Once Dead, Twice Shy

CHAPTER 9

The people around me turned from beautiful representations of life to annoying obstacles, and I dodged through them trying to phone Josh and scan the skies at the same time. "Must be still running," I muttered when I got no answer, and I shoved my phone into a back pocket. I made better progress that way, but the occasional hail from some of the same people I'd taken pictures of earlier slowed me down as I begged off taking any new ones.

The sun was hot, but being dead had its advantages, and I wasn't even sweating when I finally got back to the track. Heat had pushed almost all the watchers to the nearby shade, and I spotted Josh quickly. He was running just as when I'd left him, looking strong and ready to go another lap or two. Relief unclenched my jaw, but it tightened again when I scanned the line of trees. Black wings. At least six.

"Crap," I whispered, climbing up onto the chain-link fence between the bleachers and the track to try to get Josh's attention. The black wings were distant, but they were there. It was as if they were confused. Finally Josh spotted me, and I frantically waved.

Immediately he gestured for a runner to come out to take his place and slowed to a walk. Breathing heavily, he caught the bottled water someone threw at him and headed my way.

"That's sixteen laps total!" a thick-looking man called, squinting from under a clip-on umbrella. "Good job, Josh. Are you coming to the Low D with the rest of the track team? Pizza's on me."

Josh searched my concerned expression, then waved him off. "No, thanks!" he called. "I gotta go." And the man went back to his clipboard. From the sidelines, Amy frowned, watching us with a hand on a hip. Beside her was a blond girl dressed exactly like her.

"What's up?" Josh said as I opened the latch to the gate and he came through. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Very funny. Ha-ha," I said, tugging him toward the parking lot. If Kairos was around, this was not the place to meet him. "Look at this," I said, handing him his picture.

A smile came over his face. "Look at the sweat on me! Is that Grace?"

From above us came a tiny giggle, and I glanced up, to be blinded by the sun. Blinking, I stumbled over to the pile of bags. "Check out the horizon," I suggested as my sight cleared, "not how good you look."

"Black wings?" he said.

"They're not crows," I said, ducking when Grace hovered close to the photo to see.

"It's not my fault," Grace said as Josh started to shove stuff into his bag. "I've been with him all day," she protested. "See, that's me in the photograph. And besides, they haven't gotten any closer. Much."

Josh zipped up his gym bag and straightened, shooting nervous glances at the tree line and the waiting black wings. "You knew they were there?" I questioned her, and the glow of her light brightened.

"Well, yeah. They've been there all along." Grace's tinkling voice sounded sarcastic. "Slowly circling in. It's as if a reaper is about, but not sure where they're going."

I looked at Josh, afraid and almost guilty. What was I doing enjoying myself, hiding among my neighbors like an ostrich? I should be in a back alley facing down this creep. The fact that Grace thought going invisible was dangerous shouldn't have stopped me.

"We gotta go," I said, and after glancing at his teammates, Josh nodded. His face was pale, and together we headed for the exit. "Grace, if you try to stop us, I swear I'm going to take your name away."

She was silent, and tension wound its way through my gut, worsening when we found the midway and the slowly milling people. We had to go past the bandstand to reach the parking lot, and it had gotten crowded as everyone was congregating to hear the totals. The middle school band was trying to organize, and between the parents waving for their kids' attention and the officials bringing in the last numbers, getting through the crowd was impossible.

There can't be this many people in all of Three Rivers, I thought sourly, then jerked to a halt to avoid running into a stroller when Josh caught my elbow. There was no way to get through this fast. Giving him a mirthless smile, I slowed down.

"Maybe the black wings can't find us among everyone," Josh said.

I nodded. "Maybe," I said, remembering the people whose lives I had stolen today. I'd never considered I might endanger them simply by walking among them, but I probably had. "I'm thinking Kairos is looking for us with his eyes, since he can't track our auras."

From above, Grace said, "It's not Kairos, and reapers don't hunt people with their eyes. It takes too long and they make mistakes. You all look alike to them, especially to dark reapers."

"It is Kairos, and I don't think he cares if he makes a mistake," I protested. "All bets are off, Grace. He wants his amulet back, and he doesn't want anyone else to know he's lost it."

Josh's lips pressed together, and he angled for an opening in the crowd. "I can only hear half this conversation," he complained. "Maybe someone else is getting scythed," he suggested.

"They've been hanging on the horizon for hours," Grace said as we worked around the last of the watchers. "It would have happened by now and the black wings would be gone."

"Grace says if it was a normal scythe, it would have happened by now," I said for Josh's benefit. "I still think it's Kairos looking for us."

