Through the Zombie Glass

Chapter 23 The Rain of Broken Glass

With the tick of a clock loud in my ears, I watched Z.A. glide off the porch and into the driveway. She paused to look back at me and crook her finger, a silent command for me to follow. A need to know her purpose consumed me, and I stepped off after her.

Uncheck from list: disabled.

“Ali,” Cole called.

“Tell Nana I’ll be back as soon as possible. And don’t come after me.” Who knew where she was leading me?

Z.A. continued moving forward, across the street, into someone else’s yard. The sun was hidden behind thick gray clouds, creating a dreary backdrop. Any moment, I expected fat raindrops to fall, soaking and freezing me. I wondered how she would react—if the water would even touch her.

“Food’s ready,” Kat called. She must have stuck her head outside the door.

I never heard Cole’s reply.

Z.A. ghosted through a fence, and I was forced to climb it. Thankfully, no one was in the backyard to accuse me of trespassing. We repeated this process three more times before coming to a creek with tall, brittle grass.

She glanced back at me and giggled.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

“You’ll see,” came the singsong reply. She continued on.

I stayed in place, debating the wisdom of my actions. But then, the farther away she moved, the more I felt pulled toward her. Compelled. My feet kicked into gear without any prompting.

She reached another front yard, another fence. Again she ghosted through. Again I climbed. We exited the backyard, came to a street, and she stopped to once again crook her finger at me. I closed the distance, putting us nose to nose.

“How are you doing this?” I snapped.

She reached up, traced her fingers over my cheek. I couldn’t feel the pressure of her touch, but I could feel the coldness of her skin—a cold far worse than the air around us.

I shuddered.

“So pretty,” she said.

I jerked away from her reach. “I can’t return the compliment.”

Her lips curled in a slow smile. She leaned forward and whispered, “If I can’t have your body, I’ll have to get rid of it and free myself from our connection.”

In the distance, I heard the honk of a car. A second later, something hard slammed into me, throwing me a good distance. I landed, lost my breath and then the “something” slammed on top of me, pushing out any air that had managed to remain in my lungs. As pain tore through me, the sound of squealing tires registered.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” Cole shouted.

I glanced up. A car zoomed past the place I’d just been standing, swerving, finally managing to straighten out. I looked across the road, my gaze colliding with Z.A’s.

I saw fury.

“You disappeared for a moment,” Cole said. “I couldn’t see you. I don’t think the driver could see you. Then you reappeared and the car honked, but you just stood there.”

“I...” Wasn’t sure what to say. Z.A. had just tried to kill me.

“That’s it. I’m officially signing on as your keeper.” He stood, hefted me over his shoulder as if I were a bag of potatoes and carried me toward Kat’s house.

“Let me go, Cole. I’m going to murder her!” I beat at his back, not to hurt him but to gain his attention. He never slowed.

Z.A. watched us warily as we closed in on her.

“Murder who?” he asked casually.

“Her! My tormentor.” I would force my own spirit out of my body, and I would summon the fire and burn her to ash—whether the fire was white or red. If she could survive without me, I could survive without her. Surely.

He turned a corner, and she stretched out her arm. He had no idea. I, however, felt her as she was sucked back inside me.

Argh! “Why can’t you see her? You can see other spirits.”

“I don’t know. Maybe, like you, she has special abilities. Maybe she can cloak herself.”

That...made sense. Terrible, scary sense.

“Tell me everything that just happened, Ali. Give me the long version, but make it short. I want the full story before we reach Kat’s.”

“She left my body, and she tried to kill me, and now she’s back inside me, and she’ll be more careful, because she’s smart and she knows I can’t get to her until she leaves me again.” Frustration overwhelmed me, and I banged my fists into his back with more force. “I hate this. I hate her!” I accidentally kneed him in the stomach, but he held firm.

“Ali, calm down.”

No. I was done with calm. I twisted my upper body, sliding off his shoulder. He couldn’t stop me, but he made sure to catch me before I hit the ground. I came up fast, trying to avoid him, intending to run. The moment I was alone, I was going to freaking kill the zombie inside me!

He grabbed my wrist and kept me in place. “Calm down,” he repeated. “I mean it.”

