My Blood Approves

Chapter 5

There isn’t a single sound in the world that’s worse than an alarm going off.

After Jack had dropped me off last night, it had been all but impossible to fall asleep. There was still the lingering adrenaline from the near-death experience, and there were Jack’s increasingly cryptic responses and bizarre behavior. Once the warm water of the morning shower splashed my face, it all seemed even more ridiculous. I lived in Minneapolis, not Gotham City, or whatever other bogus city where there were supernatural forces at work. Here, in the real world, there were no super powers or werewolves or unicorns. Everything in life had an explanation, and Jack’s probably had more to do with cocaine or mescaline than it did with anything else. People addicted to speed were known to exhibit superhuman strength, and combine that with some kind of chemical imbalance that made him smell irresistible to women, and there it was. Problem solved. And he was just kind of a jackass and didn’t want to let on that he had a drug problem.

Naturally, I spent too much time in the shower, and I almost missed the bus to school. Milo sat next to me, but he didn’t seem to be in a talking mood, so I put in my ear buds and decided to pass the time listening to Ryan Adams on my iPod. Resting my forehead against the glass of the window, I watched my breath frost it up. Milo kept giving me the cold shoulder even though I hadn’t done anything wrong, and this guy that I barely knew but really liked had fought off a rabid dog last night. What exactly had happened to my life over Spring Break?

School passed more slowly than it ever had before. Everything was excruciating because I felt so unprepared for it all. I slept all through my second hour, but I managed to sneak my iPod into my third hour, so I kept awake for that. I just stared out the window, at the chilly rain falling down, and tried not to think about Jack. By the end of fifth hour, I had completely exhausted myself not thinking about him.

When I stopped at my locker between classes, I somehow managed to drop my History book on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, and when I stood back up, Milo was standing right next to me, scaring the crap out of me. He admired the clutter that occupied my locker, including the obligatory collage mess of magazine cut outs lining the inside of the door.

“God, you scared me,” I grumbled, shoving my History book into my book bag.

“So are you gonna be at home tonight or not?” He had one of his hands on my locker door, and he started moving it back and forth, just enough to make it squeak.

“Of course I’m gonna be there. I live there.” I continued fiddling around with something in my bag, but mostly I was trying to look busy. In turn, he was staring off at some point behind me so he wouldn’t have to look directly at me.

“I meant, are you gonna hang out with Jack?” His tone was icy, and I didn’t understand what he found so offensive about me being with Jack. Even if he was having some kind of jealousy, shouldn’t he be trying to cover it up better?

“Yeah, probably,” I shrugged. We hadn’t actually talked yet, but Jack had said that he would see me today, and I didn’t have any reason to doubt him.

Well, except for the fact that he was hiding something major.

“So are you guys like dating or what?” Milo asked, dripping with a angry sarcasm.

“No. It’s not like that.” I slung my bag over my shoulder, and he just narrowed his eyes at me.

Suddenly, it pissed me off that I had to explain myself to him. We weren’t dating, but it shouldn’t matter to him anyway. It wasn’t my fault that Jack’s abnormal attractiveness had made his sexual orientation even more confusing.

If he had told me he was having issues with it, I probably wouldn’t have brought Jack around.

“Whatever,” Milo muttered incredulously.

“What exactly are you accusing me of?” I asked, slamming my locker door shut. He let his hands fall to the sides, looking startled. “Even if I am dating Jack, so what? I can do that. There’s nothing wrong with being friends with him or dating him or whatever it is I decide to do with him. He’s a nice guy and it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do.”

“Whatever you say,” Milo said, but he wasn’t as confident or angry. In fact, he was a little taken back.

“Milo, this is stupid.” I readjusted the strap over my shoulder and looked at him softly. “I get it, okay? I saw the way that you looked at Jack.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He flushed and averted his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. Outing him in the middle of the hall at school probably wasn’t the best idea, but I just couldn’t take his indifference to me anymore. He normally told me everything, and it looked like he wasn’t going to talk to me about this unless I got the ball rolling.

“It’s okay.” I lowered my voice so other people wouldn’t overhear. “If you’re gay. It’s okay. I understand.”

“You don’t understand anything!” Milo shouted. When he looked up at me, his eyes were filled with tears, and I realized that I had made a terrible mistake.

I couldn’t force him to come to terms with anything, and if he wasn’t ready to talk about it with me, I should’ve respected that.