We dodged around a last group of people. Finally the way was clear. Leaving the band to start up an enthusiastic version of "Louie, Louie," we jogged to the parking lot, loaded down with our stuff. I relaxed somewhat when we reached it with its tired yellow balloons hanging from sticks marking the borders. Hesitating like a deer at the edge of the woods, I looked up and down the rows. Where had Josh parked?

"There," Josh said, pointing to the shade tree as if having read my mind, and we broke into a fast pace, hearing the cheer when the band stopped and Ms. Cartwright's voice come over the loudspeaker to thank everyone for coming. I sighed when the back of his truck became visible from around a big-butt van. But my relief turned to irritation when I noticed who was waiting for us.

"How did they get here before us?" I said. Amy was in the truck's bed, elbows on the top of the cab, trying to look sexy in her running shorts. That white bandage across her nose killed the effect. Parker stood by the tailgate, shuffling uneasily, and Len was leaning against the front door with his arms crossed, as if he wanted to start some trouble. My hands fisted. I didn't have time for this.

"Holy sweet seraph nubs," Grace muttered. "This has not been my day."

From the truck bed, Amy called out, "Hi, Madison, sweetie."

It was mocking, and the skin around Josh's mouth was tight as he fished out his keys from his gym bag. "Get off my truck," he said shortly.

Amy opened her mouth again, and I blurted, "Hi, Amy. What did you do to your nose?"

Turning pink in embarrassment, she said coyly, "Is that a new outfit? You're as cute as my little sister in those tights."

The way she said it made it sound like I was three, and I fumed, thinking I might make a hundred copies of the shot with her mouth open catching flies and her nose swollen and blue—then post them in the high school's halls.

Len hadn't moved, and Josh stepped closer. "Why don't you grow up?" he said tightly.

Seeing the picture in Josh's grip, Len leaned forward. "Let me see," he said, grabbing it, and Amy snatched it in turn.

"Oh, isn't that precious?" she mocked. "How many did you take of him, sweetie?"

My lips pressed together, but a soft rustle of leaves drew my attention up to see a black wing ghost overhead and move on. Eyes wide, I felt the whisper of my heart start up. Not here. Not now!

Amy must have thought I was afraid of her, because she jumped from the truck and sashayed closer. "The team's going to the Low D, Josh," she said. "Everyone will be there. You're coming, right?"

Her unspoken "you, but not her" was obvious, making me angry. Josh took the photo back and reached beyond Len for the truck's handle. He opened it with a yank hard enough to send Len stumbling forward. "No," he said as he tucked the photo on the dash and shoved his bag under the seat. "Why don't you go take a shower, Amy? You're sweating like a pig."

Her mouth dropped open, and I snickered loud enough for her to hear.

Len had tried to make his lurch look like it was planned, but he had lost face and he knew it. Even his laugh didn't help. "Come on," he said as he put his hands in his pockets and started to move away. "I'm not wasting any more time here. Let's go. Parker?"

Amy draped an arm over Parker's shoulders to lead him away. He looked like he wanted to say something, but all he did was shrug when Josh met his eyes. Josh shrugged back.

I tried to get my heart stopped as Amy and Parker walked between Josh and me, and I forced my hands to unclench. They were three cars away when Amy called out to someone else, and they angled that way. In the distance, the band started up again, loud and enthusiastic.

Josh looked pissed. His neck was red as he got into the truck and started the engine.

Anxious to be away, I turned to go around the back of the truck, jerking to a halt when a lithe shape dropped out of the tree and into my way. My breath hissed in. Nakita.

"You?" I stammered, trying to realign my thoughts. But it made sense. Nakita was the only dark reaper who would be able to recognize me by sight—and since she knew I had Kairos's amulet, Kairos had nothing to lose by sending her after me.

"I told you it was a reaper!" Grace shrilled. "Get out of here, Madison!"

Nakita took a step forward, eyeing the angel. Her smile deepened. "I think Ron wants your soul destroyed. He left a first-sphere to watch you? She's not capable of stopping me."

I stumbled back. "Josh! It's a reaper!" I shouted, and I heard his truck creak as he got out.

With a soft, confident smile, Nakita took off her sunglasses and threw them aside. She was wearing long pants and a skintight top, all white. A gold belt hung about her hips, and she sported a white, luminescent duster, its hem dragging on the matted grass. The gem on her drawn blade glinted a rich, violet hue, matching the amulet around her neck. Death was walking—looking for me. "Hello, Madison," she said, naming me as she tossed her long black hair back. "You're a hard soul to find."

