The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

18

Was not told till later that I had received an assist in that interview; lead about "police" and "armed forces" had been fed by a stooge; Stu LaJoie took no chances. But by time I knew, I had had experience in handling interviews; we had them endlessly.

Despite being tired was not through that night. In addition to press some Agra diplomatic corps had risked showing up-- few and none officially, even from Chad. But we were curiosities and they wanted to look at us.

Only one was important, a Chinee. Was startled to see him; he was Chinee member of committee. I met him, simply as "Dr. Chan" and we pretended to be meeting first time.

He was that Dr. Chan who was then Senator from Great China and also Great China's long-time number-one boy in Lunar Authority--and, much later, Vice-Chairman and Premier, shortly before his assassin.

After getting out point I was supposed to make, with bonus through others that could have waited, I guided chair to bedroom and was at once summoned to Prof's. "Manuel, I'm sure you noticed our distinguished visitor from the Middle Kingdom."

"Old Chinee from committee?"

"Try to curb the Loonie talk, son. Please don't use it at all here, even with me. Yes. He wants to know what we meant by 'tenfold or a hundredfold.' So tell him."

"Straight? Or swindle?"

"The straight. This man is no fool. Can you handle the technical details?"

"Done my homework. Unless he's expert in ballistics."

"He's not. But don't pretend to know anything you don't know. And don't assume that he's friendly. But he could be enormously helpful if he concludes that our interests and his coincide. But don't try to persuade him. He's in my study. Good luck. And remember--speak standard English."

Dr. Chan stood up as I came in; I apologized for not standing. He said that he understood difficulties that a gentleman from Luna labored under here and for me not to exert myself--shook hands with himself and sat down.

I'll skip some formalities. Did we or did we not have some specific solution when we claimed there was a cheap way to ship massive tonnage to Luna?

Told him was a method, expensive in investment but cheap in running expenses. "It's the one we use on Luna, sir. A catapult, an escape-speed induction catapult."

His expression changed not at all. "Colonel, are you aware that such has been proposed many times and always rejected for what seemed good reasons? Something to do with air pressure."

"Yes, Doctor. But we believe, based on extensive analyses by computer and on our experience with catapulting, that today the problem can be solved. Two of our larger firms, the LuNoHo Company and the Bank of Hong Kong in Luna, are ready to head a syndicate to do it as a private venture. They would need help here on Earth and might share voting stock--though they would prefer to sell bonds and retain control. Primarily what they need is a concession from some government, a permanent easement on which to build the catapult. Probably India."

(Above was set speech. LuNoHoCo was bankrupt if anybody examined books, and Hong Kong Bank was strained; was acting as central bank for country undergoing upheaval. Purpose was to get in last word, "India." Prof had coached me that this word must come last.)

Dr. Chan answered, "Never mind financial aspects. Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds. Why do you select India?"

"Well, sir, India now consumes, I believe, over ninety per cent of our grain shipments--"

"Ninety-three point one percent."

"Yes, sir. India is deeply interested in our grain so it seemed likely that she would cooperate. She could grant us land, make labor and materials available, and so forth. But I mentioned India because she holds a wide choice of possible sites, very high mountains not too far from Terra's equator. The latter is not essential, just helpful. But the site must be a high mountain. It's that air pressure you spoke of, or air density. The catapult head should be at as high altitude as feasible but the ejection end, where the load travels over eleven kilometers per second, must be in air so thin that it approaches vacuum. Which calls for a very high mountain. Take the peak Nanda Devi, around four hundred kilometers from here. It has a railhead sixty kilometers from it and a road almost to its base. It is eight thousand meters high. I don't know that Nanda Devi is ideal. It is simply a possible site with good logistics; the ideal site would have to be selected by Terran engineers."

"A higher mountain would be better?"

"Oh, yes, sir!" I assured him. "A higher mountain would be preferred over one nearer the equator. The catapult can be designed to make up for loss in free ride from Earth's rotation. The difficult thing is to avoid so far as possible this pesky thick atmosphere. Excuse me, Doctor; I did not mean to criticize your planet."

"There are higher mountains. Colonel, tell me about this proposed catapult."

