March 11, 1984
We have conceived a child. We were not trying to, but it happened, anyway. For the last two weeks I have been trying to find the strength to have an abortion so this child will never know the pain that we have seen in this life. But I cannot. I am not strong enough. So the child rests in my womb, and I will give birth sometime in November.
It will be a girl, and she will be a witch, but I will not teach her the craft. It is no longer a part of my life, nor will it be a part of my child's. We will name her Morgan, for Angus's mother. It is a strong name.
— M.R.
On Friday night Cal and I had a date. We were going to a movie with Jenna, Matt, Sharon, and Ethan.
Sharon picked me up—we were meeting Cal at his house. At seven o'clock she pulled her Mercedes into my driveway and honked the horn.
"Bye!" I yelled, slamming the door behind me.
When I got to the car, I saw that Ethan was in the front seat, so I climbed into the back. Sharon roared out of my driveway and hung a fast left onto Riverdale.
"Do you have to drive like a crazy person?" Ethan said, lighting a cigarette.
"Don't you dare make my car smell like an ashtray!" Sharon said, spinning the wheel and stepping on the gas.
Ethan cracked the window and expertly blew out smoke.
"Um, Ethan?" I said. "It's freezing back here."
Ethan sighed and tossed his cigarette out the window, where it hit the street with a thousand tiny orange sparks.
"Now you litter," Sharon said. "Very nice."
"Morgan's cold," Ethan said, rolling up his window. "Turn on her automatic butt warmer back there."
"Morgan?" Sharon asked, looking in the rearview mirror. "So you want the seat warmer?"
"No, thanks," I said, trying not to laugh.
"How about the vibrator?" Ethan asked. "Hey, watch it! You were two inches away from that truck!"
"I was fine" Sharon said, rolling her eyes. "And there's no vibrator in this car."
"You left it at home?" Ethan asked innocently, and I cracked up while Sharon tried to punch Ethan as hard as she could without having an accident. I wished they would just start going out, but I wasn't sure Sharon had even realized how much she liked Ethan yet.
Amazingly, we made it to Cal's in one piece and saw Matt's Jeep already parked in the driveway, along with at least twelve other cars.
"Cal's mom must be having a circle," Sharon said.
I hadn't seen Selene Belltower since the night she had helped calm my fears, and I wanted to thank her again. Cal let us in, kissing me hello, and took us back to the kitchen, where Matt was drinking a seltzer and Jenna was on the phone to the theater.
"What time?" she asked, making notes.
Cal leaned against the counter, pulling me against him.
Jenna hung up the phone. "Okay. It starts at eight-fifteen, so we should leave here around seven forty-five."
"Cool," said Matt
"So we've got some time. You guys want something to drink?" asked Cal. He looked apologetic. "We have to keep the noise down because my mom's having a circle in a while."
"What time do they usually start?" I asked.
"Not till ten or so," he answered. "But people come early, hang out and talk, get caught up on their weeks."
"I wanted to tell your mom thanks again," I said.
"Oh, well, come on, then," he said, taking my hand. "You can see her. We'll be right back," he told the others.
"Did you take the last Coke?" Sharon accused Ethan as we left the kitchen.
"I'll split it with you," was his muffled reply.
Cal and I shared a grin as we walked through the foyer and then through the formal living room and the more casual great room. "There is definitely something happening there," he said, and I nodded.
"It'll be fun when they get together. Sparks will fly."
Cal gave two quick taps on the tall wooden door that led to the huge room Selene used for her circles. Then he opened it, and we walked in. It was quite different tonight than it had been the night I'd arrived here alone, shaken and upset. Now it was aglow with the light of at least a hundred candles. The air was scented with incense, and there were people, both men and women, standing around chatting.
"Morgan, dear, how nice to see you." Turning, I saw Alyce, from Practical Magick. She was wearing a long, purple, batik robe, and her silver hair was loose and hanging around her shoulders.
"Hi," I said. I'd forgotten she belonged to Starlocket Quickly. I searched for David, the clerk who made me nervous. He saw me and smiled, and I gave a tentative smile back.
"How are you?" Alyce asked, seeming to mean it as more than just a polite question.
I thought. "Up and down," I said honestly.
She nodded as if she understood.
Cal had left my side for a moment, and now he returned with his mother. She was also wearing a long, loose robe, but hers was a brilliant red and painted with gold moons and stars and suns. It was stunning.
"Hello, Morgan," she said in her rich, beautiful voice. She took both my hands in hers and kissed both of my cheeks, European style. I felt like royalty. She looked into my eyes and then placed a hand on my cheek. After a few moments she nodded. "It's been difficult," she murmured. "I'm afraid it will be more difficult still. But you're very strong…"
"Yes," I surprised myself by saying clearly. "I am very strong."
Selene Belltower gave me an assessing glance, then smiled at me and at Cal as if in approval. He grinned back at his mother and took my hand.
Her eyes swept the room then, and she focused on someone.
"Cal, I want you to meet someone," she said, and there was an undercurrent of something I didn't understand in her voice.
I followed her gaze and almost jumped a foot in the air when I saw the same pale-haired girl that Bree and Raven had met with in the cemetery. My mouth opened to say something, but a tension in Cal's hand made me look up at him.
