How to Date a Dragon

Chapter 21

Drake and Bliss sat at his tiny table and bumped knees. Fortunately, when bumping knees with the love of his life, Drake didn’t mind at all.

“So, tell me. What happened to Zina?” Bliss took a bite of her chili dog—Drake’s specialty—and chewed politely.

“Well, it’s a long story.”

She nodded, swallowed, and said, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Unless you react badly to the truth, and then you might run out of here screaming.

“Well, it’s like this… I need to tell you more about my supernatural world before what happened to Zina makes any sense to you.”

Bliss groaned. “Oh, no. There’s more? Is this it? Because I’m really getting sick of learning all this crap nobody knows and being sworn to secrecy.”

“This is it. In fact, this is such a big secret, most paranormals don’t even know about it.”

“Fabulous,” Bliss muttered.

“It’s not too late if you really don’t want to know. I don’t have to—”

“Oh, yes you do. Otherwise I’ll wonder and project and drive myself crazy. Please, tell me everything. Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than finding out you’re a dragon.”

Hold that thought.

Drake bought some time by taking a bite of his own hot dog. Someone else did most of the cooking at the firehouse, and his kitchen was so tiny he’d never learned much more than how to open a can of chili and microwave a ready meal.

Bliss crossed her arms and waited for him to swallow. Apparently she wasn’t going to eat until he told her the story. Just as well… when she learns about Mother Nature and all the rest of the pantheon, she might choke on her hot dog.

“Okay, here goes… Do you remember the Greek pantheon of gods and goddesses from your mythology books?”

Bliss turned her head without breaking eye contact. “Yeah…” she said slowly, as if preparing to be skeptical.

“Well, they’re real. Case in point—Vulcan.”

Her eyes narrowed. “But Vulcan is a Roman god.”

“You’re right. His name in Greek is Hephaestus, but he prefers Vulcan. It reminds him of his blacksmith shop inside a volcano. I don’t think he gets to spend a lot of time there anymore, and he misses it.” Shut up, Drake. You’re babbling.

Bliss leaned forward. “Let me get this straight. You’re saying the reason Vulcan was able to walk through a wall and transport me out of Zina’s clutches was because he’s a god?”

“Correct.” Whew, this is going better than I thought.

And then Bliss burst out laughing. When her laughter disintegrated into giggles, she swiped at her eyes and said, “I suppose that’s one explanation for a majorly cool magic trick.”

Damn. If she didn’t believe Vulcan was a god, how would he explain Gaia and all the rest?

She held up her index finger as if she’d just remembered something. “Okay, so let’s say he’s a god. When he took me somewhere with a blinding white light, was that supposed to be Heaven?”

“Ah, I don’t think so. I wasn’t with you so I can’t say for sure, but he may have tried to blind you so you couldn’t see the rest of the Council.”

“Council? What Council?”

“It’s called the Gods and Immortals Association.”

“Wait a minute… we weren’t alone. I did hear a woman chewing him out for taking me there.”

Here we go… “That would be Gaia, also known as Mother Nature. She’s the head of the Council.”

Bliss’s jaw dropped and the conversation took a long, awkward pause.

“She’s the one who took Zina out.”

Bliss gasped. “She killed her?”

“Well, no. I said that wrong. Actually, she took away her fire, her flight, and her fertility, then dumped her in Siberia.

At last, Bliss closed her mouth and gulped.

“She wants to meet you.”

“Me? Are you saying Mother Nature is real and she wants to meet me?” Bliss’s eyes opened so wide, he could see the white all around her pretty brown irises.

Drake took a deep breath. “Yes. She’s very powerful, so I don’t blame you for being afraid.”

“I’m not…” Bliss took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Hell. I’m lying. I’m terrified. I can’t forget that blinding light and her anger at Vulcan for bringing me… wherever it was.”

“The Council is headquartered in a downtown office building.”

“In Boston?”