I started to. "The length of an escape-speed catapult is determined by the acceleration. We think--or the computer calculates--that an acceleration of twenty gravities is about optimum. For Earth's escape speed this requires a catapult three hundred twenty-three kilometers in length. Therefore---"

"Stop, please! Colonel, are you seriously proposing to bore a hole over three hundred kilometers deep?"

"Oh, no! Construction has to be above ground to permit shock waves to expand. The stator would stretch nearly horizontally, rising perhaps four kilometers in three hundred and in a straight line--almost straight, as Coriolis acceleration and other minor variables make it a gentle curve. The Lunar catapult is straight so far as the eye can see and so nearly horizontal that the barges just miss some peaks beyond it."

"Oh. I thought that you were overestimating the capacity of present-day engineering. We drill deeply today. Not that deeply. Go on."

"Doctor, it may be that common misconception which caused you to check me is why such a catapult has not been constructed before this. I've seen those earlier studies. Most assumed that a catapult would be vertical, or that it would have to tilt up at the end to toss the spacecraft into the sky--and neither is feasible nor necessary. I suppose the asswnption arose from the fact that your spaceships do boost straight up, or nearly."

I went on: "But they do that to get above atmosphere, not to get into orbit. Escape speed is not a vector quantity; it is scalar. A load bursting from a catapult at escape speed will not return to Earth no matter what its direction. Uh... two corrections: it must not be headed toward the Earth itself but at some part of the sky hemisphere, and it must have enough added velocity to punch through whatever atmosphere it still traverses. If it is headed in the right direction it will wind up at Luna."

"Ah, yes. Then this catapult could be used but once each lunar month?"

"No, sir. On the basis on which you were thinking it would be once every day, picking the time to fit where Luna will be in her orbit. But in fact--or so the computer says; I'm not an astronautics expert--in fact this catapult could be used almost any time, simply by varying ejection speed, and the orbits could still wind up at Luna."

"I don't visualize that."

"Neither do I, Doctor, but-- Excuse me but isn't there an exceptionally fine computer at Peiping University?"

"And if there is?" (Did I detect an increase in bland inscrutability? A Cyborg-computer-- Pickled brains? Or live ones, aware? Horrible, either way.)

"Why not ask a topnotch computer for all possible ejection times for such a catapult as I have described? Some orbits go far outside Luna's orbit before returning to where they can be captured by Luna, taking a fantastically long time. Others hook around Terra and then go quite directly. Some are as simple as the ones we use from Luna. There are periods each day when short orbits may be selected. But a load is in the catapult less than one minute; the limitation is how fast the beds can be made ready. It is even possible to have more than one load going up the catapult at a time if the power is sufficient and computer control is versatile. The only thing that worries me is-- These high mountains they are covered with snow?"

"Usually," he answered. "Ice and snow and bare rock."

"Well, sir, being born in Luna I don t know anything about snow. The stator would not only have to be rigid under the heavy gravity of this planet but would have to withstand dynamic thrusts at twenty gravities. I don t suppose it could be anchored to ice or snow. Or could it be?"

"I'm not an engineer, Colonel, but it seems unlikely. Snow and ice would have to be removed. And kept clear. Weather would be a problem, too."

"Weather I know nothing about, Doctor, and all I know about ice is that it has a heat of crystallization of three hundred thirty-five million joules per tonne. I have no idea how many tonnes would have to be melted to clear the site, or how much energy would be required to keep it clear, but it seems to me that it might take as large a reactor to keep it free of ice as to power the catapult."

"We can build reactors, we can melt ice. Or engineers can be sent north for re-education until they do understand ice." Dr. Chan smiled and I shivered. "However, the engineering of ice and snow was solved in Antarctica years ago; don't worry about it. A clear, solid-rock site about three hundred fifty kilometers long at a high altitude-- Anything else I should know?"

"Not much, sir. Melted ice could be collected near the catapult head and thus be the most massy part of what will be shipped to Luna--quite a saving. Also the steel canisters would be re-used to ship grain to Earth, thus stopping another drain that Luna can't take. No reason why a canister should not make the trip hundreds of times. At Luna it would be much the way barges are now landed off Bombay, solid-charge retrorockets programmed by ground control--except that it would be much cheaper, two and a half kilometer-seconds change of motion versus eleven-plus, a squared factor of about twenty--but actually even more favorable, as retros are parasitic weight and the payload improves accordingly. There is even a way to improve that."

"How?"

