Myth-Chief

SEVEN

When she first saw me, Tananda had looked surprised, then delighted—then her brows drew down over her pretty nose.

"I can't believe you're cutting in on one of our jobs!" she said. "A couple of the others said you might do it, but I didn't believe it. I am so disappointed in you. I never thought you'd do anything like that. I thought I knew you."

"What?" I squeaked. I cleared my throat. "Cutting in? Who said that?"

"Somehow you found out that Marmilda hired us to protect her and the family inheritance," she continued, looking hurt. "Don't you think we could do it? We were all around for years before you came on the scene, remember? Or did you just want to show that you could do it better? You just have to let us know you're taking a case, Skeeve. You don't have to poach." Her eyes brightened as if she was going to cry.

"Poach?" I protested, clambering to my feet. "Wait a minute! I'm not poaching. Marmilda didn't hire me. Her brother did."

Tananda's eyes widened. "Her brother? Marmel?"

"Me," Marmel said, hesitantly, holding up a tentative forefinger from his hiding place behind the headboard. "I just want my inheritance. I didn't know about Narwickius."

"Oh, Skeeve!" Tananda exclaimed. She rushed me like an oncoming dragon and wrapped herself around me. She planted her mouth on mine and gave me such a thorough kiss that it robbed me of breath all over again. "Forgive me. I am so sorry for ever doubting you. I was surprised to see you, and ... I didn't think. Marmilda came to us with this case only a couple hours ago. She sneaked into the Bazaar after dark. She is very frightened. She said she only has until morning before the problems really start. Then, to find you here made me assume that she decided we just weren't going to be able to do the job and got you in on it, too."

I shook my head. I was hurt by the thought she might even think I would muscle in on their business, but that had to wait. As she said, there wasn't much time before things got rolling.

"You're not the only one on this case, are you?" I asked. "Where's Chumley?"

"Chumley and Guido are both coming before dawn. They sent me on ahead to find the Hoho Jug or the father's will," Tananda said. "We didn't want to wake Marmel." She grinned, and dimples dented both her cheeks. "I suppose the silence spell was to keep from disturbing Marmilda."

"Right," I said. "I didn't know she had gone for help on her own while we were working in here. I guess the silence cut both ways."

"It happens," Tananda said, then paused.

I took a deep breath. "Well, as long as we're both here, why don't we work together?"

"It's fine with me," she said, 'but I'm not the only one who has to agree. I have ... partners."

"Fine," I said, hastily, trying to ignore the pang the word awoke in me. "Then let's make a tentative agreement until the others get here. I figure we have looked through maybe a third of the hiding places in this room. I'm concentrating on the ones that give off a magikal aura "

Tananda didn't waste any time. "I'll take that side of the room," she said.

Marmel went to find Marmilda. She wasn't asleep; she only pretended to be until Marmel told her what had happened.

"I was just doing it to save us both, baby brother," she said.

"I know, big sister," Marmel said, sheepishly. "Me, too."

The two of them helped us by pointing out those hiding places their father used that they knew of, but there were dozens I turned up that surprised them. I found hidey-holes in the back of paintings, underneath throw rugs, in the false heels of shoes. All of them were chockfull of junk.

"I think there's more extradimensional space in here than in our tent." I said to Tananda, then corrected myself. "I mean, your tent."

Tananda stopped pulling stuffed rabbits out of a woolly hat and gave me a wry smile. "Skeeve ..."

BAMF!

At the blast of outrushing air, I went on guard, magik at the ready.

"Hey, Tanda, any luck?"

I lowered my defenses. The new arrivals while considerably crowding the minuscule available space in the room, were friends.

"Hi, guys," I said.

"I say, Skeeve!" Chumley exclaimed, then observed we were not alone. "Klahd!" he said, in a coarse voice. "You here?"

In private, the purple Troll was erudite and articulate. In mixed company, that was to say, when some of the people present were not close friends, he reverted to a monosyllabic form of speech he used in his public persona as Big Crunch, a not-too-bright enforcer for hire.

"That's right, er, Big Crunch," I said. "Hiya, Guido."

"Hey dere, Skeeve." Guido held out his hand for a shake. I noticed the bulge in the breast of his big-shouldered, pin-striped suit. He seldom went out without his pocket crossbow, a weapon with which he could pick the eye out of a pinbug at fifty paces. He was ready for business. "Gotta admit, I'm a little surprised to see you here."

"It's a coincidence, Guido," I assured him.

"Uh-huh, and since when do you believe in coincidences?" he asked, narrowing an eye.

"Conference, guys!" Tananda announced, taking both huge males by the arms and dragging them into a corner. "Marmilda and Marmel, could we have privacy for a while, please?"

"Certainly," Marmilda said, taking Marmel by the arm. "Come downstairs. You can help me wash dishes. Let the people do their job. Call us if you need anything." The two Imps retreated from the room.

My former associates huddled. Tananda spoke in a low voice, eliciting muffled exclamations from Chumley and Guido. I couldn't tell if they were upset or not. I waited nervously. What if they didn't want me in on this project? What would I do? I had a client, too. Then they broke into laughter.

Guido turned to me. "You got the jump on Tanda?" he said, slapping me heartily on the back. I slipped on a pile of multicolored teddy bears and sat down on a heap of shoes. "Dat's more than I can say I ever got."

"Dumb luck." I said modestly, picking myself up. Inside. I was slumping with relief.

"No, it wasn't," Tananda said, smiling at inc. "You've gotten a lot better at magik."

"So have you," I insisted.

