Once Dead, Twice Shy

CHAPTER 4

Seeing as how it was about twenty years old, Josh's truck was spare in the amenities. It had manual locks, manual windows, a long bench seat, and no air conditioner. It had a monster of a stereo, though, and he had to move a crate of CDs to the middle before I could get in. Hard rock, mostly, and some classic rockers my dad listened to. Wendy would have liked the harder stuff. He hadn't turned the music on, and I was getting nervous from the ongoing silence.

A Harley bell hung from the radio knob, and my guardian angel had parked herself on it with a satisfied hum the moment she followed me in. I swear I'd heard her singing when Josh did a three-point turn and headed us into town, the bell swinging softly.

His gym bag was shoved under the seat, and the narrow space behind the front seat held an expensive-looking fly rod. I couldn't help but wonder why Josh drove an old truck when I knew his dad could afford a lot better.

He was a good driver, silent as we made our way to the bike shop. His curiosity as to how I knew about his dream had gotten me a ride, but now he seemed to be waiting for me to elaborate. I didn't quite know what to say as I sat beside him, and I leaned forward into the sun to look out the front window for black wings. There was only blue sky, which made me feel better. No black wings meant no reapers. The one always followed the other.

"What are you looking at?" Josh asked, and I leaned back.

"Nothing." The old truck bounced as we went over a bridge, and the homes started to shift to businesses. He was waiting for me to say something. Since we only had about five stoplights to go, I sighed. "What do you remember about the prom?" I asked softly.

"That you were a real—" His words cut off, and his neck went red. "Uh."

"I was nasty," I finished for him, wincing. "I'm sorry. I was mad when I found out you'd only asked me to the prom because your dad wanted you to, because my dad was worried about me being new to town and not knowing anyone. I was a class-A bitch."

"No, you weren't," he said, but I could tell he was still mad about it. I remained silent, and he added, "You left with someone I didn't know, and I went home early. That's it."

My fingers played with the weather stripping around the open window as I hesitated, and he slowed as the traffic thickened. "I left with a guy you'd never seen before," I said softly, "but you followed us to make sure I got home okay."

Josh's grip shifted, as if I'd said something he'd never told anyone else.

"That was sweet of you," I said, and he swallowed, making his Adam's apple shift. "I was being stupid. I was mad at the world for my mom shipping me up here. What happened wasn't your fault." I took a slow breath as I found the next words. "He drove right off the road. The car rolled to land right side up at the bottom of a hill." My grip tightened as Josh stopped at a four-way, and I put a hand to my middle. I didn't feel so good.

"He had a sword," Josh said, then crossed the intersection. "In my dream, I mean."

His voice had gone defensive, like he didn't believe it, and I moved my hand to my knee to hide the scrape the boat's carpet had given me. "The crash didn't kill me," I continued, "so he, uh, yeah. He scythed me. I don't remember anything after that until I woke up in the morgue."

Josh made a noise of disbelief. "Nice, Madison," he scoffed. "So now you're dead."

The glow around the Harley bell brightened, and the guardian angel blurted, "Oh my God in heaven, you are dead. Why am I guarding a dead person?"

Ignoring her, I gripped my amulet tight as she buzzed up to look at it. "Oh-h-h-h!" she hissed, her glow almost going out. "Kairos is going to go supernova. Does he know you have his amulet? Where did you get it? Did Chronos give it to you? How did he get it?"

I squinted through her glow at Josh. Crap. This was not going well. She wasn't supposed to know. Ron was going to be ticked. But as long as she was with me, she couldn't leave to blab it around. Josh was shaking his head. I lifted my chin angrily. "Okay then. Tell me what you remember about your dream."

His grip shifted on the wheel, and he turned us into the downtown district. "It's kind of foggy," he hedged. "You know how dreams get when you think about them."

"Well?" I prompted, and he frowned.

"I called 911. In my dream," he said, his neck muscles tight. "They told me to stay on the line, but I didn't. I ran down to see if you were all right. You were alone by the time I got to you, and you just sort of…went to sleep. Stopped breathing."