"Doctor, this is outside my specialty. But everybody knows that your best ships use hydrogen as reaction mass heated by a fusion reactor. But hydrogen is expensive in Luna and any mass could be reaction mass; it just would not be as efficient. Can you visualize an enormous, brute-force space tug designed to fit Lunar conditions? It would use raw rock, vaporized, as reaction mass and would be designed to go up into parking orbit, pick up those shipments from Terra, bring them down to Luna's surface. It would be ugly, all the fancies stripped away--might not be manned even by a Cyborg. It can be piloted from the ground, by computer."

"Yes, I suppose such a ship could be designed. But let's not complicate things. Have you covered the essentials about this catapult?"

"I believe so, Doctor. The site is the crucial thing. Take that peak Nanda Devi. By the maps I have seen it appears to have a long, very high ridge sloping to the west for about the length of our catapult. If that is true, it would be ideal--less to cut away, less to bridge. I don't mean that it is the ideal site but that is the sort to look for: a very high peak with a long, long ridge west of it."

"I understand." Dr. Chan left abruptly.

Next few weeks I repeated that in a dozen countries, always in private and with implication that it was secret. All that changed was name of mountain. In Ecuador I pointed out that Chimborazo was almost on equator--ideal! But in Argentina I emphasized that their Aconcagua was highest peak in Western Hemisphere. In Bolivia I noted that Altoplano was as high as Tibetan Plateau (almost true), much nearer equator, and offered a wide choice of sites for easy construction leading up to peaks comparable to any on Terra.

I talked to a North American who was a political opponent of that choom who had called us "rabble." I pointed out that, while Mount McKinley was comparable to anything in Asia or South America, there was much to be said for Mauna Loa--extreme ease of construction. Doubling gees to make it short enough to fit, and Hawaii would be Spaceport of World... whole world, for we talked about day when Mars would be exploited and freight for three (possibly four) planets would channel through their "Big Island."

Never mentioned Mauna Loa's volcanic nature; instead I noted that location permitted an aborted load to splash harmlessly in Pacific Ocean.

In Sovunion was only one peak discussed--Lenin, over thousand meters (and rather too close to their big neighbor).

Kilimanjaro, Popocatepetl, Logan, El Libertado--my favorite peak changed by country; all that we required was that it be "highest mountain" in hearts of locals. I found something to say about modest mountains of Chad when we were entertained there and rationalized so well I almost believed it.

Other times, with help of leading questions from Stu LaJoie's stooges, I talked about chemical engineering (of which I know nothing but had memorized facts) on surface of Luna, where endless free vacuum and sunpower and limitless raw materials and predictable conditions permitted ways of processing expensive or impossible Earthside--when day arrived that cheap shipping both ways made it profitable to exploit Luna's virgin resources, Was always a suggestion that entrenched bureaucracy of Lunar Authority had failed to see great potential of Luna (true), plus answer to a question always asked, which answer asserted that Luna could accept any number of colonists.

This also was true, although never mentioned that Luna (yes, and sometimes Luna's Loonies) killed about half of new chums. But people we talked to rarely thought of emigrating themselves; they thought of forcing or persuading others to emigrate to relieve crowding--and to reduce their own taxes. Kept mouth shut about fact that half-fed swarms we saw everywhere did breed faster than even catapulting could offset.

We could not house, feed, and train even a million new chums each year--and a million wasn't a drop on Terra; more babies than that were conceived every night. We could accept far more than would emigrate voluntarily but if they used forced emigration and flooded us... Luna has only one way to deal with a new chum: Either he makes not one fatal mistake, in personal behavior or in coping with environment that will bite without warning... or he winds up as fertilizer in tunnel farm.

All that immigration in huge numbers could mean would be that a larger percentage of immigrants would die--too few of us to help them past natural hazards.

However, Prof did most talking about "Luna's great future." I talked about catapults.

During weeks we waited for committee to recall us, we covered much ground. Stu's men had things set up and only question was how much we could take. Would guess that every week on Terra chopped a year off our lives, maybe more for Prof. But he never complained and was always ready to be charming at one more reception.

