The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

17

Neither of us was hurt and it made juicy news breaks, for I put recording in Stu's hands and he turned it over to his hired men. Nor were all headlines against us; Stu had recording cut and edited and slanted. AUTHORITY TO PLAY ODD MAN OUT?--LUNAR AMBASSADOR COLLAPSES UNDER GRILLING: "OUTCASTS!" HE CRIES--PROF PAZ POINTS FINGER OF SHAME: STORY PAGE 8.

Not all were good; nearest to a favorable story in India was editorial in New India Times inquiring whether Authority was risking bread of masses in failing to come to terms with Lunar insurgents. Was suggested that concessions could be made if would insure increased grain deliveries. Was filled with inflated statistics; Luna did not feed "a hundred million Hindus"-- unless you chose to think of our grain as making difference between malnutrition and starvation.

On other hand biggest New York paper opined that Authority had made mistake in treating with us at all, since only thing convicts understood was taste of lash--troops should land, set us in order, hang guilty, leave forces to keep order.

Was a quick mutiny, quickly subdued, in Peace Dragoons regiment from which our late oppressors had come, one started by rumor that they were to be shipped to Moon. Mutiny not hushed up perfectly; Stu hired good men.

Next morning a message reached us inquiring if Professor de la Paz was well enough to resume discussions? We went, and committee supplied doctor and nurse to watch over Prof. But this time we were searched--and a recorder removed from my pouch.

I surrendered it without much fuss; was Japanese job supplied by Stu--to be surrendered. Number-six arm has recess intended for a power pack but near enough size of my mini-recorder. Didn't need power that day--and most people, even hardened police officers, dislike to touch a prosthetic.

Everything discussed day before was ignored... except that chairman started session by scolding us for "breaking security of a closed meeting."

Prof replied that it had not been closed so far as we were concerned and that we would welcome newsmen, video cameras, a gallery, anyone, as Luna Free State had nothing to hide.

Chairman replied stiffly that so-called Free State did not control these hearings; these sessions were closed, not to be discussed outside this room, and that it was so ordered.

Prof looked at me. "Will you help me, Colonel?" I touched controls of chair, scooted around, was shoving his stretcher wagon with my chair toward door before chairman realized bluff had been called. Prof allowed himself to be persuaded to stay without promising anything. Hard to coerce a man who faints if he gets overexcited.

Chairman said that there had been many irrelevancies yesterday and matters discussed best left undiscussed--and that he would permit no digressions today. He looked at Argentino, then at North American.

He went on: "Sovereignty is an abstract concept, one that has been redefined many times as mankind has learned to live in peace. We need not discuss it. The real question, Professor--or even Ambassador de-facto, if you like; we shan't quibble--the real question is this: Are you prepared to guarantee that the Lunar Colonies will keep their commitments?"

"What commitments, sir?"

"All commitments, but I have in mind specifically your commitments concerning grain shipments."

"I know of no such commitments, sir," Prof answered with innocence.

Chairman's hand tightened on gavel. But he answered quietly, "Come, sir, there is no need to spar over words. I refer to the quota of grain shipments--and to the increased quota, a matter of thirteen percent, for this new fiscal year. Do we have assurance that you will honor those commitments? This is a minimum basis for discussion, else these talks can go no further."

"Then I am sorry to say, sir, that it would appear that our talks must cease."

"You're not being serious."

"Quite serious, sir. The sovereignty of Free Luna is not the abstract matter you seem to feel it is. These commitments you speak of were the Authority contracting with itself. My country is not bound by such. Any commitments from the sovereign nation I have the honor to represent are still to be negotiated."

"Rabble!" growled North American. "I told you you were being too soft on them. Jailbirds. Thieves and whores. They don't understand decent treatment."

"Order!"

"Just remember, I told you. If I had them in Colorado, we would teach them a thing or two; we know how to handle their sort."

"The gentleman member will please be in order."

"I'm afraid," said Hindu member--Parsee in fact, but committeeman from India--"I'm afraid I must agree in essence with the gentleman member from the North American Directorate. India cannot accept the concept that the grain commitments are mere scraps of paper. Decent people do not play politics with hunger."

