Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Chapter Fourteen

THERE WERE NO ABSENTEES in the gifted class the next day, so Serena had a full group to choose from. "Let's see," Madame said to her. "You've seen Charles, Emily, Ken, and Jenna, so there's Tracey, Martin, Sarah, and Carter to choose from."

Not me, Amanda thought. Somehow she'd have to avoid being with Serena. Who knew what she might reveal under hypnosis?

Madame wasn't giving Serena the choice. "I'd like you to spend some time with Carter, Ms. Hancock."

The student teacher had given up asking her to call her Serena. "Why him?"

Amanda was interested, too. Carter was the one student she didn't know anything about. He never spoke, and she had no idea what his special gift might be.

"We think that Carter has amnesia," Madame explained. "He was discovered a month ago, wandering the streets, by one of our teachers. We've tested him, and he seems very intelligent, but he doesn't speak or communicate in any way. We don't know anything about him."

"Why is he in the gifted class?" Serena wanted to know.

"We thought Carter might profit from being around other special young people," Madame said.

Serena didn't look terribly intrigued, but she had a question. "If he doesn't communicate, how do you know his name?"

"We don't," Madame said. "We named him after the place where he was found-Carter Street, on the west side. I think he might really benefit from hypnosis."

"Oh," Serena said, but she seemed to have lost interest and continued to gaze around the room. "Actually, I'd like to see Emily."

Madame's eyes narrowed. "But you've already worked with Emily," she protested.

"There's more work to be done," Serena insisted.

"But-"

"I do have Principal Jackson's permission," Serena reminded her.

"All right," Madame said, but there was no enthusiasm in her tone. "Emily?"

Emily obediently left the room with Serena. Madame's eyes followed them, and distrust was written all over her face. Amanda turned to look at Jenna. She didn't have to be a mind reader to know that Jenna was wondering about this, too.

Finally, Madame turned and addressed the rest of the class.

"In the past we've talked about the body-and-mind connection. Today we're going to draw on some yoga exercises, which can be helpful in learning how to control your body."

Amanda was pleased. She hoped that by concentrating on her body she wouldn't have to think about what was going on inside her head. She joined the class in pushing the desks and chairs away to clear space on the floor for the yoga exercises. Madame produced some mats and spread them out.

But yoga wasn't like doing the kind of exercises they did in gym class. Holding positions gave Amanda plenty of unwanted time to think.

Mymother is really nice, she thought. And I'm not very nice to her. What's the matter with me? If I ever get hack inside myself I promise I'll he better.

That was all very well, but she'd have to be herself again before she could make good on her promise. And she had no idea when that would happen-if ever.

Where are you, Tracey? she thought. Why won't you come back and reclaim your body? I'm making things better for you. You look a lot better. I've made your parents listen to you. If you keep doing what I'm doing, you won't be a great big nothing anymore.

She didn't really expect any response, so she wasn't surprised when she didn't get one. What was the matter with the stupid girl? No, maybe stupid wasn't the right word. Sad-that was Tracey.

Tracey, stop feeling sad. Get-get angry!

Still no response. Amanda gave up and concentrated on her body. And she had to admit, when class was over, she was more relaxed than she'd felt in ages.

Maybe it showed, because Madame kept looking at her oddly. And when the bell rang, she called out, "Tracey, could I see you for a minute?"

Amanda went to the teacher's desk, but Madame said nothing until all the other students had left the room.

Then she gazed at Amanda with an intensity that made Amanda uncomfortable, Tracey… "Yes, Madame?"

The woman shook her head. "No, you're not Tracey.

Amanda swallowed, hard. "I'm not?"

Madame smiled. "You know you're not."

Amanda bit her lip. Should she put up an argument? Something about the confidence in Madame's expression told her there was no point. "Why-why do you think I'm not Tracey?"

"The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you look… I've had my suspicions for a couple days. Can you tell me if Tracey is all right?"

"I don't know," Amanda said honestly.

"Can you tell me who you really are?"

Amanda gulped. "Do I have to?"

"I can't force you," Madame said. "Can I go now?"

Madame nodded. But as Amanda started out of the room, the teacher touched her shoulder, and she looked back.

"Whoever you are… be good to Tracey, okay? There's more to Tracey than meets the eye."

Amanda had a feeling that she wasn't just talking about Tracey's ability to vanish.

"I'm trying," Amanda said.

When the school day was over, Jenna was waiting for her at the school exit. "What did Madame want?"

"She knows I'm not Tracey," Amanda said glumly.