“Milo-” I started to say something, but I didn’t really have anything to follow it up with. He didn’t wait around for it anyway. He just turned and stormed off down the hall, leaving me alone to think about what an ass I was.

When I got on the bus after school, he made sure to sit on the opposite side. On the way to our house from the bus stop, he jogged on ahead of me. I tried to hurry and catch up, but by the time I made it inside, he’d already slammed the door to his bedroom. He must’ve been really upset if he risked the wrath of our mother just to show me how angry he was. I sighed and flopped on the couch, wondering how he had managed to put up with me for so long.

I had made it through two full episodes of Judge Judy while laying sprawled out on the couch without any word from Jack or Milo, and I was starting to think that maybe the whole world had ostracized me. The only time that Jane had talked to me all day was during lunch, and then it was just a list of how much she drank and who she had sex with over the break. I just wanted to curl up on the couch and completely give up on life, but then I heard the familiar ring of “Time Warp” and I quickly snatched up my phone.

Are you done with school yet? Jack text messaged, making me wonder how long it had been since he went to school.

Yeah. I’ve been done for like two hours. Why? I replied.

Good. Ready to hang out? He hadn’t really answered my question, but hey, what’s new?

Yeah. Sure. What did you have in mind? I messaged him.

I’ll pick you up in 15.

And that was that. My clothes from school were fine (I’d gone with jeans, a long shirt, and a cute little black vest), but most of my make up had worn off, so I rushed to the bathroom to reapply and run a brush through my hair. I started heading towards the front door, but decided against it. Exhaling nervously, I knocked on Milo’s door.

“Milo?” I said cautiously. He didn’t respond, but I continued anyway. “I know you’re mad at me, and I don’t blame you. I did a stupid, stupid thing. But um…” I sighed, and tried to figure out what I wanted to say. “You can talk to me if you want to. But I just thought I’d let you know that I’m going to go hang out with Jack. But you can call me if you want to. Okay?” He still didn’t answer, but I waited a minute just to be sure. Then since I’d already spent too much time getting ready, I hurried out to meet Jack.

I stepped outside, feeling like the worst sister in the world, just in time to see Jack pull up. I trudged over to the red Lamborghini and fell into the seat heavily. The Ramones were blaring out the speakers, and he turned them down quickly, looking at me with an excited, mischievous grin. Even though my sour mood had to be obvious, he was oblivious to it, so it soon faded away.

“What?” I asked curiously. He bit his lip, as if he couldn’t decide whether to tell me or not. “What’s going on?”

“I think that its time you met my family.” He sounded wildly excited by the idea, but also a tad nervous. Whatever made him nervous tended to terrify me, so I gulped. “No, it’s a good thing. Yeah.” Then he nodded, more to himself than me. “Yeah. It’s good.”

“Why?”

He had already thrown the car into gear and we were flying down the street and turning on the highway before I could even really protest, not that I would’ve anyway. Meeting families was usually my least favorite thing in the world, but a family that spawned Jack intrigued me. Especially considering how happy it made Jack.

“After what happened last night, I think its time,” Jack explained, but I had no idea what his family could possibly have to do with a rabid dog. Unless his family were dog breeders or something.

Then I remembered what happened and looked over at Jack’s arm, which was bare thanks to his return to his tee shit uniform. (He wore one today that read “Frankie Says Relax.”) I leaned in closer to inspect both his arms, thinking I must’ve looked at the wrong one. But neither one of them had a scratch or a mark or even a scar. He noticed me looking and immediately chastised me. “No.

Don’t even think about it.”

“What?” I leaned back in my seat, still staring at his arms. “You mean asking how you magically got rid any trace of the dog bite so quickly?”

“Precisely,” Jack warned. “Don’t ask any questions about anything like that, not about me, not about anyone else.”

“They’re like you, aren’t they?” By now, nothing should come as a shock, but I still looked at him in disbelief. Every time I thought things couldn’t get any weirder, they did.

“I want you to meet them, but you can’t be like this. You have to act completely oblivious.” His tone was light, but he was being firm. If I said anything wrong, he’d probably drag me out of the house and forbid me from ever talking to him again. My heart ached just at the thought of it, so I groaned compliance. “I mean it, Alice. My family. My rules.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” I rolled my eyes, and turned my attention to the world speeding past us out the window. “Where do you live anyway?”

