Mark’s hand trembled as he set the phone down on the podium. His whole body tensed. He tried to swallow, but his throat had closed up.
She sounded terrified.
He kept his eyes on the phone.
Call back. Call back. Call back, Lea.
The baby in the front row started to cry. The woman shifted it in her lap and stuck a plastic pacifier in its mouth. The crowd had grown quiet. Maybe they could sense that he was shaken. He found a bottle of water on the shelf inside the podium, twisted it open, and took a long drink.
“Sorry about the interruption.” He stared at the phone. “My wife is on a tiny island off the Carolinas. I think she’s in the hurricane. We were cut off.”
He raised his eyes to the skylight. Waves of rain rolled over the glass. Jo-Ann leaned against the bookshelf on the wall, arms crossed tightly in front of her sweater. Her eyes were closed.
“Where were we?” Mark tried to start again.
They slumped in their seats now. The tension had gone out of the room. It was as if he had absorbed it all. His mouth felt dry. He tasted half-digested cheeseburger in his throat. He took another swig of water to wash it back down, spilled some on his shirt.
Call back. Call back.
“I know what people call me. They say I’m the opposite of the Tiger Mom. They call me the Teddy Bear Dad.”
That got a few snickers. The crowd seemed to relax just a little.
“But I’m not talking about no parenting. My idea is less parenting. The examples in my book show that children can be nurtured without being bossed, guided without realizing they are being guided. My theory is that parents who are friends to their children will be friends for life and will not encounter-”
An explosion of thunder, close enough to rattle the skylight window, ended that thought. The lights flickered. A few people gasped and cried out.
This was a problem of living on Long Island’s East End. The power lines were all strung through the trees. He wondered if Route 114 was flooded. The drive home could be longer than he had hoped.
He was talking without really hearing himself, wishing he could wrap it up, sign their books, go home and try to reach Lea. But they had come with questions and he couldn’t cheat them of a chance to spout their disapproval.
Do you raise your own children this way? Are you always their friend and not their father?
Can you tell us some firsthand examples of parents who tried your way? Didn’t some of the kids become spoiled brats? Total monsters?
You really think kids should be raised like wild animals? Were you raised by wolves?
That question was greeted by laughter. It made Jo-Ann open her eyes and seemed to break the tension. Mark let out a long breath. A good place to end.
He thanked everyone for their opinions and for coming out on such a dreadful night. He could sense disappointment. They had come for the kill, but he was too distracted to do battle. They hadn’t even wounded him.
About half the crowd left, funneling down the creaking stairway without having a book signed. Those who lined up for his autograph were quiet and polite, except for a small, frail-looking woman in a ragged gray trench coat, who glared at him through square spectacles and said, “You could do a lot of harm with this book.” She then asked him to sign the book “To Megan.”
By his count, he sold thirty or forty books. When the last customer, the man in the Yankees gear, made his way to the exit, Jo-Ann patted his shoulder. “Good job, Mark. That wasn’t easy.”
He sighed. “This is my last stop on the tour. Now I’m going to stay home for a while.”
The phone, secured in his jeans pocket, remained a silent hunk of metal and plastic. Scenes of Cape Le Chat Noir rushed through his mind, fragments of photographs Lea had emailed him. He saw the wide yellow beach. Fishing boats bobbing in the calm water offshore. Small, square white cabins with red clay roofs. .
“Your raincoat is in the office. I’ll get it for you.” Jo-Ann made her way to the stairs.
Mark stood up, then froze for a second, surprised to see Autumn lingering near the back row of seats. She had a shiny violet-colored slicker folded over one arm. She smiled and hurried toward the podium.
“I. . didn’t expect to see you here,” Mark said.
She giggled. “I wanted to surprise you.” The blue eyes flashed. The smile suddenly became teasing. “Did I surprise you?”
“Well. . yes.”
She swept her hair back with a quick toss of her head. “You were very brave.” She squeezed his hand.
Just a light squeeze, but it seemed strange to him. Like a rehearsed gesture.
“Brave?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, when I proofread your book, I didn’t really know it was, uh, so controversial. I couldn’t believe tonight. It totally made people angry. But you handled every question. I was-wow-so impressed.”
“Thanks, Autumn. Nice of you to come tonight.” She lived in Hampton Bays with her sister, he knew, nearly an hour’s drive from the bookstore in Easthampton.
He started to the stairwell. “Are you coming to work tomorrow? There’s mail to answer. And a few things. .”
She shifted the raincoat. The white tube top had slid down, revealing the tops of creamy-white breasts. “Mark? Would you maybe. . um. . like to get a coffee? Or a drink?”
She’s flirting with me.
He felt a flash of heat in his cheeks. “N-no. I mean, I really can’t, Autumn. I haven’t been home in so long. And I have to call Lea. We were cut off and. .”
She nodded. He couldn’t read her expression. Her face went blank, revealing nothing, except that the light faded from those deep blue eyes.
