Class Dis-Mythed

Chapter Thirteen

In spite of having to maintain our disguises the walk home was much more relaxed than the outward journey. My students laughed and congratulated one another, recapping the whole mission to Humulus and their own successes.

"You were brilliant, Jinetta!" Pologne exclaimed. "I have never heard the fight song rendered with more spirit!"

Jinetta preened with pleasure. "I wish Coach could have been here to see it. But you, Pologne! Your hovering was picture perfect. We could have been back in the lab!"

"That was some pretty flying," Bee said wistfully. "I wish I could do that."

"Oh, you will," Jinetta assured him. "It just takes practice. I'll spot you."

"We all will," Freezia promised. "That was amazing! To think all the magik we learned in school actually has a use in the real world! I thought all the 'power-in, power-out' nonsense was just academic. And, oh, I was never so grateful to see a force line in my life!"

"Me, too," Melvine grunted. "You don't really appreciate them when they're gone. On Sear it didn't seem like such a big deal, but here—"

"You were fabulous," Jinetta told him enthusiastically. "I'm sure none of us could have held on to that big lummox for so long with a diminishing power ratio! And with all those people yelling, too—it was so distracting!"

"Don't forget Bee's calculations," Tolk said. "Wow-wow-wow! We rebuilt that whole town hall in an hour!"

"That was nothing," Bee said modestly. "I read in an old scroll that items that had been bonded for any time had a sympathetic cohesion that could be rejoined by magik. I wouldn't have believed you could have put it together again like a jigsaw puzzle, until Melvine here showed us."

The Cupy waved a hand. "Easy! With all of you and Evad there to steady the stone blocks, I had no problem raising the walls. Nice redecoration, there, by the way, Freezia. When you were done I couldn't see a single crack in the plaster, and the frescoes looked like new."

"Thank you," the petite Pervect said, beaming. "A Magikal Arts major doesn't seem to have turned out to be the useless piece of parchment my parents were afraid it would."

"And how about Pologne's illusion when Skeeve sent the Manticore home?" Bee asked. "Those flames were so real I could almost smell them."

"Oh, it was just a little of this, and a little of that," Pologne said, blushing green.

"We are the best," Tolk exclaimed. "Hey, you know, we oughta have a name! Like—Skeeve's Students! Then we could have matching tunics, and school colors, and everything!"

"Ehhh," Jinetta said. "I don't know about the rest, but I like the idea of a name. Skeeve's Students is a little too pedestrian, and it sounds sort of grade-schoolish. We're here for advanced studies. No offense, Tolk."

"None taken! I'm not very good at names. I bet you are! What do you think?"

"I don't know. Someone throw out some ideas."

"Well," Bee began. The others turned toward him eagerly. "You know Master Skeeve and my sergeant, Swatter, were partners in M.Y.T.H., Inc. What if we called ourselves something related to that."

"Oooh," Pologne squealed. "My parents would be so impressed. I know they've heard of M.Y.T.H., Inc."

"They're famous for magik," Tolk said. "But you Pervects have a lot of amazing machines. So, we're both magikal and technological. Can we do something with that?"

"That's a great idea, Tolk," Freezia exclaimed. "How about it, Jinny?"

The tallest Pervect knitted her scaly brows together. "I know! How about Myth-ka-Technic University? That combines both disciplines along with ancient spirituality!"

"Oh, that's good," Pologne said. "It sounds—advanced."

"Terrific, Miss Jinetta," Bee said. "I like it."

"Not bad," Melvine agreed. "You're good with words."

"Well, thank you!" Jinetta beamed.

"Now, about those tunics," Tolk said.

I listened, letting them jabber on happily, heaping praise on one another and accepting compliments. I was pleased with the way things had turned out. Mostly. I had taken Bunny aside while Tolk was repairing jabbed thighs and gouged shoulders to ask her for our bag of gold. Facing her was almost worse than facing a drunken Manticore. Even after the two extra days we spent in Humulus offering our assistance repairing the town hall as a gesture of good will, she was still angry about it.

