Once Dead, Twice Shy

CHAPTER 13

It was noisy, the sound of first-day excitement punctuated by the occasional slamming locker. The teachers weren't even trying to keep a lid on it. Three Rivers was a small community, and they didn't have to stand in the hallway between classes like they did at my old school, which was too crowded to let the student body go without supervision. Yet another advantage to small-town life.

I shoved my books into my locker and pulled out my class schedule. It said senior across the top, and I couldn't help my smile. Senior. That was a good feeling. Even better, I wasn't the new girl anymore. Nope. I'd been ousted from that stellar position.

"What does domestic economic studies entail?" Nakita asked slowly as she squinted at the thin yellow paper in her grip. I'd helped her pick out her wardrobe this morning, and she looked good in her designer jeans and sandals that showed off her black toenails. I hadn't had to paint them that color. Apparently dark reapers had black toenails.

From my other side, Barnabas shifted his backpack higher up on his shoulder, looking like any kid in any school in his jeans and T-shirt. "You'll love it, Nakita," he said, smirking. "It will help teach you how to blend in. Try not to scythe your partner if the cookies get burned."

I stifled my laugh, trying to imagine the petite, attractive, but sometimes totally clueless dark reaper balancing a checkbook or learning how to use a microwave. My gaze returned to my schedule. Physics. Study hall. Advanced English with Josh. Photography. It was going to be a good year.

Nakita stood back from the lockers as she puzzled it through, almost getting in the way of the foot traffic. "What do cookies have to do with economics?" she asked as she tossed her hair back in an unconscious gesture most models spend years perfecting. With that hair and those eyes, she was gorgeous, and I could already feel the stares as everyone wondered what she was doing standing next to me. The story was that she and Barnabas were exchange students, and with a little angel intervention, they had the background to prove it. As far as anyone knew, they were staying at my house. The truth was more…interesting.

Amy's voice lifted high over the surrounding babble, and I stiffened, opening my locker and pretty much hiding behind the door. I wasn't afraid of her, but the prom queen mentality irritated the heck out of me.

"Hi!" came her cheery voice, and I cringed, since she had to be talking to Nakita. Her bevy of conformist boobs were behind her, and I pretended to be looking for something. "I'm Amy," she practically bubbled. "You must be the new girl. Is that your brother? He's kinda hot."

Barnabas stiffened to look charmingly innocent with his mop of curls and wide eyes, and I smiled. He really had no clue how good he looked.

"That dung flop?" Nakita said, her dislike almost visibly dripping into nasty puddles at Amy's designer flats. "Yes, I guess. That doesn't mean I have to like him."

"I know what you mean." Amy faked a heartfelt sigh. "I have a brother too." The girls behind her giggled when she pushed past me to Barnabas. "I'm Amy," she said, smiling as she extended her hand.

"Barnabas," the reaper said as he darted past me to give Nakita a sideways hug to avoid having to shake Amy's hand. "This is Nakita. She's my favorite sister. We're from Norway."

Norway? I couldn't help my smirk when Amy's friends started buzzing behind her.

"I thought you had an accent," Amy said, only mildly flustered at the slight dis. "Why don't you sit at my table for lunch? Both of you. You don't want to eat with dweebs."

Unable to take it anymore, I slammed my locker shut.

"Madison! Sweetie! I didn't see you there," Amy cooed. "That top is to die for," she said, gesturing. "It's so you. My little sister gave one just like that to Goodwill last year."

Nakita had been teaching me how to use my amulet to draw energy from the time stream to make a blade, and it took all I had not to practice it now. "Hi, Amy. How's the nose? Are you going to get that lump shaved off before picture day?" That felt almost as good, though.

Amy flushed, but I was spared her comeback when her posse parted with giggles, and Len strutted up.

In a fast motion, Nakita grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the locker. Shocked, I stood with my mouth hanging open. Around us came oohs and catcalls. "Touch me there again, and you will die, swine," she said, every word succinct.