And I haven't had a real need to start up again since, I thought sourly. "Then what?" I didn't know what happened between my dying and the morgue. Barnabas wouldn't talk about it.

"Uh…" Josh kept his eyes on the road, looking nervous. "The ambulance got there before the cops. They put you in a black zipper bag. The sound of it going up…I'll never forget that." His posture shifted, and he seemed to be almost embarrassed. "The paramedics were really quiet when they lifted you out of the car. It was their job, but they were sad."

"I don't remember that part," I whispered. The guardian angel had gone back to her bell and was silently listening, her glow vanishing as soon as she landed.

"The cops…" Josh paused, pretending to look both ways as he collected himself. "They put me in the backseat, and they drove me to the hospital to get me checked out even though I said I hadn't been in the car. Then your dad was there. He was crying."

Guilt hunched me over. Ron said he had blocked this from my dad's memories, but how could he be sure? This was a nightmare.

"He said it wasn't my fault," Josh said, his voice low. "But I should've taken you home. And then the dream switches. Like nothing happened. I'm home cleaning the mud off my good shoes before my dad yells at me." I looked at him, and he shook his head while he watched the road. "And that's the weird thing, because I remember cleaning my shoes." He looked at his hands, then the road. "It was like it never happened and you were okay. I hate dreams like that."

I wondered how he could dismiss it as a dream, but I could see him trying to figure out where he had gotten mud on his shoes if he hadn't slid down a ravine after me.

"I ruined my dress," I said. "I'm still trying to pay for it."

Josh gave me a sideways look and shifted his grip on the wheel. "It was a dream. I mean, you're here. Alive."

I put my elbow on the open window and reached to touch the top. "Well, I'm here."

A scoffing noise came from him. "You're alive."

I fingered my amulet. "Not really." He stopped behind a gray Corvette, turning to me with a smile quirking his lips, and I said again, "Really, I'm not."

From Josh's Harley bell a tinkling voice said, "There once was a girl who wore Keds, who told everyone she was dead. Till they said she was hazy and labeled her crazy, and put her on all sorts of meds."

My bobbing foot—which was not wearing Keds—hit the bell, and the noise jerked Josh out of his reverie. "You know what?" he said as the Corvette and then his truck started moving again. "Forget I said anything. Man, everyone at school told me you were weird. I said you only needed someone to talk to, but damn, girl. You're whacked if you believe that, and if you don't, then you're really sad to be looking for attention by telling me you're dead."

I could understand why he didn't want to believe, but it still irritated me. "Well, let me fill in the gaps of your dream, okay?" I said tartly, giving up on keeping my angel in the dark. If Ron hadn't wanted her to know I had Kairos's amulet, he shouldn't have left her with me. "Kairos is dark, with a sexy accent that could make the lead singer of a girl band pee her pants. He kissed me. You remember that. I saw you."

"You kissed Kairos?" the guardian angel said, her already high voice going thin and wondrous. "I don't even want to know what you did to get his amulet. Oh. My. God!"

That was insulting, and Josh saw me glare at the bell before he turned back to the road.

"Kairos held the door open for me when I got into his convertible," I continued. "You and Barnabas followed us out. Remember Barnabas? Tall guy with an annoyed expression? Anyway, the top was down." The better to kill you with, my dear.

The guardian angel laughed merrily. "Barnabas messed up your scythe prevention? Is that why he hasn't been working lately? Holy sweet seraph nubs. This gets better by the second!"

Josh was listening now too, and, encouraged, I continued, "The car goes off on the right side of the road," I said, going somber as I remembered it. "It flips twice. The windshield shatters on the first hit. I've got my seat belt on, so I don't get thrown out. It saved my life." I looked down at the belt around me now. Old habits… "When it's done rolling, Kairos is standing next to my door like nothing happened," I whispered, "and his nasty blade goes right through the car and me both. It leaves no blood. Not a mark."

The angel was on my knee, and a feeling of sympathy and warmth stole into me like a sunbeam. I gave her a smile, then looked up, tossing my hair from my eyes. "You left your car running. And you called my name twice as you ran down the hill." I felt sick remembering the fear in his voice. "I'm sorry, Josh. It wasn't your fault."