We spent extra time in North America. Date of our Declaration of Independence, exactly three hundred years after that of North American British colonies, turned out to be wizard propaganda and Stu's manipulators made most of it. North Americans are sentimental about their "United States" even though it ceased to mean anything once their continent had been rationalized by F.N. They elect a president every eight years, why, could not say--why do British still have Queen?--and boast of being "sovereign." "Sovereign," like "love," means anything you want it to mean; it's a word in dictionary between "sober" and "sozzled."

"Sovereignty" meant much in North America and "Fourth of July" was a magic date; Fourth-of-July League handled our appearances and Stu told us that it had not cost much to get it moving and nothing to keep going; League even raised money used elsewhere--North Americans enjoy giving no matter who gets it.

Farther south Stu used another date; his people planted idea that coup d'etat had been 5 May instead of two weeks later. We were greeted with "Cinco de Mayo! Libertad! Cinco de Mayo!" I thought they were saying, "Thank you"-- Prof did all talking.

But in 4th-of-July country I did better. Stu had me quit wearing a left arm in public, sleeves of my costumes were sewed up so that stump could not be missed, and word was passed that I had lost it "fighting for freedom." Whenever I was asked about it, all I did was smile and say, "See what comes of biting nails?"--then change subject.

I never liked North America, even first trip. It is not most crowded part of Terra, has a mere billion people. In Bombay they sprawl on pavements; in Great New York they pack them vertically--not sure anyone sleeps. Was glad to be in invalid's chair.

Is mixed-up place another way; they care about skin color--by making point of how they don't care. First trip I was always too light or too dark, and somehow blamed either way, or was always being expected to take stand on things I have no opinions on. Bog knows I don't know what genes I have. One grandmother came from a part of Asia where invaders passed as regularly as locusts, raping as they went--why not ask her?

Learned to handle it by my second makee-learnee but it left a sour taste. Think I prefer a place as openly racist as India, where if you aren't Hindu, you're nobody--except that Parsees look down on Hindus and vice versa. However I never really had to cope with North America's reverse-racism when being "Colonel O'Kelly Davis, Hero of Lunar Freedom."

We had swarms of bleeding hearts around us, anxious to help. I let them do two things for me, things I had never had time, money, or energy for as a student: I saw Yankees play and i visited Salem.

Should have kept my illusions. Baseball is better over video, you can really see it and aren't pushed in by two hundred thousand other people. Besides, somebody should have shot that outfield. I spent most of that game dreading moment when they would have to get my chair out through crowd--that and assuring host that I was having a wonderful time.

Salem was just a place, no worse (and no better) than rest of Boston. After seeing it I suspected they had hanged wrong witches. But day wasn't wasted; I was filmed laying a wreath on a place where a bridge had been in another part of Boston, Concord, and made a memorized speech--bridge is still there, actually; you can see it, down through glass. Not much of a bridge.

Prof enjoyed it all, rough as it was on him: Prof had great capacity for enjoying. He always had something new to tell about great future of Luna. In New York he gave managing director of a hotel chain, one with rabbit trade mark, a sketch of what could be done with resorts in Luna--once excursion rates were within reach of more people--visits too short to hurt anyone, escort service included, exotic side trips, gambling--no taxes.

Last point grabbed attention, so Prof expanded it into "longer old age" theme--a chain of retirement hostels where an earthworm could live on Terran old-age pension and go on living, twenty, thirty, forty years longer than on Terra. As an exile--but which was better? A live old age in Luna? Or a funeral crypt on Terra? His descendants could pay visits and fill those resort hotels. Prof embellished with pictures of "nightclubs" with acts impossible in Terra's horrible gravity, sports to fit our decent level of gravitation--even talked about swimming pools and ice skating and possibility of flying! (Thought he had tripped his safeties.) He finished by hinting that Swiss cartel had tied it up.

Next day he was telling foreign-divisions manager of Chase International Panagra that a Luna City branch should be staffed with paraplegics, paralytics, heart cases, amputees, others who found high gravity a handicap. Manager was a fat man who wheezed, he may have been thinking of it personally--but his ears pricked up at "no taxes."

We didn't have it all our own way. News was often against us and were always hecklers. Whenever I had to take them on without Prof's help I was likely to get tripped. One man tackled me on Prof's statement to committee that we "owned" grain grown in Luna: he seemed to take it for granted that we did not. Told him I did not understand question.

He answered, "Isn't it true, Colonel, that your provisional government has asked for membership in Federated Nations?"