Len's eyes were wide, and his face was red as Nakita pressed it into the ribbed metal. Barnabas was laughing, but I didn't want to spend my first day of school in the principal's office. "Uh, Nakita?" I offered.

The reaper took a startled breath, glanced at the faces watching, and let him go. Len stumbled to catch his balance, but nothing could help him find his pride. I mean, Nakita was smaller than him, and she looked like a ditz, with her perpetual confusion. Of course, she looked like an embarrassed ditz right now.

"You're freaking whacked!" Len shouted, backing away as he fixed his shirt. "You hear me? You're Madison's friends, aren't you? You're just as whacked as her!"

I made an innocent face, trying not to laugh. Barnabas, though, was snickering—as was the entire male student body who'd seen the incident.

Amy grabbed his arm as if she was stopping him from coming after us, and she pulled him away when a teacher came around the corner. There was nothing to see, though, but excitement and laughter lingered. The guys left with loud comebacks, and the handful of estrogen trailed behind them. I exhaled, not even having realized I'd taken a breath.

"Nakita?" I said as I opened my locker again. "We need to work on your people skills."

"He touched me," she said, scowling. "He's lucky he is still living."

My eyebrows rose, and I wondered if the seraph's idea of Nakita teaching me how to use my amulet and me teaching her how to live with her new gift of fear was such a good idea. "Right, but if you want to stay in school, you have to be more subtle."

"Subtle," the reaper mused, her expression easing. "Like a knife up under his ribs?"

Barnabas leaned close. "Change that to a finger, and yes, that would work."

From above me came a tinkling voice at the edge of my awareness. "There once was a girl who had grace."

My attention shot up, and I smiled at the ball of light. "Grace!" I called, hoping no one would think I was talking to the ceiling. The first time a seraph had tried to contact me, I'd passed out from the pain. Now everything came by way of messenger angel, but this was the first time I'd seen Grace.

The angel hovered to land atop the door to my locker. "Hi, Madison. I've got a message for Nakita." Glowing brighter, she added, "What's Barnabas doing here? You're the dark timekeeper, and he's—"

"Not with Ron," Barnabas said, face tight as he crossed his arms over his chest.

The light brightened even more until I had to believe she was visible to everyone. "You went grim!" she exclaimed, and I winced at the pain in my head from the force of her voice.

Barnabas ran a hand over his curls as Nakita sniggered. "I don't know what I am, but I couldn't stay where I was. I don't trust Ron, but I still don't believe in fate."

Nakita flipped her hair back and put a hand on her hip. "You would dare stand in defiance of seraphs?" she almost growled.

He came back with, "I would use my eyes to see and thoughts to think," and Grace hummed impatiently.

Stepping between them, I said, "Okay. Fine! I don't believe in fate, either, but I respect Nakita." And that big scythe she showed me she could make last week. "When I'm in school, I'm safe from whatever you guys are worried about. Why don't you both wait outside?"

Immediately they backed down. "I need to be here," Nakita said, eyes lowered. "For myself. I need to understand. The seraphs are unsure how your being dead will touch upon your ability to read time. And I don't feel right among my own anymore. They think I'm flawed," she finished, and I winced at the shame I could hear in her voice.

Barnabas looked out over the surrounding, excited people, his gaze vacant. "I need something to do. I'm…alone too. And you're familiar."

That's nice. I'm familiar. Like an old pair of socks.

"You're both guarding Madison?" Grace asked. "Someone needs to. She wouldn't let me do it."

I felt bad about that, but then she landed on my shoulder and whispered, "Thank you, Madison, for naming me. I thought they were going to take my name from me, but they finally agreed that if I was assigned as a messenger to you permanently, I could keep it."

"Grace, that's great!" I said, truly pleased. It was good to see Grace, but the last time a message had come for Nakita, the dark reaper had excused herself, coming back with a satisfied smile and a new notch on her scythe.

