Highland Raven

Chapter 15

After Beltane, my training in the magical arts continued. Epona finished her lessons on Ogham then turned to the symbols carved into the standing stones by the ancient people of the land, the Picts. My father’s blood was the blood of old Alba. I was descended from the woad-painted Picts. The first people here, the native people of this land, the Picts, practiced ancient and arcane magic. Engraved on stones, worked into embroidery, and even tattooed on bards, Pictish symbols were everywhere. I wanted to know what the symbols meant.

“Why do a husband and wife exchange a comb and mirror at their wedding?” Epona asked as we stood alone, deep in the forest, beside a large boulder. Epona had cleared away some lichen and fern to reveal that the stone was carved. On it were many symbols, boars, crescents, and a set of double discs, but it also had a comb and mirror carved thereon.

“I always thought it had something to do with the woman’s beauty,” I replied.

Epona smiled at me. “As do most people, but I want you to look at the actual objects,” she said, and from her small bag she pulled out a small round hand mirror and a comb. She handed the comb to me.

“What is it made from?” she asked me.

I felt the pale-colored comb. On it, someone had engraved the image of a merwoman. “Bone.”

“But what kind of bone?”

I shook my head. “Stag?”

“That is whale bone, a great creature of the sea. And, of course, you see the traditional merwoman carved thereon. Have you ever noticed there is always a merwoman or some sea creature carved on the comb?”

I nodded. She was right.

“The comb,” she said, “is a symbol of the sea. If the ritual is performed properly, the comb is always made of whale bone and always decorated with water images.” She took the comb from me and set it on the boulder. She then lifted the mirror to reflect my face. I’d become toned from my work in the smithy. The sunlight overhead made my black hair shimmer blue and brought out the violet color of my eyes. Behind me, the forest glowed vibrant green. “A woman, and her womb, is all earth, but around her is all spirit, air. She is ready. She is all. She is the fertile land. Around her is the air of heaven. But her womb cannot grow without—”

“Without seed…water,” I said.

Epona lowered the mirror. “Land and sea. The mirror and the comb are fertility magic. They have nothing to do with beauty. They are a reflection of the two forces, male and female, that come together to bring life into the world, the land and sea merging to become one living force,” Epona said then turned and touched the stone. “Someone married here.” She reached out to touch the symbols. “In days long past, true love was pledged here. Long forgotten.” She gently put the items back into her bag, and we headed back to the coven.

As we walked back, I could not help but think of Banquo. Would I be permitted to marry the Thane of Lochaber? Certainly, it was the title of a lesser house, but it was still a title. Maybe if Malcolm knew I had found someone I cared for, he would permit it. And certainly Banquo’s father would never deny my family. I would have to entreat Madelaine. She would come soon. If Alister was really…dead…she would come soon.

* * *

But Madelaine didn’t come that day nor the next. What if my vision had been false? What if Alister was alive and well and still beating Madelaine every night? I couldn’t stand the thought of it: her dislocated shoulders, broken lips, swollen eyes. It made me sick. It made me angry. So I waited, every day, praying she would come. Days turned into weeks and then months.

One day near midsummer, when I still pined for my aunt, Epona and I took the horses out for a ride so Epona could teach me rule of nines Madelaine had mentioned.

“The natural order of things comes in specific sets of numbers. Three is a holy number, as well you know. Even the priests of the White Christ know this with their Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is interesting, no, that the Christians maintain a pantheon of gods, or a single god with three faces, but still call us heretical for having more than one god?”

“I am afraid I know very little of Christianity. Madelaine didn’t permit the priests to teach me.”

“Then you must read the holy writ of the White Christ.”

I frowned.

“If you seek to help the Goddess, you must understand what mistruths and wrongdoings you are avenging. To do so, however, you must know their holy tales. You must learn Latin. It should be easy for you. You have a quick mind for languages.”

I was often complimented on my beauty or my lineage, but rarely complimented for my mind. Epona’s words made me smile; I felt proud.

We rode across the windswept Lowlands. The rolling fields spread across the land, a vista of shades of green: emerald, chartreuse, and sage. We’d left the woods and had been riding toward the east coast.

“Yet, I digress. Three is a holy number. It relates to the three faces of the Goddess. Nine, as well, is a holy number. A multiple of three, it is the number of the Queens of the Fisher King, and goes even further back to the old covens, such as the ones on Avalon, Hy Brasil, the Fortress of Shadows, and Atlantis. The number three also relates to the stone circles that dot our land. Your friend Banquo is riding from circle to circle to learn the mysteries of the stones. He walks where the worlds are thin, much like you do. That is why he wears the mark of the stag god. He has walked in the old worlds, encountered his god, and survived. Your Banquo is a rare talent,” Epona said.

