The Coven

CHAPTER 12 Beauty Out

Imbolc, 1982

Oh, Goddess, Goddess, please help me. Please help me. Mathair, her hand rising up black from the smoking ashes. My little Dagda. My own da.

Oh, Goddess, I'm going to be ill; my soul is breaking. I cannot bear this pain.

— Bradhadair

That night my parents tried to act normal at dinner, but I kept looking at them with questions in my eyes, and by dessert we were all staring at our plates. Mary K. was obviously upset by the silence, and as soon as dinner was over she went up to her room and started playing loud music. Ceiling-shaking thumps told us she was dancing out some of her stress.

I couldn't stand being there. If only Cal wasn't helping his mom. Impulsively I called Janice and joined her, Ben Reggio, and Tamara at the dollar movies up in Red Kill. We saw some stupid action movie that involved a lot of motorcycle chases. The whole time I sat there in the dark theater, I kept thinking, Muirn beatha dan, over and over.

On Saturday morning Dad went outside to rake leaves and cut back the shrubs and trees so they wouldn't be broken in a winter ice storm. Mom took off after breakfast to go to her church women's club.

I put on my jacket and crunched my way outside to my dad.

"When are you guys going to tell me?" I said flatly. "Are you just going to pretend nothing happened?"

He paused and leaned on the rake for a moment. "No, Morgan," he said at last. "We couldn't do that, no matter how much we wanted to." His voice was mild, and again I felt some of my anger deflate. I was determined not to let it go and kicked at a small pile of leaves.

"Well?" I demanded. "Where did you get me? Who were my parents? Did you know them? What happened to them?"

Dad flinched as if my words were physically hurting him.

"I know we have to talk about it," he said, his voice thin and raspy. "But… I need more time."

"Why?" I exploded, throwing my arms wide. "What are you waiting for?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said, looking down at the ground. "I know we've made a lot of mistakes in the past sixteen years. We tried to do our best. But Morgan," He looked at me. "We've buried this for sixteen years. It isn't easy to dredge it up. I know you want answers, and I hope we can give them to you. But it isn't easy. And in the end, it might be that you wish you didn't know."

I gaped at him, then shook my head in disbelief and stalked back to the house. What was I going to do?

On Saturday night I dropped Mary K. off at her friend Jaycee's house. They were going to meet Bakker and a bunch of other people at the movies. I was going on to meet with our coven at Matt's house.

"Where's Bakker's car?" I asked as I pulled up in front of Jaycee's house.

Mary K. made a face. "His folks took it away for a week after he flunked a history exam."

"Oh, too bad," I said. "Well, have a good time. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Mary K. rolled her eyes. "Oh, okay," she said dryly. "Note to self: Try not to dance around naked, doing witchcraft. Thanks for the ride." She got out and slammed the car door, and I watched her go into Jaycee's house.

Sighing, I drove on to Matt's house, following his directions to the very outskirts of town. Ten minutes later I parked in front of a low-slung brick modern house, and Jenna let me in.

"Hey!" she said brightly. "Come on in. We're in the living room. I can't remember—have you ever been here before?"

"No," I said, leaving my coat on a metal hook. "Are Matt's parents here?"

Jenna shook her head. "His dad had a medical convention in Florida, and his mom went, too. We have the whole place to ourselves."

"Sweet," I said, following her. We took a right into a large living room, a white rectangle with one whole wall made of glass. I guess it must have looked out onto the beck-yard, but right now it was dark outside, and all I could see was our own reflections.

"Hi, Morgan," said Matt. He was wearing an old rugby shirt and jeans. "Welcome to Adler Hall."

We both laughed as Sharon came into the room. "Hi, Morgan," she said. "Matt, what's with all the bizarre furniture?"

"My mom is into sixties stuff," Matt explained.

Ethan poked his head up from a red plush couch. It was so deep, it looked like it was about to swallow him. A white floor lamp shaped like a globe with one flat side curved over his head. "I feel like I've gone back in time," he said. "All we need is a conversation pit."

"There's one in the study," said Matt, grinning. The doorbell rang, and I felt a warm thrill of recognition even before Jenna went to answer it. Cal, I thought happily, a tingle going down my spine. Muirn beatha dan. Moments later I heard his voice as he greeted Jenna. All my nerve cells came alive at the sound and at the memory of yesterday, in his room.

"Does anyone want tea, or water, or a soda," Matt offered as Cal came into the room, holding a big, beat-up leather satchel. "We don't keep alcohol in the house 'cause my dad's in AA."

This frank admission startled me. "Water sounds great."

I crossed to Cal and gave him a quick kiss, marveling at my own boldness.

The doorbell rang again. A moment later Matt came back into the room, carrying some bottles of seltzer. Robbie was right behind him. "Hey," he said.

I stared. I guess I should have been used to it by now, but I wasn't. It was as if Robbie's personality and lame social skills had been transferred into the body of a teen star. "Where are your glasses?" I asked.

Robbie took a bottle of seltzer from Matt and popped the cap. "That's the funny thing," he said slowly. "I don't need them anymore."

"How could you not need glasses?" I demanded. "Did you have laser surgery without telling me?"

"Nope," Robbie said. "That's what all the tests this week were about. Apparently my eyesight has just gotten better. I was having headaches because I didn't need to wear glasses anymore, and the lenses were straining my eyes."

He didn't sound happy, and it took me a few moments to realize that slowly, everyone's attention had turned to me.

"No!" I said strongly. "I absolutely did not do another spell! Honestly—I swear! I promised Robbie, and everyone else, that I wouldn't do another spell, and I haven't! I haven't done any spells at all!"

Robbie looked at me with his clear, gray-blue eyes, no longer hidden by thick, distorting lenses. "Morgan," he said.

