Class Dis-Mythed

Chapter Twenty-Four

Thanks to Bytina, we were able to pinpoint exactly where we needed to appear on Perv. Though the Arena was supposedly in a "secret location concealed deep in the mountains above a lonely valley visited by no living creature since time began," the magik the place was giving off, not to mention the triangulation provided from thousands of crystal balls dimensions-wide, made it a beacon to the naked eye, let alone to a sophisticated piece of technology.

We arrived on the lip of a natural ampitheater. Winds whistled around us, nipping the tips of my ears. I ignored the discomfort as I stalked down the aisle past thousands of cheering spectators enjoying the brawl happening on the vast round stage below. The hollow stone bowl magnified the sounds so I could hear every grunt, every yell, every cry of pain. I jogged down the endless staircase with the three women behind me.

Every hundred steps or so there was a landing. About the fifth one, an adolescent Pervect in a vest and bow tie stepped out.

"Sir, may I see your ticket?"

"Out of my way," I snarled.

"I'm afraid you can't go into the lower sections without a ticket."

I was not in a mood to argue. I threw him out of the way, using my levitation skills instead of the Pervish strength I lacked. He landed on top of several spectators. Blurting out apologies, he crawled out and hurried after us.

"Stop, sir. You have to stop."

Tananda wriggled up and attached herself firmly to my elbow, playing the part of Trollish eye candy.

"Don't you know who he is?" she asked the usher.

"No, I don't. And if he doesn't show me a ticket, I'm going to have him thrown out!"

I ignored him, but by that time we had attracted the attention of several other ushers, not to mention hundreds of paying customers. I kept them at bay with magik, intent on reaching my destination. Any minute now one of them was going to call security.

"Wave to the nice people," she murmured. "Make them think you're a celebrity. Aahz would."

The next time I made eye contact with an audience member, I put on a big fake smile and waved to her. When she poked her neighbor and pointed, I waved to him, too. Pretty soon the whole march down the aisle, ushers and all, looked like the arrival of a star. I prevented them from following me up onto the stage. Even the ushers seemed to be having doubts.

"Thanks for the escort, guys," I called as my small party scaled the sheer steps to the stage.

My students were still in the center. Pologne was now wrapped up in spider silk. Jinetta and Bee were up on top of the framework, trying to dislodge the barrel of water with magik and brute strength. I applied my own power, but it wouldn't budge. It wasn't meant to move! More cheating.

I grabbed the first person I saw, a young Deveel woman in a tight pink skirt and white blouse who clutched a clipboard to her chest.

"Who's in charge here?" I demanded.

She looked at me and my three companions and put her nose in the air.

"I'm sorry, sir, but this is a closed set." She spoke into her lapel, and several large Pervect males in uniforms appeared at her back.

"I want to see the boss," I said.

"You're trespassing, bub. If you don't leave under your own power right now, we'll be happy to assist you," said the Pervect with the most gold braid on his sleeves.

"Power?" I asked, a slow smile twisting my lips.

Creating a band of magik around the entire group of guards, I squeezed them all together into a tight little knot. I was so angry that I channeled more energy than I ever could before. They started gasping, their faces turning interesting shades of green.

"Hey, Tiger, take it easy!" Tananda cautioned me. "Leave them some breath so they can answer your question!"

"Sir," the captain squeaked. "Sir, what can we do for you?"

"Who is in charge of this program?" I asked, very sweetly. "I want to see him. Pronto."

"The Executive Producer," the head security guard gasped out. "His name's The Geek!"

"Take us to him," I said. "The Geek knows me."

The knot of guards shuffled ahead of us as a single unit. Tananda and Bunny each held onto one arm, gauging whether or not I was going to fly off the handle. I tried to keep myself under control. I should have realized when I heard his name that he had to be more involved than just offering an analysis of the teams. He was responsible for all this! Markie toddled ahead of us, playing the part of my adorable little niece.

"Lookie there, Uncle Aahz!" she said in her cutest voice, pointing a tiny pink finger at a Deveel in a shiny suit. "There's Mr. The Geek right now!"

I thrust my way past more crew members, heading for that familiar face.

The Geek huddled under a scenery overhang with a collection of production personnel. There was a clutch of magicians in robes and holding huge, multifaceted crystal balls— members of several species but one union, to judge by the insignia prominently displayed on their right sleeves—and young women of various species holding clipboards. He turned at the sound of his name. First he saw the tightly clustered knot of guards. Then, over their heads, he saw me. He did a double-take then started running away.

"Hold it, Geek," I ordered. Releasing my hold on the guards, I threw out a loop of power, tightened it, and dragged him up and over the heads of his doorwardens. I landed him in front of me on his feet, nice and easy, but I kept a firm magikal grip on him.

"Aahz," he choked out. "You've—you've got your powers back. How—nice?"