"And besides," the Argentino put in, "they breed like animals. Pigs!"

(Prof made me take a tranquilizing drug before that session. Had insisted on seeing me take it.)

Prof said quietly, "Honorable Chairman, may I have consent to amplify my meaning before we conclude, perhaps too hastily, that these talks must be abandoned?"

"Proceed."

"Unanimous consent? Free of interruption?"

Chairman looked around. "Consent is unanimous," he stated, "and the gentlemen members are placed on notice that I will invoke special rule fourteen at the next outburst. The sergeant-at-arms is directed to note this and act. The witness will proceed."

"I will be brief, Honorable Chairman." Prof said something in Spanish; all I caught was "Señor." Argentina turned dark but did not answer. Prof went on, "I must first answer the gentleman member from North America on a matter of personal privilege since he has impugned my fellow countrymen. I for one have seen the inside of more than one jail; I accept the title--nay, I glory in the title of 'jailbird.' We citizens of Luna are jailbirds and descendants of jailbirds. But Luna herself is a stern schoolmistress; those who have lived through her harsh lessons have no cause to feel ashamed. In Luna City a man may leave purse unguarded or home unlocked and feel no fear... I wonder if this is true in Denver? As may be, I have no wish to visit Colorado to learn a thing or two; I am satisfied with what Mother Luna has taught me. And rabble we may be, but we are now a rabble in arms.

"To the gentleman member from India let me say that we do not 'play politics with hunger.' What we ask is an open discussion of facts of nature unbound by political assumptions false to fact. If we can hold this discussion, I can promise to show a way in which Luna can continue grain shipments and expand them enormously... to the great benefit of India."

Both Chinee and Indian looked alert. Indian started to speak, checked himself, then said, "Honorable Chairman, will the Chair ask the witness to explain what he means?"

"The witness is invited to amplify."

"Honorable Chairman, gentlemen members, there is indeed a way for Luna to expand by tenfold or even a hundred her shipments to our hungry millions. The fact that grain barges continued to arrive on schedule during our time of trouble and are still arriving today is proof that our intentions are friendly. But you do not get milk by beating the cow. Discussions of how to augment our shipments must be based on the facts of nature, not on the false assumption that we are slaves, bound by a work quota we never made. So which shall it be? Will you persist in believing that we are slaves, indentured to an Authority other than ourselves? Or will you acknowledge that we are free, negotiate with us, and learn how we can help you?"

Chairman said, "In other words you ask us to buy a pig in a poke. You demand that we legalize your outlaw status... then you will talk about fantastic claims that you can increase grain shipments ten- or a hundredfold. What you claim is impossible; I am expert in Lunar economics. And what you ask is impossible; takes the Grand Assembly to admit a new nation."

Then place it before the Grand Assembly. Once seated as sovreign equals, we will discuss how to increase shipments and negotiate terms. Honorable Chairman, we grow the grain, we own it. We can grow far more. But not as slaves. Luna's soverign freedom must first be recognized."

"Impossible and you know it. The Lunar Authority cannot abdicate its sacred responsibility."

Prof sighed. "It appears to be an impasse. I can only suggest that these hearings be recessed while we all take thought. Today our barges are arriving... but the moment that I am forced to notify my government that I have failed... they... will... stop!"

Prof's head sank back on pillow as if it had been too much for him--as may have been. I was doing well enough but was young and had had practice in how to visit Terra and stay alive. A Loonie his age should not risk it. After minor foofooraw which Prof ignored they loaded us into a lorry and scooted us back to hotel. Once under way I said, "Prof, what was it you said to Señor Jellybelly that raised blood pressure?"

He chuckled. "Comrade Stuart's investigations of these gentlemen turn up remarkable facts. I asked who owned a certain brothel off Calle Florida in B.A. these days and did it now have a star redhead?"

"Why? You used to patronize it?" Tried to imagine Prof in such!