“In St. Louis Park, by a lake,” Jack said casually. I didn’t know tons about that area, but what I had heard is that there were lots of really nice, really expensive homes. So it would make sense that Jack lived there, since we were cruising down the highway in a bright red Lamborghini Gallardo. “It’s not that far.”

“I’m sure it’s not, with the way you drive,” I commented.

“Don’t worry,” Jack attempted to reassure me. “They’ll like you. I think.

Well, Ezra isn’t there. So it’s just Mae and Peter. That should make it easier.”

“Where’s Ezra?” For some reason, knowing one of his brothers would be gone made me more nervous. Maybe Jack knew he wouldn’t like me, and that’s why he was bringing me over when he wasn’t around.

“Business thing,” Jack shrugged. “He’s gone a lot with stuff.”

“Well, the Lamborghini doesn’t pay for itself,” I supposed.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” He looked over at me, and then laughed at my nervous fidgeting. I had started chewing on my nails, which was an awful habit that I kept vowing to quit. “Seriously, you’ll be fine. They’ll like you. I mean, I like you so… they’ll like you.”

“Yeah, cause everything in life is really that simple,” I sighed.

“This one thing might actually be,” Jack smiled confidently.

“Wait.” Something new and mildly terrifying occurred to me. It wasn’t really that scary, it just might turn out to be embarrassing. “Are they all like you? I mean like… are they… will I be super attracted to them?” I flushed at the thought of fawning all over anyone the way Jane and my mother did to him, especially in front of him. I would die.

“I don’t think so,” Jack furrowed his brow. “I don’t know, though.”

“Oh, good.” I sunk lower in my seat, thinking about how this was a really terrible idea.

“I met your family and that wasn’t so bad,” Jack pointed out.

“That was different!” I groaned, and that had been really disturbing for me anyway.

“This will be fine,” he promised.

I could tell by the way he was driving that we were getting closer, and my heart thudded painfully. When he pulled up to his house, I cringed. It was incredibly beautiful and massive. It was more of a mansion or a castle than a house. There was a five stall garage (I didn’t even know they made such a thing) at the end of a short, winding driveway. The whole thing had been done in some kind of pale sandstone. The front door entered right into a rounded tower. There was a large rectangular window above it, covered in rod-iron bars.

The tower flowed into what would otherwise be a rather conventional square house, if not for the gorgeous black iron balcony coming out of a second story window underneath a weeping willow.

“Oh my gosh,” I gasped as we pulled into the garage. “You live here?”

“Yeah.” He heard the awed tone in my voice and chuckled. “It’s just a house.”

“Nothing is ‘just’ anything with you,” I mumbled.

He laughed harder and started getting out of the car, and I followed suit, but much slower. I had never felt so intimidated in my entire life. Everything about me suddenly seemed plain and dreary, and I felt totally ashamed that I had let him see the inside of my disgustingly tiny apartment.

“You know I didn’t buy this, right?” Jack turned to look back at me as we walked past the four other vehicles in the garage (Mae’s black Jetta, a green Jeep Wrangler with a canvas top, a black Lexus LS, and a shiny silver Audi TT Roadster). Then he gestured to the impressive collection of cars. “I didn’t buy any of this. None of it’s really mine.”

“Then who did buy it?”

“Ezra, mostly. And Peter.” We had reached the huge wooden door that presumably led into the house, and he turned back to grin at me. “Mae and I are just eye candy.”

“I see.” There was something comforting in that. If that were true, then maybe his brothers weren’t as attractive as him, and I wouldn’t have to worry about making a fool of myself over them.

Jack threw open the door, shouting hello. I had barely crept in the house behind him when a giant mass of white fur flung itself at him. It caused a mild flashback to the night before and I almost yelped, but Jack was scratching the dog and telling her how pretty she was, and I realized that it was just his gigantic Great Pyrenees.

“Matilda!” A warm voice with a soft, British accent filtered through the house, and then I saw her rushing in to greet us. She was beautiful, probably in an unconventional sense, but that almost made her more stunning. Her long, light brown waves of hair had been clipped back to keep it out of her honey colored eyes. Her skin looked like white porcelain, but there was a warmth coming off her in comforting waves. She went over to the dog, pushing her down off of Jack with ease, and in a slightly scolding tone, she said, “Oh, Matilda, do be a good girl. Please.”