Calm? Calm! I. Utterly. Exploded.

I launched myself at him, throwing a left, right, left. He ducked, then arched, then swung in the other direction, but I never managed to land a blow and that angered me all the more.

“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded.

“My life is changing again, and just when I think I’m on the right road, something else happens to prove me wrong, and I’m so tired of being wrong and I think I’m mad at you because you stayed away an extra three days, and now you’re back but I know it would be best if I stayed away from you and everyone else because I could hurt you, seriously hurt you, and I just don’t know how much more I can take!”

I swung at him. Again he ducked.

“You think it was easy to stay away from you?”

“Yes.”

“My dad told me he’d keep his nose out of my relationship with you if I’d keep away from you for ten days. Just ten. No contact. I think he hoped the craving would fade. Do you know what day this is, Ali? Nine. I couldn’t make it one more damn night.”

I stilled, panting. I didn’t know what to say to that.

He stared over at me. “I love you, Ali. Do you understand? I love you.”

Wait. What? “You love me?”

“I’ve never said those words to another girl.” He lifted his chin, squared his shoulders and braced his legs apart, as if preparing for a real battle. “You’re stubborn, too curious for your own good and you’ve become a wild card, but yes, I love you.”

He.

Loved.

Me.

“And that’s how you tell me?” Snarling, I kicked out my leg and knocked his ankles together. He fell backward, and I followed him down, throwing more punches—but these lacked any heat. My heart was too busy doing somersaults.

He rolled me to my back and pinned my arms over my head. I bucked, but he weighed more than me, and I couldn’t dislodge him. Our gazes met, and tension smoldered between us, hot and strong and undeniable.

“Let me go,” I rasped.

“Never again,” he replied.

I was breathing so heavily my chest rubbed against his. Our legs were tangled, and I could feel every inch of him. I ran my tongue over the seam of my mouth, anger giving way to need.

“Tell me how you feel about me,” he croaked.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. If I said the words—I love you, Cole, love you so much I ache—he would keep his word to never let me go, and he had to let me go. “I told you. I’m no good for you right now. That’s the only thing that hasn’t changed, and I’m not going to risk—”

“So you’re not ready. Okay. I get it. We’ll revisit this subject later.” He lowered his head, until his nose brushed mine.

I breathed him in. “No. Not later.”

“Fine. We’ll finish it now. I want you, and you want me. For now, that’ll have to be enough.” He smashed his mouth against mine, his tongue thrusting deep, and I moaned at the perfection of it. His taste, his heat, his strength, his...everything. This was what I’d missed. This was what I’d craved. Us...together. Not out of anger or hurt. Just need.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched up, unable to help myself. He released my hands, and I immediately tangled my fingers in his hair.

“This doesn’t mean we’re back together,” I said.

“Whatever you say, Ali-gator.”

The pressure escalated, almost unbearable, yet not enough—not enough, must have more—as his hands roamed over me, kneading my breasts, doing things to the centers...such thrilling things. With all the different emotions still rampaging through me, my skin became more sensitive, my blood all the hotter; my nerve endings hummed. I loved it. I hated it.

I loved him. Had to tell him. Couldn’t tell him. I had to stop this, but I wanted more. So much more. Desperate for as much skin-to-skin contact as I could get, I slid my hands under his shirt and scoured my nails over the ridges of his spine. He hissed in a breath.

“I love it when you touch me,” he said.

I did it again, and the kiss spun out of control, until we were nipping at each other, and he was pulling at my clothes, and I was pulling at his, and oh, this was going to happen, wasn’t it? Here and now, outside, in the cold. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left, so nothing would stop me from stealing this moment.

“O-kay. I should have guessed this was why you both took off so unexpectedly.”

Nothing except Frosty.

Dang it! I was so sick of interruptions!

Cole sprang away from me, assuming a battle-ready position.

Frosty rolled his shoulders, hard and intractable, and just as ready. “Don’t bother trying to get rid of me. I’m not leaving without Ali. Nana is worried.”

“Fine. But you will turn around,” Cole snapped.

Though he looked as if he wanted to protest, Frosty obeyed.

My cheeks burned, and my heart pounded as I sat up. Cole helped me right my disheveled clothing before righting his own. Our gazes locked for a long, strained moment, and we both knew there were a million things we needed to say, but couldn’t. Not now.

