Shadowspell

Chapter Seventeen

My jaw dropped open, and I blinked at him in disbelief. “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

“You heard me. And I did warn you.”

I shook my head, feeling like I’d somehow slipped into a dream. I replayed the Erlking’s words in my head, and they still made no sense.

“You are young,” the Erlking said. “Perhaps too young for the bedroom yet. At least by your modern human standards. In olden days, you might have been an old married woman with a handful of children by now. But I am nothing if not patient. I will give you the freedom to choose when you are ready to fulfill our bargain.”

“And you’ll keep Ethan with you until I do,” I said, still too stunned to fully absorb what was happening.

“No, no,” he responded. “Your pledge will be binding, and unless you plan to live a life of celibacy, you will eventually have to come to me.”

“You can’t be serious.”

I’m not so falsely modest as to claim I’m unattractive or anything, but I’m nothing special, especially when compared to the unearthly beauty of the Fae. When I’d first met Ethan and he’d instantly started flirting with me, I’d known in my heart of hearts that there was something not quite right about it. Some girls really are so beautiful and/or sexy that they have guys falling at their feet right and left, but I’m not one of them. There was no way the Erlking was going to let Ethan go just for the pleasure of getting me into his bed.

“I assure you, I’m quite serious,” he said. “If you won’t ride with my Hunt into the mortal world, then there is only one way you can win Ethan’s freedom.”

I sat there and gaped at him. “I don’t understand. What would you get out of this?”

He quirked an eyebrow at me, and I blushed hotly, right on cue. I’d been so focused on my disbelief I hadn’t fully absorbed the fact that I was sitting here discussing my virginity with a man.

“My apologies,” the Erlking said softly. “I shouldn’t tease you under the circumstances.”

He looked genuinely sorry, but that didn’t make my blush go away. I’d never gotten past first base with a guy. I’m cautious by nature, and not too good at trusting people, so that made intimacy kind of difficult for me. You might even say it made me a prude. The idea of actually doing … it … with the Erlking made me break out in a cold sweat.

“I will not hurt you,” he told me. “I can even make it pleasurable for you, despite any misgivings you might have.”

That made me look up at him sharply. Had Ethan told him about having tried to cast that roofie spell on me?

“I won’t do that without permission,” the Erlking said, and the look in his eyes told me he knew what I was thinking. “If you’d prefer to have your mind completely clear, then I’ll respect your wishes.”

“Why are you doing this?” I found myself whispering, feeling younger and more lost than I could ever remember feeling. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was more to this offer than met the eye. He would be getting something other than a little fun out of it if I agreed. I just had no idea what.

“It’s all a question of what Ethan’s freedom is worth to you,” he said instead of answering my question. “Virginity doesn’t mean as much to the women of today as it did to women of old. Giving it to me would not harm your chances of finding a husband, nor would it cause you to be shunned or otherwise treated as damaged goods. Is it a fate so terrible that it is worth sacrificing the rest of Ethan’s immortal life to avoid it?”

The tears were back, and this time I wasn’t able to stop them from spilling over. I felt trapped, and helpless, and guilty all at the same time. There were plenty of girls my age who’d been having sex for years and thought nothing of it. And yet here I was, scared to agree to the Erlking’s terms even when Ethan’s entire future lay in the balance.

The Erlking reached out and took both my hands. I made a half-hearted attempt to pull away, but as I expected, he didn’t let go. His thumbs stroked over the backs of my hands, his touch surprisingly gentle.

“You’re frightened now because you aren’t ready,” he said. “That’s why I’m leaving it to you to choose the time.” He let go of one of my hands, reaching up to stroke a tear off of my cheek. “When you’re a little older and have had time to accustom yourself to the idea, you might find the prospect of coming to my bed more appealing than you might expect.”

He was smiling at me again, and despite my distress, I couldn’t help noticing the beauty of his deep blue eyes with their frame of long lashes. Yeah, there were probably plenty of girls who’d fall over backward at the chance of getting into his bed. Too bad I wasn’t one of them.

“And if you find I’m wrong,” he continued, “if you find you cannot bear to let me take you, then that choice will always be yours.”

Yeah, if I never wanted to have sex for my entire life! Maybe I wasn’t ready right now, and maybe I was a bit on the prudish side, but that didn’t mean I wanted to stay a virgin forever.

But how could I say no and just abandon Ethan? How could I face Kimber again, knowing I could have saved her brother but was too much of a chicken to do it? And how could I live with myself, knowing that Ethan was taken because of me, and I wouldn’t lift a finger to help him?

I felt like a marionette, dangling on the Erlking’s strings. I knew there was something more to this deal than he was telling me. And I knew that someday I would have to face the consequences of my decision. If the Erlking had demanded I have sex with him right now, I might not have been able to summon the necessary courage, no matter how horrible I would have felt about it. But maybe he was right. Maybe in a couple of years, it wouldn’t seem like such a big deal.

“Throw in Connor, and you have a deal,” I said, even as my insides cringed at what I was promising.

The Erlking looked surprised, like it had never occurred to him I might want to free my brother, too. He let go of my hand, then leaned back in his chair, brow creased in thought. Then he nodded.

“I will release Ethan immediately upon your pledge,” he said. “Then when that pledge is fulfilled, I will release Connor as well.”