"I cannot believe that you paid out our entire travel budget on two tubes of poison!"

"Manticore venom," I corrected her, but my ears were burning. Bunny was the only one who wasn't ecstatically happy about the outcome of our adventure. Gleep trotted alongside her, laying his long neck against her knee, and rolling big blue eyes up at her.

She ignored him, stalking along with crossed arms. "I don't care. You gave away a whole bag of gold because you felt sorry for that sting-tailed oaf! He's the one who got drunk. You didn't put that bottle into his paws. You're not responsible for his problem."

"No," I said with a sigh. She was right. I was being soft. Part of me knew it was counterproductive, but part of me was glad. Evad had been so grateful for my 'deal' that I didn't even think ahead to the fearsome task of having to explain to Bunny why I needed our entire traveling budget so the Manticore could pay off his debts. The reward we had been paid by the headman did cover the amount I had given Evad, plus a little left over. Bunny was not appeased. Still, I thought it had been a great learning experience for my pupils.

"Look, Bunny," I said persuasively, "think of it as an investment. What if you had a potion that changed its effect when you wanted it to? Studying this phenomenon could get us a big profit one day. Think of the applications for non-magicians!"

In spite of herself, she let the corner of her mouth quirk up in a half-smile. "You're just trying to dance your way out of trouble. Skeeve, it's your money. I wouldn't be a very good accountant if I didn't tell you when you were wasting it."

"You're the best," I said sincerely. "Who knows? This really could be the beginning of an important magikal breakthrough. An exclusive!"

"Right up until the time that the Deveels figure out what you did and undercut your deal with the people on Mantico," she pointed out.

I grinned back. "So it's a limited exclusive. But we made a profit, didn't we?"

"My uncle wouldn't consider it a very good return, and neither would Aahz."

"If I'd continued on in magik the way I started out, only caring what I could make from it, you wouldn't still be here, would you?"

Bunny shook her head. "I wouldn't give you the time of day. All right, Skeeve, it's your money."

"It's ours," I declared. "We all earned it."

"Gleep!" my pet crowed, happy that we had made up.

"You were terrific, too," I told him. He jumped up to slime me with his long tongue. "Ugh, Gleep!"

"Gleep," he declared, and trotted off into the woods to find something to eat. Bunny and I grinned as he disappeared into the undergrowth.

"…It's decided, then," Jinetta was saying as we dropped back into the group. "Tomorrow we'll work on Cantrip. Once we're good at that, I wouldn't mind learning Tolk's anti-headache remedy."

"It's easy! It's easy!" the Canidian promised enthusiastically.

Even the old inn seemed to wear a halo of contentment. I wasn't even bothered by the wave of stale air that blew out in my face when I unspelled the main door.

"Come with me," I invited the students. "I have a surprise for you."

Murmuring with curiosity, they followed. I gestured for them to gather around the scarred and stained dining table.

"I assigned you a hard task. You not only rose to the occasion, but you threw in your own flourishes that made it more than a success. You worked together, and you played off each other's strengths. I'm proud of your progress, and I'm proud of you. So, let me add to the festivities a little." I produced the bag of money that Bunny had collected from Headman Flink. "Here's our reward. We get half, since I'm teaching you and Bunny is my support staff. But the rest should rightly be divided between all of you."

I dumped the shining stream of silver out onto the table top. The coins bounced and jingled and rolled around the wooden table top. When the last one vibrated to a ringing halt, I could have heard a fly cough in the big room. I looked up at my students. To my amazement, all of them were staring at me with expressions ranging from dismay to horror.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"We can't accept this, Master Skeeve," Tolk said.

"We don't deserve it," Bee added. "If it wasn't for you, we'd have fallen on our faces a bunch of times."

"But you didn't," I assured him. "All you needed was a little confidence. I did very little. It was your efforts. Take it."

"No!" they protested in unison, the Pervects loudest of all.

"Why not?" Bunny asked. She sorted the money into neat piles, a large one for us and small ones for each of them. "You earned it."

"We can't accept any money from you," Jinetta said, almost desperately. I was puzzled: a Pervect refusing to take money?

