The Coven

CHAPTER 18 Desire

September 20, 1983

Angus and I sat home glumly tonight, thinking about what we would be doing if we were at home and everything was as it had been. I can't believe no one here celebrates the harvest, the richness of the autumn. The closest thing they have is Thanksgiving in November but that seems to be more about pilgrims and Indians and turkey.

The summer was blessed: hot, quiet, full of long slow days and nights filled with the sound of frogs and crickets. My garden grew magnificently, and I was so proud. The sun and earth and rain worked their magick without my helping or asking.

Bridget is fine and fat. She's a champion mouser and can even catch crickets.

My job is dull but fine. Angus is leaning some beautiful woodworking. We have little money, but we're safe here.

— M.R.

"I guess you're wondering why I asked you to meet me," I said as Cal slid into the front seat of my car on Wednesday afternoon.

"Because you wanted my body?" he guessed, and then I was laughing and holding him tightly and he was trying to find a part of me to kiss that wouldn't hurt. I was ninety percent better, but my face was still sensitive.

"Try here," I said, tapping my lips gently.

Slowly, carefully, he lowered his mouth to mine and applied just the slightest pressure.

"Mmmm," I said. Cal pulled back and looked at me.

"Let's get in the backseat," he said.

This seemed like a fine idea. The backseat of the Valiant was huge and roomy, and we felt comfortable and private as the November wind blew against the windows and whistled beneath the car.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, once we were cozily settled. "Did that arnica help?"

I nodded. "I think it did. The bruises seem to have gone away really fast"

He smiled and gently touched my temple. "Almost."

I had planned to tell him about what I'd seen yesterday, but now that we were together, the words flew out of my head. Contentedly I lay against him, feeling his hands smooth my skin, and I didn't want to think about following Bree or spying on her.

"Does this feel good?" Cal asked, sounding sleepy as he stroked my back. His eyes were closed, his knees were bent, his feet propped on the side door handle.

"Uh-huh," I said. I let my hand roam up and down his firm chest. After a second I undid the top of his shirt. I slid my hand inside.

"Ummm," Cal whispered, and he turned a little so that we were facing each other, chest to chest. He kissed me so gently and so softly that it didn't hurt a bit.

Then I felt the shocking, hot sensation of my skin against his and realized our shirts had somehow edged up so that our stomachs were touching. It felt amazing, and I wrapped my leg around his hips, feeling the tiny ribs of his brown corduroy jeans pressing against my thigh through my leggings.

As I pressed myself closer to him I kept thinking, He's the one, the one, the one. My only one. My muirn beatha dan. The one meant for me. This was all supposed to happen.

Cal pulled back a little bit then spoke against my cheek. "Am I the first person you've been close to?"

"Yes," I whispered. I felt his lips smile against my skin, and he held me tighter.

"I'm not your first person." I stated the obvious.

"No," he said after a moment "Does that bother you?"

"Did you sleep with Bree?" I blurted out then winced, wanting to erase the words.

Cal looked surprised. "Bree? Why." He shook his head. "Where did that come from?"

"She told me you did," I said, trying to prepare myself for the answer, to act like it didn't matter. Gazing at my fingers resting against his chest I waited to see what he would say.

"Bree told you that she slept with me?" he asked. I nodded.

"Did you believe her?"

I shrugged, trying to suppress the panicky feeling that was building inside me. "I didn't know. Bree is gorgeous, and she usually gets what she wants. I guess it wouldn't surprise me."

"I don't kiss and tell," Cal said, considering his words. "I think that stuff should be private."

My heart threatened to explode.

"But I'll tell you this much because I don't want it between us. Yes, Bree made it clear she was into the idea. But I wasn't available at the time, so it didn't happen."

I frowned. "Why weren't you available?"

He laughed, brushing back my hair. "I had already seen you."

"And it was witch at first sight." The words just slipped out. I winced, wishing I could take them back.

Cal shook his head, bemused. "What do you mean?"

"Raven and Bree said that you're only with me because I'm a witch, a strong witch."

"Is that what you believe?" Cal asked, his voice cooler.

"I don't know," I said, starting to feel awful. Why did I ever begin this conversation?

Cal was silent for a couple of minutes and very still. "I don't know what the right answer is. Sure, your powers as a witch are really exciting to me. The idea of us working together, of helping you learn what I know, is… tantalizing. And as for the rest I just… think you're beautiful. You're pretty and sexy, and I'm drawn to you. I don't even understand why we're having this conversation, after I told you about the muirn beatha dan." He shook his head.

I was silent feeling like I had dug myself into a hole.

"Could you do me a favor?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, afraid of what he was about to say.

"Could you ignore what other people say?"

"I'll try," I said quietly.

"Could you do me another favor?"

I looked at him.

"Could you kiss me again? Things were just starting to get interesting."

Laughing, wanting to cry, I leaned down and kissed him. He held me to him strongly, pressing me against his body from chest to knees. His hands swept over my back, my sides, and explored my skin underneath my shirt. I felt his fingers smooth over the small birthmark I have under my right arm, feeling its raised edges.

"I've always had that," I whispered. He hadn't seen it but it was a rose pink mark about an inch and a half long. I had always thought it looked like a small dagger. It made me smile to think of it now: I could say it looked like an athame.

"I love it," Cal murmured, feeling it again. "It's part of you." Then he kissed me again, sweeping me away on a tide of emotion.

"Think about magick," Cal whispered, and my scattered thoughts couldn't comprehend his meaning. He continued touching me, and he said, "Magick is a strong feeling, and this is a strong feeling. Put them together."