“Ah, she’s alright.” Jack crouched down to continue scratching the dog’s head. Watching him play with her, I realized for the first time how hard it must’ve been for him last night to kill that dog. It had never really occurred to me that he had been hurt too when he was forced to protect me.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized breathlessly, putting her hand over her heart to show how sincere she was. She looked at me for the first time and smiled at me. “Matilda’s still a puppy.”

“Mattie’s always a good girl, aren’t you?” Jack’s voice was verging on baby-talk, and Matilda licked his face appreciatively.

“Well, look at you!” She exclaimed, and her smile grew broader and warmer. “You’re lovely!”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. She was far more beautiful than I could ever hope to be, and I didn’t know really how to respond to her open affection.

“Oh, sorry.” Jack gave the dog one final pat before standing up. “Alice, this is Mae. Mae, this is Alice.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I floundered. There was something about her that made me feel safe and oddly loved, but it was so unexpected that I didn’t really have time to collect my thoughts and respond.

“The pleasure is all mine!” Mae gushed, placing her hand over her heart again. “You really have no idea.”

“What have you been saying about me?” I gave Jack a sidelong glance, wondering what he possibly could’ve said to get her so excited over me. He was the one with all the magical powers. I just argued with him and got myself in ridiculous situations.

“Not that much,” Jack shrugged, but he didn’t seem embarrassed or surprised by Mae at all.

“Shall I give you the grand tour?” Mae offered, suddenly looping her arm through mine. Then she looked over at Jack. “Would that be alright with you?”

“Yeah, do what you want.” He had already started playing with the dog again, seemingly contented to let Mae kidnap me and do with me as she pleased.

“This is the entryway, obviously,” Mae gestured to the vaulted ceilings and marble floors around us, and the rings on her fingers flashed in the light.

Then she started to lead me into an adjoining room, which appeared to be some kind of expansive living room. The rest of the house had dark golden oak wood floors and cream colored walls. Somehow, it managed to combine a warm modern motif with touches of a castle. It was beautiful and perfect and really, so utterly Mae. “Here’s the living room. Windows, fireplace, etc.” Before I could even really take it all in, she started leading me into the kitchen. The tiles were granite in natural neutral colors and the cupboards matched the hardwood floors. Off the back of the kitchen, there were giant windows and glass French doors leading out to a massive stone patio and revealed a beautiful view of the lake that stood right off the backyard. “This is the kitchen, and the view.”

“That is truly breathtaking.” I pulled away from her just enough so I could peer out the window. It was dark out, so I couldn’t fully appreciate it, but the backyard was lit with several large lights and I got a glimpse of it.

“That’s why Ezra chose this place.” Mae put her hand on my arm when she returned to my side, and I noticed that her skin felt the same as Jack’s -

silky soft, but completely temperatureless, like touching a doll. “This land, anyway. He built the house.”

“He designed it and everything?” I know I sounded surprised, which made me feel embarrassed. Of course her husband had built this amazing piece of architecture. They were obviously superior to everyone in everyway, and I better start getting used to it.

“Well, I helped, a little.” Mae smiled modestly at me, and I realized that I was already falling in love with her. Not like sexually or anything lesbian like that, but they were just so inviting and charismatic, I couldn’t help it. That’s when I realized that I was a little bit in love with Jack. He was impossibly wonderful, and I couldn’t stand to be away from him. I had started craning my head to look around for him when Mae pulled onto the next room.

“This is a really fast tour you’re giving me,” I commented as she went through the grand dining room connected to the kitchen. We had just started down a hall and she laughed a light, tinkly laugh. It was really the female equivalent to Jack’s, and it cemented my affection for her forever.

“Well, you’ll see the house enough, I’m sure.” Her eyes sparkled at me, and I knew that she was implying that I’d be hanging out there more, which suited me just fine. “I really just wanted a chance to get acquainted with you, and this seemed like the perfect way.”

“Oh.” I nodded as if I really understood.

“There’s the lou if you need it,” Mae gestured to a gorgeous half bath, and then vaguely pointed to two rooms at the end of the hall. “That’s Ezra’s office at the end, and our bedroom next to it. They’re not that exciting, really.”

“Somehow, I doubt that,” I murmured, but I let her pull me onward and up the stairs. She claimed that she wanted to get acquainted with me, but I didn’t understand how she really meant to do that when she as rushing me through the house.