"Well, you can't blame her. You're not exactly acting like Tracey. Does she know who you really are?"

Amanda glared at her. "No, and you better not tell her."

"My lips are sealed," Jenna said. "Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

Jenna looked uncomfortable. "This is kind of embarrassing, but… when I threw my stuff in my bag yesterday, I forgot something. Something kind of important."

"So you want to go home to get it?"

Jenna made a face. "The thing is… I don't want to go into the apartment if my mother and her friends are still hanging out. Sometimes these parties go on for days. If my mother sees me, she might start crying, and I'll feel awful."

"You want me to get it for you?"

"Would you?" Jenna asked eagerly.

Amanda shrugged. She didn't have anywhere else she had to be.

When they arrived at the door of Jenna's apartment, they could hear music and voices inside. Amanda hesitated. "What am I going to tell your mother?"

"Just say you're picking up something for me."

"But she doesn't know who I am. And she'll want to know why you can't get it yourself. What am I supposed to say?"

Jenna was silent. After a moment, she said, "Maybe you could be invisible."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Jenna, you know Tracey can't control that."

"But you're not Tracey," Jenna countered. "So what?"

"You're so much stronger than she is. I'll bet if you really wanted to be invisible, you could make it happen."

Amanda didn't buy it. "Disappearing is Tracey's gift, not mine."

"But you're controlling Tracey's body," Jenna said. "Maybe you can control her gift."

Amanda still had doubts. "What is it I'm supposed to pick up for you anyway?"

Jenna gave her an abashed grin. "This is the embarrassing part. It's a teddy bear."

Amanda stared at her in disbelief. Then she burst out laughing. "See? I knew you weren't so tough!"

Then Jenna was laughing, too. "Yeah, okay, I know it's goofy, but I've always slept with him. Don't tell anyone, okay? It would be very bad for my reputation."

"No kidding," Amanda chortled. "The juvenile delinquent sleeps with her knife, her gun, and her teddy bear."

They were both giggling so hard now that they couldn't stop. And they must have been pretty loud, because suddenly a voice could be heard from inside the apartment. "Is someone out there?"

Then they heard footsteps approaching the door.

Jenna froze. "It's my mother."

"Hide," Amanda hissed.

Jenna ran into the stairwell. Amanda closed her eyes and concentrated as hard as she could. Help me, Tracey-help me. Help me disappear. She tried to imagine herself fading away.

She heard the door open, and she knew someone was standing there, facing her. Reluctantly, slowly, she opened her eyes.

Jenna's mother looked puzzled. She looked both ways down the hallway, and then she shrugged.

I did it! Amanda thought gleefully She edged past Jenna's mother into the apartment, trying to avoid bumping into people. She had no idea how long she could hang on to this invisibility, so she moved fast, tearing into Jenna's bedroom. The teddy bear was on the bed.

Back out in the hallway, she ran into the stairwell.

Jenna didn't look in her direction, so she knew she must still be invisible. She closed her eyes. I want to come hack, I want to come back. Tracey, let's be real. "You did it!"

Amanda opened her eyes to see Jenna gaping at her in admiration. She thrust the teddy bear into Jenna's arms. "Let's get out of here."

Once they were out of Brookside Towers, Amanda turned to Jenna. "You're going to have to do something about this, you know."

"About what?"

"Your mother, how you're living-all that."

"You can't tell anyone, Amanda. This is even more important than the teddy bear. Do you know what would happen to me if people found out about my mother?"

Amanda could guess. "They'd take you away from her and put you in some kind of foster care."

Jenna nodded.

"There must be someone who can help you," Amanda said. "What about Madame? I get the feeling she really cares about us-I mean, about you guys." She couldn't believe she'd said "us," as if she was actually one of them.

Jenna shook her head. "I can't take the chance. She might feel like she has to tell the authorities." She shook her head ruefully. "Isn't this weird? You, Amanda Beeson-you're the only one who knows about my life. And I actually trust you."

"Yeah, it's pretty weird all right," Amanda replied. "You're the only one who knows my secrets, too. And I've got a favor to ask you. Could you please never try to read my mind without asking me first?"

"Okay," Jenna said.

"Thanks."

After a moment, Jenna said, "Now, you tell me something. Are we friends?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Amanda said. "But… we're not enemies."

Jenna nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Amanda was pleased that Jenna understood. She really couldn't picture herself-as-herself hanging out with Jenna Kelley.

But on the other hand, she might be Tracey Devon for a long, long time. And considering Tracey's general unpopularity, she'd need all the friends she could get.