"Yeah," I grunted, in my best imitation of my former mentor's voice. "And just in time to use them to right a major injustice. One YOU are causing."

"M—mmm—mm—me? A mmm—major injustice?"

"You. You remember Markie, don'tcha? And Tananda? And Bunny?"

He certainly did remember Markie. She smiled sweetly up at him. In spite of the grip I had on him, the Geek tried to climb the sky.

"Aahz," the Geek squeaked. "Old buddy! Let's make this a nice, quiet talk."

"Let's," I said. "But first you stop that contest that's going on right now."

"Nnn—nn—now?" the Geek stammered.

I took a fistful of his collar and raised him over my head. It was part levitation spell and part genuine anger, but he ended up in the air, dangling from the end of my arm.

From out of nowhere, a second contingent of the usual kind of muscle came running towards us.

"Call them off," I said softly. "Call them all off."

The Geek, whose complexion began to darken as soon as I picked him up, waved his hands. The security guards backed away.

"Now, stop that contest. I insist." I shook the Deveel at every syllable.

Tananda came over and cuddled up against my right arm.

"Aahz, don't kill him," she said, in her most honeyed tones. "That gets so messy."

I shook the Geek again, who was doing a fair amount of vibrating all by himself. "Why not?" I growled.

"Well, if you do, they'll have to find another odds-maker."

"So what?" I asked. "This one's broken. They need a new one."

"Aahz, Aahz, buddy," the Geek pleaded. "What is it you want?"

"I've been watching this contest from K—from the Bazaar, and it just looks to me like you're shifting the odds to suit yourself.

"What do you care?" the Geek countered. "It's not like you've met any of these kids before." Enlightenment dawned on his peaky face. "You must have money riding on it. Put me down and let's talk insurance bets, Aahz. I promise you won't lose a single silver piece. How about it?"

"I don't have money riding on this," I snarled. I wasn't imitating Aahz; the fury emanated straight from me. "I wouldn't bet on anything you had a hand in."

"Er, I can see you might be a little reluctant—Could you put me down? I think people are starting to notice." He pointed over my shoulder.

I glanced back. Several Sittacomedians and a few Trolls wearing SOS insignia had started to move in on us. I flung back a hand, and the security staff went flying.

"Call off ALL of your security. And stop that contest! Now."

"I'll stop it, I'll stop it!" the Geek exclaimed. "Just put me down!"

I lowered him to the floor. "Do it."

The Geek gestured to another young female Deveel in a short, tight skirt. She scurried over, brandishing a pencil and a clipboard.

"Take this one down. Dip the lights. Go to commercial," the Geek ordered.

The young woman spoke into her collar.

Immediately, several flunkies in matte black clothing ran around to do her bidding. Sergeant Pep-up's men suddenly sprang to attention and jogged off the field, leaving their opponents looking confused. Teammates picked one another up from the floor, and limped to the side where white-coated Pervish medics waited with stretchers and little black bags to have their injuries seen to. The monsters all went back to the sidelines. Some of them paused to have makeup daubed onto their faces by Pervects in white smocks carrying palettes and brushes. The spider lowered herself to the ground, where her palps were shined by a couple of Deveels with buffing brushes. Tolk hovered around his fellow teammates, dispensing dogtor magik and sympathetic whines.

Schlein's resonant voice echoed over the darkened arena.

"And now, folks, a word from our sponsor, Caca Doodle Doo, the leading manufacturer on Perv of Realistic Doggie Doodle with Lifelike Odor that Sticks to Your Hands, a product of Edvik Enterprises…"

I didn't have time to remark upon the coincidence. I had more important things on my mind.

"Are you in charge of this entire enterprise?" I asked.

"Not so loud!" the Geek pleaded. "Come into my office." He urged me towards his bubble. I raised an eyebrow at the ladies. Tananda and Markie melted away into the crowd. Bunny attached herself to my elbow and accompanied me in.

I waited until the side sealed up, leaving us alone in the soundproofed sphere.

"Now," the Geek said, sitting down at his desk with his hands folded together on top. "What is troubling you, my friend?"

"It's very simple," I said. "I want you to halt this contest right now. It's off-balance, and people are going to get hurt!"

"I can't do that, old friend," the Geek said, regret written large on his ruddy face. "Danger is the name of the game. It spikes those ratings right through the roof. The sponsors love it."

"I'm going to spike YOU right through the roof," I growled. "Let me put it this way: I can handle the concept of danger. Sometimes it's fun, but only where there's a chance that I can win in the end—I prefer a good chance, but I'll take what I can get. But I have been observing this contest today, and I have seen good evidence that you are skewing the games to make sure certain teams are eliminated. That's bad, considering that your contestants come into this with the understanding that they have to play fair. That means they are expecting you to play fair, too. Right?"

"Er, I'm not really admitting anything, Aahz," the Geek said nervously. "You're not, not recording this, are you?"

I planted a hand on my chest. "Would I be as underhanded as you?"