Later, he mouthed, hooking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I should tell him no again, that this was it, the end. I might be dangerous to his health, but he was dangerous to my self-control. Instead, I found myself nodding.

Cole kept his arm around me while we walked back to the house.

“So, listen, Ali,” Frosty said. “I know I haven’t been your biggest fan lately, and I’m sorry. I like you, I do, and I know you’re going through something tough right now, but I saw what you did to Cole and I imagined you doing it to Kat. I can’t let you do it to Kat,” he said raggedly. “She isn’t strong enough to survive.”

“I understand,” I replied. “I’ve been so careful around her. If ever I feel even the slightest urge come upon me, I leave her and dose up on the antidote. I don’t want to see her hurt, either.”

His nod was stiff, but it was a start.

“Ali, honey.”

Nana’s voice pulled me from a deep sleep.

“I’m headed to the grocery. Is there anything you need?”

“What time is it?” I asked on a moan.

“Eight.”

Too early. It was the day after Christmas and I didn’t have anywhere to be until five. I would have liked to sleep till four. I’d stayed up late, trying to taunt Z.A. into leaving my body and fighting me. She’d ignored me, and I’d finally fallen into bed. Now I was tired. So very tired.

“I’m good. Thanks, though.”

“All right, then. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

I put a pillow over my head. Heard footsteps. The whine of my door as it shut.

I wasn’t sure how much time actually passed before I heard cabinet doors banging shut, then silence, then the slam of the front door, as if Nana had left again.

I wanted to get up and investigate, but I just didn’t have the energy.

The doorbell rang.

I rolled out of bed, pulled a robe over my tank and shorts and stalked into the living room. Expecting Kat and a thousand questions about what had happened with Cole, since we hadn’t had a moment alone to talk, I opened the door. Gavin leaned against the frame, a formidable sight with his pale hair spiked back from his face and his eyes glinting ice.

He’d come over several others times, but I’d reverted to ignoring him.

“You need to stop avoiding me, and we need to talk about what happened the last time I was here,” he said.

“Okay,” I said, and moved aside. I could be brave. “Fine.”

He stomped his way inside, and I shut the door.

“Just...give me a few minutes first. I just got out of bed.” I raced into my room, brushed my teeth and hair, then threw on a T-shirt and jeans. I glanced at the mirror as I raced back out and gritted my teeth when I saw Z.A. grinning smugly at me.

I scowled at her. “Soon,” I told her. “We’re going to have a showdown.”

She smirked.

“You hungry?” I asked Gavin when I reached the living room. “You want some breakfast?”

He eyed me suspiciously, but said, “Sure.”

I put biscuits in the oven, fried bacon and whisked up some gravy. He watched me, but didn’t speak (or try to help). I didn’t push him. When everything was ready, I slid a plate in his direction.

“No eggs?” he asked.

“Wow. Your gratitude is humbling.”

A smile teased the corners of his mouth. “What? I like eggs.”

My lips twitched, as well. I hadn’t liked seeing him so formal. I sat beside him, and we dug into the food.

Finally he said, “I’ve been thinking about things, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize what was going on with you sooner...sorry I put my hands on you and tried for more than a few licks. I’ve gotten to know you over the past few months, and I should have realized you never would have made a move on me while your grandmother was a few feet away. And you did try to warn me.”

Wait. He was apologizing to me? Not what I’d expected. “Well, I’m sorry I tried to eat you.”

His lips stretched in a full-blown smile this time. “From anyone else, those words would be a turn-on. You, not so much.”

I laughed. “I have to admit, I’m a little surprised you didn’t kill me the moment you realized what was happening.”

“I won’t lie. I thought about it. I mean, I know you had pulled out of similar crazes before, but this was the first time one had been directed at me. Problem was, I would have had to go through Cole to get to you, and I would have had to kill him to get through him, because he wouldn’t have stopped shielding you any other way. That boy really loves you.”

I turned away to hide the elation surely shining in my eyes; someone else had noticed his feelings for me—and came face-to-face with Zombie Ali.

She stood beside me, and she was still grinning.

Looked like our showdown was today.