I could tell from the look on her face that she was baiting me. But I didn’t mind. Epona felt like a mother. I felt natural warmth and protectiveness coming from her.

“He is special,” I replied.

“I am not certain that a match with Lochaber will be permitted. You must steel your heart, just in case. It is so painful to love someone but be given to another,” she said, and for a moment, her brown-gold eyes looked far away.

Her words struck me. She was right. What if we were denied? It would be hell to be married off to someone else. I couldn’t stand the thought of it. I gazed at Epona. A single tear streamed down her cheek. She wiped it away. “Epona?”

“Once, long ago, such was my fate. A wild girl in love with a wild boy…given to a harsh old man in marriage,” she said.

“I’m sorry for you,” I told her, reaching out to touch her hand. “But you’re here now. What of your wild boy? I mean, if you are here now, perhaps he—”

“He is long dead.” Epona cleared her throat then painted on a smile again. “Yes, all that is long past. But remember, dear Cerridwen, no one is married on Beltane,” she said with a smile. “Now, besides three, four is also a number of significance: four seasons, four elements. Fire, of course, is the most volatile of all the elements. It creates energy in a quick and forceful way. Even the priests of the White Christ can sense the power of fire. That is why candles burn on their altars. The power in fire can bring images to the mind and help one divine the future. Have you ever seen images in fire?”

I nodded.

“What did you see?”

“Recently, myself and a man. We were arguing.”

“Have you seen this man before?”

“Not in the flesh, but I have seen him…in the cauldron. It was the Wyrd Sisters who first showed him to me.” Their words haunted me. Your King, they had called him. But did they mean that he would be King of Scotland, ruler over us all, or would he be my King?

“Go cautiously with the Wyrd Sisters. They have their eyes on you but they plot and meddle at times where they should not. Heed my word and be careful.”

I nodded. Epona was right. I sensed their old, dark magic. It had a hint of danger to it. “And once, in the fire, I saw a vision of ravens in the snow, bloody snow, when my father died.”

“Then the talent for divination lies in you. Not surprising. Use this power. Practice it. If the power to see the future lies in your hands, it is a great tool. Never trust the Wyrds blindly. Always seek answers for yourself. Fire, of course, is not the only diviner. Water can also show the future. Water and air are essential elements. The winds, however, come from four directions, and those directions each have a specific function. When the wind comes from the north it can mean death or change. An east wind indicates wisdom. A south wind is a powerful wind. A west wind is fertile and love-giving. And, finally, we come to earth. Earth is the embodiment of fertility. Think of it; we put a seed in the ground, it grows, from it springs food that allows us to live. To me, that is magic.”

Epona directed her mare up the hill. When we reached the top we found ourselves at the shoreline. Far below us was a sandy shore and dark blue water. It was beautiful. I looked behind me to see the horizon rolling with fat hills.

“Look. There is a ship,” Epona said and pointed out toward the water.

We dismounted.

Epona plucked some grass. The wind took it and pulled it behind us. “We have a west wind.” She then took my left hand and lifted it above our heads. She raised her other hand. I mimicked her.

“We call you, wind of the west, wind of love and fertility, and we offer you our love and respect in exchange for your power.”

We both stilled, and the wind continued to blow around us.

“We ask for a fair wind if those upon that ship are friends to our land and country. If those upon that ship mean to do ill to our kinsmen, then whip up your strength and banish them from the sea!”

I channeled my power into Epona’s words, closing my eyes, and let my body feel the wind around me. At first it blew erratically, but then began to blow strong and steady. A firm, good wind pushed from the land to the sea, lending its power to the ship’s sails. In my mind’s eye, I could see the wind whipping around me, sparkling gold.

Epona brought our hands down.

I opened my eyes. “Friend,” I said as I looked out at the water.

Epona nodded and pulled a wine flask from her saddle bag. She took a long drink and handed the skin to me. We rested quietly, and after a while decided it was time to turn back.

My mind was lost to my thoughts as we rode back. Epona, too, was quiet. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking about her wild boy. Who had Epona been before this place?

I sighed heavily. So much was happening. I knew I had come to the grove for training, but I had not expected…well, all of this. It was far beyond any girlish expectation. I felt awed by the world that had opened itself to me. I felt strength under my skin I’d never felt before. That strength made me feel powerful. I felt alive. I felt anger and lust. It was almost like pieces of myself were collecting themselves back to me once again. When I was with Sid, I felt more solid. Banquo ignited feelings I had only ever dreamed of. He was my wild boy, a druid who walked between the worlds. I wanted to be with him…and with Sid. I wanted there to be a place, a world, where we could all be together. I wanted to feel Cerridwen, and the raven wings, and be that part of myself living just under my skin. What would that place look like? What would that life look like? If my visions were true, that life would look like the life of Queen Boudicca, and it was a life I’d already lived.