The Final Expedition

Day One Hundred and Eighteen

I pulled myself towards the cupola, my camera clutched in my hand. It had been a couple of weeks since I had last videoed the surface of the Earth, though the dark clouds of ash that covered most of the surface didn’t look any different to my eyes. Beneath those dark skies, was it the slow, lingering death from cold or starvation that the survivors on the surface had to look forward to that I had discussed with Aki months ago? As I pulled myself through the hatch, I found Morrison was already there, gazing through the big window at the Earth below.

“Hey Wes.” I smiled. Morrison turned to me and my smile vanished. Morrison’s eyes were red, puffy and moist with tears. “Shit. Look, I’ll leave you alone.”

“It’s okay, Carter.” Morrison replied, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve and trying to recover his composure. “Just having a moment of weakness. Very soft of me. Not how I was trained.” While I desperately wanted to leave, to get out of there and get as far away as the station would allow, I knew I shouldn’t.

“You’ve been thinking about your family?” I guessed. The American nodded.

“In my darkest moments, I think it would be easier to volunteer to stay behind on the station. That way, I know in a few months, I’ll be reunited with them.” I nodded but remained silent, admiring Morrison’s faith, even after everything that had happened. “I try to keep my mind occupied, but I miss them. They are in my thoughts when I close my eyes to sleep, I dream of them at night and I think of them the instant I wake. Every moment my mind isn’t tied up with other things, they just pop in there, the feel of my wife’s kiss, my son’s smile, my baby girl’s giggle.” Morrison’s voice began to crack. For months, I had considered Morrison the strongest and most resilient of Expedition 79, so I found it deeply disconcerting to see the normally stoic American in the depths of despair. Natalya and I had had plenty of low moments before and Flynn just a few weeks previously. If even Morrison was starting to crack, how long would it be before we all fell apart? I reached out a consoling arm, patting Morrison on the shoulder. I felt awkward, not really knowing what to say or do.

“You and Natalya are lucky to have one another.” Morrison said finally. “I envy you, having that emotional intimacy with someone at a time like this.”

“Flynn said something similar a while back.” I nodded.

“He’s right.” Morrison smiled weakly before gazing back at the blackened planet beneath us. “What I wouldn’t give to be able to talk to my wife, if only for just five minutes.”