"Stop," he said. His hands gripped the wheel tight and he was breathing fast.

"He doesn't believe you," the angel said tartly.

"Would you have rather I let you keep believing it was a dream?" I protested.

Josh turned into the bike shop's lot, easing to a stop and putting his truck into park. "You are not dead."

I shrugged as I undid my seat belt. "They seemed to think so at the morgue."

Josh reached across the truck and jabbed a finger at me.

"Ow!" I yelped, drawing back and covering my upper arm as the angel giggled.

He smirked. "You're not dead. It's not funny anymore. Knock it off."

My pulse jumped into play, and I tried to stifle it. "It's the amulet. It gives me the illusion of a body." And my memory of being alive supplies the rest, I thought glumly.

"What amulet?" he asked, and I fished it out, holding it for his inspection. Josh's eyes widened, and I pulled it out of his reach, not wanting him to touch it.

"I swiped it from Kairos when he showed up at the morgue to claim my soul," I said, letting it thump back against me. "As long as I've got it, I'm fairly safe. But, uh, you aren't."

"Oh-h-h-h-h," the angel murmured. "Madison, you are in so much trouble. I'm glad you're dead already. I don't think I could keep you alive if you weren't."

That made me feel tons better, and I scanned the sky for black wings. There was a haze of darker cloud in the distance. Crows?

"God, you're weird," Josh said as he turned off his truck and started to get out, the old metal creaking when he opened his door.

"You don't believe me?" I said, aghast. "After what I told you?" Ron was going to be royally P.O.'ed if I'd blown Josh's new memory for nothing. Not to mention he'd be mad at me for telling my guardian angel about the amulet. What did he expect, though? I was freaking dead. I think she would have figured it out eventually, first-sphere or not.

Josh was smiling as if it was a big joke. "I'll help you with your bike, Mad Madison. Can you get home from here?"

I stared at his empty seat when he got out, steaming from the nickname. I hated it. Hated it passionately. The first time I'd been sent to the principal's office it had been because I'd shoved a girl down for singing it. I'd been six, and it took most of my elementary school career to live it down.

My eyes closed in a long blink so I could find my temper, and I followed him. "Josh!" I exclaimed as I met him in back. "I'm not making this up. You know that's what happened! You were there!"

"It was a dream," he said as he put the tailgate down.

Frustrated, I put a fist on my hip. He didn't want it to be real, because if it was, he'd feel like it was his fault, like he should have insisted he take me home. "A dream that you keep having and I know all about?" I prompted, stepping back as the bike scraped across the liner.

"Sure," he said around a grunt as he lifted it free. "My mom would say it means I have a psychological hang-up about you. I'll get over it."

"You'll get dead!" I exclaimed, then lowered my voice as cars passed us not ten feet away. "Reapers can't find me, but they can find you."

"These are the guys with the scythes, right?" he asked, laughing.

I took my bike as he rolled it between us. "Josh, you were there the night I crashed. Kairos has seen you. He's looking for me, and he's going to use you to do it. The only reason you're safe right now is because you're with me."

He smiled, squinting in the sun. "A regular Wonder Woman, are you?"

"Stop laughing at me!" I said, imagining what was going to happen when school started back up. He and his friends were going to have a good laugh over this. If he survived. "It's the amulet that protects you, not me!" I couldn't tell him about my guardian angel. Not yet. He'd laugh his butt off.

His eyes flicked to the stone resting against my lower neck, and his amusement dimmed.

A black shadow ran over the parking lot and sent a spike of fear through me. I looked up to see a black wing. It kept moving, but there were three more across the street. This was so not good. In the ten seconds he'd been away from me, they'd gotten a whiff of him. "Just stay with me until Barnabas gets back, okay?"

"Barnabas?" he questioned, then shoved his tailgate up. "That's the guy from the prom."

"Yes." Wings, amulet, can't miss him.

His face was thoughtful as he took my bike from me and pushed it toward the shop.

"Look," I said, thinking he was starting to believe. "Do you see those things?"

I pointed to the slime-coated sheets of black slumped atop the post office's roof, and his smile quirked again. "The crows, Madison?"

