Highland Raven

Chapter 19

Fall drifted away. The hills turned purple with heather and then back to a dingy brown. It was not long before the cold winter winds began to whip. The fresh fruits and vegetables disappeared from our table and were replaced by potted foods, meats, and breads.

At the end of October, we began preparing for the Samhain celebration, and I began counting the days until Banquo returned. There had been no word from Madelaine. I didn’t know if she’d yet spoken to Malcolm. A holiday for dark magic, Samhain marked the eve when the veil between the worlds would be the thinnest. And it was the night most sacred to the dark goddesses. I waited on Samhain, but the days before dragged on with excruciating slowness.

“How did you stand living in the castle? If I spend even a few days walled up I begin to feel my mind slip,” Sid complained as she paced her room one evening.

“I didn’t think about it much, and I had Madelaine to entertain me.”

“Mad Elaine, Mad Elaine, ever full of life. Let’s pass the time. Want to learn how to send a casting? I know you’ve done it before, but you can never practice too much, Raven Beak.”

I nodded.

“Then lie down,” she said and crawled onto her bed. She grinned at me.

I smirked at Sid. We’d never said anything about what had passed between us. Sid acted as if nothing unusual had happened, but I’d begun to see her in a different light. I adored her, and she was intimately tied to Banquo, whom I loved. I wanted to marry Banquo, to be his bride, to bear his children. I wanted to rule Lochaber at his side. With Sid, I just wanted to be with her. We belonged together, her and me and Banquo. The three of us. When Sid lay down, I felt a strong urge to touch her, to put my lips and hands on her, to feel that wild energy inside her. To feel her. When I thought about it, I wondered about the deep affection I saw between Uald and Madelaine, and wondered if it was similar.

“Not now,” Sid said with a grin. “Lie down and learn something.”

“I’m fairly certain I learned a few things the last time I lay down on this bed,” I said with a wink.

Sid laughed, reached over, and pinched me. “Pay attention, Raven Beak. What you must do is lift out of your body. Rise up without moving a muscle. You will have complete control of where you go. You will not be at the whim of chance. I’ve seen you do it before. Go ahead and try.”

I looked at Sid. “But how?”

“Ride the silver thread as you did in the barrow when you visited the Wyrd Sisters or glide on your raven wings. Close your eyes and rise up as you did before. But rise up and out of your body.”

I tried to quiet my mind, which still rumbled with thoughts of Sid’s soft skin and fiery touch. After some time, I became still and focused on my breathing, on the beating of my heart. I pulled my energy in and focused. I focused on my soul. I tried to see Sid’s room through my mind’s eye. I thought about the moon. Determined to look at the glowing orb, I bade myself sit up. And I did. I saw the room around me and Sid lying beside me. I rose, walked to the window, and gazed out at the silvery disc. It was nearly full. In two weeks it would be Samhain.

“See,” Sid said. “You’ve done it with no trouble at all.”

I turned around. Our bodies lay on the bed. Sid stood beside herself. It was different, much different, from when I had traveled to the Wyrd Sisters. And this time, I did not have my raven wings. I was myself, but in spirit. And this time, I was in control.

“Is this how you usually go the faerie?” I asked.

“Sometimes. Sometimes I go to them whole as I did that day in the barrow.”

“How did you do that?”

“I saw the portal to their world. Sometimes it is a glowing light. Sometimes there is a door. It is easier to walk between the world as solid flesh when you are in the old holy places, cairns, circle stones, or even caves. There are many caves in our realm that lead to dark, old places. They are guarded by the little people of the hollow hills who will trick you and kill you if they can. That’s how I got lost at the autumn festival. They turned me around in the caves, and I emerged far from here. They are dark, old, and dangerous things.”

“What are they?”

“Not human. Not faerie. Old. Ancient. From another world and time,” she said. I couldn’t help but notice her tremble. “Come, let’s send before we grow too tired.”

“Send?”

“Who do you want to see?” she asked.

“Banquo,” I said right away.

She smiled.

It was strange to exist as a specter. I lifted my hands and saw through them. The world outside my window was silver.

“Where do you suppose Banquo is?” Sid asked.

“Somewhere north, or on his way here.”

“Think then. See him. Find him. There is a tie between you and him. It is strong. Feel that pull and follow it.”

I closed my eyes and thought about Banquo. I suddenly became warm, as if I was standing near a fire. I smelled men’s bodies and ale. The heat was stifling. It made me feel heavy with sleep. I cracked my eyes open and saw a roaring fire in the center of a hall. Men slept on the floor under heavy furs. The wind outside whipped at the doors, but the heat backed the chill away. I opened my eyes more fully and looked around. I noticed Balor sleeping near the fire. My eyes sought out Banquo. He was half-awake, half-drunk sitting on a stool in front of the hearth. I walked toward him. He spied movement and looked up. At first he squinted, as if he could not see me clearly, then his eyes opened wide.

“Cerridwen?” he whispered.

Could I speak? “Hello, Love.”

He paled. “Is something wrong?”

“All is well. It is only that I missed you. Are you coming soon?”

“Lord Thorfinn has just given us his leave. We ride south in the morning.”

“This is the stronghold of Thorfinn the Mighty?”

Banquo nodded.

Another man stirred and sat up. He stared at me. He had long black hair, a long black beard peppered with white, and a sharp gaze. He wore black robes and had the pelt of a fox draped over his head. Around his neck, however, he wore a medallion carved with runes; it was the badge of a skald.

“Soon then,” I whispered to Banquo and pulled back. As if I was being reeled in like a fish, I felt my energy snap back, and I stood once again in Sid’s room. Her shadow was waiting. Both of our bodies still lay on the bed.

“You spoke to him?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Let’s go back to ourselves before you tire too much,” she said.

“How?”

“Don’t look at your body, simply lie back into it.”

Looking out the window, I lay back down on the bed, lying back into myself. I heard a loud noise as I took a sharp inhale. Suddenly, my flesh felt solid. I felt my heart. It was beating very softly. After a moment, Sid took a similar breath. She rolled over and rested her head on my chest.

“There was another man there who was able to see me,” I whispered.

“Besides Banquo?” Sid asked, lacing her fingers in mine.

“A skald. Banquo is north with Lord Thorfinn. They will leave in the morning to join us.”

“Thorfinn is said to have a gifted seer who travels with him. Those with the gift can see you when you cast.”

“That must have been him then,” I said and closed my eyes. “I feel so tired. And dizzy.”

“It’s always like that after a casting,” Sid replied. Her voice sounded distant. “You’ll get more used to it, but it always wears you out.”

I wanted to reply but was too weak. I snuggled closer to Sid, inhaling the scent of lemon balm soap in her hair, and fell asleep, the moonlight casting silver rays down on us.