The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

7

I look at Wyoh, she looks at me; we laugh. I jump up and yip, "Hooray!" Wyoh starts to cry, throws arms around Prof, kisses him.

Mike said plaintively, "I do not understand. The chances are seven to one against us. Not for us."

Wyoh stopped slobbering Prof and said, "Hear that? Mike said 'us.' He included himself."

"Of course. Mike old cobber, we understood. But ever know a Loonie to refuse to bet when he stood a big fat chance of one in seven?"

"I have known only you three. Not sufficient data for a curve."

"Well... we're Loonies. Loonies bet. Hell, we have to! They shipped us up and bet us we couldn't stay alive. We fooled 'em. We'll fool 'em again! Wyoh. Where's your pouch? Get red hat. Put on Mike. Kiss him. Let's have a drink. One for Mike, too--want a drink, Mike?"

"I wish that I could have a drink," Mike answered wistfully, "as I have wondered about the subjective effect of ethanol on the human nervous system--I conjecture that it must be similar to a slight overvoltage. But since I cannot, please have one in my place."

"Program accepted. Running. Wyoh, where's hat!" Phone was flat to wall, let into rock--no place to hang hat. So we placed it on writing shelf and toasted Mike and called him "Comrade!" and almost he cried. His voice fugged up. Then Wyoh borrowed Liberty Cap and put on me and kissed me into conspiracy, officially this time, and so all out that my eldest wife would faint did she see--then she took hat and put on Prof and gave him same treatment and I was glad Mike had reported his heart okay.

Then she put it on own head and went to phone, leaned close, mouth between binaurals and made kissing sounds. "That's for you, Mike dear comrade. Is Michelle there?"

Blimey if he didn't answer in soprano voice: "Right here, darling--and I am so 'appee!"

So Michelle got a kiss, and I had to explain to Prof who "Michelle" was and introduce him. He was formal, sucking air and whistling and clasping hands--sometimes I think Prof was not right in his head.

Wyoh poured more vodka. Prof caught her, mixed ours with coffee, hers with chai, honey in all. "We have declared the Revolution," he said firmly, "now we execute it. With clear heads. Manuel, you were opted chairman. Shall we begin?"

"Mike is chairman," I said. "Obvious. Secretary, too. We'll never keep anything in writing; first security rule. With Mike, don't need to. Let's bat it around and see where we are; I'm new to business."

"And," said Prof, "still on the subject of security, the secret of Mike should be restricted to this executive cell, subject to unanimous agreement--all three of us--correction: all four of us--that is must be extended."

"What secret?" asked Wyoh. "Mike agreed to help our secrets. He's safer than we are; he can't be brainwashed, Can you be, Mike dear?"

"I could be brainwashed," Mike admitted, "by enough voltage. Or by being smashed, or subjected to solvents, or positive entropy through other means--I find the concept disturbing. But if by 'brainwashing' you mean could I be compelled to surrender our secrets, the answer is an unmodified negative."

I said, "Wye, Prof means secret of Mike himself. Mike old pal, you're our secret weapon--you know that, don't you?"

He answered self-consciously, "It was necessary to take that into consideration in computing the odds."

"How were odds without you, comrade? Bad?"

"They were not good. Not of the same order."

"Won't press you. But a secret weapon must be secret, Mike, does anybody else suspect that you are alive?"

"Am I alive?" His voice held tragic loneliness.

"Uh, won't argue semantics. Sure, you're alive!"

"I was not sure. It is good to be alive. No, Mannie my first friend, you three alone know it. My three friends."

"That's how must be if bet's to pay off. Is okay? Us three and never talk to anybody else?"

"But we'll talk to you lots!" Wyoh put in.

"It is not only okay," Mike said bluntly, "it is necessary. It was a factor in the odds."

"That settles it," I said. "They have everything else; we have Mike. We keep it that way. Say! Mike, I just had a horrid. We fight Terra?"