I put a hand on my bike and stopped him from taking it inside. "They only look like crows, and I think the fact that you can see them at all means you've been marked." Susan had seen them yesterday too, from the boat. "They're called black wings. Reapers can use them to zero in on their victims. If you get too far from me, death is going to be knocking on your door." And where the devil is my guardian angel? I thought, suddenly realizing she was absent.

"Reapers," he said, chuckling, and I yanked the bike to a stop when he pushed it forward.

"Kairos knows your aura resonance. He can find you. Listen to me."

I wouldn't let him move the bike, and he suddenly shoved it back at me. "You are one weird chick, Madison."

"Josh, I'm serious!"

He didn't even turn around as he opened his truck door, saying over his shoulder, "What you are is seriously messed up. Don't talk to me, okay?"

A noise of frustration escaped me as he cranked his music and backed his truck up. His neck was red as he put it in gear, and after hesitating at the top of the entrance, he gunned the engine, tires spinning as he jerked his truck onto the road before traffic could trap him here with me.

"Idiot!" I exclaimed, then stiffened when, like lions scenting blood, all the black wings in sight lifted and turned. "Oh-h-h-h-h, crap," I whispered, spotting Josh sitting at a light half a block away. "Josh!" I shouted, but he couldn't hear me over his music.

The light changed, and he accelerated, clearly angry, by the way he was driving. My hand went to my mouth when a familiar black convertible appeared out of nowhere. It was Kairos. It had to be. And he was heading right for Josh.

A loud bang shook me, and a ball of electrical light flashed at the top of a pole. In a slow, majestic swoop, the traffic light swung to the pavement, the wire severed at the pole. Josh was right at the bottom of the arc.

"Josh!" I cried out, but he couldn't have heard me. He saw the light, though, and he slammed on the brakes, tires squealing as he swerved. Jumping the curb, he slid sideways into an ice-cream store's parking lot. Dust whirled up as he rocked to a halt. Behind him, the black convertible hit the falling traffic light in a spectacular bang of electricity, plastic, and metal. It was right where Josh would have been.

I dumped the bike and started running. A tall figure in black got out of the convertible, dressed formally, with luscious wavy black hair shining in the sun. I remembered his dusky skin, the scent of dead salt water on him. And his blue-gray eyes, looking distant and yet like they could see right through me. It was Kairos. My pace faltered at the stopped traffic. People were getting out of their cars.

The thump of Josh's truck door spiked adrenaline in me. "Hey, man! Are you okay?" he shouted as he jogged to Kairos.

"Josh," I whispered, too afraid to say it louder for fear Kairos would see me. Had Kairos made the traffic light fall to kill Josh, or had the light falling been a happy accident that saved him?

I ducked as a black wing swooped overhead, and my breath hissed in. Josh skidded to a halt in the middle of the road in front of Kairos. His face was pale, and he looked up as if he finally saw the dripping sheets of circling black for the first time. People were in my way, and I couldn't get to him. "Don't let him touch you!" I shouted, but it was too late.

My feet turned to clay as Kairos reached a thin hand out and gripped Josh's upper arm. The elegant man pulled him close, and it was as if I was watching my own death, reliving it. There was no scythe, but it wouldn't be hard to hide it, they were so close.

And then Josh jerked out of his reach. Stumbling, he warded Kairos off, continuing to put space between them as he backed away. He ducked as a black shape no one but the three of us could see dove at him.

Darting around the black convertible, I reached out and grabbed Josh's arm.

"Hey!" he shouted, pulling out of my grip; then he recognized me. His glasses were askew, and his blue eyes had fear in them, fear that he finally believed me and fear that death was standing in the intersection—looking at us.

Terror seized my muscles. People were between us and Kairos, asking him if he was okay. Someone jostled me, and, startled, I tugged Josh backward, my eyes never leaving Kairos. He had wanted me dead even before I stole his amulet. Why? "Come on," I said, pulling Josh into the press of people. "Get in your truck!"

I jumped when my guardian angel's laughter tinkled nearby. "There once was a boy full of class," the light sang, "who always skipped his Sunday mass. He almost hit death, but missed Kairos Seth. He'll never know who saved his ass."