I backed up, gripping my camera like it might help me. Crap, where was Barnabas when I needed him? I could not claim Nakita's amulet because she was a reaper—how was I supposed to do this? I had to figure out a way to take it from her. But how? I had to do it fast.

Josh was suddenly beside me, looking scared but determined. Grace hovered over us. I heard a rustle from the tree—black wings. "Do it!" Josh whispered intently.

I might as well try and see what happened. If I didn't, Josh was dead. I had nothing to lose. Handing him my camera, I took a deep breath to bring the mental image of my amulet into my mind and wiped every line I could see that was connecting me to the present. I staggered, almost falling from the dizzying sensation of going insubstantial. Grace was abruptly visible, and Josh was backing slowly away. In my grip was my amulet, but it felt like I didn't really have it. Grace was looking right at me, her expression scared. A little voice in me was saying that something wasn't right, but I didn't have the time to think about it, and I reached for Nakita's amulet.

"Madison, no!" Grace shouted, but it was too late.

"Hey!" I yelped when Nakita casually snatched my wrist with her free hand. "You're not supposed to be able to see me," I said stupidly, shocked as I looked up at her.

Josh was white-faced, clearly seeing me as well. I didn't understand! I could see my amulet in my mind's eye, the threads being cut as they shifted from future to present, but I was visible!

Her full lips curved up in a smile, and Nakita jerked me closer, wrapping her arm around my neck and pinning my back to her. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but stop drawing on my amulet, you little succubus!"

Her amulet? I thought, then realized what had happened. Just as when I'd been dead in the morgue and Barnabas's amulet had tied me to the present, so was Nakita's now. Dumb, dumb, dumb! I berated myself. I might be able to see Grace, but I wasn't entirely invisible. Damn it!

Immediately I stopped destroying the threads, and Grace became a hazy ball of light. Nakita still had me, and I tried to get out from her hold, to no avail.

"Let her go!" Josh shouted as he jumped at us.

God, no!

Nakita ducked back out of Josh's swing, yanking me off balance. Before I could gain my footing, she kicked out, hitting him in his solar plexus. Josh flew back, an ugly noise escaping him as he fell to his knees beside my abandoned camera and tried to breathe. His eyes were wide, and sweat plastered his hair to his face. Nakita was a lot stronger than she looked.

"Okay. You got me. Leave him alone," I said breathlessly as I eyed first her sword, then her amulet, inches from me.

"Kairos wants to see you," she said, her pale blue eyes looking cold. "Apparently there is a small matter about bringing your soul and body and my scythe together."

Crap, I thought, trying to twist away. This was so not good. "Promise me you'll leave Josh alone," I said, reaching up past her arm at my throat until my fingertips brushed the cool stone about her neck. Nothing happened. If I could touch it, I could take it. As long as I didn't claim it, I'd be okay. She smiled and shifted me away so that my fingertips slipped off.

"Your friend dies first," she said. "Kairos is two days older than he was last week, and he's cranky."

They got me, and she's going to scythe Josh anyway? I thought. Then I gasped again when Nakita shoved me and I went flying forward, arms and legs flailing. I hit the ground hard beside Josh. My gaze moved to the trees, and I reached to help Josh up, terrified at the dripping black sheets I saw. Black wings were flying through the branches and circling the tree. They could strip my soul and destroy me utterly. What was bringing them in? Both my amulet and Grace were hiding our auras! Weren't they?

I looked up to see Nakita grinning, showing her perfect teeth. The sharp edge of her blade glinted, and when she lunged for Josh, I rolled, slamming into her legs. Shrieking, she fell on me. I scrambled to get her amulet, and she shoved me off, spinning to stand.

"Madison, get the blazes out of the way!" Grace cried.

Josh groaned. I found my feet, looking for him. He was on his back, staring upward. Nakita's blade was bared and gleaming in a shaft of light.

"Josh!" I shouted, and I almost cried in relief when he moved to roll over and get his arms under himself. He wasn't dead. But he's hurt. Did she cut him?

Nakita suddenly frowned, clearly not happy. A black wing flew between Josh and me, and my fear grew so heady I could almost taste it. They were getting bolder. I couldn't let them touch him. Grace dropped down. I tensed when she met one, and it vanished in a sparkle of sideways light. I would have cheered, but another took its place.

"Kairos told me how you stole his amulet," Nakita said, and my attention rose to her as she stood by the truck with her blade bared. "That was a mistake. It's not only going to end your life but destroy your soul. The boy is done for. Time to go."