She nodded. “Just wanted you to know I’m here for you. You know. If you need anything?” Her pale cheeks turned pink. “See you tomorrow morning.” She spun away, swinging the violet slicker onto her shoulders, and hurried to the stairs.
Mark watched her go. The coltish legs in the black tights. The silver-blond hair disappearing under the shiny rain hood.
She was definitely coming on to me. If I had gone for that drink with her. .
Don’t even think about it.
He tried phoning Lea from the car. Rain pelted the windshield. He let the engine run, waiting for the cold air from the heater to turn warm. The long row of stores were mostly dark. The street was empty.
The call went right to her voice mail. He left a short message. “Call me back. Where are you? Love you.”
Why didn’t she answer? Why did she sound so frantic when she called?
Maybe Roz would know. Maybe Roz had heard from her too.
The wipers set a tense rhythm. He pulled away from the curb and guided the car down Main Street through the torrents of rain. In the mirror, he glimpsed three or four people, huddled under black umbrellas, stepping out of the movie theater across the street. In front of him, the Ralph Lauren store windows were brightly lit. Cruise wear on display.
He made the right onto 114. His tires sent up waves of rainwater on both sides of the car.
Maybe Roz will know what’s up with Lea.
His poor sister. Five years older than Mark, she had shown up on his doorstep nearly a year ago with the one-year-old kid in tow and nowhere to go.
Talk about bad luck with men. Only it wasn’t bad luck. It was poor choices. You didn’t need a psychologist to see Roz had a problem in that area.
Mark could see the black eye she had tried to cover up with makeup. And the nervous tic with her eyes. . that was something new.
“I’m giving up men,” she had said as he and Lea helped carry her bags into the house. “Maybe I’ll try women.”
“What does that mean?” Ira had asked.
“She’s making a joke,” Mark told him.
Her son, Axl, with the bush of curly brown hair and the pudgy cheeks and freckles, started to cry.
“Naming your son Axl is looking for trouble.” Yes, Mark had really said that to her over the phone the day after Axl was born.
Of course, Roz had laughed. She always laughed at Mark when he was too earnest. “If Axl has problems, I’ll send him to you, Doc,” she said.
They had a strange relationship, he thought. She was the older sister but in many ways he played the older brother. Not the older, wiser brother. Her razor-sharp sense of humor would never allow him to be that. She always cut him down to size even when he was helping her.
It worked. They had always been close. Their parents had been so absent, they had to cling together from the time they were little, and that habit stuck. Now here she was with the black eye and the trembling chin, holding back her tears with all her strength.
Her boyfriend, Axl’s father, had left and taken her car and her savings.
Lea said, “The guesthouse in back is empty. Why don’t you live there for a while, Roz, while you’re getting yourself together? Ira and Elena will love having Axl around.”
“Only if I can do something to earn my rent.” From Roz. “You know. If I can help out somehow?”
Which is how she got to be the nanny. And damned good timing, too, since Lea and Mark were traveling so much lately. The kids didn’t take long at all to adjust to little cousin Axl. Now age two, he was so cute and so preposterously curious. How could anyone resist him?
“What that mean?”
“Why?”
“What you doing? Why you doing that?”
It was so interesting to see the little guy’s brain churning away. Ira and Elena didn’t question much. They seemed to accept everything as it was. They had always seemed too into themselves to be explorers.
Roz seemed happy in the little guesthouse with its single bedroom and bath. In fact, Mark had never seen her so consistently cheerful. She had her straight black hair cut short and bought some young-looking clothes.
She found a part-time job doing office work for some real estate lawyers in Sag Harbor. And she proved to be an efficient and loving nanny. The kids quickly learned to laugh at her sarcasm and sharp insults. They ate all their meals together at the long wooden table in the kitchen. One big happy family.
Of course, Mark was wary. He always began to feel wary whenever things began to go right for his sister. He knew that a new boyfriend on the scene could change it all.
He wanted Roz to have a real life of her own. Actually, he felt the house was a little crowded with the two of them always there, and it was harder to spend quiet time with Lea or with Ira and Elena. He didn’t want to keep her there forever as a kind of indentured servant. But he knew Roz needed time to heal before heading off to the next chapter of her life.
All these thoughts while sailing his small BMW through the dark waves of Route 114, squinting through the rain-washed windshield. The rapid smack-smack-smack of the wipers the only sound except for the splash of rain waves off the sides of the car.
No phone. No phone ringing.
Lea, where are you?
And then a sharp turn through the opening in the low brick wall. The crunch of the gravel driveway beneath the tires. Mark eased the car to the side door. Cut the lights. Turned off the engine. Watched the wipers settle down into place.
Then he pulled the raincoat over his head and burst out of the car. To the door on the run. Shoes skidding on the wet gravel.
He reached for the knob but the door swung open. A sliding rectangle of light revealed Roz in jeans and a long, baggy brown sweater. Her eyes were red-rimmed. He smelled alcohol on her breath.
“Oh, Mark.”
“Roz, hi. Have you heard from Lea? Has she called here?”
Roz gazed at him for a long moment. “I don’t think she can,” she said finally, her voice a whisper.