"We will fight Terra... unless we lose before that time."

"Uh, riddle this. Any computers smart as you? Any awake?"

He hesitated. "I don't know, Man."

"No data?"

"Insufficient data. I have watched for both factors, not only in technical journals but everywhere else. There are no computers on the market of my present capacity... but one of my model could be augmented just as I have been. Furthermore an experimental computer of great capacity might be classified and go unreported in the literature."

"Mmm... chance we have to take."

"Yes, Man."

"There aren't any computers as smart as Mike!" Wyoh said scornfully. "Don't be silly, Mannie."

"Wyoh, Man was not being silly. Man, I saw one disturbing report. It was claimed that attempts are being made at the University of Peiping to combine computers with human brains to achieve massive capacity. A computing Cyborg."

"They say how?"

"The item was non-technical."

"Well... won't worry about what can't help. Right, Prof?"

"Correct, Manuel. A revolutionist must keep his mind free of worry or the pressure becomes intolerable."

"I don't believe a word of it," Wyoh added. "We've got Mike and we're going to win! Mike dear, you say we're going to fight Terra--and Mannie says that's one battle we can't win. You have some idea of how we can win, or you wouldn't have given us even one chance in seven. So what is it?"

"Throw rocks at them," Mike answered.

"Not funny," I told him. "Wyoh, don't borrow trouble. Haven't even settled how we leave this pooka without being nabbed. Mike, Prof says nine guards were killed last night and Wyoh says twenty-seven is whole bodyguard. Leaving eighteen. Do you know if that's true, do you know where they are and what they are up to? Can't put on a revolution if we dasn't stir out."

Prof interrupted. "That's a temporary exigency, Manuel, one we can cope with. The point Wyoming raised is basic and should be discussed. And daily, until solved. I am interested in Mike's thoughts."

"Okay, okay--but will you wait while Mike answers me?"

"Sorry, sir."

"Mike?"

"Mike?"

"Man, the official number of Warden's bodyguards is twenty-seven. If nine were killed the official number is now eighteen."

"You keep saying 'official number.' Why?"

"I have incomplete data which might be relevant. Let me state them before advancing even tentative conclusions. Nominally the Security Officer's department aside from clerks consists only of the bodyguard. But I handle payrolls for Authority Complex and twenty-seven is not the number of personnel charged against the Security Department."

Prof nodded. "Company spies."

"Hold it, Prof. Who are these other people?"

Mike answered, "They are simply account numbers, Man. I conjecture that the names they represent are in the Security Chiefs data storage location."

"Wait, Mike. Security Chief Alvarez uses you for files?"

"I conjecture that to be true, since his storage location is under a locked retrieval signal."

I said, "Bloody," and added, "Prof, isn't that sweet? He uses Mike to keep records, Mike knows where they are--can't touch 'em!"

"Why not, Manuel?"

Tried to explain to Prof and Wyoh sorts of memory a thinkum has--permanent memories that can't be erased because patterns be logic itself, how it thinks; short-term memories used for current programs and then erased like memories which tell you whether you have honeyed coffee; temporary memories held long as necessary--milliseconds, days, years--but erased when no longer needed; permanently stored data like a human being's education--but learned perfectly and never forgotten--though may be condensed, rearranged, relocated, edited--and last but not finally, long lists of special memories ranging from memoranda files through very complex special programs, and each location tagged by own retrieval signal and locked or not, with endless possibilities on lock signals: sequential, parallel, temporal, situational, others.

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. Wyoh couldn't see why, if Mike knew where Alvarez kept records, Mike didn't trot over and fetch.

I gave up. "Mike, can you explain?"

"I will try, Man. Wyoh, there is no way for me to retrieve locked data other than through external programming. I cannot program myself for such retrieval; my logic structure does not permit it. I must receive the signal as an external input."

"Well, for Bog's sake, what is this precious signal?"