"I swear! I absolutely promise you," I said, holding up my right hand. Robbie looked unconvinced. "Robbie! Believe me."

Conflict showed in his face. "What could it be, then?" he asked. "Eyes don't just get better. I mean, the actual shape of my eyeballs has changed. They were giving me MRIs to see if I had a tumor pressing on my brain."

"Jesus," Matt muttered.

"I don't know," I said helplessly. "But it wasn't me."

"This is incredible," said Jenna, sounding short of breath. "Could someone else have put a spell on him?"

"I could have," Cal said thoughtfully. "But I didn't. Morgan, do you remember the actual words of your spell?"

"Yes," I said. "But I put the spell on the potion I gave him, not on him."

"That's true," Cal mused. "Though if the potion was supposed to act on him in some way… what were the words?"

I swallowed, thinking back. "Um, 'So beauty in is beauty out," I recited softly. "This potion make your blemish nowt. This healing water makes you pure, and thus your beauty will endure."

"That was it?" Sharon asked. "God, why didn't you do it sooner?"

"Sharon," Robbie said in irritation.

"Okay, okay," said Cal. "We have a couple of possibilities here. One is that Robbie's eyes have spontaneously healed themselves due to some unfathomable miracle."

Ethan snorted, and Sharon shot him a glance.

"The second possibility," Cal went on, "is that Morgan's spell wasn't specific enough, wasn't limited only to Robbie's skin. It was a spell to eliminate blemishes, imperfections. His eyes were imperfect; now they're perfect. Like his skin."

The enormity of that thought was just sinking in when Ethan said brightly, "Great! I can't wait to see what it does for his personality!"

Jenna couldn't help snickering. I sank weakly into a chair shaped like a giant cupped hand.

"The third possibility," said Cal, "is that someone we don't know has put a spell on Robbie. That doesn't seem likely—why would a stranger want to do that? No, I think it's more likely that Morgan's spell has just continued to fix things."

"That's kind of frightening," I said, chilled. Did I really have that kind of power?

"It's pretty unusual. That's why you're not supposed to be doing spells until you know more," Cal said. I felt terrible. "When we start learning spells, I'll show you how to limit them. Limitations are just about the most important things to know, along with how to channel power. When you work a spell, you need to limit it in time, effect, purpose, duration, and target."

"Oh, no." I dropped my head into my hands. "I didn't do any of that."

"And actually, now that I think about it you banished limitations at the very first circle. Remember?" Cal asked. "That might have something to do with this also."

"So what now?" Robbie demanded. "What else is going to change?"

"Probably not much more," Cal said. "For one thing, even though Morgan's really powerful, she's still just a beginner. She's not in touch with her full powers."

I was glad he hadn't referred to me again as a blood witch. I wanted people to forget about it for now.

"Also," Cal said, "this kind of spell is usually self-limiting. I mean, the potion was for your face, and you put it only on your face, right? You didn't drink it or anything?"

"God, no," Robbie said.

Cal shrugged. "So it's just fixing that general area, including your eyes, it's unusual, but I guess it's not impossible."

"I don't believe this." I moaned, hiding my face. "I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I did this. I am so, so sorry, Robbie."

"What are you sorry about?" Ethan asked. "Now he can be an airline pilot."

Sharon giggled, then stifled it.

"So you don't think it's going to do anything else?" Robbie asked Cal.

"I don't know," Cal said. He grinned. "Have you been feeling especially smart lately? It could be working on your brain."

I moaned again.

Cal nudged me. "I'm only kidding. It's probably over. Stop worrying."

He clapped once. "Well. I think it's time to start talking about spells and limitations!"

I couldn't laugh, though some of the others did.

"This is our first circle without Bree, Raven, and Beth," said Cal.

"I'm going to miss them," said Jenna softly. Her eyes flicked to me, and I wondered if she thought it was my fault that they had left.

Cal nodded. "Yeah. Me too. But maybe without them we'll be more tightly focused. We'll find out."

We sat in a ring on the floor around Cal. "First, let's go over clans," he said. "You know how they all have qualities associated with them. The Brightendales were healers. The Woodbanes—the 'dark clan'—supposedly fought for power at any cost."

"Ooh," Robbie said. He gave me a mock-fearful look. But I just shivered. The very idea of the Woodbanes made me cold. I didn't think it was something to laugh at.

"The Burnhides were known for their magick with crystals and gems," Cal went on. "The Leapvaughns were mischief makers. The Vikroths were warriors. And so on." He looked around the circle. "Well, just as each clan had qualities associated with it so each clan also had certain runes that it tended to use. So—I think it's time we took a look at some runes."

Cal opened his large leather satchel and pulled out a sheaf of what looked like index cards. He held them up, and I saw that each one had a rune drawn on it very large.

"Rune flash cards!" I said, and Cal nodded.

"Basically, yes," he said. "Using runes is a quick way to get in touch with a deep, old source of power. Tonight I just want to show them to you and have you concentrate on each one. Each symbol has many meanings. They're all there for you, if you open yourself up to them."

We all watched, fascinated, as he held up the white cards one by one, reading the runes' names and telling us what they traditionally stood for.

"There are different names for each symbol. The names depend on whether you're working within a Norse tradition, or German, or Gaelic," Cal explained. "Later on, we'll talk about which runes are associated with which clans."

"This is so beautiful," said Sharon. "I love that people have used these for thousands of years."

Ethan turned to her, nodding his agreement. I watched as their eyes met and held.

Who would have known that Sharon Goodfine would find Wicca beautiful? Or that Ethan would dare to like her? Witchcraft was revealing us not only to ourselves but to each other.

"Let's make a circle," said Cal.