Should have answered, "No comment." But fell for it and agreed. "Very well," he said, "the impediment seems to be the counterclaim that the Moon belongs to the Federated Nations--as it always has---under supervision of the Lunar Authority. Either way, by your own admission, that grain belongs to the Federated Nations, in trust."

I asked how he reached that conclusion? He answered, 'Colonel, you style yourself 'Undersecretary of Foreign Affairs.' Surely you are familiar with the charter of the Federated Nations."

I had skimmed it. "Reasonably familiar," I said-- cautiously, I thought.

"Then you know the First Freedom guaranteed by the Charter and its current application through F & A Control Board Administrative Order Number eleven-seventy-six dated three March of this year. You concede therefore that all grain grown on the Moon in excess of the local ration is ab initio and beyond contest the property of all, title held in trust by the Federated Nations through its agencies for distribution as needed." He was writing as he talked. "Have you anything to add to that concession?"

I said, "What in Bog's name you talking about?" Then, "Come back! Haven't conceded anything!"

So Great New York Times printed:

LUNAR "UNDERSECRETARY" SAYS:

"FOOD BELONGS TO HUNGRY"

New York Today--O'Kelly Davis, soi-disant "Colonel of the Armed Forces of Free Luna" here on a junket to stir up support for the insurgents in the F.N. Lunar colonies, said in a voluntary statement to this paper that the "Freedom from Hunger" clause in the Grand Charter applied to the Lunar grain shipments--

I asked Prof how should have handled? "Always answer an unfriendly question with another question," he told me. "Never ask him to clarify; he'll put words in your mouth. This reporter-- Was he skinny? Ribs showing?"

"No. Heavyset."

"Not living on eighteen hundred calories a day, I take it, which is the subject of that order he cited. Had you known you could have asked him how long he had conformed to the ration and why he quit? Or asked him what he had for breakfast--and then looked unbelieving no matter what he answered. Or when you don't know what a man is getting at, let your counter-question shift the subject to something you do want to talk about. Then, no matter what he answers, make your point and call on someone else. Logic does not enter into it--just tactics."

"Prof, nobody here is living on eighteen hundred calories a day. Bombay, maybe. Not here."

"Less than that in Bombay. Manuel, that 'equal ration' is a fiction. Half the food on this planet is in the black market, or is not reckoned through one ruling or another. Or they keep two sets of books, and figures submitted to the F.N. having nothing to do with the economy. Do you think that grain from Thailand and Burma and Australia is correctly reported to the Control Board by Great China? I'm sure that the India representative on that food board doesn't. But India keeps quiet because she gets the lion's share from Luna... and then 'plays politics with hunger'--a phrase you may remember--by using our grain to control her elections. Kerala had a planned famine last year. Did you see it in the news?"

"No."

"Because it wasn't in the news. A managed democracy is a wonderful thing, Manuel, for the managers....nd its greatest strength is a 'free press' when 'free' is defined as 'responsible' and the managers define what is 'irresponsible.' Do you know what Luna needs most?"

"More ice."

"A news system that does not bottleneck through one channel. Our friend Mike is our greatest danger."

"Huh? Don't you trust Mike?"

"Manuel, on some subjects I don't trust even myself. Limiting the freedom of news 'just a little bit' is in the same category with the classic example 'a little bit pregnant.' We are not yet free nor will we be as long as anyone--even our ally Mike--controls our news. Someday I hope to own a newspaper independent of any source or channel. I would happily set print by hand, like Benjamin Franklin."

I gave up. "Prof, suppose these talks fail and grain shipments stop. What happens?"

"People back home will be vexed with us... and many here on Terra would die. Have you read Malthus?"

"Don't think so."

"Many would die. Then a new stability would be reached with somewhat more people--more efficient people and better fed. This planet isn't crowded; it is just mismanaged... and the unkindest thing you can do for a hungry man is to give him food. 'Give.' Read Malthus. It is never safe to laugh at Dr. Malthus; he always has the last laugh. A depressing man, I'm glad he's dead. But don't read him until this is over; too many facts hamper a diplomat, especially an honest one."

"I'm not especially honest."

"But you have no talent for dishonesty, so your refuge must be ignorance and stubbornness. You have the latter; try to preserve the former. For the nonce. Lad, Uncle Bernardo is terribly tired."