“Yes. They can go anywhere they want to with a snap of their fingers, but they seem to like it here. At least Gaia does.”

Bliss started with the giggles this time and worked herself into laughter. “Of all places… Boston? Why not Tahiti or Rio?”

“She likes the change of seasons.”

“Well, she’s freakin’ got it here.”

Drake chuckled, not only because Bliss entertained him, but also because he was relieved. His lover seemed to believe him. He smiled as he realized that was major evidence of her trust.

“So, why does she want to meet me?”

“She has a job offer for you.”

Bliss’s eyebrows shot up. “A job offer? What kind of job can I do for Mother Nature? Weed the public gardens? I’m pretty sure there are city workers already doing that.”

Now Bliss was babbling. He had to quickly explain the situation before she panicked.

“Bliss, honey, listen carefully. When I helped capture Zina, Mother Nature rewarded me by giving me back my immortality. I respectfully declined unless she could do the same for you. I couldn’t imagine going through eternity without the woman I love. As it turns out, she needs more muses. The original nine aren’t able to keep up with all the technological advances.” He waited for her to digest that much information before he continued… only Bliss filled in the blanks herself.

“And she wants me to be a muse?”

“Yes.”

“But what about my greeting card career?”

“You can still do that. In fact, she wants you to use your expertise in that area.”

“Huh?”

He reached across the table and took her hand. “You’re talented. You’re modern. You understand contemporary communication. She wants you to be the muse of social media.”

“You’re kidding. Like Twitter? What would I be? The head twit?”

“No, sweetheart. You’d be what you are—a goddess.”

“Awww…” Her eyes softened and she gave his hand a squeeze. “But no. I really don’t want a job outside of my card business. It’s about to take off, and it’ll be all I can do to keep up with that.”

Drake reared back. “You don’t want to be a goddess? Why not?”

“Well, for one thing, you know how I feel about the Internet. If I didn’t trust it for my cards, how can I trust social media? I’ll bet the pay and benefits suck too.”

He laughed but couldn’t help being a little disappointed.

“Way to go, Dragon Breath.”

Bliss whirled around to see a woman standing behind her. She wore a flowing white gown and had long, white hair, crowned by a ring of blue cornflowers that matched her eyes.

It can’t be…

The woman jammed her hands on her hips. “I wanted to be the one to tell her, blabbermouth. Now you’ve gone and ruined the surprise.”

Drake cringed. “Sorry, Gaia, I thought I ought to prepare her for your arrival.”

“Why? Because she might faint at the sight of me?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Well, you never know… She’s been incredibly understanding up to now, but everyone has their limits.”

“Hey, people.” Bliss waved. “I’m right here.”

Mother Nature grinned. “She’s feisty. I like that. Vulcan vouched for her, so I was pretty sure she could handle my glorious presence.”

Drake smiled at Bliss and let go of her hand as he rose. “Gaia, I’d like to formally introduce you to Bliss Russo.”

Bliss rose and offered Mother Nature her hand. “Pleased to meet you, Gaia.”

“Odd little custom,” Gaia muttered, but she shook hands with Bliss.

“Please… have a seat,” Drake said and offered her his chair.

Mother Nature glanced around the room and finally pointed to a spot by the table where an extra chair appeared. “Sure. But first, I’d like a glass of water. Do you have any on tap?”

Drake moved quickly to the refrigerator. “I can do better than that. I have bottled water.”

“Ack!” Gaia turned her head and shielded her eyes as if just seeing the item might offend her delicate sensibilities. “Don’t tell me you buy water in those damn plastic bottles. It’ll take centuries for them to decompose.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t… never mind. I can get you a glass of tap water.”

Still frowning, Gaia sat in the chair, then popped back up. She pointed to the seat and a cushion appeared. When she sat again, she wiggled a bit as if getting comfortable. “There. That’s better. I don’t mind a few modern conveniences as long as they don’t muck up my world.”

