Class Dis-Mythed

Chapter Twenty-One

Before I knew I had even gotten up, I found myself on the threshold of Bunny's dimly lit sitting room. Tananda sprang up from the squashy chair in the corner near the fireplace and folded herself around me like a very tight-fitting straitjacket.

"Hey, Tiger, how are you doing?" She kissed me thoroughly, which is just a Trollop's way of saying hello.

"Mmmph mppphhffpp!" I replied, in no real hurry to extricate myself. She was a wonderful kisser. Too bad I had come to think of her more as a sister than a potential love interest.

"Is that all you can say to me?" Tananda asked with a wink.

"Hi, Skeeve," Markie said shyly.

"Couldn't stand eavesdropping any longer?" Bunny asked.

"I heard the Geek talking," I said, trying not to sound sheepish. I felt my way through the illusion that Bytina spread across the room to find myself a place to sit. "I guess I was curious. His angles are usually bent in some way."

"I don't see how," Bunny said, frowning. "These are games of skill, not chance. You can't deal a volcano off the bottom of the deck."

"I understand where you're coming from," Tananda acknowledged. "The Geek's only as honest as the facts that can be checked."

We all gazed at the image.

The Geek looked about the same as when I had last saw him, but his race lived a very long time compared with Klahds. Schlein looked dapper and sincere in a white collar and blue-flowered tie. Between the red Deveel and the green Sittacomedian, a huge chart appeared.

"Here are my picks in reverse order. At twenty-five to two against, Sharkbait! Next up the list, I give the Gargoyle Girls twelve to one. The Bald Guy with Muscles, our only surviving one-man team, is at nine to one. The Shock Jahks comes in at five to two. The Dragonettes are at three to one. I give Garonamus three to one. The All-Pervects are at even odds."

Schlein interrupted him. "But the real surprise is how well the Sorceror's Apprentices are doing. You've got them at six to one to win today's matchup!"

"That's right, Schlein," the Geek said suavely. "This underdog of a team—no offense to the Canidian in the ranks!—has survived every one of their tasks, even the dangerous Crocodile Cage Match. Frankly, I'm amazed. You'd think any team that had a Klahd in it would be history from the get-go. But no. He's not holding them back too much. So, they're a team to watch. But the All-Pervects are still my number one pick."

"Do you hear that? His number one pick!" Schlein announced to the audience. It responded with roars of approval. "Yes, Perv has reason to be proud of its Perverts!"

"Booooo!" the crowd roared.

"I mean "Pervects, of course! The All-Pervects are the top of the chart!"

More cheering. Schlein wiped his brow.

"A Klahd on a team?" I asked. "I'm amazed he hasn't been toasted by now."

The others shot me an impatient look. I shut up.

Images of the teams popped into view next to their names on the chart, then each picture spread out around the room, increasing to life size so they were easier to see. The All-Pervects were fierce, four males and two females in coveralls that made them look like they meant business. The Bald Guy with Muscles wore black trousers and a skimpy shirt without sleeves. He snarled at the magician capturing him in crystal. For a moment, the image shook. I chuckled. He had psyched out the magician. I bet he was a tough competitor.

The laugh died away in my throat as I turned to the next bubble. The Sorcerer's Apprentices looked strangely familiar. I gawked at the faces of three Pervects in matching pastel jumpsuits, one Cupy in a flannel sleeper, the Canidian in question, and one Klahd. One freckled, red-headed Klahd: Bee, formerly of Her Majesty's Army of Possiltum. My blood seemed to freeze in my body.

"What are THEY doing in there?" I exclaimed.

"Oh, Skeeve," Bunny squealed, clutching my arm, "I forgot to tell you when I got home. The Myth-ka-technic University group entered Sink or Swim! See? They named themselves after you."

"They did?" I thought about it. Sorcerer's Apprentices. I might have liked Skeeve's Sages or The Spellbinders better, but Sorcerer's Apprentices wasn't bad. "I guess they did." A horrible realization came to me. "Is this why they asked me to teach them? For a GAME?"

"I guess so," Bunny said. "Aren't you happy this is why they needed you, and not some nasty reason?"

"For material gain?"

"And why is this suddenly a problem?" she asked. "Isn't that why you wanted to learn magik in the first place?"

