Highland Vengeance

Chapter 14

The journey north came within the month. Dispatches were sent to Lord Thorfinn, and three ships arrived to carry Macbeth’s household by sea to Caithness.

The Northmen’s longships were similar to the ships in Ynes Verleath. I tried to learn what I could about how the ship actually functions, but was eventually escorted by a well-meaning sailor to a safe spot where I wouldn’t be able to put myself in danger. I bit my tongue. Since I’d come into Macbeth’s company, I’d returned to the same attitude that ruled Allister’s household: women were property, not people.

I should have run away with Banquo.

Thora, however, had the run of the ship. The men seemed to think she was good luck. And from the looks she was giving me, it amused Thora that I was told to go sit while she got to do as she liked. Annoying, willful, magical dog.

So, instead of learning how to do anything, I sat and held Lulach while the North Sea passed me by. The sight of the water made me feel lonely for Ynes Verleath. There was so much Andraste hadn’t taught me. My mind went back to the moment in the chamber of the Lord of the Hollow Hills. What I’d seen there was nothing short of wizardry. Now I was forced to sit in a corner and stay out of the way. In Ynes Verleath, I’d learned how to raise the dead. But I should have expected as much. My husband’s brief, nightly visits had become a clear indication that my new purpose in life was to provide him with an heir. Since the first encounter, Macbeth had come again and again. Macbeth’s visits were always brief. He never stayed afterward, never seemed to realize that I might actually want or need pleasure. He pleased himself, filled me with his seed, then left. I knew this was the way most lords and ladies lived, but it was not how I wanted to live. And it was not how I had lived with Gillacoemgain. Maybe Macbeth just didn’t know any better. I was at a loss for what to do. If I did give him a child, maybe things would be different, better.

My hand drifted to my stomach. My courses had not yet started again, but I was still nursing Lulach. There was no way to be sure yet if I was pregnant. I didn’t feel life inside me. My mind drifted to Crearwy. I ached desperately for my child, but this was no life for her—not for any woman. The priests of the White Christ preached submission of women. Macbeth had grown up on the doctrine, and, it seemed, believed it.

I hoped things would be better in Thurso. Otherwise, I was about to spin myself a noose. Surely, those who lived so far in the north knew and honored the old ways—and their women.

When the port of Thurso became visible, my heart leaped with excitement.

“Is that it, my lady?” Ute asked.

“I think so.”

“What an adventure,” she said wistfully. “Ah! There is Macbeth,” she said, pointing happily to another ship that was already in port. I scanned the dock for Banquo but didn’t see him.

At last, our ship finally joined the others. Once our ship was safely moored, Macbeth boarded to see me safely debarked.

“I love Thurso,” he told me. “Come. You’ll see. It is a wonder.”

With his arm wrapped around me, we made our way up the pier toward a hulking blond-haired man. He had long blonde hair with an equally long beard. Braids had been woven through his hair and beard.

Ute followed behind us carrying Lulach.

“Brother!” the man called to Macbeth.

I recognized the blond giant from my visions in the cauldron. This was Thorfinn the Mighty, a man whom Gillacoemgain had vehemently detested. Macbeth embraced him.

“My wife, Gruoch,” Macbeth said, turning to me.

“Lord Thorfinn,” I said with a curtsey.

The huge man smiled down at me. “Pretty, very pretty,” Thorfinn said, looking at me assessing. He smirked at Macbeth. “Hard to tell what you’re going to get with a royal lady.”

Macbeth laughed. “There is no lovelier creature on Earth,” he said, eyeing me with such unexpected devotion that I felt confused. Who was this man? Where had this kind creature been all these months?

I turned back to Thorfinn. “Pleased to meet you, my lord. And what about you? Are you married, sir?”

“Not yet. But if I can get these ridiculous Norwegians to hand over Ingibjorg before I am compelled take her by force, I will be.”

I laughed. “Is she such a beauty that you would risk war just to claim her?”

“I would risk the whole of England for her!”

