Shadowspell

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ethan took far longer to get the drinks than I was expecting, and I considered going into the kitchen after him. I decided against it because I figured I needed the time to pull myself together as much as he did.

Apparently, it didn’t matter what my logical, practical side told me about Ethan and all my reasons for doubting him. When he was near me, when he touched me, logic was useless. I’d pulled back tonight, but it was embarrassing to think how hard it had been. And if I ever ended up going on a real date with him, who knew what I’d end up doing. The guy turned my brain to mush, and that was ridiculously dangerous, for both of us. Of course, Ethan didn’t know it was dangerous for him—I doubted the Erlking had let him in on our bargain.

Ethan looked a little better when he finally returned to the living room, bringing me a Coke in one of those old-fashioned glass bottles and a bottle of something called Old Peculier for himself. It was some kind of dark beer, and I suspected it wasn’t anything cheap. His bottle was almost half empty already, which I didn’t think was a good sign. He handed me the Coke, then sat beside me on the sofa and took a long pull on his beer. The silence between us felt awkward.

I tried to think of a subtle way to ask Ethan again what was wrong, but subtlety wasn’t my strong suit. Ethan was rolling his bottle between his hands, staring at it sightlessly. Kimber was obviously right, and something was wrong. Maybe he and I weren’t close enough for me to have the right to pry, but that didn’t stop me.

“What did the Erlking do to you?” I asked softly.

Ethan blinked and snapped out of his brooding. He raised the bottle to his lips again, chugging the remains. I’m not a connoisseur of beer by any stretch of the imagination, but I suspected Old Peculier was meant to be sipped rather than chugged.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ethan said, setting the empty bottle on the coffee table in front of him, and then staring at it some more.

“I kinda got that hint,” I replied. “But if you don’t talk about it, how are you ever going to get over it? Whatever ‘it’ is?” Even at the time, I knew I should apply those words to my own situation, but I still wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about my devil’s bargain.

He shook his head. “It’s just one of those things I’m going to have to deal with on my own.”

“This is one of those guy things, right? You figure if you don’t talk about your problems, they’ll go away?”

He finally looked at me, and the expression on his face was forbidding. “When I said I don’t want to talk about it, I meant it.”

Maybe I should have backed down. If our positions were reversed and he were grilling me about how I’d gotten the Erlking to let him go, I’d have been getting pretty pissed off about his questions. But some instinct inside me urged me to keep pushing, insisting that Ethan secretly did want to talk.

“You know, I practically sold my soul to the devil to get you back,” I told him, and saw from his flinch that I was hitting a nerve. “Arawn kept telling me you were ‘unharmed,’ and I think I have a right to know if he was lying to me or not, because if he’s lying about that, he could be lying about other things, too.”

My whole argument was a pretty big stretch, but from the way Ethan’s fists clenched in his lap, I guessed I was getting through to him in a tough love kind of way. He brooded another minute or two, then unclenched his fists and shook out his hands. Then he reached up and touched the tattoo that framed his eye.

“I’ve been released from the Wild Hunt,” he said, still fingering the tattoo, “but it’s not the same thing as being free.” He dropped his hand and finally turned to look at me, his expression haunted. “I’m still tied to him, Dana. I don’t have to ride with the Hunt, but I’m his creature now and always will be.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, though I had a sneaking suspicion I actually did.

“When he bound me to the Hunt, when he put his mark on me…” Ethan touched the tattoo again. “I can’t ever disobey him. His magic won’t let me.”

With a cry of mingled despair and frustration, Ethan collapsed into his seat, letting his head come to rest on the back of the sofa. The pain in his eyes was so intense I had to look away.

“I’ve been a goddamn puppet all my life,” he said, his voice laced with a bitterness I’d never heard from him before. “I’ve always been the good son, done what my father wanted me to do. He asked me to try to win you over, even if I had to be a lying bastard to do it, and it never even occurred to me to say no.

“Then, when I actually got to know you…” He shook his head without lifting it from the back of the couch. “You’re your own person, Dana. I know your father wants to control you just like mine wants to control me, but you won’t let it happen. You make your own decisions, and you don’t let anyone push you around. I thought maybe … Maybe I could try to be like that, too. Maybe if my father asked me to do something I thought was wrong, I’d say no next time.