"It is," Mike said simply, "'Special File Zebra'"--and waited.

"Mike!" I said. "Unlock Special File Zebra." He did, and stuff started spilling out. Had to convince Wyoh that Mike hadn't been stubborn. He hadn't--he almost begged us to tickle him on that spot. Sure, he knew signal. Had to. But had to come from outside, that was how he was built.

"Mike, remind me to check with you all special-purpose locked-retrieval signals. May strike ice other places."

"So I conjectured, Man."

"Okay, we'll get to it later. Now back up and go over this stuff slowly--and, Mike, as you read out, store again, without erasing, under Bastille Day and tag it 'Fink File.' Okay?"

"Programmed and running."

"Do that with anything new he puts in, too."

Prime prize was list of names by warrens, some two hundred, each keyed with a code Mike identified with those blind pay accounts.

Mike read out Hong Kong Luna list and was hardly started when Wyoh gasped, "Stop, Mike! I've got to write these down!"

I said, "Hey! No writing! What's huhu?"

"That woman, Sylvia Chiang, is comrade secretary back home! But-- But that means the Warden has our whole organization!"

"No, dear Wyoming," Prof corrected. "It means we have his organization."

"But--"

"I see what Prof means," I told her. "Our organization is just us three and Mike. Which Warden doesn't know. But now we know his organization. So shush and let Mike read. But don't write; you have this list--from Mike--anytime you phone him. Mike, note that Chiang woman is organization secretary, former organization, in Kongville."

"Noted."

Wyoh boiled over as she heard names of undercover finks in her town but limited herself to noting facts about ones she knew. Not all were "comrades" but enough that she stayed riled up. Novy Leningrad names didn't mean much to us; Prof recognized three, Wyoh one. When came Luna City Prof noted over half as being "comrades." I recognized several, not as fake subversives but as acquaintances. Not friends-- Don't know what it would do to me to find someone I trusted on boss fink's payroll. But would shake me.

It shook Wyoh. When Mike finished she said, "I've got to get home! Never in my life have I helped eliminate anyone but I am going to enjoy putting the black on these spies!"

Prof said quietly, "No one will be eliminated, dear Wyoming."

"What? Professor, can't you take it? Though I've never killed anyone, I've always known it might have to be done."

He shook head. "Killing is not the way to handle a spy, not when he doesn't know that you know that he is a spy."

She blinked. "I must be dense."

"No, dear lady. Instead you have a charming honesty.... weakness you must guard against. The thing to do with a spy is to let him breathe, encyst him with loyal comrades, and feed him harmless information to please his employers. These creatures will be taken into our organization. Don't be shocked; they will be in very special cells. 'Cages' is a better word. But it would be the greatest waste to eliminate them--not only would each spy be replaced with someone new but also killing these traitors would tell the Warden that we have penetrated his secrets. Mike amigo mio, there should be in that file a dossier on me. Will you see?"

Were long notes on Prof, and I was embarrassed as they added up to "harmless old fool." He was tagged as a subversive--that was why he had been sent to The Rock--as a member of underground group in Luna City. But was described as a "troublemaker" in organization, one who rarely agreed with others.

Prof dimpled and looked pleased. "I must consider trying to sell out and get myself placed on the Warden's payroll." Wyoh did not think this funny, especially when he made clear was not joke, merely unsure tactic was practical. "Revolutions must be financed, dear lady, and one way is for a revolutionary to become a police spy. It is probable that some of those prima-facie traitors are actually on our side."

"I wouldn't trust them!"

"Ah, yes, that is the rub with double agents, to be certain where their loyalties--if any--lie. Do you wish your own dossier? Or would you rather hear it in private?"

Wyoh's record showed no surprises. Warden's finks had tabbed her years back. But I was surprised that I had a record, too--routine check made when I was cleared to work in Authority Complex. Was classed as "non-political" and someone had added "not too bright" which was both unkind and true or why would I get mixed up in Revolution?