She tapped the chair next to her, inviting Bliss to sit down.

“Can you make one of those cushions for me too?” Bliss asked.

Gaia leaned back and studied her for a moment. “If you took the muse position, you could make it yourself.” She sighed. “Let me give you a taste of what it would be like to be a goddess—even a minor one. Just point to the seat and think ‘cushion.’”

Bliss could hardly believe this was happening. Did she have the power to make things appear and disappear at will now? She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and thought, “Cushion.”

Something soft landed on her head. Opening her eyes, she noticed a matching cushion to the one Mother Nature had conjured tumbling onto the floor.

Gaia reared back and laughed.

Bliss glanced at Drake, who appeared to be trying hard not to smile. He set the glass of water in front of Gaia.

“See? I’m not cut out for this,” Bliss said.

“I’ve heard you’re a quick study,” Gaia said. “I won’t have the time or patience to train you.”

Bliss’s eyes rounded. “Then how would I know what to do? I might transport myself into the middle of a tree or accidentally blow up the Internet.”

Gaia smirked. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you loose on the world without supervision.” She snapped her fingers and another young woman appeared. She looked exotic and was wearing colorful silks in the style of a belly-dancing costume. “Where were you, Thalia?”

“Just having a bit of fun,” the young woman said and chuckled. “Some kid found a beer can on the beach and rubbed it, wishing for a genie.”

Mother Nature rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes… you’d get along just fine. Bliss, this is Thalia, the muse of comedy. If you take the offer, she’d show you how to be a muse. And, Thalia…” Gaia pointed to Bliss. “This one doesn’t need you putting crazy ideas in her head. She has enough of those already. I’d just need you to teach her to be a well-behaved minor goddess.”

“Of course.” Thalia bowed to Mother Nature and rested a hand on Bliss’s shoulder. “You can count on me. What will she be the muse of?”

Mother Nature pointed to the middle of the room where a desk and computer appeared. “Keeping electronic communication healthy. Not poetry readings like the rest of you ninnies. She’ll be in charge of the Internet.”

“Whoa.” Bliss held up one hand. “Don’t I get a vote? Because if I still have a shred of free will, I don’t want the job.”

Thalia muttered, “Damn! Me and my sisters would love to be rid of that responsibility.”

Bliss shrugged. “Sorry.”

Mother Nature folded her arms. “Are you sure?”

Thalia draped an arm around her shoulder. “We could have so much fun! Think of the video bloopers. You should at least try it.” Thalia pointed directly at her. “Don’t touch the politically incorrect jokes, though. The jokes are mine.”

Bliss was tempted to back away. “Watch where you point that thing.”

Thalia leaned back and laughed.

“Look, you make it sound like fun,” Bliss said. “But I’ll bet there’s a whole lot of unfun stuff you’re not telling me about.”

Gaia straightened to her full height. Actually higher than her full height. She appeared to be hovering a few inches off the ground. Thunderclouds appeared in her eyes.

Oh, shit. Now I’m in for it.

Just as unexpectedly, Gaia floated to the floor and her whole demeanor changed. “How about a bribe? If you live in this little hovel, you can’t be making that much. Here’s a money tree.” Gaia pointed to the spot where she’d put the desk, and it disappeared. A second later a tree with rectangular leaves replaced it.

Are you kidding me? Bliss strolled over to the tree and plucked a crisp hundred-dollar bill from a low branch. With her mouth hanging open, she swiveled toward Gaia. “You can do that?”

“Of course I can. I’m Mother-freakin’-Nature. If I want a tree to grow puppies, I can make one.”

Bliss was too blown away to speak. Drake ambled over to her and put his arm around her waist. “I have some money saved up to buy us a bigger place. We don’t need to rely on Mother Nature to provide for us.”

Her gaze swept over the tree. It was firmly rooted in the floor. The ceiling was high enough to accommodate several branches, and there must have been thousands of dollars on it.