“You can bet he wasn’t happy with me for trying to help you leave Avalon. It’s the first time I’ve ever openly defied him like that, and it felt good. But now…” He laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “Now that I finally found the guts to stand up to my father, I end up with the Erlking’s claws sunk into me so deep I’ll never get free.”

I gritted my teeth, thinking what an idiot I had been. I knew that my bargain with the Erlking had to be worded very carefully, that he would abide by it only to the letter of the law. I’d thought that freeing Ethan from the Hunt would mean freeing him from the Erlking, but now looking back I saw it for the stupid assumption it had been.

“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” I said as guilt settled heavily on my shoulders.

He sat up straight, then leaned over and put his arm around my shoulders, drawing me close to his side. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’d have been the Erlking’s slave for life if you hadn’t saved me.”

He put his other arm around me and pulled me into a hug. I went easily, resting my head against his chest and hearing the steady thump of his heart.

“I can’t help wondering how you managed to do that,” Ethan said as I cuddled against him. His arms tightened around me. “What did you have to give him, Dana?” His voice choked on the question.

I wanted to say something soothing, something to ease the guilt I heard in his voice. The truth certainly wasn’t going to do that, and if I’d been able to think of a really good lie, I’d have used it already to calm everyone down.

I guess I was quiet long enough that Ethan figured I wasn’t going to answer his question, because he let out a heavy sigh and asked another.

“Is it true, what you told Kimber? Did the Erlking put a geis on you?”

My first instinct was to lie. I’d lied about it so much already it was almost beginning to feel like the truth. But I just couldn’t do it, not when Ethan had just poured out his heart to me. I wasn’t ready to tell him the truth, but that didn’t mean I had to lie.

“There is no geis,” I confided. “Please don’t tell anyone. It’s not something I can talk about. I told everyone there was a geis so they would stop asking me.”

His chin settled on the top of my head, rubbing back and forth absently. I was still aware of the warmth of him, and of my attraction, but this contact felt more peaceful.

“Maybe what’s good for the gander is good for the goose?” he suggested gently.

I sighed. “Maybe it is, but I just can’t talk about it. Not now.” Maybe not ever, but I didn’t feel a need to share that.

“All right,” he said. “I won’t push. But if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.”

My heart squeezed gratefully, and I knew that all my doubts and worries about Ethan were pointless. I was in too deep already, and as long as he wanted me, I would be his.

I stayed at Ethan’s for about an hour. We didn’t talk much, but we didn’t make out again, either. I’d have been disappointed, if snuggling up in his arms on the couch hadn’t felt so good all by itself. I could have stayed like that all night, but eventually I started yawning.

“We should get you home,” Ethan said, and I knew he was right. He stood, drawing me to my feet right along with him. “I still can’t believe you went traipsing around in the city all by yourself,” he said, voice tight with disapproval. “How did you get past Finn, anyway? I thought he was stationed between your suite and the door.”

Frowning, I looked up into Ethan’s face. As far as I could remember, I hadn’t ever described the setup of my safe house to him. I supposed he could be making an assumption, but it didn’t sound like it.

He read the confusion on my face and explained without me having to question him. “The Erlking knows where you live.”

Yes, I’d figured that out when I found his little charm on my bedside table. “And he told you?” I couldn’t imagine why, and I didn’t much like the idea of Ethan knowing. I might be halfway in love with him, but I still didn’t fully trust him. Not that I thought he’d hurt me or anything, but I couldn’t help fearing he’d tell someone he shouldn’t.

Ethan stared at his toes. “Yeah, he told me. Said it wasn’t inconceivable that he’d need to send me down there sometime. He’s determined to make sure you don’t get killed, at least not until you’ve given him what he wants.”

I shook my head. “I don’t suppose telling him I don’t want his protection will do any good.”

Ethan snorted. “No, I don’t suppose it would. And don’t think I’m letting you off that easy. How did you get past Finn?”

I opened my mouth to tell Ethan about the brooch, then thought better of it before any words came out. There were any number of reasons he might decide to take the brooch away from me, not least of which being the very fact that it came from the Erlking. He also might take it into his head to protect me from myself by making sure I couldn’t get out of my safe house unnoticed again. He was a lot bigger and stronger than me, and even with my self-defense training, I doubted I’d be able to stop him from taking the brooch if he really wanted to.

