Red Rain

48

Pavano wasn’t fucking Sari. He was making love to her.

He wondered if she felt the same strong feelings he did. As she moved on top of him, he smoothed his hands over her ass and thought about how different this was. Sex with real feeling and not just sex.

How long had it been?

The last year with Susannah had been all the wrong feelings. After sex, he felt guilty. Sex with Susannah had been an assault. So much anger mixed in, anger that caught him by surprise. It was all too many feelings at once.

I’m a simple guy.

Why was he thinking of Susannah? Damn it, go away, bitch.

He wanted to be in the moment. But it seemed impossible to keep memories out of his mind. He remembered the birthmark on the back of Sari’s knee. And her salty scent. And the way she cooed-like a dove-with each move.

He had been surprised when she agreed to lunch at the New Paradise Cafe in town. And then amazed when she led him back to her little cottage of a house off Noyac Road.

And then it seemed natural to find themselves in her bedroom. And comfortable. Yes. Natural and thrilling and comfortable at the same time.

Pavano shut his eyes and thought how smart he was to come back. How smart. . how smart. . how smart. . Ohhhh, yes. . how smart. Oh God.

When it was over, he reached to throw an arm over her waist. But she sat up quickly, reached down to the floor, and pulled on her red underpants. Her long black hair fell over her face. In the slanting afternoon light from the tiny bedroom window, her skin had a sheen of silvery sweat.

“Sari, come back. What’s your hurry?”

She picked up her bra from the floor and slid it over her breasts, fastening it in back. Then she brushed back her hair with both hands. Her dark eyes locked on him for a moment, then turned away.

“Have to talk to you, Andy.”

He patted the bed. The sheets felt damp and still warm. “Come back here. We can talk.”

“No. I mean, we have to talk.” She pulled on her jeans. Then she dropped into the small red armchair across from the bed. “Remember the other night at that theater?”

Why is she looking at the floor? Is she avoiding my eyes?

“Sure. Of course I remember.”

“Remember I said it didn’t mean anything? When I kissed you? Remember?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Well, today. . this meant something.” She finally raised her eyes. She spread her long fingers over the arms of the chair, then tightened her hands into fists.

“To me too,” he said. He could feel himself getting hard, getting ready again. What the hell? He had time. He wasn’t on duty till six.

“What it meant was good-bye.” Sari was staring hard at him now.

“Huh?”

“I wanted to say good-bye, Andy.”

“But. . we just said hello.”

She shook her head. A smile crossed her face. It seemed so out of place. “Andy, you’re sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“But you’re such a jerk.”

He blinked. He waited for her to continue.

“We had lunch, right? We sat across from each other? We talked. We ate. We even held hands for a few minutes?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So you didn’t see the ring on my finger? You’re supposed to be a cop, Andy. You’re supposed to see everything?”

She waved her left hand in his face. The ring sparkled in the sunlight from the window.

He felt the muscles tighten on the back of his neck.

“I married Rod, see.”

“What the fuck? You married the tennis hat guy? When?”

“Sunday. We got married last Sunday. So I wanted to tell you. You’ve been calling me and following me and trying to bring back the past and-”

“Only because I still have feelings for you.”

Stop sounding like a girl.

“That’s why I wanted to say good-bye.” She stood up and searched for her T-shirt on the floor. “I have nice memories, too, Andy. So now we had another nice memory and a nice good-bye.”

“Jesus, Sari.”

His phone beeped. It took him a moment to remember it was in his uniform pants draped over the bench at the foot of the bed. He heard Chaz’s voice: “Pavano? You there? Got an early call. Pavano?”

Andy lurched to the bottom of the bed and fumbled the phone from the pants pocket. “Chaz? What’s up?”

“Where are you? Got to roll.”

“Uh. . Nowhere. I can meet you.”

Sari, straightening her T-shirt, squinted at him. “Nowhere?”

Pinto gave him an address on Madison Street.

He clicked the phone off and stuffed it back in the pocket. He scrambled out of bed and grabbed up his clothes. “Hey, Sari-it’s been real. Happy marriage. I enjoyed the honeymoon.”