“Here’s Jack’s room,” Mae pointed to an open door at the top of the stairs, and I took a moment to peek in. The walls were dark blue, as he had told me they were, and the bed was massive and laid out in black silk blankets. There was a giant flat screen television hanging on the wall, and tons of gaming gear and videogames filling the built-in entertainment center in the wall. Some clothes were strewn about the room, but really, it was exactly as I expected it would be.

“There’s a guest room, with another bathroom, at the end of the hall,” Mae explained, then looked a little perplexed. “I don’t know why there’s another bathroom up here. Each bedroom has it’s own attached bathroom, and it’s own fireplace. I think someone must’ve suggested it to Ezra that it was a good resale point.”

“This house is all bathrooms and fireplaces,” a velvety voice grumbled, and my heart stopped at the sound. It was coming from the bedroom across the hall from Jack’s room, and completely unabashed, I took a step towards it. This room had been styled much closer to the rest of the house, with wood floors, and a four-poster bed made with white linens. There was a large white rug in the center of the room, and the French doors leading out to the balcony were open, letting the cool breeze ruffle the thick curtains. The walls were lined with books, and there was someone sitting in the overstuffed white chair in the corner. An aged copy of Wuthering Heights covered his face from me, but just the sound of his voice had already mesmerized me. He wore faded jeans and a close fitting sweater. His slender fingers were deeply tanned, but they seemed to be gripping the book unnaturally tight. I wondered if I was irritating him in some way, so I took a step back, trying to sneak out of his room, but I bumped right into Mae.

“Alice, this is Peter,” Mae introduced us. Maybe it was just my imagination, but her voice seemed to have filled with a sense of self-satisfaction that I didn’t understand. “Peter, this is Alice.” He grunted something but didn’t lower the book. “Jack told you that she’d be coming over tonight.”

“I remember.” Peter definitely sounded annoyed, so I tried to edge my way out of the room, but Mae, who either chose to ignore or didn’t notice his growing irritation, blocked my path.

“You could at least say hi to our guest.” Mae reprimanded him, but her tone was playful. “It’s the polite thing to do.”

103

“Hello,” Peter sighed, and finally lowered his book.

At first I could only see his eyes. They were an intoxicating shade of green and completely captivated me. His hair thick, chestnut hair had been kept a little long, and he had it tucked behind his ears. His jaw had tightened, strong on his slender features. He breathed in sharply, and his lips parted. It wasn’t his intention, but there was something so seductive about that. He was stunningly perfect in a way that made him almost painful to look at.

“Aha!” Mae exclaimed quietly behind me, but I was too preoccupied with Peter to figure out what she meant.

“Shouldn’t you continue your little tour?” Peter asked icily, and his eyes dropped from mine.

I suddenly remembered to breathe and tried desperately not to gulp down air the way my lungs requested. My heart was pounding wildly, and I could feel the blood burning my cheeks. I was being the same ridiculous fool that Jane had been, the one that I had been terrified of becoming, and I felt like sobbing in shame.

“I think we’ve seen all the main points,” Mae looped her arm through mine, and the combination of her soft voice and reassuring touch calmed me down enough where I didn’t burst into tears. “Would you care to join us, Peter?”

“I’ve seen the house.” He lifted the book again, hiding his exquisite features from me.

“Peter’s always a grump,” Mae explained, but she sounded a tad disappointed when she started leading me away from Peter’s room. “Come on, love. There’s still more for us to see.”

“Well?” Jack appeared at the bottom stairs, looking up expectantly at us.

There was something anxious and almost protective about him. Mae and I walked slowly down towards him, and I couldn’t meet his gaze, afraid he would see what an idiot I had become.

“Well what?” I mumbled.

“What do you think?” He waited until I was at the bottom of the stairs, then I felt him inspecting me. The dog came over and licked my hand, and I absently started petting her.

“The house is amazing.” I tried to force a smile to prove how spectacular I thought everything was, and I hated that that sudden random confrontation with his brother had distracted me from all my other pleasant feelings about the house and Mae.

“Peter’s upstairs being a crab,” Mae told Jack dramatically, then put her arm around me, squeezing me to her.

“Oh,” Jack replied knowingly, then exchanged a look with Mae that I couldn’t read. She just bit her lip and shrugged, then hugged me a little tighter.

“Peter is such a jackass.”

“Oh, he is not.” Mae had taken to stroking my hair gently, and that actually seemed to alleviate all the tension and shame I had been harboring.