Seeing Nakita smile as the slight breeze shifted her long hair, I felt my fear turn to anger: anger that she thought I'd go meekly to my end, anger that she had hurt Josh, anger that she was stronger than me, and anger that everything I'd learned yesterday meant nothing. "I'd like to see you try to take me," I said, falling into a half crouch.

Nakita laughed, her voice setting the last black wings into the air. "You don't have a choice. It's fate," she said, the happy band music in the background a stark contrast to her threats. "You're not supposed to have that stone. You're supposed to be dead. And with you gone, we can all go back to the way things were. The way they have been for millennia."

"Except I'll be dead," I said, and she shrugged.

"You can always just give me the stone right now," she said, slim hand extended.

"Don't think so," I said, and her eyes narrowed.

Grace dropped down beside me, and I waved her away. "Stay with Josh!" I demanded.

"The black wings aren't after him," she protested. "They're after you! Madison, don't go invisible anymore. You're cracking your amulet. It's breaking. I told you it was dangerous. It's only Nakita's amulet keeping them off you now."

It's only Nakita's amulet that's keeping me from going misty and this lame plan of mine from working, I thought, then hesitated. If her amulet was tying me to the present, then why couldn't I sever my ties to Nakita's amulet as well as my own?

"Madison, don't!" Grace said, as if knowing what I was going to do.

"Stay with Josh," I insisted, and her glow redoubled in frustration.

Nakita came at me and I backpedaled, scrambling for the time and space to figure out how to disconnect myself from her amulet. I couldn't feel a connection, but it had to be there. And I couldn't fight her and find it at the same time.

I looked to Josh kneeling on the ground with his head bowed. I thought of my dad and how I wanted to see him again. I thought of the people living their lives, moment by beautiful moment, captured by my camera, ignorant of the gift they'd been given. I wasn't ready to leave. I had to find a way to make this work, to make a stronger connection between Nakita's amulet and myself so that I could break it—and I had to do it without claiming the deadly thing.

Closing my eyes and praying I wasn't making a mistake, I let her touch me.

I stiffened when her hand pinched my shoulder. Willing myself into my unconscious, I let the existence of my amulet fill my mental sight. Beside it was another, much weaker presence. Nakita's amulet held far fewer threads to me, but as I watched, the number grew, making me more solid, more real. More dead, I thought, trying to cut the lines between us, and only succeeding in wiping out the lines from me to my amulet.

Nakita felt it and jerked, but her hand was still on me and I wasn't invisible. I couldn't cut the lines from her amulet to me without taking control of it, and I couldn't take control of it unless I claimed it. Do that, and I'd be blown to dust. But her sword, I thought suddenly. It was made from her amulet. A direct connection to it. Maybe if I worked through that…

Nakita's sound of surprise pulled my eyes open. Grace was above Josh, bathing him in a haze of light. She was beautiful and savage, a harsh beauty that hurt to look at. And she was crying. Crying for me. I tried to tell her it would be okay, but I couldn't think of the words.

Something fell on me, sending me staggering. I would have fallen if not for Nakita holding me up. I met her eyes, and they widened. Her lips opened, and horror crossed her face.

Unexpected and overwhelming pain jerked me stiff. I fell to a knee when Nakita shoved me away. In sudden terror, I realized what it was. A black wing. A black wing had found me.

Cold so deep it felt like fire pushed from my spine and into my mind. I gasped, unable to scream. It wasn't death. It was the sensation of never having existed, of never being. The black wing was taking my memories and leaving emptiness in its place. It was destroying me, stripping my past away, moment by moment.

Instinct pushed me backward to the earth. Frantic with pain, I tried to scrape the black wing off, writhing. I reached to pull it free, but the cold sheet hung like a second, sucking skin. It was eating my soul, burning where I touched it with my hands!

I got to my feet, agony in every move. I stood, staggering as another fell on me. Shocked, I could do nothing. The pain had shifted me back to being visible—I couldn't even see my amulet, much less the lines of connection—and, wobbling, I looked at Nakita.

I had failed. I'd made a mistake, and I was going to die. Clever, beautiful Nakita had gained my end and the stone with no trouble at all. If I did nothing, I was going to be eaten out of existence. I should be happy. I'd had an extra summer of life. But it wasn't enough, and I refused my end even as I saw it. All I needed was her damned sword. It connected directly with her amulet, and through it, I was sure I could sever the ties it was making to me.

"You may be a dark reaper," I said as my limbs seemed to go numb, "but you don't know crap about human determination."

She blinked, eyes wide and confused. Gritting my teeth, I went for her.