"It's apprentice wages," I said calmly. "Less than I'd accept for such a task, even at your level of experience. If you were my partners, you'd be entitled to equal shares. You did a good job. You should participate in the reward."

"No," Melvine said, crossing his little arms. "We won't accept it. Not a copper piece. Not a wooden nickel."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"We can't," Pologne insisted, her yellow eyes large with alarm. "Really. All we want from you is an education. Nothing else. And we'll have to ask you to take that as our final word."

They nodded in unison. I shrugged.

They seemed to be more in accord than they had been at any time before, appearing to have achieved a mutual understanding on the long walk home.

"Well, if that's what you want," I said, "but I promise you would still get the same education from me whether you accept this reward or not."

"No!" Tolk said. "You can't force us to take it."

"Force you?" Freezia snorted. "You wanted to take it. I could see it in your eyes."

"That's not true," the Canidian howled. "How about you? Perverts are greedy. Everyone knows it. Why don't you just take your shares? You know you want to."

"You liar," Jinetta said. "And that's Pervect!"

"In your dreams! Eating food that smells like garbage. That's perverted!"

"Yeah, you're such hypocrites," Melvine sneered. "Slurping down purple worms then it's 'oh, dear, look at that bug! It might crawl on me!'"

"You should talk, Mr. Fearless," Bee said. "What was with you when we first got to Humulus? You're the most powerful of us after Master Skeeve, and you kept bawling like, well, a baby!"

"I had Manticore nightmares as a kid, okay?" Melvine snarled.

"Back off him," Pologne said, her voice rising to a shriek. "Where were you when we were working on containing that beast? Running away yourself?"

Bee's face went pale under its freckles. "With respect, ma'am, I was following Master Skeeve's orders."

"You mean, because you couldn't do magik, right? Spellfree freak!"

I opened my mouth to say that Aahz had been without his magik for a few years, that he was no less formidable without it, but that wouldn't have made Pologne respect him or Bee any more than she did.

"You were sure buddying up with him before," Freezia said scornfully.

"How dare you suggest I'd make friends with a Klahd?"

"Hey," I protested.

In the blink of an eye, the good mood had been shattered. I didn't know how I had managed to ruin it, but the camaraderie had evaporated the moment I had emptied those coins out on the table. Distrust ran wild throughout the class, even between the Pervects.

"What is going on here?" Bunny asked. "Ten minutes ago you were friends. What happened."

They all turned to us, as if caught in the act.

"Oh, nothing," Pologne said, too brightly.

"Look at the time!" Jinetta said hastily. "Dinner soon! We'll go out and get supplies. I hope they still have some fresh sgarnwalds in the market at this hour, don't you, Freezia?"

"Let me pitch in," Melvine insisted, digging in his pocket for coins.

"And me, too," Tolk said. Bee opened his threadbare belt pouch and produced a couple of coppers, which he placed in Jinetta's palm.

"It's only right," Freezia explained to me and Bunny. "Whenever I stay with friends I always buy groceries. I almost never eat up their food. And we know what you like, too. It'll be good. I promise. Bye!"

Before I could reply, the three Pervects disappeared.

"Something is up," Bunny said. She turned to the three male students. "What is going on?"

"Nothing," Melvine said hastily. "Boy, I could sure use a nap." He vanished, the displaced air BAMFig behind him.

"Gotta go walk myself," Tolk added. He scampered out of the door.

"I, uh," Bee began then turned and quick-marched after the Canidian without finishing his sentence.

Bunny, Gleep and I were left alone in the big room.

"Something strange is going on here," Bunny said.

"I think they're just tired," I replied. "Don't be so suspicious."

Bunny narrowed an eye. ''You're too trusting. Tolk was right: Pervects never turn down free money. That's more than strange."

I sighed. "They're not all the same as Aahz. I found that out when I was on Perv. Maybe there is some code among MIP students not to take gifts from their teacher. Probably one of Professor Maguffin's rules. They're always quoting him."

"I don't know," Bunny said, tapping her foot on the floor impatiently. "I'm going to keep my eye on them. All of them."