“Peter!” Jack shouted up at the stairs at him.

“I am reading a book!” Peter growled down.

“Peter!” Jack shouted again, growing more irritated.

“I am reading, Jack!” Peter responded, and I winced at the anger in his words.

“Jack.” Mae shot him a look telling him to knock it off. “Let him be.”

“Whatever.” He relented, but he didn’t look happy about it. Then he turned his attention to me and smiled. “So, Alice, wanna have some fun?”

“Sure?” I replied hesitantly. His eyes had started to have a mischievous glint, and I hadn’t decided whether or not I should trust it.

“Hot tub!” Jack exclaimed, and I wanted to protest, but somehow, soaking out in a pool of hot water seemed like the perfect cure for this awful feeling I had building inside me.

“I don’t have a suit.” This was true, but I was sure they would have a solution for it. I had a feeling that Mae and Jack would have a solution for nearly everything.

“Oh, I have the perfect one for you!” Mae smiled, her earlier excitement returning. She started ushering me down the hall towards her room, but she lowered her voice to talk to Jack, who was apparently following us. “He’s reading Wuthering Heights.”

“Is he really?” Jack laughed. “Priceless.”

We went into Mae’s room, where Jack proceeded to flop back on the overstuffed bed. She opened the doors to her closet, and it was larger than my entire bedroom. She started searching through her multitudes of bathing suits and bikinis, making me nervous. Once she found one she liked (a pale blue two piece with a ruffled skirt around the bottoms) she insisted that I go into their adjoining bathroom to try it on. It fit, and it was really more flattering then I had expected it to be, but it also felt incredibly revealing. When I came out, she gushed over how amazing I looked. She had already changed into her own bikini in the closest, and I looked like nothing compared to her. Jack didn’t say anything, but the approving way he looked at me made me blush.

Jack was a typical guy and decided that wearing just his black boxers would suffice. I took a moment to admire the perfection of Jack shirtless, but I did it as discreetly as possible. We went outside through the French doors, and the cold night air stung against my skin. Mae and Jack didn’t appear to notice it, but that didn’t surprise me. I climbed into the hot tub, relishing the way it instantly warmed my entire body, reminding me of the way that I had felt when I looked at Peter. Then I remembered the ice in his voice and tried to push thoughts of him out of my mind.

We spent quite a bit of time in the hot tub, and when I finally let myself relax and enjoy it, I did. Matilda lay sprawled on the patio next to the hot tub, and Jack tried to splash her until Mae made him stop. I just sunk in the water, trying to forget about all the stuff about Jack that didn’t make sense, and the fact that my brother hated me, and Peter’s piercing green eyes.

“It’s getting late,” Mae announced reluctantly and looked sadly at me. “I really enjoyed having you over, and I do hope you come again. But you probably should get home before it’s too late.”

“It’s never too late,” Jack grumbled, dipping his head back under the water as if that could block out the truth in her statement.

“No, she’s right.” Using most of my strength, I pushed myself from the warm, comfort of the tub and felt the frigid air on my skin. If it had been much cooler, the water would’ve literally frozen on my skin. “Oh my gosh, it’s freezing!”

“I brought out towels,” Mae gestured to a pile of plush white towels laying on a nearby chair, and I rushed over to them.

When I picked up a towel, I just happened to glance up, and I saw Peter standing inside the kitchen, staring through the French doors at me. The towel had unrolled in front of me, but I just stood there, holding it, unable to actually start drying myself. The cold stung my skin, but Peter had captivated me. One of his arms was crossed across his chest, supporting his other elbow, while his hand rested on his chin. His brilliant green eyes were giving me a look that could kill, and my heart felt eager to please, so it completely stopped beating. It might have stopped forever if Mae hadn’t interrupted and pulled me from the trance he’d put me in.

“Peter! Would you care to join us?” Mae called at him. Still staring at me, or glaring at me as it was, he shook his head, then turned on his heels and stalked off. “Don’t mind him, Alice. He’s really not so bad.”

“It’s okay,” I lied, then suddenly started feeling the cold again and wrapped the towel around myself.

“You make him nervous,” Jack whispered.

“Why?” I asked numbly. It didn’t make any sense that anything about me could make someone as composed and perfect as Peter nervous. I was inconsequential in everyway. Naturally, Jack didn’t answer me. He just shrugged and walked into the house.