Two years of practice kicked in, and I planted my left foot on the ground beside her right, then spun to stand sideways next to her, my right elbow swinging with all my momentum toward her middle. I hit Nakita's gut hard. She bent forward, muscles seizing.

Her blade hung slack, and I grabbed it above her fingers. It was mine and hers both. In my mind's eye, I could see our two amulets and all the lines holding me to the now.

Realizing I was trying to take it, Nakita put her hand above mine that was gripping her sword. We both held it. I had to go misty. The sword would come with me if I did. But I hurt.

If I couldn't do this, Josh would die. I wouldn't let him die just because I was afraid of pain. The decision was easy.

My hand ached under the angel's grip. I gave in to the pain. I let it wash through me and away, leaving me scoured clean of everything but my will. Euphoria rose, a false high as my mind tried to protect itself. Exhilarated and powerful, I exhaled, blowing on the ties connecting me to the present—and with the breath of my will, all of them shriveled like silk threads in flame. Her sword was mine.

"No!" Nakita shouted, pulling back as she felt her blade go invisible with me. I was the mist, and she couldn't hold me, but she lunged as if she could. Instinct brought my hand up, and the reaper passed right through me, her amulet blazing like a violet flame.

Nakita's face went wonder-struck, and her mouth opened in a silent scream. It was as if time slowed, and I held my breath so as not to breathe her in. I started to crumple, feeling her cold anger, tasting her frustration, seeing in my mind Kairos standing on a black tile floor in the sun and telling her I was a threat to seraph will and sending her secretly after me. For an instant, I was her. I was Nakita—and she was me.

The black wings attached to me felt her too. And they found something better to eat than my paltry seventeen years of memory.

Nakita screamed in agony as the black wings let go of me and cleaved to her instead. Pain lifted from me as they parted from my soul, embedding themselves inside the reaper as she passed through me.

I hit the ground, and the shock broke my mental hold on the amulets. Lines burst into existence, two stones tying me to the present. I was again solid. Nakita stood above me, stiff with pain. In my hand was not her sword, but her amulet. By taking one, I'd taken both.

Her voice pitched high in agony, Nakita dropped to kneel upon the ground. Her white wings shimmered into existence, stretching to the high branches. I scuttled backward to Josh, frightened. Josh looked up, one hand to his middle as he watched, shaking as Grace again became a glowing ball of light above us.

A third piercing scream came from Nakita. It didn't sound human, and fear iced my veins. She had black wings inside her. I stared, horrified, as I realized what I'd done. But I hadn't known. I hadn't known!

Her wings and back arched again in what must have been horrible pain, and her wail cut off with a frightening suddenness as, with a downward thrust of wings, she vanished. Dirt and grass clippings flew, and I cowered.

"Madison," Grace said, her terrified voice clear over the noise of the middle school band. "Get in the truck. Get Josh and get in the truck."

Nakita was gone, but the black wings were still swarming. There were hundreds of them. I was solid, and Grace was with us, but they were not dissipating. "Josh," I panted, feeling weary and insubstantial. Stumbling, I helped him up, Nakita's amulet wrapped around my wrist. Lurching, I snagged my camera, forgotten on the ground. The truck door was open, and I shoved him in, making him slide across to the passenger side. It was still running, and I thanked God for small favors.

"Is Josh okay?" I panted as I slammed the door shut. The hard gearshift felt like it was going right through to my bones. "Did she hit him?"

"It wasn't a clean strike," Grace said. "I would have stopped her entirely, but you got in the way. His soul is hanging by a thread. Get out of here. I can't stop a concentrated effort if they attack together. I'm hiding you, but two got a taste of you, and the others sense that. Don't go invisible again. Madison, don't go invisible! You're cracking your amulet a little more every time you do."

I was shaking as I backed the truck up and then put it into forward gear. Josh was slumped against the passenger door. Don't go invisible. Grace had said that before. That it drew the black wings in. But I hadn't had a choice.

"Josh?" I said as we found the pavement and I slowed to an infuriating crawl to avoid the people just now starting to abandon the park. "Josh, talk to me." I looked behind me, but it was as if no one had heard Nakita scream. No one had seen a winged angel arched in pain in a terrible beauty under the trees.

I reached to shake him, and he groaned. "Hospital," he whispered. "Madison, I feel like I'm dying. Get me there. Please."

Fear struck me. I jostled out onto the main road, and then I floored it. Horns blew, and I turned the hazard lights on, for what good they would do.

When my dad found out about this, he was going to kill me. Again.