Prof had Mike stop read-out (hours more), leaned back and looked thoughtful. "One thing is clear," he said. "The Warden knew plenty about Wyoming and myself long ago. But you, Manuel, are not on his black list."

"After last night?"

"Ah, so. Mike, do you have anything In that file entered in the last twenty-four hours?"

Nothing. Prof said, "Wyoming is right that we cannot stay here forever. Manuel, how many names did you recognize? Six, was it? Did you see any of them last night?"

"No. But might have seen me."

"More likely they missed you in the crowd. I did not spot you until I came down front and I've known you since you were a boy. But it is most unlikely that Wyoming traveled from Hong Kong and spoke at the meeting without her activity being known to the Warden." He looked at Wyoh. "Dear lady, could you bring yourself to play the nominal role of an old man's folly?"

"I suppose so. How, Professor?"

"Manuel is probably in the clear. I am not but from my dossier it seems unlikely that the Authority's finks will bother to pick me up. You they may wish to question or even to hold; you are rated as dangerous. It would be wise for you to stay out of sight. This room-- I'm thinking of renting it for a period--weeks or even years. You could hide in it--if you do not mind the obvious construction that would be placed on your staying here."

Wyoh chuckled. "Why, you darling! Do you think I care what anyone thinks? I'd be delighted to play the role of your bundle baby--and don't be too sure I'd be just playing."

"Never tease an old dog," he said mildly. "He might still have one bite. I may occupy that couch most nights. Manuel, I intend to resume my usual ways--and so should you. While I feel that it will take a busy cossack to arrest me, I will sleep sounder in this hideaway. But in addition to being a hideout this room is good for cell meetings; it has a phone."

Mike said, "Professor, may I offer a suggestion?"

"Certainly, amigo, we want your thoughts."

"I conclude that the hazards increase with each meeting of our executive cell. But meetings need not be corporal; you can meet--and I can join you if I am welcome--by phone."

"You are always welcome, Comrade Mike; we need you. However--" Prof looked worried.

I said, "Prof, don't worry about anybody listening in." I explained how to place a "Sherlock" call. "Phones are safe if Mike supervises call. Reminds me-- You haven't been told how to reach Mike. How, Mike? Prof use my number?"

Between them, they settled on MYSTERIOUS. Prof and Mike shared childlike joy in intrigue for own sake. I suspect Prof enjoyed being rebel long before he worked out his political philosophy, while Mike--how could human freedom matter to him? Revolution was a game--a game that gave him companionship and chance to show off talents. Mike was as conceited a machine as you are ever likely to meet.

"But we still need this room," Prof said, reached into pouch, hauled out thick wad of bills.

I blinked. "Prof, robbed a bank?"

"Not recently. Perhaps again in the future of the Cause requires it. A rental period of one lunar should do as a starter. Will you arrange it, Manuel? The management might be surprised to hear my voice; I came in through a delivery door."

I called manager, bargained for dated key, four weeks. He asked nine hundred Hong Kong. I offered nine hundred Authority. He wanted to know how many would use room? I asked if was policy of Raffles to snoop affairs of guests?

We settled at HK$475; I sent up bills, he sent down two dated keys. I gave one to Wyoh, one to Prof, kept one-day key, knowing they would not reset lock unless we failed to pay at end of lunar.

(Earthside I ran into insolent practice of requiring hotel guest to sign chop--even show identification!)

I asked, "What next? Food?"

"I'm not hungry, Mannie."

"Manuel, you asked us to wait while Mike settled your questions. Let's get back to the basic problem: how we are to cope when we find ourselves facing Terra, David facing Goliath."

"Oh. Been hoping that would go away. Mike? You really have ideas?"

"I said I did, Man," he answered plaintively. "We can throw rocks."

"Bog's sake! No time for jokes."

"But, Man," he protested, "we can throw rocks at Terra. We will."