“I reward my muses. The last one wanted her own gallery on Newbury Street. That wasn’t cheap, either. Believe me.”

Thalia chuckled. “Actually, I think the tree is kind of brilliant. Unless there’s something else you want…”

Bliss stared at Drake and thought hard. At last she said, “I can’t think of anything I want that I don’t already have.”

Drake pulled her into a long, warm hug.

“Aw… that’s so sweet. I’d better go before you attract flies.”

“Wait,” Drake said. “Before you go. If Bliss doesn’t want to be a muse, I don’t want to be immortal.”

Gaia’s jaw dropped.

“I can’t imagine facing eternity without her.”

The powerful goddess threw her hands in the air. “You two are impossible to please.”

“Sorry,” Bliss said. “But thank you for the generous offer.”

“We’re happy just the way we are,” Drake added. He wrapped an arm around Bliss’s waist and gave her a side squeeze.

“Your loss.” Mother Nature folded her arms and disappeared.

Thalia stayed behind.

Bliss leaned in and lowered her voice. “Can she hear us?”

“Only if she wants to, and I doubt she does.”

“Whew. I can’t imagine working for her. She seems so…” Bliss couldn’t come up with the right word.

“Cynical? Snarky? Scoffing? Mocking?” Thalia supplied plenty of appropriate options to choose from.

“Yeah. All of that.”

Thalia shrugged. “You get used to it.”

“Well, I’m used to working for myself, and I like it that way.”

“Are you sure you won’t change your mind? There are so many cool things you could do. Do you like Paris?”

“I’ve never been there.”

One finger snap later, Bliss and Thalia were sitting atop the Eiffel Tower. It lit up the night in multiple colors. Bliss panicked and grabbed on to a steel beam. “What the… ? How did you do that?”

“Simple.” Thalia snapped her fingers and they returned to Drake’s apartment.

He was glancing all around as if wondering where they went. “Sheesh. I was afraid I’d lost you.”

“You’ll never lose me.” Bliss walked into Drake’s open arms. Thalia smiled and said, “I guess you really do have what you want.”

“I really do.”

Thalia winked and disappeared.

“Well, that was… enlightening,” Bliss said.

“Once again, you amaze me.”

“How is that?”

“You stuck to your guns. Even the most powerful goddess on earth can’t beg or bribe you out of your integrity.”

Bliss smiled. “And you impressed me too, lover. Giving up your immortality? For me? Are you sure you want to do that?”

He caressed her arms and gazed into her eyes. “Positive.”

They shared a long, languorous kiss. Their lips parted at the same time, and their tongues sought each other and swirled in perfect synchronization. Bliss’s heart was full.

“I have to go to my parents’ house tonight,” Bliss said. “If I don’t get there soon, they’ll send out a Saint Bernard to find me.”

“I imagine they already have the red carpet rolled out for you,” Drake said.

“Uh… maybe. But the party might be over as soon as I deliver some bad news.”

“Bad news? What is it, honey? Maybe I can help.”

“No. I’m afraid you are the bad news.”

“Huh?”

“I have to let my mother know I won’t be producing grandchildren.”

“Oh. I can be there to support you. Maybe if she knows how much I love you… and I’d be fine with adoption.”

Bliss held up one hand. “Stop. That’s why I can’t have you there. You might say something to get her hopes up. I’m not sure if I want kids. We haven’t discussed it yet. All I want to do is tell her not to fix up the nursery. I can do that on my own.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. In fact, I should get going. Seriously. I’ve put this off for too long as it is, but it’s time.”

Drake nodded and let her go.

Bliss strolled up to her parents’ front door and knocked.

When her mother opened the door she blinked. “Bliss. Why did you knock? Don’t you have your keys?”

“No. I forgot them at Drake’s place, but we were halfway here and I didn’t want him to turn around and go back.”

Her mother stuck her head out the door and glanced up and down the front porch. “Where’s Drake? And for that matter, where’s your luggage? Your purse?”