The tiny angel rose high, and I felt a familiar presence behind me. Nakita looked away with her lips pressed together, but Barnabas smiled, and I wasn't surprised when Josh slipped out of the crowd and into our small eddy in the hall traffic.

"Hi, Madison," Josh said as he banged knuckles with Barnabas.

"Hi, Josh." I was nervous, and that made me all the more embarrassed, especially when Grace hummed happily. He looked good, completely recovered from his brush with death. He didn't like Nakita, though, and the feeling was mutual, from what I could tell of her dark expression aimed at the floor.

"Madison is my responsibility," Nakita muttered, continuing our previous conversation. "You failed. Twice. I think you're a spy," she accused Barnabas, ignoring Josh.

The light reaper gone rogue was affronted. "I am not!" he said loudly. "Look at my amulet. Does that look red to you anymore?"

It was true. Much to Barnabas's chagrin, the glow in his amulet had shifted up through the spectrum and was now the bright, neutral gold of an inexperienced reaper. He was no longer tied to Ron. He was tied to me and growing…darker.

"If you aren't a spy," Nakita said, her finger pointing, "then why are you here, Barney?"

"Because I don't trust you. And don't call me that."

She hissed something at him, and when Grace went to referee, I turned away, sighing. "They are like little kids," I complained, then smiled. "What lunch do you have?"

"Second," Josh said as he dug out his schedule.

"So do I!" I said, delighted. "I'll meet you at the front water fountain. Unless…"

He smiled, making my breath catch. "Unless nothing. I'll be there."

Beside us, Nakita shouted, "I will rip out your tongue and feed it to my hellhounds!"

Josh winced, and a wider space opened between us and everyone else. "Can't you get rid of them?"

Beaming, I shook my head. "Nope. I've tried."

He shifted his book to his other hand. "I think I hear Grace. Is she here? I kind of miss her."

I leaned back against my locker and nodded to Nakita and Barnabas, who were still arguing. People were giving them odd looks, and I wondered if I'd started a new clique. A weird and noisy one. "She brought a message for the almighty 'Kita."

He laughed. It was a nice sound, and I wondered if he would drive me home after school so I wouldn't have to take the bus. That would really melt Amy's retainer.

Josh glanced at Barnabas and Nakita, who had finally stopped arguing so they could listen to Grace. "Are you doing anything after school?"

Not anymore, I thought, but then shrugged. "I don't know. Nakita might have something going on."

"Shut your singing hole," Nakita said to Barnabas, then shook her hair back to find her composure. Facing me, she said, "There's a situation. Barney will watch you for a few…hours."

It was as I thought. She had a scything. "Nakita, I don't like this," I said as Barnabas bristled. "Scything people who make bad choices is wrong. It's easy, but wrong."

Her eyebrows arched up. "That's not why they're chosen, and you will feel differently after you have seen enough human atrocity. By the time you learn how to use your amulet, you'll understand. Until then, what you want will make no difference."

That was as about as patronizing as it could get, but she was older than everyone here except Barnabas. "What about your domestic studies?" I said, knowing how badly she wanted to fit in, seeing as her own people didn't understand her anymore.

Jaw tight, Nakita handed her class schedule to Josh. "He can do it for me."

Josh's eyebrows went up. "Uh, Nakita. School doesn't work like that."

Barnabas grabbed the paper from Josh and shoved it back at her. "If you go, I go. I'm not going to let you take another soul, so you may as well stay."

"I'd like to see you try to stop me!" she said, starting it all back up again.

Grace dropped between us, a faint shimmer in the air. "All the love in this building! It makes me giddy. I'm out of here. Nakita, are you taking the scythe or not?"

"Yes," she said, and Grace popped out of existence with a burst of inward-falling light and the scent of roses.

Nakita pulled me to her, our heads almost touching. "You should come with me," she said, eyes glancing sideways at the surrounding people. "Perhaps then you will learn how to look forward and see the atrocities this human's choices will bring about. I know you'll agree then."