"Not me,'" Tananda said, with a chuckle. She held out her hand and displayed a gaudy knuckle-duster with a huge green stone in the center. "I borrowed this ring from Massha. We knew we were going up against Narwickius. Couldn't take the chance that he had left one of his bully-boys on the premises. You've improved a lot without having to rely on gadgets."

"Practice," I said, modestly. "I'm doing what I can with what I've got."

"Never denigrate yourself, tiger," she said, leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek. "It would rake most people years to make the progress you have in months "

"Awright, awright, awright," Guido said, holding up his hands. "Enough with the mutual admiration society. Tananda said youse agreed to a temporary cooperative venture. We ain't got much time until

zero hour, so all in favor?"

Chumley put up his hand. "Aye."

Tananda followed suit. "Aye."

"Aye," Guido added, making it three. "Okay, dat's unanimous. I mean, it's just a formality, Boss... I mean, Skeeve. We hadda decide in a democratic and fair fashion. That's the way we've been doin' things since you been gone."

"Is everyone upset with me?" I asked. I knew I sounded plaintive, hut I couldn't help it.

"No! We thought you were upset with us.'" Tananda admitted. "You haven't come around once since the time you dropped in. You didn't invite any of us to see your new office."

I hung my head. "It's not much. I thought you wouldn't really want to see it. I felt pretty awkward. I guess I didn't think about what would happen in the future if I came back."

"Neither did we, what?" Chumley said.

"D'you mind?" Guido said, cutting short the conversation. "We can have a real powwow later. We got a high roller comin' around in about three hours. We gotta work out a plan to deal with him."

"And find the will," I said. "But that can wait until we get rid of the problem. What do you have on Narwickius?"

"Nasty," Chumley said He plucked a pair of pincenez glasses from within a tuft of fur on his purple chest and placed them on his nose. He unfurled a scroll and spread it out for me to read. "Pray skip the police blotter. I assure you it is as complete as I could make it."

I whistled as I skimmed down the long parchment, over Incidents Precipitated and Alleged Misdeeds. "I admire your research, Chumley," I said, glancing up. "This guy has caused trouble in over forty dimensions."

"Yeah, he's tough. It's a shame that he hadda pick on a coupla harmless Imps," Guido said.

"How many people does he have working for him?"

"I was able to discern the employment status of over 250 different mugs, thieves, grifters, shysters, pennyante crooks, leg breakers and other miscreants who have been used for jobs small and large," Chumley said. "He has a permanent staff of eleven. Two are powerful mages, a Vipe and a Pervert."

"You mean Pervect," I said automatically.

"I say, not this one," Chumley corrected me. "Read subsection three, if you would be so good."

I scanned the details in the paragraph, and I felt the blood leave my face. "Can you DO that with a camel?"

"I believe there were at least four witnesses," Chumley said. "The survivors said that the deed was at Narwickius's personal behest."

"Nasty indeed," I concurred. "Well, what do we know we can use as leverage?"

"Not a lot. Titans move fast, and they carry a lotta firepower," Guido said. "Not to mention their natural

physical shape. You don't wanna get in a clinch with one."

"People who move too fast often make mistakes," I said thoughtfully, scanning the document again. "Do you think we could bluff him?"

"I would greatly favor it to brute strength," Chumley said. "He who throws the first punch has lost the war of wits, what? Yet I have heard that nothing deters him."

"What he said," opined Guido. "Not that we won't be ready for him. I gotta few things with me that could take out a charging whaleosaurus." He patted his side pockets. The "things" must have been fairly flat, because nothing distended the perfect cut of his pinstriped suit coat.

"We don't know how many of his hooligans he might have with him," Chumley said. "His gang acts as backup, but all decisions I can document were made by him. Most often, his successes have required nothing more than his implication that violence might follow a lack of cooperation. In the ninety percent of the cases where the situation has gone beyond parley, he has acted alone. Seldom have his employees been required to step in. He can inflict considerable damage without outside assistance. He has a reputation as, er, a control freak."

I nodded.

"Good. Then, it's essentially a one-on-one situation. We can use that. If I know his reputation without having met him, then he might know mine. I can meet him and try to persuade him he doesn't want to go through me to get to Marmilda and Marmel. If he's heard of the Great Skeeve, he'll have some idea about what I'm capable of. That's not to say that you don't have formidable reputations, too," I said quickly.

"It's all right, handsome," Tananda said, with a wink.

"You were the top name on the letterhead. We can make use of that. Just slip into something formidable, and we'll take it from there."

Illusionary disguises are easy for even a beginning wizard. I had learned the skill from Aahz, and it had served me well for years. All I needed to do was concentrate on the face I wanted to present to the world and superimpose it over my own features. Size wouldn't impress a Titan like Narwickius. As Tananda said, I was looking for a mien that would give the impression of unlimited power. People always said I looked too young to be a great wizard (and they were right), so I went for disguises that made me look at least fifty. In this case, I thought I had better look as though I had been around a lot longer than my opponent. I chose a gaunt, almost skull-like face, seamed with wrinkles. A thin, pointed beard and drooping mustache of steel gray framed lips that had never smiled or showed mercy. Sharp, dark eyes lurked under deep brownridges like monsters in a cave. A curved beak of a nose, a widow's peak of silver hair, .aid pale, bloodless skin completed the image. I considered the whole image for a moment, then transferred it to myself.

"How do I look?" I said, turning to Tananda. Unfortunately, one of the problems with casting an illusion on yourself is that you can't see it. When you look in a mirror, all you see is yourself.

"You'd never get a date," she said, with a grin.

I grinned back. "Perfect. Now, we wait."