryan walked into his apartment and started stripping off his weapons. He managed to remove most of his clothes before he crashed into his bed and fell asleep on top of his covers.