"Frankly, yes," the Geek said. "I've known you for centuries, Aahz. You're doing some fine talking about fair play, but you haven't always been completely honest in your dealings."

"On Deva!" I bellowed. "On Deva, anything is fair if you can get away with it. If you want to play it by those rules, I can do that. You didn't get away with it. I saw you. These fine ladies saw you."

"A Trollop," the Geek scoffed. "A Klahd and a Cupy."

My voice dropped again. "You know who they are. And, I might point out, that the Klahd you are making fun of is a close relation to a very powerful man with important connections in the Bazaar and elsewhere. So, show some—respect."

I shoved him back in his chair with a thrust of magik, just to remind him I had it. "Now, I can go public with what I saw, and get your sponsors to yank their backing, or maybe you'll just have to stop interfering and tilting the odds the way you want them. I assume you have heavy bets standing on certain teams, and it would look very bad if those bets became public knowledge."

"I can fix everything!" the Geek said. My fist came up under his nose. He blanched to pink. "I mean, I won't fix it, I'll unfix it! I mean."

"You mean you're gonna make this a fair contest, don't you?" I asked, going from gravel-voiced to sweetness in mid-sentence.

"Yes! Yes! That's what I mean! It'll be even, I swear it! From now until the end, when the winner is declared, I swear, there won't be a single deliberate irregularity. Aahz, this is gonna cost me a lot of money. Can I count on you to keep it quiet, if I do what you want? Please?"

"All right," I said. I dropped him. The Geek scrambled up and beckoned to a third fetching Deveel in a very short skirt. She dashed into the bubble and put her pencil to her clipboard.

"Honey, here's what I want you to do…" He reeled off a long list of instructions. She scribbled notes. I folded my arms as I had seen Aahz do so many times, and glared at the Geek to make sure he didn't back out on any part of his promise. "Oh, and get the lottery box, Honey. Bring it up here. I've got to—take a look at it."

Honey gave us a toothy smile and vanished.

"Is that all right, Aahz?" the Geek asked, wringing his hands together. "Is everything okay now?"

"Sure it is," I said. The Geek relaxed and headed for his chair. Before he could sit down I beckoned with a finger, and the chair came rolling over to me. I sat down in it and leaned back with my arms behind my head.

"What are you doing?" he asked, aghast.

"Sticking around," I said. "I just want to make sure that you keep your promises. I'll leave once this contest is over— no matter who wins. It'll be a nice surprise for both of us."

"Yes, it will," he said weakly. He gestured to a stagehand to bring him a chair for him and one for Bunny. I admit it was rude of me to take a seat and not offer it to her, but I had to make the point that I was in control. I glanced up at her to see if she was angry, but she wore a very pleased grin.

The Geek noticed the expressions pass between us and gulped loudly. "Er, may I offer you a drink? Miss Bunny?"

Music played to amuse the audience while the stage was blacked out. The Geek lowered his bubble down to the Arena floor to issue a few orders in person. Bunny sat drinking her Pink Wyvern cocktail with a ladylike little finger stuck out while I stumped up and back in the Geek's little office, trying to look as much like Aahz as possible. I spotted the Sorcerer's Apprentices a few yards from us then hastily glanced away. I knew they couldn't possibly recognize me in this disguise, but I was afraid one of my mannerisms might give me away.

Unfortunately, they had spotted us, too. Jinetta touched her sorority sisters' shoulders and pointed in our direction. The three of them came marching over.

"Hi, Bunny," they said.

"Hi, girls! I can't believe how well you're doing," Bunny said. "I didn't know you were going to be in this contest."

"Well," Freezia began, "we didn't want to say anything in case someone overheard us. Teams have been sabotaged in the past before they got to the contest. Skeeve isn't mad, is he?"

"Oh, no!" Bunny assured them, giving them a big hug. "He's very proud of you."

They all smiled with relief.

"Good," Jinetta breathed. "We all have a great deal of respect for him. We will always think of him as our real teacher."

I felt myself tearing up a little bit. I reached into my belt pouch for a handkerchief and blew my nose loudly to conceal dabbing at my eyes. That brought Jinetta's attention to me.

"Aahz. Are you connected with this game somehow?"

"N—no, I'm not," I said. "I'm just here to observe fair play."

"I see," she said. "Will you be here later? I want to talk with you when this is all over."

"Sure," I said. I didn't plan to be around to have my disguise penetrated, so I felt free to promise almost anything. She stalked back to the others. I could tell they were talking about us.

Bunny noticed. "You could eavesdrop," she reminded me.

"Somehow," I said, "I am not sure I really want to hear what they're saying."

The bustling ended, and the Geek returned to join us in the office.

"Up," he ordered it. Obediently, the silver bubble rose high over the great bowl.

Schlein appeared in the middle of the stage and held up a graceful hand.

"Let the brawl recommenced