“Ma. I forgot everything in Drake’s truck. I was a little—distracted. I have something important to discuss with you.”

“Oh, no. You two didn’t have a fight, did you?”

“No. We’re fine.”

Mrs. Russo wiped her forehead dramatically. “Whew!”

“So, can I come in or what?”

“Oh. Of course.” Her mother giggled and stepped aside.

Bliss headed to the kitchen where they always had their talks. Serious talks or just chitchat. It happened more easily in the kitchen. She started to open the refrigerator for a bottle of water. Suddenly, Mother Nature’s reaction replayed in her head and she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and drew her water from the tap instead.

“Tap water? We have some of the good stuff in the fridge.”

“No, thanks. I want to lessen my carbon footprint.”

“Whatever that means,” her mother mumbled.

I won’t bother to explain it now. “Where’s Dad?”

“He’s in the basement, of course. Is this serious, Blissy?” Malinda Russo’s pretty forehead had few wrinkles unless she was worried. At that moment new wrinkles seemed to make an appearance. Bliss wondered how many of those were her fault. Chances were that Ricky and Emilio had contributed plenty.

“It’s not terrible… at least not to me. You might be disappointed, though.”

“Did they take the prize away from you? Were you mugged? Drugged?” She gasped. “Were you in another fire—”

“Ma, stop! I’m fine.”

At last her mother said, “I’ll get Daddy,” and she strode to the cellar door.

Oh, no. Her mother didn’t call him “Daddy” unless she was preparing to make Bliss feel like a little girl again. No doubt her mother was already planning to make Bliss move back in so she could take care of her.

“Romeo,” her mother bellowed. “Bliss is home, and she has something bad to tell us.”

“Oh crap,” she heard her father say from below.

Bliss groaned. “Don’t make a big deal out of it, Mom. It’s really not that bad.” I hope.

When all three of them were seated at the kitchen table, Bliss began. “I don’t know any way to say this tactfully, so I’ll just say it.”

“Why should this be different from any other conversation?” her father mumbled.

Bliss held her tongue until the urge to retaliate had passed. “Look. I know you were counting on grandchildren…”

Her mother’s hand flew to her chest. She looked like she was holding her breath, so Bliss thought she’d better get to the point before her mother passed out.

“Drake’s sterile. We won’t be having kids.”

Her mother sagged back in her chair, and her hand dropped to dangle by her side.

“That’s it?” her father asked. “That’s the big, bad news?”

“Yeah. That’s it.”

Mrs. Russo closed her eyes and swallowed. She looked as if she were counting to ten. At last, she opened her glistening eyes and said, “Honey, it’s not the end of the world.”

Bliss almost fell off her chair. “It’s not?”

“No. It’s not. There are alternatives these days. There are sperm banks and—”

“Oh, for the love of… Look. We aren’t even married yet. We don’t know if we want to pursue other options or not. I just wanted you to know so you wouldn’t be hinting to Drake or asking me every month if I’d missed my period.”

“That’s it for me,” her father said. He rose and went back to the basement.

Her mother put on a brave smile. “I understand, Blissy. I’ll let you two figure it out on your own. Lord, I was afraid you were going to tell me the wedding was off.”

Bliss chuckled. “Well, we haven’t set a date or anything. I figure you guys will understand if we just elope to Las Vegas.”

Mrs. Russo shot to her feet. “How dare you! Your father and I have been saving money for your wedding since you were born.”

Bliss laughed. “Relax, Ma. I was kidding.”

Her mother plopped onto her chair and gazed at the ceiling. “You’ll be the death of me, young lady.”

“So, is it a deal? No pressure on me to have kids? And you won’t hold it against Drake?”

Her mother leaned over and smoothed Bliss’s hair like when she was little. “As long as he makes you happy, honey, that’s the most important thing.”

“He does, Ma. He really does.”