I said, "Sorry," and wheeled out of his room. Prof was hitting too hard a pace. I would have been willing to quit if would insure his getting into a ship and out of that gravity. But traffic stayed one way--grain barges, naught else.

But Prof had fun. As I left and waved lights out, noticed again a toy he had bought, one that delighted him like a kid on Christmas--a brass cannon.

A real one from sailing ship days. Was small, barrel about half a meter long and massing, with wooden carriage, only kilos fifteen. A "signal gun" its papers said. Reeked of ancient history, pirates, men "walking plank." A pretty thing but I asked Prof why? If we ever managed to leave, price to lift that mass to Luna would hurt--I was resigned to abandoning a p-suit with years more wear in it--abandon everything but two left arms and a pair of shorts, If pressed, might give up social arm. If very pressed, would skip shorts.

He reached out and stroked shiny barrel. "Manuel, once there was a man who held a political make-work job like so many here in this Directorate, shining brass cannon around a courthouse."

"Why would courthouse have cannon?"

"Never mind. He did this for years. It fed him and let him save a bit, but he was not getting ahead in the world. So one day he quit his job, drew out his savings, bought a brass cannon--and went into business for himself."

"Sounds like idiot."

"No doubt. And so were we, when we tossed out the Warden. Manuel, you'll outlive me. When Luna adopts a flag, I would like it to be a cannon or, on field sable, crossed by bar sinister gules of our proudly ignoble lineage. Do you think it could be managed?"

"Suppose so, if you'll sketch. But why a flag? Not a flagpole in all Luna."

"It can fly in our hearts... a symbol for all fools so ridiculously impractical as to think they can fight city hail. Will you remember, Manuel?"

"Sure. That is, will remind you when time comes." Didn't like such talk. He had started using oxygen tent in private--and would not use in public.

Guess I'm "ignorant" and "stubborn"--was both in place called Lexington, Kentucky, in Central Managerial Area. One thing no doctrine about, no memorized answers, was life in Luna. Prof said to tell truth and emphasize homely, warm, friendly things, especially anything different. "Remember, Manuel, the thousands of Terrans who have made short visits to Luna are only a tiny fraction of one percent. To most people we will be as weirdly interesting as strange animals in a zoo. Do you remember that turtle on exhibition in Old Dome? That's us."

Certainly did; they wore that insect out, staring at. So when this male-female team started quizzing about family life in Luna was happy to answer. I prettied it only by what I left out--things that aren't family life but poor substitutes in a community overloaded with males, Luna City is homes and families mainly, dull by Terra standards--but I like it. And other warrens much same, people who work and raise kids and gossip and find most of their fun around dinner table. Not much to tell, so I diseussed anything they found interesting. Every Luna custom comes from Terra since that's where we all came from, but Terra is such a big place that a custom from Micronesia, say, may be strange in North America.

This woman--can't call her lady--wanted to know about various sorts of marriage. First, was it true that one could get married without a license "on" Luna?

I asked what a marriage license was?

Her companion said, "Skip it, Mildred. Pioneer societies never have marriage licenses."

"But don't you keep records?" she persisted.

"Certainly," I agreed. "My family keeps a family book that goes back almost to first landing at Johnson City--every marriage, birth, death, every event of importance not only in direct line but all branches so far as we can keep track. And besides, is a man, a schoolteacher, going around copying old family records all over our warren, writing a history of Luna City. Hobby."

"But don't you have official records? Here in Kaintucky we have records that go back hundreds of years."

"Madam, we haven't lived there that long."

"Yes, but-- Well, Luna City must have a city clerk. Perhaps you call him 'county recorder.' The official who keeps track of such things. Deeds and so forth."

I said. "Don't think so, madam. Some bookies do notary work, witnessing chops on contracts, keeping records of them. Is for people who don't read and write and can't keep own records. But never heard of one asked to keep record of marriage. Not saying couldn't happen. But haven't heard."

"How delightfully informal! Then this other rumor, about how simple it is to get a divorce on the Moon. I daresay that's true, too?"

"No, madam, wouldn't say divorce is simple. Too much to untangle. Mmm... take a simple example, one lady and say she has two husbands--"

"Two?"