"Get in the truck!" I shouted, tugging at Josh, who was still staring at Kairos. I didn't think the black wings could see us now because my guardian angel was back. She was probably the one who had made the light fall, causing Josh to swerve out of the way and Kairos to crash, thereby attracting enough attention so that the dark timekeeper couldn't easily kill him.

"It's him," Josh said, pale as he fixed his glasses back on his nose. "He asked about you," he added, and I pushed him through the rubbernecking crowd to his truck, his music still blaring and adding to the confusion.

"Wow, big surprise," I muttered. I could hear a siren, and I sent a grateful look in the direction of my guardian angel. She'd stopped Kairos in such a way that Josh had been a bystander. Not a scratch on his car nor a reason for us to stick around. Kairos, though, would have a hard time leaving, buying us more time to get away. She was good. No, she was great!

The hot sun was bouncing up from the ice-cream store's parking lot when I yanked Josh's truck door open. "Don't Fear the Reaper" was blasting out, and I slid across the seat and pulled Josh in after me. My guardian angel was singing, her tinkling voice adding to the travesty.

"The truck moves, right?" I said, and Josh took a deep breath. Hands shaking, he put the truck, still running, in gear. Carefully edging back into the street, he accelerated. Every second put more space between Josh and Kairos, between Kairos and me.

Josh turned his music off, much to the guardian angel's disappointment. His gaze was behind us more than in front. In a flurry of panicked motion, he put his seat belt on.

"Are you okay?" I asked, then leaned in to look at his speedometer. I'd never seen someone as white as he was now. Maybe I should have been driving.

He licked his lips. "That was him. He asked for you by name."

My chest hurt, and I took a deep breath to explain. "At least he didn't kill you. Hey, can you slow down? There are other people here."

"He might follow us," he said. I put a comforting hand on his arm, but it made him jump.

"He can't track you by your aura because of my amulet—as long as you are close to me, you're safe."

From the bell came a voice chiming, "It's the angel, baby, not your amulet."

"Yeah," I shot back, "but he won't believe that."

Crap. I closed my mouth and cringed. Josh slowed down as a cop car raced past us, heading for the accident. Pulling to the curb, he turned to me. "Who are you talking to? Please, please, please don't tell me it's dead people."

My head started to hurt. I was really stupid sometimes. "Uh, my, uh, guardian angel," I said hesitantly. "She's, uh, on your Harley bell."

"Guardian angel?"

I gave him a sickly smile. "She's a Guardian, Reaper-Augmented Cherub, Extinction Security, one-seventy-six. Or G.R.A.C.E.S. one-seventy-six for short." I couldn't call her that. Grace, though, maybe.

Josh began to protest, and Grace made the bell ping. Josh stared at it, white-faced. "Madison?" he said softly.

"Yes?"

"You're dead?"

I nodded. "Yup."

He swallowed, both hands on the wheel as he looked up through the strip of blue-tinted glass to the sky. "And those aren't crows?"

Wincing, I noted the black wings were at the horizon again, circling. "No," I said, and Josh let his forehead hit the steering wheel with a soft thump.

"But you're okay?" he said to his knees.

"Because I have my amulet," I said, holding it. "You're okay because Ron left me with a guardian angel while he tries to convince the seraphs to let me keep it." Twisting, I turned to look behind us. "Kairos knows your aura resonance from the prom, but he can't see it if you're with me. But maybe we should, uh, get moving again."

Not saying a word, Josh checked behind him and put the truck back in gear. We headed through town by way of the side roads. "Uh," I said uncertainly, "you want to come over to my house for a sandwich?"

"S-sure."

I licked my lips, not liking his shell-shocked expression as he made a left to get on the interstate and take the long way to the other side of town. I knew how it felt to have death touch you, realizing you'd be dead but for the whim of something that really didn't care one way or the other.

"I'm sorry you got involved," I said, remembering Josh's voice when he slid down the slope that night, trying to reach me even as Kairos cut my thread of life. "You were there. It wasn't a dream. But I want to thank you. Because of you, I didn't die alone."