"I—" Honesty compelled me to stop and admit that to myself. My own motives had not been pure. I'd thought only of magik as an adjunct tool to help me in my first profession, theft. "But why didn't they mention it?"

Tanda cuddled in on my left side. "I guess, Tiger, that they didn't want you to know. They might have been embarrassed." I frowned. This from a woman who was scarcely ever embarrassed about anything. "You might have said no. You know what you just said. Maybe other teachers would have had scruples against helping amateurs crib for a contest for pure monetary gains."

Garkin would have, I realized. He kept trying to tell me to study magik for myself, but I'd been young and stupid, like these kids were. No, they hadn't been stupid—I had. There were so many questions I had not asked.

"Did Chumley know about this?" I demanded.

"I—" Tanda's green cheeks deepened to the color of spinach. "Yes, he did. He told me, but he'd been 'sworn to secrecy, what?'" she added, in an imitation of her brother's cultured speech pattern. "And he asked me to keep it mum. Believe me, I thought about letting you know, but I couldn't see the harm in it. After all, it's not like they were dragging you in there with them."

"But they are!" I exclaimed. "I mean, what if something happens to them? I'll be responsible for giving them a false sense of security."

"You did nothing of the kind," Markie assured me. "I was here. I saw how you encouraged them to get into the game and try. Even my horrid nephew prospered, and I thought he was a forlorn hope."

"So YOU knew, too."

Markie nodded. "Frankly, I was hoping that spending time with you would make him realize he didn't want to enter the contest, but you cannot tell kids anything. You are selling yourself short, Skeeve. I think you've given him and the others a chance at surviving it honestly. I wanted you to give him the confidence not to have a tantrum and get distracted. That would be the worst thing he could do."

"It could be far worse," I said severely. "Have you seen some of these contests? He could get killed! All of them could! What about Bee? I can't believe Massha would hand me a green youngster and expect me to turn him into a killer contestant!"

"Ooh, look, there he is!" Bunny said suddenly, picking up Bytina to increase the level of sound.

At the side of the arena, a perky Sittacomedian stood with my former students. She was interviewing Bee.

"…Surprised to see someone from Klah in the competition," she was saying. "Tell me, how did you come to join us here on Sink or Swim?"

"Well, I was just learning some extra magik—Ooof!" He stopped as Jinetta edged into the picture and nudged him hard in the ribs with her elbows. "I met these folks on Klah, and well, we all get along pretty well. I never heard of the contest before. They liked me enough that, when they left Klah, they convinced me to come with them. They said it would be fun."

"And is it?" the winsome reporter asked with a huge smile toward the crystal ball.

Bee nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes, ma'am. It's about the most exciting thing I've ever done!"

"He's going to get killed," I pronounced glumly. "All he ever wanted was a head start on his new profession, and he's going to die in a game show. I thought I was helping him!"

"You ought to be proud," Tanda said. "He's taking a chance. Most of your people never get the opportunity to really test themselves like this."

Bunny agreed.

"Everyone at the unicorn show was really impressed when I said they were all your students. The Geek is right. They're doing really well."

"How?" I demanded. "They're still as raw as steak tartare!"

"Oh, you wouldn't believe it," Tananda assured me. "You'd never know they're complete amateurs. I've never seen Pervects cooperate with any other race like that, well, since you and Aahz, really. The whole group operates like a well-oiled machine. They split up a task and tackle it. You'd think they had the details of every event planned out in advance."

"Knowing the Geek, someone might be tipping them off," I said worriedly. I scanned the other teams and groaned. Dragons! Trolls! Landsharks! Deveels! The opposition looked like the Who's Who Compendium of Tough Competitors. Next to them, my students looked like a field trip from a junior high school.

"But they all take an oath to play fair," Bunny insisted. "They wouldn't cheat."

"If they were told that being given the information was part of the game, they may not be aware it was cheating. Remember, they really are new at this. They won't know they're being manipulated," I said.

"Are you sure?" Bunny asked. "Melvine sounded pretty savvy."

"I think it's all window-dressing," I said. "He bluffed a lot. He'd say he knew how to cast a spell even when he had no idea."

"What about the Pervects?" Tanda asked.

"College students," I moaned. "They believed everything their professors told them. They would take anything an authority figure said at face value."

"Shh!" Bunny said. "The game is beginning."