The three of us laughed then turned and headed down the pier. Thora raced ahead of us to Banquo, who was waiting alongside a dark-haired woman I’d seen—as the raven—once before. The woman was holding onto a small boy who was wiggling to get down.

“Ah, your playmate awaits you,” Macbeth commented lightly, speaking only loud enough for me to hear.

His words startled me. I searched Macbeth’s face, but he quickly covered his expression with a smile.

“My Lady of Moray, may I present my wife, Merna, and my boy, Fleance,” Banquo said. He would not meet my eye.

Merna smiled. “My lady.”

I felt like someone had struck me with a dagger. Was this how Banquo had felt all this time? I stared at Merna in disbelief. How was she his wife?

Pulling myself together, I said, “Merry met.” I turned my attention to their child. “Fleance, eh? Well, come to me, little lad, so I can get a better look at you,” I said, reaching out to the child.

The boy, who was about two years old with curly brown hair like his father, reached for me. I held him on my hip then gazed into his mischievous brown eyes. How like his father he looked. If Banquo and I had our own son, would he have looked like this?

“Aren’t you a handsome one? Strong too,” I said, feeling the muscles in his little arms.

Merna laughed. “Now, that’s a sight. That boy won’t even go to his own kin. He took right to you, my lady. Can you believe it, Banquo?”

“I can,” Banquo answered softly, which earned him a questioning look from his wife.

“Hello, Fleance,” I told him. “I’m Gruoch.”

“Gru…Gruc…Gorch,” he said with a laugh then reached out to touch the torc hanging around my neck.

“Gruoch is such a dreadful name. I never understood why my father gave it to me. How about Corbie? Can you say Corbie?” I asked, tickling him.

The boy laughed. “Cor-bee!”

I hugged the boy tightly, closing my eyes. This was supposed to be my child. I kissed him on the head. Sweet piece of life.

When I opened my eyes again, I caught Banquo’s gaze. I glanced away before the others saw. I could not rest my eyes on him now. If I did, they would all see. They would all see how much I still loved him.

A sharp pain crashed across my skull. My knees nearly buckled.

“Oh,” I gasped. Moving carefully, I handed Fleance to his father.

“Gruoch?” Macbeth said, taking me by the arm. “Are you ill?”

“It’s nothing,” I lied. “Just a wee bit seasick.” Waves of pain rolled across my head, shooting toward my temples and the backs of my eyes. I bit the inside of my mouth, forcing away the pain that wanted to take over me. My hands shook.

No.

Not now.

“Come,” Thorfinn said, his voice sounding serious. He studied my face carefully. “Your wife needs rest, Macbeth.”

His arm wrapped around me, Macbeth led me to a fortress that sat high above the water. When I entered the space, I was surprised to find that I recognized it. Every detail of the longhouse was clear in my memory. Many years ago, with Sid’s guidance, I’d sent a casting to Banquo. This is where he’d been.

The memory was further driven home when a black-robed man stood to greet us. He had long black hair and an equally long beard which was streaked with white hair. Around his neck, he wore the amulet of a skald. He bowed to his lord then looked over the rest of us, pausing when his eyes met mine.

“You,” he whispered, narrowing his eyes as he looked at me.

“This is Lady Macbeth, Anor,” Thorfinn said, his voice sounding sharp.

“I’ve seen this lady before.”

“That is not possible,” Macbeth said with a frown.

Anor stared at me.

I turned to Banquo. His eyes met mine, and I could see that he remembered. What had Banquo and I said to one another all those years ago? What had the skald heard?

My thoughts were distracted when a wave of pain washed over me once more. My body jerked in response.

“Come, Gruoch. How pale she looks. Come sit,” Thorfinn said, leading me to the massive center fire. “My skald, Anor. He sings well, but he’s meddlesome,” Thorfinn complained. “I half suspect he’s my cousin, Rognevald’s spy.”

“I am no spy,” Anor retorted.