Heart slamming against my ribs, I pushed my spirit out of my body without any hindrance; chilly air enveloped me. As I shivered, I reached for her, but she giggled and darted behind the couch.

“You’re gonna get it now,” I said.

“Ali?” Gavin said.

“Do you see her?” I pointed.

“See who?”

Cole thought she could shield herself, and maybe she could. “Stay here. You can’t see or hear the zombie in the room. She cloaks herself, and I don’t want her to hurt you.”

“Can’t catch me,” she sang.

“I can’t wait to prove you wrong.” I dived for her, and slammed into the top of the couch. Had we not doused all of our furniture with the Blood Lines, I would have ghosted through. But we had, and now everything was as solid to my spirit was it was to my body. Couldn’t forget again.

As I threw my legs over the edge of the couch, I summoned the fire. Small red flames began to crackle at the ends of my fingers. Red? Why red? Z.A. was no longer inside my body.

Maybe her toxin was still there. Maybe—

The cushions beneath my palms burned to ash. What the heck?

Z.A. zoomed past me, and I reached for her. I missed, popped to my feet and gave chase. In the kitchen, she circled the granite-topped island. I threw myself on top, sliding...falling...the entire structure crashed into the floor, taking me with it.

“Stop,” Gavin shouted. “Ali, you have to stop this.”

Laughing, Z.A. raced down the hall, into Nana’s bedroom. She jumped on the bed. Again I dived for her. When I hit the pillows, the bed disintegrated, and I toppled to the floor.

Dang her!

She slipped out of Nana’s room and into mine. I was right behind her. She knocked a chair into my path. I picked it up and threw it across the room, aiming for her head.

The chair burned midway, ash drifting through the air.

Can’t blow this chance.

“Nah, nah, nah, nah, you can’t catch me.”

“—happening?” I heard Nana say. “How? Her body is in the kitchen. She can’t be doing this! No one can! There’s no one in here.”

Her voice penetrated the dark determination urging me on. I blinked, forcing myself to focus on the natural world. Nana stood in the doorway, pale and trembling, gazing around the room I’d destroyed. Gavin and Cole stood beside her.

I took a step toward her.

The boys moved in front of her, blocking her from my path.

“Get her grandmother out of here,” Cole said to Gavin.

Gavin took Nana by the arm and drew her back. I reached for her again, realized my hands were still ablaze with the red flames and froze with horror.

Had contact been made, I would have reached past flesh and burned her spirit—and what happened in the spirit always manifested in the flesh. She would have died.

I would have killed her.

Exactly what Z.A. must have wanted. She’d failed to kill me, so she’d gone after my loved one through me. And I’d let her. I hadn’t stopped to think about the wisdom of my actions.

“You’re worse, Ali,” Cole said, holding out his hands in the most nonthreatening gesture he could manage, approaching me. “I’m afraid we won’t be able to control you if something like this happens again.”

“Cole.”

“Don’t agree with me,” he interjected. “Don’t say anything. Just think about what you’re doing right now, all right?”

But I had to tell him—no, I couldn’t. He was right. If I believed it, I would receive whatever I said.

I looked behind me, unsure what to do about Z.A.

She wasn’t there.

My gaze darted to the mirror. There. She was there.

Back inside me. Scowling.

“Put the fire out for me, okay?” Cole said gently.

I tried, I really did, but the flames only grew hotter, only spread faster.

“I’m sorry, Ali,” Cole said, and reached for the minicrossbow he kept stashed at his ankle. Rather than load it with an arrow, he loaded it with a syringe. Then he stepped out of his body, so that we were spirit to spirit.

He paused, then said, “I thought about the vision, and stopped carrying arrows. Realized I might need antidote instead.” A second later, a sharp pain hit my neck.

In a blink, he had another syringe loaded and flying at me. I experienced another sharp sting. Warmth rushed through me, and yet the flames began to wane...finally vanished.

He loaded a third. “This is a sedative.”

I felt a third sting, and whatever the sedative was, it worked quickly. Darkness fell over me, and my knees collapsed. I knew nothing more.

My head pounded as I blinked open my eyes. I lay on...my bed? No, the mattress beneath me was too narrow to be mine. Gingerly I sat up. Dizziness struck me, and I moaned.