"Never. It has been forty years since I was last in Buenos Aires. He owns that establishment, Manuel, through a dummy, and his wife, a beauty with Titian hair, once worked in it."

Was sorry had asked. "Wasn't that a foul blow? And undiplomatic?"

But Prof closed eyes and did not answer.

He was recovered enough to spend an hour at a reception for newsmen that night, with white hair framed against a purple pillow and thin body decked out in embroidered pajamas. Looked like vip corpse at an important funeral, except for eyes and dimples. I looked mighty vip too, in black and gold uniform which Stu claimed was Lunar diplomatic uniform of my rank. Could have been, if Lana had had such things--did not or I would have known. I prefer a p-suit; collar was tight. Nor did I ever find out what decorations on it meant. ~A reporter asked me about one, based on Luna at crescent as seen from Terra; told him it was a prize for spelling. Stu was in earshot and said, "The Colonel is modest. That decoration is of the same rank as the Victoria Cross and in his case was awarded for an act of gallantry on the glorious, tragic day of--"

He led him away, still talking. Stu could lie standing up almost as well as Prof. Me, I have to think out a lie ahead of time.

India newspapers and casts were rough that night; "threat" to stop grain shipments made them froth. Gentlest proposal was to clean out Luna, exterminate us "criminal troglodytes" and replace us with "honest Hindu peasants" who understood sacredness of life and would ship grain and more grain.

Prof picked that night to talk and give handouts about Luna's inability to continue shipments, and why--and Stu's organization spread release throughout Terra. Some reporters took time to dig out sense of figures and tackled Prof on glaring discrepancy:

"Professor de la Paz, here you say that grain shipments will dwindle away through failure of natural resources and that by 2082 Luna won't even be able to feed its own people. Yet earlier today you told the Lunar Authority that you could increase shipments a dozen times or more."

Prof said sweetly, "That committee is the Lunar Authority?"

"Well... it's an open secret."

"So it is, sir, but they have maintained the fiction of being an impartial investigating committee of the Grand Assembly. Don't you think they should disqualify themselves? So that we could receive a fair hearing?"

"Uh... it's not my place to say, Professor. Let's get back to my question. How do you reconcile the two?"

"I'm interested in why it's not your place to say, sir. Isn't it the concern of every citizen of Terra to help avoid a situation which will produce war between Terra and her neighbor?"

"'War'? What in the world makes you speak of 'war,' Professor?"

"Where else can it end, sir? If the Lunar Authority persists in its intransigence? We cannot accede to their demands; those figures show why. If they will not see this, then they will attempt to subdue us by force... and we will fight back. Like cornered rats--for cornered we are, unable to retreat, unable to surrender. We do not choose war; we wish to live in peace with our neighbor planet--in peace and peacefully trade. But the choice is not ours. We are small, you are gigantic. I predict that the next move will be for the Lunar Authority to attempt to subdue Luna by force. This 'peace-keeping' agency will start the first interplanetary war."

Journalist frowned. "Aren't you overstating it? Let's assame the Authority--or the Grand Assembly, as the Authority hasn't any warships of its own--let's suppose the nations of Earth decide to displace your, uh, 'government.' You might fight, on Luna--I suppose you would. But that hardly constitutes interplanetary war. As you pointed out, Luna has no ships. To put it bluntly, you can't reach us."

I had chair close by Prof's stretcher, listening. He turned to me. "Tell them, Colonel."

I parroted it. Prof and Mike had worked out stock situation. I had memorized and was ready with answers. I said, "Do you gentlemen remember the Pathfinder? How she came plunging in, out of control?"

They remembered. Nobody forgets greatest disaster of early days of space flight when unlucky Pathfinder hit a Belgian village.

"We have no ships," I went on, "but would be possible to throw those bargeloads of grain....nstead of delivering them parking orbit."

Next day this evoked a headling: LOONIES THREATEN TO THROW RICE. At moment it produced awkward silence.

Finally journalist said, "Nevertheless I would like to know how you reconcile your two statements--no more grain after 2082... and ten or a hundred times as much."