“I snuck out while he was in the bathroom,” I said, hoping Ethan didn’t notice my hesitation. “Everyone thinks I’m really sensible, so it’s not like they keep me locked up or anything. As far as Finn knows, I’m in my room fast asleep.”

Ethan didn’t look completely convinced, but he didn’t challenge the story, either. “I’m going to walk you home,” he informed me, and his tone said there would be no arguing with him.

I bit my lip. I’d actually be a lot safer if Ethan didn’t walk me home, because then I could use the brooch. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it without more explanation than I was willing to give. Yes, it would be a bit dangerous to walk around Avalon with only Ethan for protection, but I decided it was an acceptable risk.

I felt more certain of my decision when Ethan took me directly into the tunnel system through the hidden access point in the courtyard. Traveling through the streets of Avalon, even at this time of night, it was possible—if unlikely—that one of the bad guys might spot me. But as vast as the tunnel system was, there were only a few populated areas, which would be easy to avoid now that I had my “native guide” with me.

The entrance we used led directly into one of the completely unpopulated sections of the tunnel system, where there was no electricity. I had my flashlight, but Ethan was using an actual torch, which he lit by magic. It created a lot more light than my flashlight, but I couldn’t help finding its flickering flame—and the moving shadows that flame created—creepy.

Ethan led the way, holding the torch out to his side because the ceiling was too low for him to hold it up. Our footsteps echoed eerily against the stone walls, and the occasional snap and crackle of the flame set my nerves on edge. Then again, just being in these tunnels tended to have that effect on me. As far as I knew, I hadn’t been claustrophobic before I’d come to Avalon, but I was now.

Neither one of us talked much. The silence of the tunnels was too oppressive, the echoes of even our whispers too unnerving. I’d always found the tunnels kinda scary, but the effect was worse than ever tonight. The tightness of Ethan’s shoulders and the cautious way he proceeded told me he felt it, too. I told myself it was just our imaginations, that we couldn’t help being at least a little freaked out traveling these dark, deserted, confusing tunnels in the dead of night. That didn’t stop the little hairs on the back of my neck from standing at attention.

Ethan reached back and took my hand, fingers intertwining with mine. His palm was sweaty, and that didn’t do much to ease my fears. I swallowed hard, trying to convince myself I was being ridiculous, but it didn’t work, and a few moments later, Ethan came to a stop.

“Something just doesn’t feel right,” he muttered under his breath.

I couldn’t help agreeing with him. “What should we do?” I asked in the quietest whisper I could manage. But I couldn’t imagine what we could do, other than keep moving.

Ethan’s eyes were narrowed as he peered into the darkness ahead of us. The Fae have better eyesight than humans, but it seemed clear he didn’t see any cause for alarm. Looking grimly determined, he took another step forward, his hand squeezing mine a little more firmly. He was going to cut off circulation to my fingers if he didn’t ease up, but I was feeling anxious enough not to protest.

Something in the tunnel ahead of us made a coughing sound, and there was a little flash of light. Ethan cried out, and the torch fell from his hand.

I turned to him in alarm. “Ethan! What’s wrong?” It was hard to see in the erratic light of the fallen torch, but there was a patch of wetness staining his right shoulder, just above his collarbone.

He collapsed to his knees, his fingers going limp in my hand. “Run, Dana,” he said, and tried to give me a weak shove back the way we’d come. The stain on his shirt continued to spread, and he swayed. “Run!” he said again.

“Hell, no,” I replied, grabbing hold of his good arm and trying to drag him to his feet. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on yet, but I did know I wasn’t going to just run away and leave Ethan. When pulling on him didn’t work, I draped his arm over my shoulder. “Come on!”

Footsteps echoed in the tunnel in front of us, and a ball of light slowly formed and expanded near the ceiling. I managed to get Ethan to his feet, but most of his weight was leaning on me, and he was barely conscious, too hurt even to use his healing magic. We weren’t going to get far like this, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.

I got us turned around and took a couple of steps, but I was bracing myself for the sound of another gunshot—because what else could that coughing sound have been?—and for the pain of a bullet slamming into my back. It didn’t happen, but something worse did. The light spell reached its full intensity, illuminating the tunnel for yards in both directions.

Standing in the middle of the tunnel, blocking my retreat and holding a gun big enough to qualify as a cannon, stood my aunt Grace.