If I had tried talking just then, it would have come out as gibberish. But inside my mind, his words strung together and made some sort of dim sense. I thought about how I felt when I made magick or gathered magick: that feeling of power, of completion, of being connected to things, being part of the world. With Cal's hands on me I felt a similar and yet very different sensation: it, too, was power and a kind of gathering, but it was also like a door leading somewhere else.

And then I got it. It all came together. Our mouths together, our breaths wreathing themselves together, our minds in tune with each other, my hands on his skin, his hands on mine, and it felt almost like we were in a circle, when the energy is all around, there for the taking.

There was energy surrounding us, wrapping us together, and my shirt was pushed up, my breasts against the warm skin of his chest, and we were holding each other tightly and kissing, and magick sparked. Any words I said then would be a spell. Any thought I had would be a magickal directive. Anything I called to me would come.

It went way beyond exhilarating.

When we stopped and I opened my eyes, it was dark outside. I had no idea of what time it was and glanced at my watch to see I was late for dinner.

Groaning, I pulled down my shirt.

"What time is it?" Cal murmured, his fingers already reaching for his buttons.

"Six-thirty," I said. "I have to go."

"Okay."

As I reached for the door, he pulled me back against him so I sat in his lap.

"That was incredible," he whispered, kissing my cheek. He gave me a big grin. "I mean, that was incredible!"

I laughed, still feeling powerful as he opened the car door. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said. "And I'll think about you tonight."

He headed back to his own car. As I climbed into the front seat of Das Boot and started the engine, emotion almost overwhelmed me.

It was only late that night, when I was lying in bed, that I remembered that I'd never told him about the blond witch.

On Thursday morning the only parking spot was right behind Breezy, Bree's sleek BMW. I thought about how easy it would be for my car to crush hers, then I smiled wryly at having such a mean, unmagickal thought

"You look different," Mary K. said as I carefully maneuvered my car into the spot. She peered into the passenger-side makeup mirror and reapplied her lip gloss.

I glanced at her, startled. Had she seen me in the car with Cal yesterday? "What do you mean?"

"Your bruises are a lot better," said Mary K. She looked out her car window. "Oh God, there he is."

My eyes narrowed at the sight of Bakker Blackburn skulking around the life sciences building, obviously waiting for Mary K.

"Mary K., he tried to hurt you," I reminded her.

She bit her lip, looking at him. "He's so sorry," she muttered.

"You can't trust him." I gathered up my backpack, and we opened our doors.

"I know," my sister said, looking at him. "I know." She moved off to see some of her girlfriends, and I headed for the coven hangout

"Morgan." Raven's voice reached me from a few feet away. I looked over to see her and Bree striding along beside me.

I didn't say anything.

"Your face is looking more normal," said Raven snidely. "Did you do a magick spell to fix it? Oh, wait, you're not supposed to, right?"

I just kept on walking. So did they. I realized Raven and Bree were going to follow me all the way to the east door.

Jenna and Matt saw us first. Then Cal met my eyes and gave me an intimate smile, which I returned. His gaze grew cold when he saw Bree and Raven behind me.

"Hi, guys," said Jenna, with her usual friendliness. "Bree, how's it going?"

"Peachy keen," Bree said sarcastically. "Everything's great. How about you?"

"Fine," said Jenna. "I haven't had an asthma attack all week." Her eyes flicked to me, and I looked down.

"Really?" said Raven.

"Hey, Bree," called Seth Moore. He loped up to us, his baggy pants long around his ankles.

"Hi," said Bree, making that one word sound like a promise. "Why didn't you call me last night?"

"Didn't know I was supposed to," he said. "Tell you what— I'll call you twice tonight." He looked jubilant at this clear sign of approval and shifted his feet, looking at Bree.

"It's a date," she said in a smarmy, come-hither voice that anyone with two brain cells to rub together would see right through.

"Knock it off, Bree," Robbie said suddenly. Everyone else seemed surprised, but I remembered the look I'd seen on his face that day in the gym.

"Whaaat?" Bree looked at him with wide eyes.

"Knock it off," he said, sounding bored and angry. "It's not a date. Seth, take a hike. You won't be calling her."

We were all staring at Robbie, whose face was set and stiff with dislike.

Seth met his stare. "Who the hell are you?" he asked belligerently. "Her dad?"

Robbie shrugged, and I realized how tall he was, how heavy. He looked pretty formidable and made Seth seem slim and young. "Whatever," he said. "Forget about her."

"Robbie!" Bree snapped, her hands on her hips. "Who do you think you are? I can go out with anyone I want! God, you're worse than Chris!"

Robbie looked down at her. "Stop it, Bree," he said more quietly. "You don't want him." He held her gaze for a long time. I glanced at Jenna, and she raised an eyebrow.

Bree opened her mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. She seemed almost mesmerized.

"Hey!" said Seth. "You don't own her! You can't tell her who she wants!"

Slowly Robbie raised his eyes and looked at Seth like he was an insect. "Whatever," he said again, then he turned and walked into the school building as the bell rang.

For one startled moment Bree watched him leave, then she quickly looked at me, and it was like old times when we could pass a wealth of information in one second. Then she turned, and Raven snickered, and the two of them walked away. Seth stood there, looking dumb, and finally turned and headed off, muttering under his breath.

"She sure can pick them," Sharon said brightly. Cal took my hand.

"Yeah," I said, wondering exactly what we had just witnessed. "And they can pick her, too."