“I’m sorry, sir. I think you have mistaken me,” I told the skald, my voice shaky.

“Indeed. That must be the case. My apologies, Lady Macbeth,” Anor said.

“He’s full of superstitions, that one. But he won’t wag his tongue about you, or I’ll have it cut out of his mouth. You hear me, Anor?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Red,” Thorfinn called to a buxom woman with a long red braid trailing down her back, “bring Lady Macbeth some wine.”

“Maybe you should lie down,” Macbeth said, hovering nervously.

“No, I’ll be okay,” I said.

The red-haired woman hurried back with a goblet of wine. “M’lady,” she said with an awkward curtsey.

Thorfinn frowned as he looked me over. “You’re right, Macbeth. Forgive me, my lady, but you look pale as milk,” he said then turned to Macbeth. “Let’s go make sure your longhouse is ready then we’ll get her settled. Banquo and Merna will watch over her until we return,” Thorfinn said then led Macbeth outside. As they exited, I heard Thorfinn ask, “Hasn’t she ever been on a ship before? Didn’t you advise her on how to keep her stomach calm at sea? Why didn’t you sail with her?”

I heard Macbeth stammer a reply as the two exited, leaving me behind with Banquo and his family.

“Gruoch, are you all right?” Banquo asked. He reached out to touch me then pulled his hand back.

I inhaled deeply then exhaled. “I’ll be okay. It…will pass.”

“My lady,” Ute said, settling in on the other side of me.

“I’m okay,” I whispered.

“Merna, this is Gruoch’s son, Lulach,” Banquo told his wife. Moving carefully, Ute handed Lulach to Banquo.

Merna gasped. “My lady! He’s such a wee thing. How old is he?”

“Four months,” I said then took a sip of wine.

“Oh, but I thought—” she began but left off, her brows furrowing when she could not make sense of the matter.

“Lulach is the son of Gillacoemgain of Moray,” Banquo explained.

Merna’s brows raised in surprise then she nodded. “Difficult times for you then,” she said, looking at me tenderly.

I smiled softly at her, studying her face which had a sprinkle of freckles over her nose, her cheeks dimpling when she smiled. She had a full bosom, round hips, and long, curly dark hair. She was a sweet, pleasing woman. But more, goodness exuded from her, as did the glow of the otherworld. She was one of us. I suddenly felt annoyed with myself for the jealously I’d felt. It was petty of me.

“My husband told me he knew you in his youth, that you met when he traveled with Balor,” Merna said.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“I’m so glad to have you here amongst us. You’ll find Thurso very welcoming to people of our beliefs.”

“And when you have time, I have a little treasure to show you,” Banquo told me.

“Treasure?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’ll see,” Banquo said teasingly. He was trying to lift my spirits, distract me from whatever was ailing me. “She’ll see, won’t she?” he said, looking down at Lulach who giggled and reached out to grab his nose. “She’ll be surprised. Won’t that be fun?”

I chuckled, feeling some of the pain recede.

“Welcome, dear sister,” Merna said, reaching out to squeeze my hand.

I stared at her. In that moment, my heart softened. It was no more Merna’s fault that Banquo and I had loved than it was Gillacoemgain’s. I would not hold any resentment toward her.

“Fleance,” Merna called as the boy dawdled to the door, laughing mischievously as he went. She rose and went after the boy, who took off like an arrow when he saw his mother coming for him, racing out the door as fast as his little legs could carry him. Ute rose to help Merna before the child fell into the sea.

Banquo shook his head then turned to me. “Are you all right now?”

“I will be. I’ve always been prone to these kind of fits.”

“Have you talked to a healer?”

“I’ll speak to Epona,” I said absently as I watched through the open door as Merna picked up Fleance who was grinning wickedly. She kissed his face while she chided his recklessness. “He’s a handsome child,” I said.

Banquo gazed down at Lulach. “As is Lulach.”

We turned then toward each other, our eyes meeting. A million words went unspoken.

How had everything turned out like this?