"There is no conflict," Prof answered. "They are based on different sets of circumstances. The figures you have been looking at show the present circumstances... and the disaster they will produce in only a few years through drainage of Luna's natural resources--disaster which these Authority bureaucrats--or should I say 'authoritarian bureaucrats?'--would avert by telling us to stand in the corner like naughty children!"

Prof paused for labored breathing, went on: "The circumstances under which we can continue, or greatly increase, our grain shipments are the obvious corollary of the first. As an old teacher I can hardly refrain from classroom habits; the corollary should be left as an exercise for the student. Will someone attempt it?"

Was uncomfortable silence, then a little man with strange accent said slowly, "It sound to me as if you talk about way to replenish natural resource."

"Capital! Excellent!" Prof flashed dimples. "You, sir, will have a gold star on your term report! To make grain requires water and plant foods--phosphates, other things, ask the experts. Send these things to us; we'll send them back as wholesome grain. Put down a hose in the limitless Indian Ocean. Line up those millions of cattle here in India; collect their end product and ship it to us. Collect your own night soil--don't bother to sterilize it; we've learned to do such things cheaply and easily. Send us briny sea water, rotten fish, dead animals, city sewage, cow manure, offal of any sort--and we will send it back, tonne for tonne as golden grain. Send ten times as much, we'll send back ten times as much grain. Send us your poor, your dispossessed, send them by thousands and hundreds of thousands; we'll teach them swift, efficient Lunar methods of tunnel farming and ship you back unbelievable tonnage. Gentlemen, Luna is one enormous fallow farm, four thousand million hectares, waiting to be plowed!"

That startled them. Then someone said slowly, "But what do you get out of it? Luna, I mean."

Prof shrugged. "Money. In the form of trade goods. There are many things you make cheaply which are dear in Luna. Drugs. Tools. Book films. Gauds for our lovely ladies. Buy our grain and you can sell to us at a happy profit."

A Hindu journalist looked thoughtful, started to write. Next to him was a European type who seemed unimpressed. He said, "Professor, have you any idea of the cost of shipping that much tonnage to the Moon?"

Prof waved it aside. "A technicality. Sir, there was a time when it was not simply expensive to ship goods across oceans but impossible. Then it was expensive, difficult, dangerous. Today you sell goods half around your planet almost as cheaply as next door; long-distance shipping is the least important factor in cost. Gentlemen, I am not an engineer. But I have learned this about engineers. When something must be done, engineers can find a way that is economically feasible. If you want the grain that we can grow, turn your engineers loose." Prof gasped and labored, signaled for help and nurses wheeled him away.

I declined to be questioned on it, telling them that they must talk to Prof when he was well enough to see them. So they pecked at me on other lines. One man demanded to know why, since we paid no taxes, we colonists thought we had a right to run things our own way? After all, those colonies had been established by Federated Nations--by some of them. It had been terribly expensive. Earth had paid all bills--and now you colonists enjoy benefits and pay not one dime of taxes. Was that fair?

I wanted to tell him to blow it. But Prof had again made me take a tranquilizer and had required me to swot that endless list of answers to trick questions. "Lets take that one at a time," I said. "First, what is it you want us to pay taxes for? Tell me what I get and perhaps I'll buy it. No, put it this way. Do you pay taxes?"

"Certainly I do! And so should you."

"And what do you get for your taxes?"

"Huh? Taxes pay for government."

I said, "Excuse me, I'm ignorant. I've lived my whole life in Luna, I don't know much about your government. Can you feed it to me in small pieces? What do you get for your money?"

They all got interested and anything this aggressive little choom missed, others supplied. I kept a list. When they stopped, I read it back:

"Free hospitals--aren't any in Luna. Medical insurance--we have that but apparently not what you mean by it. If a person wants insurance, he goes to a bookie and works b-Out a bet. You can hedge anything, for a price. I don't hedge my health, I'm healthy. Or was till I came here. We have a public library, one Carnegie Foundation started with a few book films. It gets along by charging fees. Public roads. I suppose that would be our tubes. But they are no more free than air is free. Sorry, you have free air here, don't you? I mean our tubes were built by companies who put up money and are downright nasty about expecting it back and then some. Public schools. There are schools in all warrens and I never heard of them turning away pupils, so I guess they are 'public.' But they pay well, too, because anyone in Luna who knows something useful and is willing to teach it charges all the traffic will bear."