"Might have more, might have just one. Or might be complex marriage. But let's take one lady and two men as typical. She decides to divorce one. Say it's friendly, with other husband agreeing and one she is getting rid of not making fuss. Not that it would do him any good. Okay, she divorces him; he leaves. Still leaves endless things. Men might be business partners, co-husbands often are. Divorce may break up partnership. Money matters to settle. This three may own cubic together, and while will be in her name, ex-husband probably has cash coming or rent. And almost always are children to consider, support and so forth. Many things. No, madam, divorce is never simple. Can divorce him in ten seconds but may take ten years to straighten out loose ends. Isn't it much that way here?"

"Uh... just fuhget ah evah asked the question, Cunn'l; it may be simpluh hyuh." (She did talk that way but was understandable once I got program. Won't spell it again.) "But if that is a simple marriage, what is a 'complex' one?"

Found self explaining polyandries, clans, groups, lines, and less common patterns considered vulgar by conservative people such as my own family--deal my mother set up, say, after she ticked off my old man, though didn't describe that one; Mother was always too extreme.

Woman said, "You have me confused. What is the difference between a line and a clan?"

Are quite different. Take own case. I have honor to be member of one of oldest line marriages in Luna--and, in my prejudiced opinion, best. You asked about divorce. Our family has never had one and would bet long odds never will. A line marriage increases in stability year after year, gains practice in art of getting along together, until notion of anybody leaving is unthinkable. Besides, takes unanimous decision of all wives to divorce a husband--could never happen. Senior wife would never let it get that far."

Went on describing advantages--financial security, fine home life it gives children, fact that death of a spouse, while tragic, could never be tragedy it was in a temporary family, especially for children--children simply could not be orphaned. Suppose I waxed too enthusiastic--but my family is most important thing in my life. Without them I'm just one-armed mechanic who could be eliminated without causing a draft.

"Here's why is stable," I said. "Take my youngest wife, sixteen. Likely be in her eighties before is senior wife. Doesn't mean all wives senior to her will die by then; unlikely in Luna, females seem to be immortal. But may all opt out of family management by then; by our family traditions they usually do, without younger wives putting pressure on them. So Ludmilla--"

"Ludmilla?"

"Russki name. From fairy tale. Milla will have over fifty years of good example before has to carry burden. She's sensible to start with, not likely to make mistakes and if did, has other wives to steady her. Self-correcting, like a machine with proper negative feedback. A good line marriage is immortal; expect mine to outlast me at least a thousand years--and is why shan't mind dying when time comes; best part of me will go on living."

Prof was being wheeled out; he had them stop stretcher cart and listened. I turned to him. "Professor," I said, "you know my family. Would mind telling this lady why it's a happy family? If you think so."

"It is," agreed Prof. "However, I would rather make a more general remark. Dear madam, I gather that you find our Lunar marriage customs somewhat exotic."

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far!" she said hastily. "Just somewhat unusual."

"They arise, as marriage customs always do, from economic necessities of the circumstances--and our circumstances are very different from those here on Earth. Take the line type of marriage which my colleague has been praising...nd justifiably, I assure you, despite his personal bias--I am a bachelor and have no bias. Line marriage is the strongest possible device for conserving capital and insuring the welfare of children--the two basic societal functions for marriage everywhere--in an enviroment in which there is no security, neither for capital nor for children, other than that devised by individuals. Somehow human beings always cope with their environments. Line marriage is a remarkably successful invention to that end. All other Lunar forms of marriage serve that same purpose, though not as well."

He said goodnight and left. I had with me--always!--a picture of my family, newest one, our wedding with Wyoming. Brides are at their prettiest and Wyoh was radiant--and rest of us looked handsome and happy, with Grandpaw tall and proud and not showing failing faculties.

But was disappointed; they looked at it oddly. But man --Mathews, name was--said, "Can you spare this picture, Colonel?"

Winced. "Only copy I have. And a long way from home."

"For a moment, I mean. Let me have it photographed. Right here, it need never leave your hands,"

"Oh. Oh, certainly!" Not a good picture of me but is face I have, and did Wyoh justice and they just don't come prettier than Lenore.

So he photographed it and next morning they did come right into our hotel suite and woke me before time and did arrest and take me away wheel chair and all and did lock me in a cell with bars! For bigamy. For polygamy. For open immorality and publicly inciting others to same.

Was glad Mum couldn't see.