"Gleep!" Gleep announced.

"Yes," I agreed, patting my pet on the head. "Me, too."

If I had thought the dinner at which I made them switch main courses was awkward, this one deserved a medal for going above and beyond the call of gut-twisting, in more ways than one. Almost as if they wanted to taunt the others, the Pervects, who sat together at one end of the big table, made a point of serving their food in small bites, making sure to give everyone a good look at each slimy, purple pseudopod dripping off the spoon. As promised, the food they brought back for the rest of us was fine, even delicious, though it was harder to enjoy with the nauseating whiff of Pervish cooking overwhelming us.

Melvine sat sniveling to himself during the entire meal. "Nobody likes me. I wring myself dry for them, and they make fun of me! I'm going to run away and go home."

I thought he was expressing the unspoken sentiments of the whole group fairly well.

"You're all selling yourselves and each other short," I said. "You just proved what I've been trying to tell you all along: the best thing you can do is learn to work together. You find one another's strengths and supplement them. That's true whether you're trying to survive in a wilderness situation or in a high-powered company. My associates and I couldn't be beaten because no one could drive a wedge between us. When you're busy cutting each other's throats, then it's easier for someone to sneak up on YOU."

"That's too simple," Tolk said. He remained civil to Bunny and me, though he growled whenever the others glanced his way.

"It's more complicated than it sounds," I said. "There are a lot of factors beyond a person's talents you have to take into consideration. Climate. Uh, personal phobias." That got a wince out of Melvine. I regretted hurting his feelings, but it was a valid statement. "Experience. Inclination. Willingness. You can be the greatest magician in the world, but if you won't get out there and try, you might as well have no magik at all."

"Hmmph," Pologne snorted.

"Look," I said. "We've all been through a lot in the last few days. I don't know about you, but I need a break. Everyone just enjoy themselves this evening. We'll start on some more exercises in the morning. All right?"

"Yes, sir," Bee muttered, not raising his eyes from his plate.

The others murmured their assent. I threw an exasperated glance at Bunny, who shook her head.

After the dishes were washed, I retreated to my study and hoped they'd take advantage of my absence to argue it all out and make peace. I set up an experiment with a couple of strange metallic elements I'd come across in a Bazaar trick shop, but I couldn't concentrate on it. I found I was straining to listen to what was going on in the rest of the inn. Except for the music and voices from Bunny's PDA in the next room, I heard nothing but furtive footsteps on the upper floor.

One tentative set tiptoed down the stairs, coming toward my study.

"Hey, Freezia, do you want to watch Sink or Swim with me?" Bunny called out.

"Uh, no, thanks, Bunny," the dainty Pervect said, almost in a gasp. I heard her feet patter back up the stairs to her room. I heard the murmur of hasty conversation above, then silence. No cheerful conversation, no joshing, no mutual admiration society. The rooms on the upper floor might as well have been vacant, except for the almost-visible waves of distrust that radiated out of them.

I pushed aside my experiment and sank my head into my hands.

What had I done wrong? I pored over the memory of the day over and over again, but I could recall nothing that seemed even remotely like criticism or an insult. I'd lived with a Pervect for years, so I thought I knew their thresholds of intolerance, which in Aahz's case mainly had to do with me being stupid. If I did something wrong out of innocence, he was pretty good about it; if I did something inane, he would flatten me for knowing better and not thinking. I had thought about the gesture of sharing the reward, all the way back from Humulus. Was I too late? Should I have divided up the spoils sooner? Had I been too cheap? Were they looking for a larger percentage of the take? They certainly had earned it. Now they were adamantly against taking any money at all.

I had run into a situation like this on Perv, when I had inadvertantly offended a friend named Edvik by offering him cash as a tip in thanks for services rendered instead of as a gift between equals. It took some fancy talking to straighten things out, the results of which got me into so much trouble that I had been ejected from the dimension permanently as persona non grata.

That was it, I told myself. I might be their teacher, but courtesy needed to extend in both directions. I promised that I would be more careful about my students' pride in the future.