I went on: "Let's see what else--- Social security. I'm not sure what that is but whatever it is, we don't have it. Pensions. You can buy a pension. Most people don't; most families are large and old people, say a hundred and up, either fiddle along at something they like, or sit and watch video. Or sleep. They sleep a lot, after say a hundred and twenty."

"Sir, excuse me. Do people really live as long on the Moon as they say?"

I looked surprised but wasn't; this was a "simulated question" for which an answer had been taped. "Nobody knows how long a person will live in Luna; we haven't been there long enough. Our oldest citizens were born Earthside, it's no test. So far, no one born in Luna died of old age, but that's still no test; they haven't had time to grow old yet, less than a century. But-- Well, take me, madam; how old would you say I am? I'm authentic Loonie, third generation."

"Uh, truthfully, Colonel Davis, I was surprised at your youthfulness--for this mission, I mean. You appear to be about twenty-two. Are you older? Not much, I fancy."

"Madam, I regret that your local gravitation makes it impossible for me to bow. Thank you. I've been married longer than that."

"What? Oh, you're jesting!"

"Madam, I would never venture to guess a lady's age but, if you will emigrate to Luna, you will keep your present youthful loveliness much longer and add at least twenty years to your life." I looked at list. "I'll lump the rest of this together by saying we don't have any of it in Luna, so I can't see any reason to pay taxes for it. On that other point, sir, surely you know that the initial cost of the colonies has long since been repaid several times over through grain shipments alone? We are being bled white of our most essential resources...and not even being paid an open-market price. That's why the Lunar Authority is being stubborn; they intend to go on bleeding us. The idea that Luna has been an expense to Terra and the investment must be recovered is a lie invented by the Authority to excuse their treating us as slaves. The truth is that Luna has not cost Terra one dime this century--and the original investment has long since been paid back."

He tried to rally. "Oh, surely you're not claiming that the Lunar colonies have paid all the billions of dollars it took to develop space flight?"

"I could present a good case. However there is no excuse to charge that against us. You have space flight, you people of Terra. We do not. Luna has not one ship. So why should we pay for what we never received? It's like the rest of this list. We don't get it, why should we pay for it?"

Had been stalling, waiting for a claim that Prof had told me I was sure to hear... and got it at last.

"Just a moment, please!" came a confident voice. "You ignored the two most important items on that list. Police protection and armed forces. You boasted that you were willing to pay for what you get... so how about paying almost a century of back taxes for those two? It should be quite a bill, quite a bill!" He smiled smugly.

Wanted to thank him!--thought Prof was going to chide me for failing to yank it out. People looked at each other and nodded, pleased I had been scored on. Did best to look innocent. "Please? Don't understand. Luna has neither police nor armed forces."

"You know what I mean. You enjoy the protection of the Peace Forces of the Federated Nations. And you do have police. Paid for by the Lunar Authority! I know, to my certain knowledge, that two phalanges were sent to the Moon less than a year ago to serve as policemen."

"Oh." I sighed. "Can you tell me how F.N. peace forces protect Luna? I did not know that any of your nations wanted to attack us. We are far away and have nothing anyone envies. Or did you mean we should pay them to leave us alone? If so, there is an old saying that once you pay Danegeld, you never get rid of the Dane. Sir, we will fight F.N. armed forces if we must... we shall never pay them.

"Now about those so-called 'policemen.' They were not sent to protect us. Our Declaration of Independence told the true story about those hoodlums--did your newspapers print it?" (Some had, some hadn't--depended on country.) "They went mad and started raping and murdering! And now they are dead! So don't send us any more troops!"

Was suddenly "tired" and had to leave. Really was tired; not much of an actor and making that talk-talk come out way Prof thought it should was strain.