“Hey, Ali-gator.”

Cole’s voice. I breathed deep in an effort to clear my head, saw the haunting beauty of his face. I hated to look away, but curiosity got to me. We...were in a small bedroom I didn’t recognize, with log walls and planked floors.

“You’re in a secluded home Ankh owns. It’s twenty miles from my house,” he said, “but they aren’t highway miles, so it takes me forty minutes to get here.”

I’d been banished.

My expression must have fallen to reflect my dismay, even though I knew this was for the best, because he added, “You’re too dangerous to be around others right now, sweetheart.”

Acid eroded my throat, and I choked. “I know, and I probably should have been sent here weeks ago. But, um, how long will I be allowed to stay?”

“As long as it takes.”

To heal...or to die, whichever came first. “Cole...”

“You have to quit your job, I’m sorry. Your grandmother is going to call your boss. And when school starts back up, she plans on speaking to the principal about allowing us to set up a computer so that you can remotely attend your classes. If they won’t let you, you’ll have to quit the district for a home school program.”

“Cole,” I said, trying again. What did I want to say to him? I wasn’t sure.

He shook his head, dark hair falling and hanging in his eyes. “I took your journal,” he continued. “I’ll go through every page, every passage. Emma told me the key to saving you is in there.”

“When did you talk to her?”

“This morning. She came to see me, and I think I freaked out my dad. He wanted to know why I was talking to air.”

I smiled.

Cole pushed out a breath. “Better.”

“What?”

He cupped my cheek. I reached up, wrapped my fingers around his wrists. “I hate that you’ve been hurt by all of this, I needed to see you smile.”

No wonder I was drawn to this boy. “How can you still like me after everything I’ve done?”

His thumb brushed away a tear that had seeped from the corner of my eye. “It isn’t that I like you, Ali, it’s that I can’t stop liking you. And I don’t want to stop. Besides, you were trying to end a zombie. That’s admirable.”

“You saw her?”

“I did. Her shield slipped for just a second when Gavin and I stepped in front of your grandmother. She was so angry her eyes glowed bright red. When I met her gaze I think it scared her, because she raced back into you.”

“We haven’t seen the end of her.” I could still feel her, a presence in the back of my mind. A heartbeat I had failed to stop.

“We’ll find a way to beat her,” he said, and I nodded despite my fears.

Emma had said the same.

Nana had said the same.

Heck, I had said the same.

Now...I wasn’t so sure.

“You know,” Cole said, “my mom once told me a boy would know he’d become a man when he stopped putting himself first. She said a girl would come along and I wouldn’t be able to get her out of my mind. She said this girl would frustrate me, confuse me and challenge me, but she would also make me do whatever was necessary to be a better man—the man she needed. With you, I want to be better. I want to be what you need. Tell me what you need.”

I need...you, I thought.

Mackenzie had told me she hoped Cole would meet a girl he couldn’t live without. In that moment, I was pretty certain I was that girl. And it was odd to me. So much had happened. So much had yet to happen. But this...thing between us hadn’t changed.

“Will you get on the bed with me?” I asked.

His smile was wry. “I will give you anything but that. I know us, and I know what happens when we kiss and if I get up there, we’re going to kiss. And I’m good with that, crave it, but there’s no one here to stop us.”

“You think Zombie Ali will take over again?”

“Maybe she will, maybe she won’t, but it’s not that.”

“Good. Because I don’t think I’ll want you to stop,” I admitted softly.

He brought my hand to his mouth, kissed my knuckles. “And you don’t know how happy that makes me. But I don’t have a condom and I refuse to risk you, even by pulling out. I don’t have a disease or anything like that,” he added in a rush. “I’ve never been with a girl without a condom, but getting you pregnant is a very real concern.”

For once I wasn’t embarrassed to talk about this with him. “Oh. Well, that sucks.”

“Believe me. I know.” He stood and looked down at me. “I stocked the fridge with all the food I know you like. I expect you to eat it.”

“I will.”

“I’ll come back tomorrow. And every day after.”

“I’ll miss you,” I said.

He reached for me. Balled his hand just before contact. And then he walked away.

This time, he looked back more times than I could count.