He had the most extraordinary look on his face. As best as I can describe it, it was… predatory. I barely controlled a shiver. Suddenly I felt like I didn't know him at all.
I found myself following him as he crossed the room.
"Sky, this is my son, Cal Blaire," said Selene, introducing them. "Cal, this is Sky Eventide."
Wordlessly Cal pulled his hand free from mine and held it out to her. Sky shook it, her night dark eyes never leaving his face. I hated her. My stomach clenched as I saw the appraising way they looked at each other. I wanted to scratch her, tear at her, and I drew in a shuddering breath.
Then Cal looked at me. "This is my girlfriend, Morgan Rowlands," he said. He called me his girlfriend, which was mildly reassuring. Then her dark eyes were on me, like two pieces of coal, and I shook her hand, feeling its strength.
"Morgan," said Sky. She was English, and she had an incredibly musical, lilting voice, a voice that made me instantly want to hear her chanting, spelling, singing rituals. Which made me hate her more.
"Selene has mentioned you to me," said Sky. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you."
Over my dead body, I thought, but forced my mouth to stretch into something resembling a smile. I could feel Cal's tension, feel his body next to mine as he looked at her and practically drank her in with his eyes. Sky Eventide regarded Cal calmly, as if she saw his challenge and would meet it.
"I believe you know Hunter," she said, gesturing to someone behind her, who had his back to us.
The person behind Sky turned, and I almost gasped. If Sky was daytime, Hunter was sunlight. His hair was a pale gold, and he had fine, pale skin, with some freckles on his cheeks and nose. His eyes were a wide, clear green, with no traces of blue or brown or gray in them. He was stunningly good-looking, and he made my stomach turn. Like Sky, I hated him on sight, in a primitive, inexplicable way.
"Yes. I know Hunter," Cal said flatly, not extending his hand.
"Cal," said Hunter. He met Cal's gaze, then turned to me. I didn't smile. "And you are?"
I said nothing.
"Morgan Rowlands," Sky supplied. "Cal's girlfriend. Morgan, this is Hunter Niall."
Still I said nothing, and Hunter looked at me hard, as if trying to see through to my skeleton. It reminded me of the way Selene Belltower had first looked at me, but it caused no pain. Only a strong urge to be away from these people. My insides felt hollow and shaky, and I suddenly wanted desperately to go back to the kitchen, to be just a girl waiting to go to the movies with my friends.
"Hello, Morgan," Hunter said finally. I noticed that he was English, too.
"Cal," I said, trying not to choke, "we have to go. The movie." It wasn't true—we had nearly half an hour before we had to go—but I couldn't stand another minute of this.
"Yes," he said, looking down at me. "Yes." He looked at Sky again. "Have a good circle."
"We will," she said.
I wanted to run out of there. In my mind I wildly pictured Sky and Cal kissing, twining together, wrestling on his bed. I hated the jealousy I felt about him: I knew all too well how destructive jealousy could be. But I couldn't help it.
"Cal?" asked Selene as we were almost at the door. "Do you have a minute?"
He nodded, then squeezed my hand. "I'll be back in a sec," he said, and walked over to his mom. I kept walking, out the door, through the great room, through the living room and into the foyer. Feeling hot and clammy, I couldn't face Jenna, Matt, Sharon, and Ethan just yet. There was a powder room down the hall from the foyer, and I locked myself in. Again and again I splashed cold water on my face and cupped my hands and drank some.
What was the matter with me? Slowly my breathing calmed, and my face, despite its lingering, faint bruises, looked pretty normal. In all of my life I had never had such a strong reaction to anyone. Ever since Cal had first come to Widow's Vale, my life had changed with huge, sweeping movements.
Finally I felt capable of seeing the others. Opening the door, I headed down the hall to the kitchen.
But then my skin prickled. In another moment I heard voices in the hall, low, murmuring. They were unmistakable: Sky and Hunter. And they were coming toward me.
I shrank against the wall, trying to fade into the woodwork, and suddenly I heard a click and fell backward. Catching myself, I didn't tall, but gaped in surprise as I realized there was a door hidden in the hallway.
Without thinking, hearing the voices grow closer, I slipped farther into the room and closed the door with a tiny snick. I leaned against it, my heart hammering, and listened as the voices moved past, down the hall. I strained to concentrate but couldn't make out any words. Why were Sky and Hunter affecting me this way? Why did they fill me with dread?
Then they passed, their voices faded, and silence filled my ears.
I blinked and looked at my surroundings. Although I hadn't even noticed the door in the hallway, in here it was clearly outlined, and a small inset clearly showed me I could get out again.
It was a study, Selene's study, I realized quickly. A large library table in front of a window was draped with a tapestry and held a display of various mortars, pestles, and pint-size cauldrons. There was a sturdy leather couch, an antique desk with a computer and printer, and tall, oak bookcases filled with thousands of volumes.
The desk lamp was on, providing an intimate light, and I found myself drifting toward the bookcases. For the moment I forgot that my friends were waiting for me, that Cal had probably returned, that we had to leave for the movie soon. It all went out of my head as I started reading titles.