“Hurry up before you freeze to death!” Jack yelled, and I rushed in after him.

By the time I had gotten dressed, Jack was waiting by the door for me. He twirled the car keys on his hands and whistled a song that sounded suspiciously like “Walking on Sunshine.” At the door, Mae hugged me tightly and reminded me that I had to come visit her soon. Looking rather pained, she apologized for Peter’s behavior, and I wondered what he had done that had offended them so much.

“Which car are we taking?” I had followed Jack out into the garage, but he looked like he was walking all the way down to the other end, so I already knew what it was.

“The Lamborghini, of course.” He clicked the keyless entry and car beeped loudly.

“How do you decide which car you’re going to take?” Now, with a million other questions burning in my mind, this was the only question I wasn’t afraid to ask.

“I only take this when Ezra’s gone,” Jack explained sheepishly as he hopped in the driver’s seat. When I got on, he started it and adjusted the stereo.

“He thinks it’s too flashy. And my Jeep is fun but its not as fast, so I usually just take Mae’s Jetta. The Lexus is Ezra’s ‘every day’ car and the Audi is Peter’s.”

“If you like this car so much, why didn’t you just get one like it?” I asked as Jack backed out of the garage.

“Ezra says it’s too flashy. He says we don’t need to stand out that much.”

“Well, then why did he even bother buying this car? And you live in a house shaped like a castle and he drives a Lexus! How is any of that inconspicuous?” I looked at him skeptically, and he grinned at me.

“Exactly!” He pulled out of the driveway and sped down the road. I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes, trying to take in everything that had happened. When Jack spoke again, his tone had gotten somber. “So, what did you think of my family?”

“I liked them. Mae is very nice, and your house is stunning.” I kept my eyes closed and listened to the Joy Division cover playing on the radio. It reminded me of Gary Jules, but I knew that wasn’t it. “Who is this?”

“Honeyroot doing ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart,’” Jack answered, and without missing a beat, returned back to the topic. “So you had a good time then?”

“I did.” Mostly. Except for the parts when Peter sucked all the air my from lungs and I wanted to die.

“You’re awfully quiet. I’d been expecting a million questions from you.”

“Oh, I have them,” I reassured him. “Is Mae from England?” Jack laughed boisterously, and I turned to look at him. “What? Was I way off?”

“No, it’s just… that’s the question you ask?” He shook his head, smiling.

“That’s like the most normal thing you could possibly ask. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“What were you expecting me to ask?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what part of the night he thought I’d find the most odd.

“Yeah, she’s from England.” He once again hedged my question.

“They’re like you, aren’t they?” I asked, watching him carefully.

“Nobody’s like me,” Jack replied flippantly. “I’m a one in a million, baby!”

“Jack, you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Jack sighed. His expression got pained, and he was almost pleading with me. “You liked them and you had a good time. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

“Why did you want me to meet them?”

Meeting them had made him more vulnerable and more susceptible to my questions. I don’t know how it benefited him to have me around them. Mae had wanted to meet me, I’m sure, but he could’ve put that off. Or just not told her anything about me.

“That is way too complicated for me to answer right now,” Jack said simply.

“When will things stop being so complicated?” I had started whining a little, but I’d had a very long day, so I thought I had earned the right to whine just a little bit.

“That’s probably the best question you’ve ever asked me.” Jack sounded very far away and rather sad, so I knew the answer wouldn’t be anything I’d want to hear anyway. For once, I was grateful for his silence. After a very pregnant pause, he exhaled deeply. “I feel drawn to you.”

“That’s why things are complicated?” I sat up straighter in my seat, eager to hear what sounded like a legitimate answer.

“No. Well, kinda, but that’s not what I meant.” He glanced over at me, then returned his gaze to the road. “That’s why I wanted you to meet my family.”

“So was that like me meeting your parents?” I crinkled my nose. “Like we’re dating?”

“No, it’s not like that. You know what I mean. You feel it too, right?” His eyes flitted back over to me, then quickly away again. “Like you feel drawn to me. You enjoy me and everything, but you feel kind of compelled to be around me.”

“I guess,” I said noncommittally. He’d actually hit the nail on the head, but I didn’t want to admit to that.

“Well, that’s how I feel.” He had put himself out there for a minute, and he shifted uncomfortably. I realized he probably wasn’t accustomed to feeling awkward, and I felt bad for not being more honest with him.