"It's the first day of school!" I said as Josh started talking to Barnabas to get the scoop on what was going on. "I can't skip the first day of school."

Her blue eyes narrowed and her cheeks flushed. "You are the seraphs' will, Madison."

"Well, the seraphs' will doesn't want to be grounded," I protested, thinking I'd never have believed it possible those words could go together and make sense. "I don't agree with fate," I added. Class was about to start, and the hallway was emptying out.

"It's wrong, Nakita," Barnabas said, loud enough that I worried someone might hear us. "That person has not done anything."

"He will," was her confident answer. "Just because you can't fly high enough to see around corners doesn't mean the seraphs can't."

This was just freaking great. First day of school, and Nakita wanted to take me on a scythe party. The warning bell rang, and I jumped. Sighing, I picked up my books and started down the hall. Josh shifted forward, working his way beside me as Barnabas and Nakita fell in behind.

"So," Josh said, his eyes wide, "are we going to class, or on safari?"

I stared, not believing this. "You want to go too?"

Nakita leaned forward between us, pushing him aside. "You'll enjoy killing this one, Madison. Grace says the demon spawn is going to create a computer virus that takes out the operating systems of a hospital. Hundreds of your precious people, Barnabas, are going to die untimely deaths because of this human's choice made in the search for recognition and pride. If we don't move this soul to a higher plane before he sullies it, he will eventually become a cyberterrorist."

Ooh, strike one.

Barnabas was grim-faced as he came up on my other side. "But he hasn't done it yet. There's always a choice, and he might make the right one."

The hallway was empty. To the right was the hallway that would take me to my physics class, to the left the bright rectangle of the school's front door. "Nakita," I said, my steps slowing in the intersection. "Was I wrong in saving Susan, the girl on the boat?"

"Yes," she said immediately.

"No," Barnabas rejoined.

Nakita held her home ec textbook to her chest, the spreadsheet and bowl of eggs on the cover a weird mix with her severe, almost bloodthirsty expression. "She was going to create articles of truth without compassion. She was going to devote her life to destroying faith and the belief people have in each other. There was no giving in her life, only destruction."

Strike two. "Is that still her fate?" I asked, hearing the was.

Her beautiful face shifted, becoming confused. "No," she said, and our steps slowed to a stop. "The seraphs sing that her future is muddied, and they don't know why."

A slow smile curved my lips up. "I do." Pleased, I started for the front doors. I knew now what I was going to do—how I was going to reconcile working as head of a system I didn't agree with until I found my body and returned to normal. "Just like understanding fear changed you, Susan saw death, and as a result, she learned how precious life is. It's hard to make a choice when you can only see one way."

From my left, Barnabas frowned. "You're talking about me," he said sullenly.

"No." I glanced at the front offices, hoping no one was watching. "I don't think so. Maybe?" I shrugged. "I'm going to come with you, Nakita, but before you get your blade out and turn all scary, I want to talk to him."

The dark reaper's eyebrows went high. "Why?" she said, mirroring Barnabas's confused expression.

"To see if I can't change his fate," I said. Duh…

Okay, so I was dead, my body was somewhere between now and the next, and I had two argumentative reapers guarding me from the very timekeeper I'd once trusted. Things weren't all bad. My dad didn't have a clue I was dead, Josh was alive, and until I got my body back and got off this roller coaster, I not only could skip school with impunity, but it was my moral responsibility to do so.

We had reached the door, and I yanked it open. Sunlight spilled in, warming me as Josh caught the door and held it. "You're going to skip?" he asked, and I grinned.

"Yup. Nakita and Barnabas can cover for me. For us. For a good girl, I certainly do some bad things."

Josh laughed as he gestured for me to go first. "Breaking rules isn't bad when what you're doing is more important than the rule itself."

I hesitated on the threshold, squinting in the sun. "You think it makes a difference?"

Josh nodded, and his smile made a quiver start in the pit of my being. "Yeah. I do."

"Me too," I said, and together, we walked out into the sun to save some good guy's soul.