I couldn’t find my voice to agree out loud, so I just nodded instead. I was pretty sure I was going to hugely regret this one day, probably very soon.

The Erlking stood, holding out his hands to me. “Then let us seal the bargain.”

I didn’t know what he wanted. I stood, but I didn’t give him my hands, instead watching him warily.

“We’ll seal the bargain with a kiss,” he told me, brushing a strand of my hair away from my face. I started to protest, but he spoke right over me. “The bargain will be enforced by magic, so that neither one of us may break it. You will feel the magic building, but don’t be alarmed.”

I shook my head. “I am not kissing you!” I said.

He raised one shoulder in a shrug. “We could seal the deal with blood, but a kiss will be much more pleasant. For both of us. Besides, how am I to believe you will ever fulfill the bargain if you aren’t willing to part with a single kiss?”

I swallowed hard and tried to tell myself I was being a sissy. A kiss was nothing to be afraid of, even when the one delivering it was a cold-blooded killer. I didn’t say anything, and the Erlking took that as agreement.

“You will feel the magic beginning to gather as soon as I speak the terms of our agreement,” he said. “It will intensify when I kiss you, but it won’t hurt you. It will also make the kiss … quite pleasurable.”

I suppressed a shudder. I didn’t want to enjoy it. “I don’t want you screwing with my head.”

“I won’t. It’s merely a side effect of the magic. If we sealed the deal with blood, it would intensify the pain instead, so you see why I prefer the kiss.” He grinned at me, an almost boyish expression that looked all wrong for his face.

I could tell from the heat in my cheeks that I was blushing again, and I hated it. “Fine. Whatever.” If the magic was only going to intensify what was already there, then I’d just have to make damn sure I didn’t let myself take any pleasure from the Erlking’s kiss.

He bowed his head graciously, amused by my surly answer. “Then I vow that if you will pledge to me your virginity, I will release Ethan from the Wild Hunt this very day and release Connor on the day you fulfill your pledge.”

The magic prickling over my skin made me gasp. It was stronger than anything I’d felt before, and all the little hairs on my arms stood up. I wouldn’t have been completely shocked if the hair on my head was standing on end, too. If it was going to get more intense than this when the Erlking kissed me, I wasn’t sure how I’d live through it. It already felt like I’d stuck my finger in an electric outlet.

“Be warned,” the Erlking continued, “that if you fail to preserve your virginity until you fulfill the pledge, Ethan will join the Hunt once more, and no force in Heaven or on earth will free him again. Do you agree to the terms I have spoken?”

The magic was so thick I could hardly breathe, and my skin crawled with it. I wasn’t sure how I could force words from my mouth, but the Erlking was looking at me expectantly, waiting for my reply. And the faster I replied, the faster this would be over.

“Yes,” I said, not sure my voice was even audible. The magic was now a roar in my ears in addition to a prickling on my skin.

The Erlking’s eyes sparked with triumph, and he slid his huge hand up the back of my neck until he was cradling my head in his palm. He leaned down, and it took every ounce of my will not to break free of his grip and run for my life.

His lips were surprisingly gentle when they touched mine, and I felt a moment of relief, thinking this chaste brush of lips would do the trick. Then the magic speared through me. Suddenly, I no longer felt the prickling on my skin—it seemed to be coming from inside me instead.

I gasped, and the Erlking gasped, too. Then he crushed his lips down on mine and pulled my body against his. I went unresisting into his embrace as the magic tingled in my chest and belly. I opened my mouth, almost begging for the taste of the Erlking’s tongue, and he gave it to me.

He kissed me so hard it almost hurt, and I hadn’t even the faintest thought of resisting him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself against him, feeling the hot, hard evidence that he was ready and eager to fulfill the bargain right this moment. I moaned into his mouth as pleasure zinged from my head to my toes and back again. It was the most glorious thing I’d ever felt, and I wanted more. There was no part of me, mind or body, that remembered I was kissing the bad guy and that I didn’t really want to be doing what I was doing.

The magic reached a crescendo that would have made me scream if the Erlking’s tongue hadn’t been in my mouth. I grabbed a double handful of his hair, holding on to it like it was a lifeline and I was drowning.

Then abruptly, it all stopped.

My knees buckled, and I would have collapsed if the Erlking hadn’t held me up. His lips lingered on mine just a second more before he broke the kiss, his hands on my shoulders steadying me. I felt dizzy and weak, too dazed to remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. I had trouble untangling my fingers from the Erlking’s hair, and I didn’t resist when he guided me over to a chair and sat me down.

My lips felt bruised and swollen from the force of the Erlking’s kiss. He squatted in front of me, looking up into my eyes as he stroked my hair away from my face.

“Are you all right?” he asked, and he sounded like he really cared. “Did I hurt you?”

His pupils were huge and dark, his breaths coming in short gasps. I suspected those tight leather pants of his were still bulging, but despite his obvious enthusiasm, he made no move to take advantage of me.

“I’m fine,” I managed to say, though I wasn’t at all sure it was true.

He squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry I was so rough. That was more intense than even I expected.”

I’m not sure why, but I believed him. Maybe just because he looked so concerned right now.

I was still trying to pull myself together and remember which way was up when Connor entered the room, carrying an unconscious Ethan, and all thoughts of the kiss vanished from my mind.