“But… what does that have to do with your family?”

“That’s the complicated part,” he smirked.

“You can’t tell me anything?” I pressed. I knew that if I were smarter, I’d probably have everything pieced together already. Jack was probably growing frustrated with me failing to follow his little half clues.

“They like you,” Jack offered helpfully.

“Yeah, I could tell that Peter’s a real big fan,” I scoffed, and he just pursed his lips grimly.

“It’s really, really complicated, Alice. But…” He sighed again. “Okay.

That’s all I can say.”

“Why?” I demanded. We had already pulled up in front of my house, making the trek home in record time. He looked over at me, his expression grave but affectionate. “Why can’t you tell me more?”

“Honestly?” Jack bit his lip, and I could see the internal debate raging. “I like you too much.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! If you like me, you should just be open and honest with me! That’s what people do! That’s how it works!” I told him emphatically. His eyes looked conflicted and pained, and I thought almost had him, but then he looked down at his hands and shook his head.

“I saw your face yesterday.” His voice clogged painfully. “I don’t want you to ever look at me that way again.”

“I won’t!” I insisted, but we both know that I couldn’t be sure of that. I had no idea what he wasn’t telling me, so I couldn’t promise my reaction to it.

“It’s late.”

“Fine, be that way,” I grumbled and threw open the car door. “I had a really lovely time tonight and I hope we can do it again real soon.”

“Sweet dreams,” Jack smiled at me, and I smiled back, despite my frustration.

“Yeah, you too.”

By the time I made it up to my apartment, I was struggling not to cry. All Peter had really done was look at me, and it was somehow devastating. There was just this unfailing insistence inside me that wanted him, but I refused to listen to it. Jack and Mae liked me, probably more than they should, and I really liked them, definitely more than I should, and that was enough. That was more than enough! Why did I have to be so greedy?

“Alice?” Milo said timidly, startling me from thoughts. The apartment was mostly dark, and I hadn’t seen him sitting on the couch, waiting up for me. I had just been leaning against the front door, trying really hard not to cry. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just peachy.” I swallowed hard, then walked over to the couch.

Milo was talking to me, and that was pretty damn exciting. I pushed Peter and Jack from my thoughts and sat down next to my brother.

“Did you have a nice time tonight?” Milo asked, and I nodded quickly.

“Yeah. I did. What about you?”

“It was okay,” he shrugged.

“I’m sorry. For the things I said today.” I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say, or if it made me sound like I was sorry he was gay or something.

But it was too late, and I would just deal with how he reacted.

“No, don’t be.” He ran a hand through his brown hair and looked away from me. “When I asked if you were gonna be home tonight, I was upset. But it was because you’ve been gone so much lately, and the other night, when I thought you were going to stay home and eat with me, you left. I just haven’t seen you very much. I kind of missed you.”

“Oh, Milo, I am sorry!” My eyes filled with tears, and I knew I couldn’t fight it off any longer. He had just missed me, and then I had been so horrible to him.

I had been gone a lot lately, thanks to Jack, and I hadn’t even really considered how Milo felt about it. No, scratch that. I did consider it; I just didn’t care. I had to be the worst sister in the world. Really.

“Let me finish,” Milo interjected quietly. “But… you were right. I am attracted to Jack. And guys in general. I just didn’t know how to tell you, or even how to tell myself, I guess. So that’s why I’ve been so distant lately.”

“You know I love you no matter what, right?” I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks, and I threw my arms around him. He squirmed a little but let me hug him. “I am so sorry I haven’t been around! I promise I’ll spend more time with you!”

“You don’t have to.” He pulled back from my grip but stayed close to me.

“I know that! I want to! I’ve missed you too. And I’m just so sorry for everything.”

“You can quit apologizing,” Milo said, not unkindly. “You didn’t really do that much wrong.”

“I still feel horrible,” I sniffled.

“Yeah, I get that.” He smiled, and I laughed a little.

“We’ll hang out tomorrow. I promise.”

“Okay,” Milo yawned. “I really need to get to bed, though. It’s way past my bedtime.” He got up and started walking to his bedroom.

“Okay,” I nodded, feeling genuinely sad to see him go. “Hey, Milo? I love you.”

“I know.” Then he disappeared into the darkness of his room. I went into my room and changed into my pajamas. I curled up underneath my covers, and for the first time in a long time, I cried myself to sleep.